#31 The Girl Who Wants to Leave (2)
By the time they returned to the camper van from the beach, the rain had started up again. As if determined to make up for its late arrival, it poured relentlessly these days, leaving puddles that never dried on the ground. After quick showers to wash away the sweat, they collapsed onto the bed they'd shared for the past few days. Exhausted from wandering all day, Seohae was already dozing off with heavy eyelids by the time Yuchan emerged from the bathroom. She clutched a pillow nearly as big as her torso, sprawled out like she was about to scale a rock wall.
"Put some pants on before you sleep."
He tapped the round curve of her ass peeking from under the bathrobe. Seohae stirred groggily and sat up, looking like a rabbit rousing from hibernation. A sudden surge of lust hit him. Of course, he hadn't woken her just to spare her a cold. They still hadn't finished their real conversation. There were words he needed to hear from her.
"Um, how long did I sleep?"
"Five minutes?"
"That's barely anything."
Seohae stretched languidly, her energy levels starkly mismatched from her drowsiness. She patted the spot beside her. Seeing Yuchan standing there naked didn't faze her anymore—they'd tangled bodies countless times by now. He turned off the light and lay down next to her. As if she'd been waiting, she latched onto his arm. Through the gap in her open robe, her perky breasts pressed against him, her tiny heart thudding away. Soft skin. Elastic enough to bounce back at the slightest touch. Without a word, Seohae dragged her nails lightly across his firm chest. A prickly sensation.
"Mister, what do you think of me?"
"What do you mean?"
Expecting her to melt into nipple play and straight sex, Yuchan was caught off guard by her different tack.
"Like, what kind of person I seem like, or how I come across. You know, the stuff you can't see about yourself that shows up in someone else's eyes. I want to hear that."
She rushed the words without pause, ending with a breathless "honestly." Yuchan paused, lost in thought. His first encounter with Seohae had been a fresh shock. She'd pierced straight through to his core, the essence no one else could see—and she hadn't run. A lamb handing her flank to the wolf's warmth out of heartbreaking loneliness. The pinnacle of folly, offering her nape knowing she'd be devoured, knowing she'd never be understood.
"A convenient woman I could devour anytime."
Even deliberately wounding words like that.
"Seriously, not that!"
She brushed it off with a playful whine. And strangely, she never got mad, even as her sunflower wilted bit by bit in her chest with every repetition. Seohae saw through people with ruthless ease. She knew Yuchan wasn't drawn to her as a person, but to how she clung desperately no matter the cruelty. He understood that and exploited it just enough—summoning her for sex when he wanted, humiliating her on whims, flashing occasional tenderness to mimic the "warmth" she craved.
"What do you think of me?"
He'd wondered that for a while now. What lens did she view him through, sticking close despite his callousness?
Seohae hesitated before answering.
"Mm~ A bad person, honestly."
Did she really need to soften it like that? Her vague expression shifted as she prodded him.
"But I asked first. Cutting in line is cheating, Mister. Give me a proper answer."
She tilted her head up, her propped-up cheeks looking soft and puffy. Yuchan spoke.
"I don't know. Whatever I say won't be the answer you want."
Seohae's shoulders slumped at his half-hearted reply. Rare for her, always hiding weakness so fiercely—uncertainty flickered openly in her eyes. Unable to see her face as he kissed the hickey on her nape and groped her ass, Yuchan suddenly felt her throat vibrate against his lips.
"Just once..."
Her voice choked, fragmented emotions spilling out pitifully like a dam breaking after long suppression.
"Can't you be kind just once?"
"What's this about?"
Pulling back, Yuchan found himself shoved hard by her palms against his chest. She clamped her wrists over her eyes, desperate not to show her tears.
"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore, Mister."
Irritation prickled him. He'd planned a quick fuck and sleep—what was this drama?
"Pretending I'm fine every day... acting like it doesn't hurt around you... knowing you'll leave someday... I can't take it anymore..."
"If you have something to say, spit it out straight."
Her raw pathos might tug at anyone else's heart, but to him, the frayed sunflower of this battle-weary girl was just another collectible—nothing more, nothing less.
"Auntie wants me to get surgery. Live on an artificial heart until my transplant turn comes... But I hate it. I don't want to writhe in fear of this illness every day anymore, or go to sleep wondering if I'll wake up tomorrow."
A tiny sob. The fragile truth from a girl who only bluffed strength. The pain Seohae had harbored forever, finally voiced. Her wordless whimpers melted into the rain.
"I don't want to fight anymore. I'm so tired... So please, Mister... kill me."
Face streaked with tears, Seohae looked up at him and grabbed his hand, guiding it to wrap around her throat.
"It won't bother you if I die, right? Yeah? Then just kill me..."
She pushed and pulled at her whim. Utterly selfish.
"At least not by this damn disease that's tormented me... Let the person I love kill me..."
Yuchan couldn't judge if her feelings were true love or a desperate lifeline clutched at the cliff's edge. Nor did he care to. All he saw was Seohae—usually so piercingly sharp—laid bare, begging through tears, softer and more vulnerable than ever. Her cracked mind invited him in.
He pulled her into his arms. Even held close, her frail shoulders shook with sobs, rippling through him too.
"I'll kill you."
Poison spread. Through the chink in her death-weakened heart, Yuchan's malice began to creep in.
"But you'll pay me a proper price in return."
At his devilish whisper, soft as honey, Seohae blankly met his eyes.
"Yes..."
2. Yuchan took Seohae to the school they'd sneaked into that afternoon. A guard had been around earlier, but at night, it stood completely empty—no night watch, apparently. A tiny island village with nothing worth stealing anyway. Musing idly, Yuchan vaulted the wall and opened the back gate for her. Over two meters high, but the stone gave plenty of footholds. Seohae snapped out of her daze at the creak of the gate and scurried inside.
"Is this... really okay?"
"Yeah, I confirmed no security."
"That's not what I—"
He knew she meant the legal side but played dumb. Seohae shut her mouth. If he kept his promise to kill her, it was murder anyway—this was petty by comparison.
"Why not just do it in the camper? Why drag me here and make me wear this uniform?"
"My taste. You can indulge me this much, right? I'm willing to become a criminal for you."
"It's not for me."
"I'm still taking the risk, aren't I?"
She gaped at his nonchalant reply. He patted her back and led her into the school building. Even small eateries had security these days—how lax was this place? He picked the central hallway lock to a classroom. The only light was the green emergency exit sign, giving the school a spine-chilling vibe perfect for a guts test.
"Why here? Ugh, it's creepy."
Seohae huddled into herself. Yuchan circled behind and hugged her gently.
"You promised to do whatever I say, right?"
"Not whatever, most things."
"I thought I'd be sad without you. I want to preserve our memories in beautiful photos."
His words could sound romantic, but they twisted Seohae's expression. She caught the lurid desire in his voice.
"Your voice sounds kinda pervy."
"Then tonight, I'll take tons of lewd photos and videos of you here."
Knowing she wouldn't refuse, his hands grew bolder.
"Shall we start slow with a strip show?"