The Weight of a Heart
The breeze stirred Ak Seo-ah’s hair, sending soft strands drifting enough to catch Dang Gangjin’s gaze and hold it there.
Since the day they had first met at the Murim Alliance Headquarters, she had somehow stolen his heart without even trying.
He still remembered her from childhood, when she had marched up to him without hesitation and spoken in that absurdly old-fashioned way.
"I am the eldest daughter of the Shandong Ak Family, Ak Seo-ah. It is a pleasure to meet you here, Dang So-hyeop."
She had been about the same age as Dang Sohye in appearance, so why did she speak like some little old man in a child’s body?
"I am Dang Gangjin, Young Clan Leader of the Sichuan Tang Clan."
He had not liked something about himself back then, for he had answered perfunctorily and turned away as though he wanted no further conversation.
That night, when his father summoned him to his room, he looked at him with an awkward expression.
His father had always been the sort to scold him sternly when he erred and to praise him with a pat on the shoulder when he did well.
So when he saw that unreadable look, Dang Gangjin had felt a flicker of unease, wondering what had happened.
"Gangjin. By any chance, did you meet the Shandong Ak Family’s daughter earlier today?"
The question that came from his father’s mouth was entirely unexpected.
Thinking of the little girl with the elderly way of speaking, Dang Gangjin nodded.
"Yes. We exchanged greetings briefly. But why do you ask...?"
His father gave a long, complicated sigh.
"...Sit down. This is going to take a while."
What on earth had happened to make him react like this?
Without realizing it, Dang Gangjin stiffened, his face hardening.
After a pause, his father looked at him and carefully explained why he had called him there.
"...So now she’s refusing to eat or drink and only cries. Of course, the Shandong Ak Family said they don’t intend to blame you, but in my view, it would be best if you went to see the girl at least once."
He had been stunned.
That child, who had seemed so healthy, had apparently been suffering from an incurable illness only a few years before?
And the very first time she had come to the Central Plains, the brave soul who had stepped up to speak to her had been him?
He had not meant any harm, but if he simply acted as though nothing had happened, the event would become a deep wound in Ak Seo-ah’s heart.
And if that happened, might it not sour the relationship between the clans and the Shandong Ak Family?
"It is my fault. Tomorrow, I will go to her at once and apologize."
"Good. That is the right thing to do. I will speak to Family Head Ak separately."
At the approving light in his father’s eyes, Dang Gangjin bowed his head slightly.
It was not guilt so much as the burden of being the Young Clan Leader.
To fulfill that duty, he had gone to Ak Seo-ah at first light.
---
Back then, who could have imagined he would end up like this?
"Brother, what are you thinking about so intently?"
At Ak Seo-ah’s gentle, smiling eyes, Dang Gangjin gave a faint smile of his own.
"I was remembering the day we first met."
"At the Murim Alliance Headquarters?"
"Yes."
Her eyes curved more sweetly at his answer.
"When I think about it, it really was fortunate. That the first person I met then was you, Brother."
Whenever he thought back on that time, guilt rose in him, yet why did she look so happy?
Ak Seo-ah moved closer, edging quietly to his side.
"If I had not met you then, I probably would not have been able to endure it. So it was fortunate, was it not?"
"..."
It had not been fortunate.
He had known what Ak Jiho was doing to her, and still he had done nothing, afraid of ruining the relationship between their clans.
Dang Gangjin’s expression, gentle only moments ago, visibly stiffened.
When the child named Cheongwol had first come to the Tang Clan and he had heard that she had fought a duel with Ak Jiho, conflicting emotions had surged through him at once.
He had tried clumsily to hide it, but that duel had surely been connected to the matter he had deliberately averted his eyes from.
Relief that Ak Seo-ah would no longer have to endure such horrifying pain.
And misery that he, as the Young Clan Leader, had stood by and watched the misfortune of the woman he loved, hiding behind excuses about duty.
He despised even his own cowardice, and yet Ak Seo-ah carefully took his cold hand in hers.
"Brother."
What a foolish man he was.
He had done nothing wrong, and yet why had he apologized for so long?
Ak Seo-ah glanced up at him sideways.
"I heard that Young Master Seomun Hwi and Sohye may soon be betrothed."
When the name of Seomun Hwi, the very name he had least wanted to hear, came from her lips, Dang Gangjin lowered his eyes and bit his lower lip.
"I’m sorry. I should have told Father earlier that you were in love with Young Clan Leader Seomun. I never expected things to turn out like this. I’ll take responsibility, and once Father returns..."
Before he could even finish, Ak Seo-ah slipped into his arms.
She clutched him tightly, as though refusing to let him retreat another step.
"...Seo-ah!"
Dang Gangjin cried out in alarm, but she had no intention of backing away now either.
"Brother, do you truly want me to end up with Young Master Seomun Hwi?"
As if he could ever want such a thing.
And yet he had no right to say anything at all.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about."
When he kept pretending not to understand, Ak Seo-ah went on.
"When I heard the two of you had discussed marriage, I was really disappointed. Do you know why?"
"...Because you are in love with Young Clan Leader Seomun, are you not?"
Ak Seo-ah shook her head with a bitter look.
"Because I thought you’d run away from me again, Brother. Look at you—you’re comfortable now, so all you can do is say things you don’t mean."
"..."
"Just because I admire heroes, don’t think I’ve become a fool. I’ve known all along that you cared for me."
Hearing Dang Gangjin’s heart thundering in his chest, Ak Seo-ah smiled faintly.
"I know you’re trying. Still... don’t make me wait too long. I think I’m starting to get tired."
---
"Young Clan Leader says it’s late, so he will receive you properly tomorrow."
Hong Chilsong rolled the words delivered by a Tang Clan martial artist around in his mouth as he drank down another cup of wine.
Who could he blame? It was his own fault for showing up unannounced.
Indeed, seeing how the moon had already tilted westward, it was too late an hour for conversation.
Or rather—hadn’t the sunset still been burning when he had spread out the wine table?
Still, the wine tasted good, so what did it matter?
For the past while, he had not even been able to swallow a single sip of water at ease, let alone drink wine because of missions.
As he drank beneath the moon, memories he had tried to smother with drunkenness began to crawl back up to the surface.
"...I never thought even you would try to kill me."
A dear friend, spitting words of accusation while tears of blood ran down his face.
At that sight, Hong Chilsong had dropped his Beggar’s Staff to the ground.
He had come after receiving the alliance lord’s covert orders to spread a net and uproot those who had learned demonic arts.
"Why would you..."
The sense of betrayal had been overwhelming, but when he saw the corpses strewn around them, he could say nothing at all.
However he might have tried to explain, in that man’s eyes he would only ever be the one who had butchered them.
And that was the cruel reality.
So all he could do was kneel and offer his neck.
"...I truly did not know."
He had pursued righteousness and chivalry, walking the proper road, and yet, though deceived, he had still killed people who had done nothing wrong.
Worse still, they had been the family members of the person he had counted as his closest friend.
"I will repay this sin first in hell."
Just as he spoke those words and raised his hand to sever his own throat, a foot shot out of the darkness and smashed into his chest.
"Cough...!"
Stunned and sprawled on the ground, barely able to breathe, he heard a voice scrape over his head like iron on stone.
"If you were truly only deceived, then you must not forget what happened today."
—THUD!
The sound of a blade piercing the earth rang out past his ear.
"Live, and return to the Central Plains. Then I will hunt down every last one of those connected to this matter and make them pay. When that day comes, I will give you the chance to prove your innocence."
Those words became a shackle, and for more than twenty years he had waited for his friend, unable to die.
He had heard that the Tang Clan’s net of heaven and earth had been breached, so he had thought the man might someday truly return to the Central Plains.
And yet here he was, growing old and feeling his strength ebb away, his vision blurring, while the man still had not appeared.
His friend had no children, so there would be no heir to avenge him in his place.
Was he truly meant to bury that day’s events deep in his heart and leave it at that?
To soothe his frustration, Hong Chilsong pushed the cup aside and lifted the wine jar straight to his mouth.
He could not understand why the things he had grown foggy over all these years were so painfully clear tonight.
Was it the drink?
"Kruuuh..."
Hong Chilsong emptied the jar in one go, then wiped the corner of his mouth with his sleeve.
No, that couldn’t be it. I’ve had plenty to drink before and forgotten it just fine.
Still, if his old friend had suddenly come to mind, it was probably because he had met someone who reminded him of that man.
That strangely familiar way of speaking, and those little habits at the table.
The face was nothing alike, but while they talked together, he had felt as if he were sitting with his friend from youth.
Did he say he came from Qinghai? Once you leave Sichuan, Qinghai is right next door...
---