Attachment
At first, it was enough simply to see his sister smile even once more.
That faint smile she always gave him, no matter what he said.
When she laughed, he was happy too. When she was sad, he hurt as well.
And on the days when she writhed in pain, he swung his spear until the calluses on his palms split open.
Because her dimmed eyes, her dried lips, and those tiny hands so thin they seemed little more than bone would not leave his mind, driving him half mad.
---
His sister was crying.
Collapsed on the floor, clutching her cheek, her face stricken with fear.
The one who had made her cry was none other than himself.
The pain in his palm was still fresh and strange.
But his sister must have been just as shocked as he was by that pain.
He could not tell how things had come to this.
Should he kneel right now and beg, saying that he had briefly lost his senses?
His kind sister would surely forgive him, and yet she would never yield her opinion in the end.
In a Central Plains already tearing itself apart as the righteous factions fell into disorder, leaving such a sister alone would only invite disaster. He did not need to see it to know that much.
He swallowed back the words he should have said, and with the feeling of coughing up blood, he forced out cruel things instead.
Was it worse to be struck by her younger sibling, or to have her dream trampled underfoot?
Leaving his sister sprawled on the ground in tears, he finally turned away.
---
Why was it that even in a dream, he had to dream of something like this?
Perhaps because he had accumulated more than a little karma by now.
With that thought, he slowly opened the eyes he had closed, and saw his sister asleep beside him, face down.
It was the first peaceful expression he had seen since the day he began treating her harshly.
Ak Jiho raised a hand, intending to stroke her hair, but a stabbing pain shot through his side and he groaned.
As the memory of being beaten relentlessly near the end of the duel came back to him, a snort of laughter slipped out before he could stop it.
So the one who injured others would be made to suffer the same.
Feeling the old sages had not been wrong after all, he was just about to close his eyes again when—
He met his sister’s gaze. She had not been asleep after all, and was staring at him.
"..."
What could he possibly say now?
When Ak Jiho only looked at her in silence, Ak Seo-ah spoke first.
"...Are you all right?"
This foolish sister. Did she not resent the brother who had tormented her so thoroughly?
"...It hurts. Like I’m going to die."
Yet contrary to what he had expected, what came out of his mouth was a petulance even he could hardly believe.
As soon as she heard that, Ak Seo-ah pressed hard on the bruise that had turned not merely blue but black.
"Ghh...!"
When he groaned at the pain spreading along his spine, a suppressed snicker leaked out beside him.
"Of course it hurts. They said a bone was broken, so you’ll have to stay like this for half a month."
"...How long was I out?"
"Three days."
The young lord of the Shandong Ak Family had not only lost the duel, but had also been unconscious for three whole days.
Before he could even sink into the humiliation of defeat, the terms of the duel came clearly back to him.
If I win, you must sincerely apologize for everything you have done to Seo-ah all this time.
He had thought there could be no woman as strange as his sister, and yet Cheongwol was no less so.
Was there anyone else in the jianghu who would step into a duel so readily for the sake of a friendship barely a month old?
He had never imagined he would lose, but a promise was a promise.
"I have something to..."
Just as he was about to speak with resolve, Ak Seo-ah suddenly poked his cheek.
"...?"
He looked at her, wondering what on earth that was supposed to mean, but she only wore a faint smile.
The same smile she had always shown him as a child.
"You told Cheongwol you would never change your mind, didn’t you?"
"...Yes."
"You already know this, but that’s how I feel too."
Ak Seo-ah’s hand tightened around Ak Jiho’s bandaged one.
The warmth passing from her fingertips felt firmer than words, like resolve made tangible.
"Even when I thought I was going to hurt so badly I’d die, even when I wanted to give up, I kept thinking about it. About the dream of becoming a magnificent hero and standing by your side."
Her eyes met his as she leaned forward slightly, and in that instant his chest tightened with guilt.
"So I..."
Just as his sister had done, Ak Jiho cut her off this time.
"Do whatever you want."
"...Huh?"
Even when she asked again in surprise, his answer did not change.
"Do as you please."
"..."
There was long-accumulated resignation in Ak Jiho’s voice, and something else too—an odd, unnameable relief.
"This duel taught me something. No matter what I do, there are things in this world that won’t go the way I want them to."
Forcing his screaming muscles to move, he reached out and gently covered his sister’s head with his hand.
"...But wherever you go, whatever you do, you’d better remember this."
"...Remember what?"
"If something happens to you."
His low voice slipped quietly into Ak Seo-ah’s ear.
"You...! What nonsense is that!"
Ak Seo-ah sprang up in agitation, but Ak Jiho only gave a faint smile, looking far more at ease.
"It would’ve been nice if things had been like this from the beginning."
---
Why did laughter coming from inside the room make her mood sink?
Cheongwol, who had come to find Ak Seo-ah, could not bring herself to open the door and instead turned away with a stiff face.
How could she forgive so easily the one who had made her suffer so terribly for three or four years?
No—had she perhaps never truly hated him in the first place?
With a bitter heart, Cheongwol descended the stairs, intending to return to her room, when she met the eyes of Jeonghwa, who was looking straight at her from the front.
Startled by the unexpected meeting, she was about to offer a proper greeting when Jeonghwa waved a hand first.
"No need. More to the point, were you not here to see your friend? Why are you coming down like this?"
Since she had been entertaining thoughts too embarrassing to voice before anyone else, Cheongwol hesitated, fidgeting as she answered.
"Let me guess. The young lord has woken up, hasn’t he?"
For someone of the Ami Sect’s level, could reading thoughts really be so easy a skill?
Cheongwol jerked and took a step back, and a teasing smile bloomed at the corners of Jeonghwa’s mouth.
"Be careful. In front of the Buddha, there is nothing one can hide."
Though she had no reason to believe it, Cheongwol still swallowed dryly.
"...Then even if I try to be careful, won’t it still be found out?"
At that, Jeonghwa burst into laughter.
"Goodness, if you take it that seriously, I have nothing left to say."
Then she gestured with her eyes toward the stairs.
"Come along. I’ll hear out your worries."
---
Perhaps it was because Jeonghwa was a practitioner who had taken to heart the teachings of Buddhism, or perhaps it was simply the natural gentleness of her character.
As their conversation went on, Cheongwol felt her mind settling, and before she knew it, she had even blurted out the answer she had been hesitating over.
"...So I just came back down."
Once she said it out loud, the reason sounded more trivial than she had expected, and the tips of her ears heated slightly.
"Am I being narrow-minded?"
She awkwardly scratched her cheek as she asked, but Jeonghwa shook her head.
"Not at all. If you’re friends with a daughter of the Ak Family, it would be only natural to think that way."
For a brief moment, Cheongwol felt relieved that her thoughts were not strange after all, and then immediately asked,
"...Then why did he forgive him so easily?"
Jeonghwa looked as if she were thinking for a moment, then asked in return,
"If you were in your friend’s position, what would you have done?"
"If it were me?"
"Yes. Think of someone precious to you, and consider it carefully."
In Cheongwol’s mind, the face of her beloved grandfather surfaced.
"...I’d probably have been angry. I would have been, but..."
"You’d have forgiven him before long, wouldn’t you?"
Unable to deny it, Cheongwol gave a small nod.
"Yes. How did you know?"
"Think about it. Why were you never able to harden your heart to the end?"
Cheongwol let out a thin sigh and lowered her head slightly.
"Because whenever I got angry, the other person would look sad. So... it hurt too much to keep being angry."
"Exactly for that reason."
Jeonghwa lifted a hand and gently patted Cheongwol on the back.
"It feels unfair, doesn’t it? After all that beating and oppression instead of care, they still end up forgiven so easily."
"...Yes."
"And yet what can one do? The harsher you are, the more your own heart aches. To cherish someone is precisely that. It is the most unfair thing in the world. That is why we call it attachment."
Attachment.
Cheongwol let the corners of her mouth rise slightly, her heart lighter than before.
"So from the start, understanding was impossible. I’m not Seo-ah."
"Indeed. Though I say this, the Ak Family twins do seem a rather unusual pair, don’t they? Would you not agree?"
At Jeonghwa’s joke, Cheongwol grinned as though she had been waiting for it.
"The way they talk, you’d think they’re the only ones in the world with a story to tell. It’s ridiculous how seriously they act like tragic figures. As if they even know what real tragedy is."
The two of them bent over with laughter for a long while, as if they might run out of breath.
It was a self-mocking joke, but laughing made her feel much lighter.
"Ah, but I do have one thing I’d like to ask. Would that be all right?"
After catching her breath, Jeonghwa looked straight into Cheongwol’s eyes.
"Yes. Please, go ahead."
"Do you perhaps... have some connection to the Dang Clan?"
"The Dang Clan...?"
The keepsake her mother had left her came to mind, but since there was no direct connection, Cheongwol shook her head.
"No. I’m from Qinghai Province."
"I see."
"Yes. Why do you ask?"
Jeonghwa tilted her head, looking somewhat uncertain.
"You reminded me of someone who was once in the Dang Family. If that’s not the case, don’t worry about it."
---