How to Turn Off Heart Eyes

I had to sit next to Kang Taehyun.

Normally, that would have been nothing.

We'd been stuck together since middle school, and whenever a seat opened up at a café or a bar, I drifted to his side without thinking.

Setting aside the brief period we actually dated, it was a distance so familiar there was no reason for it to bother me at all.

Today, though, that familiarity was the problem.

When I opened the lecture hall door, Taehyun had already claimed the inner seat. When I stopped in my tracks, he set his coffee down on the desk and raised an eyebrow.

"Why aren't you sitting?"

"You go sit over there today."

When I jerked my chin toward an empty seat in the back, Taehyun gave me a look of pure disbelief.

"You sit here every single day, and now suddenly this?"

"Not today."

"Then you move."

Smooth talker, this one.

The moment I actually moved to take another seat, the professor walked in.

"Don't change seats today. We're continuing with last week's groups."

Of course.

I stared at the ceiling for a second, then finally dragged the chair out next to Taehyun.

The instant I sat down, my phone buzzed briefly.

"...Insane."

Taehyun turned his head, maybe having heard me.

"If that was aimed at me, I'm offended."

"It wasn't aimed at you, so look forward."

I opened my laptop, doing my best to act like nothing was wrong.

It didn't work.

The fact that Taehyun's body heat was right there was already too vivid.

The sound of fabric brushing against his pants every time he moved his arm, the hand moving his mouse, the single bite he took on his coffee straw, the short breath he let out as he leaned back in his chair.

Things that would normally have dissolved into background noise all sounded like they were happening right next to my ear.

My body was the same.

Even the slightest brush of fabric inside my bra made me unnecessarily aware of it, and a strange heat was building in my lower belly.

Just sitting still, I could feel myself getting gradually damp inside my underwear, and my thighs tensed up.

Nothing had even happened yet.

Taehyun wasn't touching me at all.

That made it more annoying.

The professor's voice echoed from the front of the lecture hall.

I looked down at my laptop screen and copied the slide title word for word.

[Brand Identity and Visual Consistency]

One line.

Then nothing else registered.

Taehyun reached his arm out beside me.

"You wrote that date wrong."

His finger pointed at the bottom right of my laptop screen.

His hoodie sleeve brushed across the back of my hand.

That was all it was.

And yet my shoulder flinched.

A short shiver ran down my spine.

I froze in place.

Taehyun withdrew his hand and studied my face.

"What's wrong? Are you actually sick?"

"Just don't touch me today."

My voice came out sharper than I intended.

Taehyun didn't joke around.

"Okay. I won't touch you."

That was a relief.

The problem was the system.

"Ah—."

A sound escaped me before I could stop it.

The professor paused mid-sentence.

"Seo Yerim?"

Every gaze from the front of the room swung around at once.

I straightened up immediately.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"I thought you had a question."

"No. Please continue."

As the professor resumed his explanation, Taehyun lowered his voice beside me.

"You're really okay, right?"

No playfulness in his voice this time.

I let out a short breath.

"I'll explain later. Don't talk to me right now."

Taehyun looked at me for a moment, then nodded.

In that gap, I pulled out my phone.

At this point, I had no choice but to search.

The Defeated Heroine Gallery.

Searching for this stuff during class wasn't exactly normal, but once your hair had turned pink, debating whether you were normal was already too late.

I pressed the write button.

My username was still auto-filled.

[Seo Yerim]

I typed a title.

[Anyone know how to turn off heart eyes]

I kept the body as short as possible.

[Lenses don't work.]

[Rubbing my eyes doesn't work.]

[No idea how to turn off the system either.]

[Something like Continuous Sensitivity or whatever turned on, and I want to turn that off too.]

Post.

It took less than ten seconds for the view count to start climbing.

I hit downvote immediately.

Below that, the first actually useful comment appeared.

Distance.

The moment I read the comment, I scooted my chair sideways.

Screeeech.

Taehyun turned his head.

"What are you doing now?"

"Experiment."

"Is something coming at me from you?"

"Just stay still."

After moving the chair another thirty centimeters or so, I checked the system.

The effect was immediate.

The heat that had been pressing on my lower belly eased a little, and the fabric sensations that had been so overwhelmingly vivid a moment ago became less distracting.

I was saved.

My fingers stopped.

"How do they know that."

When I muttered it without thinking, Taehyun tried to look at my screen.

I flipped my phone face-down immediately.

"Don't look."

"You're the one muttering something that sounds like my name."

"It's gallery stuff."

"That weird place?"

"Yeah. They told me to stay away from you."

Taehyun glanced between the chair I'd moved and himself.

"Why would they tell you to stay away from me?"

"I said I'd explain later."

This time he didn't push it.

Instead, he nudged his own chair a little further in the opposite direction.

Without a word.

I checked the system message and shot Taehyun a sideways glance.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠That bastard, knowing nothing, still had a habit of stopping the moment I said I didn't like something.

He'd always been that way.

Which made it more annoying.

It made it hard to dislike him.

By the time class ended, I'd absorbed less than half the lecture.

In exchange, I'd learned a few things about Continuous Sensitivity.

The closer, the worse.

Direct contact made it worse still.

Voices and gazes had a weaker effect too.

And the more consciously aware I was of the person, the more vivid my reactions seemed to get.

As we stepped out of the lecture hall, Taehyun asked casually.

"Let's eat. You've only had coffee since earlier."

"I'm fine."

"Why. Gonna fill up on cigarettes again?"

"I just... don't have money."

I answered without thinking, then shut my mouth.

Taehyun stopped walking too.

"Hold on. Did you just say you don't have money?"

"I said I'm not hungry."

"That's a completely different statement."

I headed for the stairs first.

Taehyun followed.

"Your card got declined?"

I didn't answer.

"Yerim. I'm asking if it actually got declined."

"I won't die."

"That's not the same as being okay."

Halfway down the stairs, my phone rang.

Of all things, the credit card company.

I swiped the notification away immediately.

Too late.

Taehyun saw it.

With that expression, I was certain.

"How much is it?"

"Why are you curious about someone else's card bill?"

"I'm not saying I'll pay it for you. You should at least know what the number is."

"I'll handle it myself."

"And that's how your card got declined?"

"Just this month."

Taehyun looked at me for a moment, then asked.

"What about your overdraft account?"

My feet stopped at the word overdraft.

"How do you know about that?"

"Two months ago you got drunk, left your banking app open, and passed out."

"You looked through my phone?"

"The screen was on, lying face-up on your face. I couldn't not see it."

I had no memory of that.

I remembered Taehyun dragging me back to my studio that night, and passing out on the sofa.

Opening the banking app, though, I genuinely couldn't recall.

"How much did you see?"

"I think it was a little over four hundred thousand back then."

It was over four hundred ninety thousand now.

When I avoided his eyes, Taehyun didn't press further and just sighed.

"So it grew."

"...A little."

"It hasn't passed five hundred, has it?"

"It hasn't."

Not a lie.

It was four hundred ninety.

Taehyun laughed in sheer disbelief.

"So four-something mid-range."

"Are you a mind reader?"

"You avert your eyes the second you start lying."

"Fuck."

Not wanting to keep talking, I went down the stairs first.

Once we were outside the building, I pulled out a cigarette.

"I'm smoking this and going home."

"What about food?"

"I've got ramen."

"You had ramen yesterday too."

"Do I need to file a report on what I eat?"

The moment I flicked the lighter, Taehyun plucked the cigarette out of my hand.

I looked down at my empty hand, then up at him.

"Give it back."

"Eat first."

"You're buying? No thanks."

"Why not."

"It'll feel like you're pitying a debtor."

The playfulness drained out of Taehyun's face.

He thought for a moment, then set his phone down on my palm instead of the cigarette.

It was the calculator screen.

"Then I'll lend you the money. You can pay back the meal cost later—for now, just write this stuff down."

"Write what."

"Card bill, overdraft, loans. Rough numbers are fine."

I pushed the phone right back.

"No. It's my money, why are you getting on my case."

"If it were only your money, I wouldn't go this far."

Taehyun paused for a beat, then added.

"You've borrowed from me before, remember."

That I couldn't argue with.

A hundred and fifty thousand won.

I borrowed it last winter, said it was urgent.

Told him I'd pay it back when my next modeling fee came in.

And then forgot.

No.

Pretended to forget.

"I'll pay that back."

"When."

"I have a shoot next week. When the money comes in."

"Isn't that money already spoken for by the card bill?"

Accurate.

Annoyingly so.

I tucked the cigarette back into the pack.

"So what. Are you a financial advisor now or something?"

"No. But I'm probably better at arithmetic than you."

"I'm a design major."

"What does your major have to do with counting money?"

"Says the humanities guy."

"That humanities guy is calculating your interest right now."

I shut my mouth.

Taehyun didn't lecture me further.

He didn't grab my arm and drag me, either.

He just started walking toward the gimbap place by the school gates, then looked back after a few steps.

"I'll lend ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you the meal money. I'm not paying off your debts either. Let's just sort out the numbers while we eat."

"I said no."

"Then how much do you have on you right now?"

I didn't answer.

Thirty-seven thousand won in my account.

Twelve thousand won cash in my wallet.

One more automatic payment scheduled this week.

Taehyun seemed to get a rough answer just from looking at my face.

"Let's go."

Strangely, it didn't sound like a command this time.

Just something an old friend was saying.

But of course, the system had to react.

Even at that distance, his name popping up was irritating.

I stood there a few more seconds, then finally followed.

"I'm only eating one gimbap roll."

"Eat two."

"One."

"Ramen too."

"Never seen someone pick out menu items while borrowing money to eat."

Taehyun laughed.

"Now you're acting a bit like yourself."

That remark made me shut my mouth for no good reason.

Sitting in the corner of the gimbap restaurant, I ended up writing the numbers down.

Taehyun's phone, notes app.

Taehyun added the last line himself.

"Hey. Why is that on there."

"It's a debt, isn't it."

"It's embarrassing, take it off."

"Then pay it back."

"...I'll kill you."

Once the numbers were all gathered on one screen, I felt strange.

Viewed separately, each one could be brushed off somehow.

The card bill was next month's problem.

The overdraft was for later.

The student loans were for after graduation.

The microloans were automatic payments.

That was how it worked—push each one back, one at a time.

But with everything stuck together on a single screen, there was no room for excuses.

Taehyun wasn't laughing either.

"How much of this went to Toto and gacha?"

"Not all of it. I eat, I buy clothes."

"You do fitting model work and get sponsorships too."

"There are things I want to buy."

Taehyun looked down at the notes app for a moment, then slid the phone toward me.

"When your next modeling fee comes in, you pick what to cut first."

I looked up, caught off guard.

"Weren't you supposed to decide for me?"

"It's your money and your debt. I'll just do the math."

I'd expected him to nag, to tell me to delete the Toto app, to force me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to spend money somewhere specific.

Instead, Taehyun picked up a piece of gimbap and said it like it was nothing.

"At the end of the day, you're the one who has to pay it off."

That line stuck with me, strangely.

My debt.

Numbers I had made.

Which meant numbers I would have to shrink myself.

A system notification floated up at the edge of my vision.

I froze for a moment, chopsticks in hand.

Taehyun asked.

"What popped up this time?"

"...Nothing."

This time, I really wanted to let it slide.

But my phone rang again.

Not the card company, not the system.

The Sports Toto app.

Taehyun's eyes and mine locked onto the notification at the same time.

Very, very slowly, I flipped the phone face-down.

Too late.

Taehyun stopped chewing his gimbap and looked at me.

"Don't tell me you were planning to bet today too."

"I haven't yet."

"That's not an answer."

Taehyun didn't even sigh.

Instead, he added a new item to the last line of the notes app.

Then he turned the screen toward me.

"Nothing big. Just start with this. One week."

"I don't want to."

"I haven't even told you to yet."

"Your face is telling me to."

Taehyun laughed.

"I thought my face couldn't talk."

He'd thrown my own words ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠right back at me.

I glared at Taehyun while chewing my gimbap.

At that exact moment, the system interjected with exquisite timing.

"Fuck."

Taehyun stopped mid-sip of water and looked at me.

"What's the system saying this time?"

I looked down at the screen.

I hated the system, and I hated Taehyun too.

But there was something I hated more.

Just this once,

I found it a little hard to curse that 0% for being wrong.