Chapter 621
Chapter 621
Ryu Cheong-woo looked at the internet for the first time in a while.
It had been a few days since Park Moon-dae caught him sinking into a hole of self-monitoring while he was supposed to be resting.
The reason for checking wasn't particularly pleasant. His privacy had been breached while he was resting; someone had leaked footage of him at an archery range and posted it online.
However...
It was just as Park Moon-dae had said.
Comments filled with "no big deal" admiration were trailing down the screen.
Instead of words like "He was a national athlete, so why is he like that now?" there were pure exclamations and expressions of disbelief.
A strange sensation washed over him.
Seeing a place that used to be filled only with comments like "Just take a full rest" or "It's right to quit instead of enduring it" now packed with pure awe, Ryu Cheong-woo closed and opened his eyes.
A thought suddenly occurred to him.
It felt like this.
Originally, he had always lived amidst such reactions.
He had never placed great meaning on it or felt particularly proud, but the familiar environment brought back the feelings of that time.
The self he was before things turned out like this.
He remembered his routine attitude and biological rhythm from back then.
That was why, when Park Moon-dae suggested, "Do you want to try slowly participating in the schedule?" he had reflexively answered as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
And now.
"We're getting off!"
Ryu Cheong-woo was indeed participating normally in TeSTAR's stage schedule.
As soon as the van, which had been traveling since dawn, arrived at its destination, they moved busily into a studio where preparations were already complete.
"We'll begin filming now~!"
"Yes!"
The first schedule today was a famous talk show on WeTube.
No member went out of their way to ask him special questions or look after him with excessive care. Rather, he was given the duties and rights of the group leader, just like always.
"Um, Cheong-woo hyung, should we... go say hello over here?"
"Ah, it's fine. You don't have to."
"Okay!"
Ryu Cheong-woo handled the tasks reflexively.
Things that felt awkward when he just thought about them were resolving themselves naturally once he was actually in the situation.
Then came the stage.
"I'm sorry, but we don't have many cameras... To provide individual fancams, we'll basically need to film three or four times."
The stage production staff member said with a worried face.
"Would that be alright? Ah, I'm so sorry..."
"Hey, what's there to be sorry about~?"
"Situations like this happen!"
This time, too, no member said to Ryu Cheong-woo, "Hyung, if filming multiple times is a burden, tell us now..."
They simply said this:
"Hyung, are we going with this?"
Then all he had to do was answer.
"Yeah."
And the stage began.
Just like always.
Then all he had to do was move.
Ah.
[Bad feeling!
Take it with you too]
That day, Ryu Cheong-woo handled the stage without any issues.
"Cool!"
"Ah~ we're looking pretty good today, aren't we? Hyung, look at this!"
Catching his breath, Ryu Cheong-woo looked at his image within the captured camera data.
Dressed in a neat checkered suit, the Ryu Cheong-woo on the screen was passionately dancing and singing.
[Umm- um, Dduru- du
Even if the sun sets and the moonlight falls
Feelings I can't forget]
He didn't feel anything particularly awkward or that his skills were lacking.
...I'm doing well.
Was this how it felt?
"..."
"Hyung-nim, that last one came out really cool!"
In the end, Ryu Cheong-woo nodded quietly.
But to be honest, it wasn't always a success.
Simply challenging himself didn't solve everything like magic.
"..."
"Director, let's do it one more time!"
After that, whenever Ryu Cheong-woo performed the stage about five or six times, he would inevitably mess up the choreography for his left arm once or react late by force.
It wasn't as intense as the first time he had frozen on stage, unable to do anything, but it hit him with at least half that impact.
However, the members' reactions were different from before.
"There are days like that."
They didn't pretend to be okay or come running in a panic.
Nor did they try excessively hard to act like it was nothing.
"We have time, so do you want to rest for about ten minutes?"
They showed consideration on a realistic level.
"Hyung, if our stamina hits rock bottom, you humanly have to buy us beef. Seriously."
They even grumbled about being tired.
That actually made him feel better.
"That's not hard."
"Oooooh!"
And on the first day filming was delayed, the members really did join forces to get him to treat them to beef.
In a light, non-fatal way.
Ryu Cheong-woo's experience was being painted over in a brighter direction.
Of course, before going to bed, the experiences of failure he faced today would tiresomely encroach upon his thoughts and senses.
—What if I never recover more than this, no matter what I do?
That assumption alone made him conscious of his arm again.
Ryu Cheong-woo still didn't want to chatter about such things to the members.
However, whenever there was a live broadcast schedule he couldn't join, Ryu Cheong-woo went to counseling instead and talked about what had happened.
"If I keep stopping once every five or six times like this..."
"Hmm... I see."
And then he heard something surprising.
"But Mr. Cheong-woo, how about we actually try reducing the medication?"
"Pardon?"
The suggestion was to make the prescription weaker. Even though Ryu Cheong-woo felt the symptoms were still there.
"I... thought you would recommend increasing it instead."
"Of course, just as you take cold medicine when you have a cold, it's natural to take medicine for the heart when the heart hurts," the counselor said softly. "But from what I see, you are recovering very quickly, Mr. Cheong-woo."
"...!!"
Ryu Cheong-woo had escaped the numbness of daily depression, and he wasn't in a state of panic from irrational anxiety.
The counselor, explaining kindly, reminded him:
"Right now, you are worrying about your work from a very realistic emotional standpoint."
"..."
That he was recovering well.
"At this point, a different feeling might be more important."
"What kind of..."
"The feeling that 'I can do it.'"
The counselor spoke firmly.
"Self-efficacy. You are originally someone whose self-confidence is much stronger than the average person's."
"...Me?"
"Of course."
At that moment, a sentence flashed through his mind.
—Because you're someone who's originally good at everything, Hyung.
The words he had heard from Park Moon-dae.
"You believed that you could do anything if you put in the effort. And look again. A tendency to not fear danger, pursuing distant goals, a challenging nature..."
"..."
"In fact, you have the self-assurance that you won't lose in most environments."
Ryu Cheong-woo listened to those words in a slightly dazed state.
Was I like that?
"That's why I'm suggesting we reduce the medicine. So that you don't mistakenly think everything is thanks to the medication."
"..."
"So that you can conclude that you achieved it entirely on your own."
In the end, Ryu Cheong-woo nodded at the suggestion to reduce the dosage and types of medicine and left.
But he remained a bit dazed.
Hmm.
Am I that kind of person?
In the first place, he had never tried to deeply reflect on "Who am I?" to discover some "ultimate self."
He had never felt the need or the interest to do so.
If Bae Se-jin had heard this, he might have been shocked, saying, "There are people who have no interest at all...?" but human tendencies were naturally diverse.
Furthermore, Ryu Cheong-woo hadn't completely escaped from fragmentary doubts, resignation, or symptoms of anxiety.
After all, no one had even suggested he do a live stage yet.
"Hyung, again!"
"Yeah."
After finishing a private pre-recording, he would sometimes reflexively check the fans' reactions.
To see if they still wished for him to rest.
"Hand over your smartphone."
"..."
Ryu Cheong-woo obediently placed his smartphone on Park Moon-dae's palm.
But he couldn't help adding a word.
"Then you don't look at it either, Moon-dae."
"I won't."
Liar.
With the situation turning out so unexpectedly, there was no way someone like him wouldn't look.
He's definitely going to look while thinking to himself, 'This much should be fine.'
Ryu Cheong-woo wanted to advise Park Moon-dae instead, but for some reason, a suitable attitude didn't come to mind.
...How did I used to do it before?
He was sure he used to speak quite plausibly and firmly.
"..."
He definitely felt better than his lowest point. Yet, where he stood felt ambiguous and unsatisfying.
As if his prime had passed and he had degenerated, with no way to ever recover...
"..."
He stood up, feeling a slightly bitter taste in his mouth.
Let's go to rehab.
While Ryu Cheong-woo was spending an imperfect week like that...
A piece of news TeSTAR had been waiting for began to be reported extensively.
"It's out."
It was VTIC's staggering first-week results.
They sold a hell of a lot.
I fell silent looking at VTIC's album sales index.
[VTIC | Non-Cryptid (Full Album) | 2,931,713]
Nearly 3 million copies.
No matter how much inflation had hit the album market, it was a staggering sales figure.
The prevailing theory was that fans had pushed an extra 100,000 copies at the last minute to try and hit the 3 million mark...
Still, look at those fcking units.*
I clicked my tongue looking at the group order receipts posted on overseas sites.
Of course, TeSTAR had also hit a career high.
[TeSTAR | Badtime (Full Album) | 2,083,375]
Even we were in the 2 million range.
Unlike VTIC, our fans had succeeded in the additional push to surpass 2 million copies.
If the Ryu Cheong-woo issue hadn't blown up, both the members and the company would have been jumping for joy and saying thanks a few days ago.
However, thanks to this, the people on the internet were going even crazier.
I don't know why, but the internet was crawling with people who had self-inserted into VTIC and were feeling a vicarious high.
Though there were some chillingly insightful comments as well.
"..."
No, f*ck, I didn't do that for those bastards' benefit.
Of course, that comment was being pummeled by people saying, "How dare you imply VTIC just got lucky?"
The ones who latch on based on results have really latched on hard.
That said, it's not like we were just one-sidedly getting beaten up.
On the other hand, this was happening:
Yes. We reclaimed the number one spot on the digital charts.
As expected, VTIC's song didn't quite get the public's pick.
I should attribute this glory to the composer, Kim Rae-bin.
So it turned into a chaotic mess over who actually won again...
"Hmm, it is a bit close."
"Yeah."
If we just left it alone without thinking, we would be pushed back as time went on.
Because VTIC has a lot of bait left.
For instance, in the midst of this, it seemed like the VTIC guys, promoting for the first time in a year and a half, were receiving massive love calls.
"Coachella."
"Huh?"
It was news of an appearance at a US festival.
"Isn't that in April?"
"I guess it can be postponed. Natural disasters, epidemics... things like that."
"Ah."
The members clicked their tongues as they watched.
"Wow, but it's only September and news of the booking is already popping up?"
A K-pop singer appearing as a headliner at a major festival that's popular in the English-speaking world!
The fact that public opinion is easily influenced by such things was also a negative factor.
Fame breeds fame, and popularity breeds popularity.
You never know what will blow up.
The rival is still powerful, and as is always the case in this industry, nothing is certain.
Of course, does that mean we were just sitting back and leaving it to luck? Not exactly.
"It's here."
"Hmm?"
I smirked.
"We have to go out for what we need to go out for."
The booking we were negotiating had been finalized.
"We're going to the Glastonbury Festival!"
"Ohhhhhh!"
Amidst Cha Yu-jin's cheers, Bae Se-jin asked with trembling pupils.
"What... what is that?"
Seon A-hyun raised his hand with a flushed face.
"Ah, it's a... music festival hosted in the UK! Not only is it famous, but many historically significant people have performed there..."
Seon A-hyun explained enthusiastically, mentioning that since there are also circus and ballet performances, he had gone there as part of a program during his time studying abroad.
"Oooooh."
"Hearing it like this, it really is a meaningful and cool festival!"
Of course, Keun Se-jin was already looking at the lineup from the founding year to the most recent.
"Wow, looking at the lineup again, it's incredible."
"They're all people we know."
Beside the guy who was clicking his tongue at the formidable headliners, Bae Se-jin asked quietly.
"Then there's almost no K-pop?"
"Even if there were, they weren't idol groups."
He said it was mainly indie bands or a few artists famous for their musicality.
Well, this seems to be a festival famous for having plenty to see even if it's not the main stage...
I smirked.
"Still, we're probably the first to be booked for the main stage."
[That's f*cking awesome.]
"Ha... that's really cool."
I planned to use this to counter the buzz in the second and third weeks.
"There's a little over two weeks left."
"Ooh..."
However, if there was an unexpected variable...
It was the fact that it hadn't been decided yet whether Ryu Cheong-woo would sit out or participate in this massive live stage.
"..."
I deliberately didn't look back at Ryu Cheong-woo, who was sitting quietly.
Since it was something he should decide as he wished, showing excessive concern would actually be poison.
Haven't we already seen it?
If he decides to do it, we just have to push him.
Ryu Cheong-woo joining.
That was the most urgent concern and variable.
...Until another article popped up in the evening.
"VTIC... is said to be appearing at Glastonbury."
"Huh...?"
"They're even the headliners."
"..."
These bastards really have a talent for pissing people off. Seriously.