Chapter 527
Chapter 527
The morning the teaser was released.
Kim Rae-bin called the members into the living room and stood before them with a solemnity usually reserved for New Year’s greetings to one's elders.
Park Moon-dae looked him over, feeling somewhat like a parent or relative waiting to receive a school report card.
‘Good grief.’
Kim Rae-bin looked utterly drained, the fatigue of not sleeping properly for the past few weeks etched into his face.
Moon-dae spoke up casually.
“…Should we talk after you get some sleep first?”
“If you are suggesting that out of consideration for me, I am fine. I would like to say what I have to say first.”
Kim Rae-bin answered firmly, then squeezed his eyes shut and shouted.
“First of all, I am sorry!”
“…??”
‘Is he apologizing for making the trailer too good and being the only one in it?’
‘…Is he apologizing for hiding his skills when he could have made something like this all along?’
Absurd interpretations flashed through the members' minds, but they all discarded them simultaneously.
As the members decided to just offer him kind smiles, Kim Rae-bin slowly continued his explanation.
“A lot of my personal sentiments were reflected in this teaser.”
They knew that.
“However, this teaser is a representative work that introduces TeSTAR’s new album. It was not my personal project.”
The members realized what Kim Rae-bin was trying to say.
—It’s our album, but I’m sorry for filling it with only my story!
“I did create a connection to the album. However, I failed to systematically report what symbols and metaphors I used during the creative process.”
Kim Rae-bin swallowed hard and spoke with conviction.
“I felt I absolutely had to apologize for that….”
Then, he bowed his head slightly.
Before a brief silence could even settle, someone cut in immediately.
“Kim Rae-bin, you dummy! Sit down already!”
“…?!”
By the time he snapped out of it, he was sitting on the living room rug with his back against the sofa.
“Rae-bin, you’re overthinking it~”
“Exactly. You made it so well, too.”
Warm chiding followed, devoid of any blame. Kim Rae-bin reflexively accepted the honey tea Bae Se-jin handed him with a blunt expression.
The person sitting on the sofa slowly patted his back.
It was Park Moon-dae.
“Even if you don’t explain it in detail, we can tell the teaser and the album are well-connected. It’s an album we made together, after all.”
He continued calmly.
“In the first place, we monitored and gave feedback on all the storyboards and the progress you made. You know that, right?”
“…Yes.”
“Right. So don’t have second thoughts about something that was already confirmed and moved forward.”
He seemed to hesitate for a moment before adding,
“…The view count is great, too, so just enjoy it a little.”
As he said this, Park Moon-dae wore a faint smile.
Kim Rae-bin nodded, fighting back the urge to let his eyes well up.
“Yes.”
However, there was a secret.
In truth, he had vaguely expected and hoped the members would react this way.
Through years of laughing and crying together, he had learned firsthand that his teammates were not the type to scold or blame him.
‘I said it even though I knew.’
It was because he wanted this reaction.
The memories of Steer that had flooded in like a deluge had left a deep, almost traumatic mark, leaving him hypersensitive to situations that reminded him of those memories.
Specifically, to criticism and blame.
To break the cycle of finding reasons to be blamed and coming up with logic to justify it no matter what he did, Kim Rae-bin needed a counterexample.
He wanted to confirm that such things did not happen in reality.
“You worked hard. Good job, Rae-bin.”
The attempt was a resounding success, and Kim Rae-bin was finally able to escape the premonition that had been gripping him for the past few weeks.
His eyes felt hot, and his heart felt light.
He gripped the honey tea tightly.
“Rae-bin, do you… like the teaser?”
“Honestly, even the creator must think it looks cool~ How do you feel about it!”
“That is….”
Now, without any more worries, Kim Rae-bin could take the question at face value, think it over, and give an answer.
“…It was a relief. Because I was able to organize and implement the mental images I felt.”
It wasn't so much about the teaser itself, but the feelings he had while making it.
He had already debuted as TeSTAR and experienced numerous successes. Therefore, rationally, he could refute every instance of self-abuse from his Steer days with counterexamples.
But he could understand why his past self during the Steer days had accepted such malicious and borderline sophistical logic.
It made his heart ache.
Because they were the same person.
“It’s embarrassing, but… honestly, this teaser was a song I made to comfort myself.”
The surroundings grew a bit quiet.
Kim Rae-bin lowered his head slightly.
“Since this isn't a story that's been made public, I thought there might be an issue with its mass appeal, as it’s somewhat ambiguous and open to various interpretations….”
“Nope!”
The concluding phrase, ‘I tried my best to compensate for that,’ was cut short.
“Dummy, it’s fun because the interpretations are all different! That’s why it was cool. [That teaser was literally cool!]”
Kim Rae-bin looked at Cha Yu-jin with a dazed face.
To think he could be called a dummy by Cha Yu-jin and not feel bad about it!
And….
‘Is he serious?’
It’s more fun because there’s no definitive answer to what I’m trying to say?
As if answering that thought and supplementing Cha Yu-jin’s words, Park Moon-dae continued.
“Yeah. Because people will interpret and understand it in their own way, based on what they know and have experienced.”
Park Moon-dae, swallowing the thought that it would also make for good viral marketing for the sake of his conscience, nodded.
“…And millions of people have already watched that teaser. Among them, there are bound to be people who understood the teaser exactly as you intended.”
Those words resonated deeply.
Kim Rae-bin naturally began to briefly imagine the scene.
Someone agonizing over blame and criticism.
The scene where that person happens to see the teaser he made, finds the hidden story, and feels empathy and comfort.
The scene where they think, ‘This is my story.’
Soon, with a slightly choked-up voice, he nodded.
“Yes….”
It was a feeling he wouldn't have experienced if he had fretted over reassembling the work so the public could fully understand it.
Kim Rae-bin made a fresh vow to himself.
—Take it into account, but don't be swayed by it.
It felt like his mind had been cleared!
He answered firmly with a clear spirit.
“Thank you!”
“For what.”
Lee Se-jin wrapped up the situation with a laugh.
“Now, since such a cool trailer came out for our album, shall we have a toast?”
“Uh-huh, sounds good…!”
The members nodded and poured whatever drinks they wanted, from cold water to raisin tree tea, to set the mood.
Bae Se-jin began to talk about the Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass references he found in the teaser, and Lee Se-jin introduced a WeTube video of a fan’s interpretation.
Kim Rae-bin took it all in seriously, yet joyfully.
It was the same daily life he had experienced for several years.
‘It’s nice.’
In that space, Kim Rae-bin regained a deep sense of stability.
Over the past few weeks, he had succeeded in sublimating overflowing pain into provocative inspiration.
While that stimulation provided the impetus for creation, one could not churn out creative work endlessly amidst constant stimulation. One would become exhausted and depleted before then.
Periods of stability and recovery were also necessary for what came next.
Kim Rae-bin had finally reached such a mental rest.
‘I’m grateful….’
He let go of his emotions and finally smiled with a light heart.
And then he fainted.
“…?! Rae-bin??”
“Ooooooh, Kim Rae-bin!”
As the tension relaxed, the aftereffects of pulling all-nighters came crashing down.
One could call it a happy fainting spell.
“Oh….”
“Cha Yu-jin. You take the legs. I’ll take the head.”
“Moon-dae Moon-dae, you should just rest too.”
Kim Rae-bin, who had immediately entered a state of deep sleep, was carried to bed by the members who had scrambled to their feet.
It was only ten days before the release of the new album.
“…….”
And at this point, Park Moon-dae made a certain resolution while holding one of Kim Rae-bin’s arms.
Kim Rae-bin was submerged in a peaceful unconsciousness.
He was having a vague dream with a warm and pleasant feeling. He thought it would be wonderful to just sleep deeply like this and wake up much later, the thought echoing softly and pleasantly in his mind without even being formed into words….
Then, a low voice was heard, like a splash of cold water.
“You awake?”
Grandmother!
Kim Rae-bin, crying out for his guardian unlike his usual self, snapped his eyes open and met the blunt gaze of Park Moon-dae.
The older brother, whose expression perfectly suited his nickname 'Tibetan fox,' nodded toward him and stood up.
‘Huh…?’
Looking again, the older brother was dressed to go out, wearing a fleece jacket.
“Are you going somewhere…?”
“Yeah. To the salon. A promotional WeTube channel was scheduled.”
Come to think of it, the comeback was right around the corner!
Kim Rae-bin finally snapped out of it properly and scrambled to follow them out to see them off.
‘Just when… did I fall asleep??’
He felt like his head was spinning!
However, the three older brothers, who had finished preparing in an instant, waved with a smile and left.
Park Moon-dae, Seon A-hyun, and Lee Se-jin.
They were the three same-age members who were good for talking about their chemistry on broadcasts.
“H-Have a safe trip…!”
“We’ll make sure to promote the album properly~”
Click.
The front door closed briskly.
And Kim Rae-bin was left standing blankly in the entryway.
“…….”
Who… should he ask about this situation?
It was then.
Tap, tap.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. Kim Rae-bin quickly turned his head.
Bae Se-jin was standing there with a serious face.
“Uh, hmph, let’s eat.”
“Yes….”
Kim Rae-bin answered reflexively and followed him to the dining table.
To his surprise, food was already laid out there.
‘Chicken Soup….’
A white soup dish was served on a plate.
And there was only one person in this team who made this.
‘Cha Yu-jin!’
Indeed.
However, instead of adding gochujang to make it like braised spicy chicken this time, Cha Yu-jin had made a traditional soup using his mother’s recipe.
“Bon appétit.”
Shrugging his shoulders, Cha Yu-jin sat at the table, tossing out the idiom for ‘Enjoy your meal.’ Kim Rae-bin forgot his questions in the face of such naturalness and brought a spoonful of soup to his mouth.
The reason it felt somewhat more familiar than before was….
‘Ah.’
Kim Rae-bin realized.
It was a taste he had occasionally eaten during his Steer days.
‘Come to think of it, Cha Yu-jin used to cook often back then….’
Unlike now, where they had a company that provided staff to take care of them and members who were good at cooking, back then they either ordered delivery or took turns cooking once in a while.
At the faint memory that suddenly surfaced, Kim Rae-bin unconsciously looked around and realized.
Only the members who had been in Steer together were sitting at this table.
Coincidentally.
“Is it good? Do you remember eating this before?”
Cha Yu-jin even asked him outright.
For a moment, a brief silence passed.
And Bae Se-jin was the first to speak cautiously.
“…I don’t have any memory of eating it. No, well… I did eat what you made last time when you lost your memory.”
“That makes sense. Yu-jin started cooking more than a year after our debut.”
It was after you left.
Ryu Cheong-woo didn't explicitly add those words, but everyone understood the underlying meaning.
Cha Yu-jin shrugged and spoke.
“Oh… Hyung, you have a lot of memories. Then do you also remember throwing away my cooking without eating it?”
T-That doesn't seem like something to bring up in such a light tone!
Even Kim Rae-bin thought so, but in this atmosphere that somehow reminded him of the Steer days, he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Because back then, talking back at the dinner table was absolutely forbidden!
“Don’t you remember? Christmas Eve.”
“…….”
Ryu Cheong-woo didn't answer for a moment.
He hesitated as if struggling internally, but soon replied calmly.
“I wasn't the one who threw it away.”
“What?!”
“It must have been Min Jung-hoon.”
Ryu Cheong-woo mentioned a specific name. It was a certain Steer member who had been involved in a dating scandal.
Cha Yu-jin almost hit the table with his spoon.
“Holy sh—, then why didn't you say it was a misunderstanding?”
“Because there was no need to.”
Ryu Cheong-woo seemed to hesitate again about whether to speak, but soon replied in a fairly indifferent tone.
“I thought you guys would fight, so I just let it be known that I did it. I thought it would be easier to control that way. Since you listened to me.”
“…….”
Soon, Cha Yu-jin let out a low sigh.
“OK. [That’s such a “Steer Leader” thing to do. My bad for asking.]”
Cha Yu-jin replied quite cynically, but even someone who didn't know English could tell by his tone that there was no malice in it.
So, no tension was created. Instead, the conversation ended with Ryu Cheong-woo letting out a faint chuckle.
A slightly embarrassed yet soft atmosphere, the kind that might be shared between people who had cleared up a misunderstanding, passed by.
And then, the silent spoonfuls continued.
‘Hmm.’
Kim Rae-bin felt an unexpected emotion.
They were sitting around talking about the long-ago past, and an uncomfortable period at that.
In fact, it was a situation where it wouldn't have been strange to feel uncomfortable, but in this atmosphere, he even felt a bit of nostalgia.
‘Why?’
The reason was simple.
Even if it was a very difficult and painful time, when it reached a good conclusion, there were bound to be things to look back on and remember.
Especially if the people who endured that period together were still there.
“Just how much pepper did you put in this?”
“If you’re not sick, you can eat it. This is the right amount!”
They silently finished the soup.
In that way, they organized the past they had once forgotten and then remembered.
They finished their preparations to move forward again.
At the same time.
Park Moon-dae, who had successfully finished filming a WeTube mukbang variety show for promotion, received a text message.
It was very sudden news.
—[VTIC Cheong-ryeo Sunbae-nim]: Junior, let’s meet once within three days. Preferably in person.
While thinking things like ‘You crazy bastard, I’m having a comeback,’ Park Moon-dae intended to send a polite but empty text, conscious of the fact that he was still at the filming site.
—[VTIC Cheong-ryeo Sunbae-nim]: Because I’m enlisting in four days. ^^
“…?? ……!!”
VTIC. Starting with the leader, Cheong-ryeo, everyone was enlisting in four days.