Chapter 506
Chapter 506
After Steer Ryu Cheong-woo’s remark, a brief, heavy silence filled the practice room.
'Is there a need to get my memories back?'
The members likely remained silent because the weight of those words was slowly sinking in.
It was a declaration that he intended to stay here as himself, rather than as the original Ryu Cheong-woo of TeSTAR.
Meanwhile, Steer Ryu Cheong-woo waited quietly for our response, offering no further explanation.
It was as if he were waiting for a verdict.
"……."
A moment later.
"Hyung-nim, what are you talking about? I’m sure you’ll get your memories back. Hey, don’t worry about it!"
Keun Se-jin was the first to react, forced a smile. By acting as if it were nothing, he seemed to be giving Cheong-woo a chance to smoothly move past the comment or take it back.
But Ryu Cheong-woo didn't back down.
"Hmm, I didn't mean I was worried about that. Are you the one worried, Se-jin? Does it make you anxious that I don't have my memories?"
"……!"
Right.
'He’s not the type to say something like that if he could be swayed into taking it back.'
Still, I hadn't expected him to be so blunt.
To ask if they were anxious because he was inferior to the original Ryu Cheong-woo—and to say it so calmly, no less.
"If there’s something you’re worried about, tell me. I’ll fix it right away."
"Oh, no, we’re already so grateful! It’s just that staying like this must be so strange and uncomfortable for you, Hyung."
"It’s not particularly uncomfortable."
Steer Ryu Cheong-woo gave a faint smile.
"It’s fun. I like being on stage, and there’s so much to learn. I like the fact that it’s unfamiliar."
"……."
"I’m just afraid that if I get my memories back, I won’t feel this way anymore."
"Hey, it’ll probably be even better then."
Keun Se-jin spoke softly, his voice quite warm.
However.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Pardon?"
Ryu Cheong-woo spoke without a hint of agitation.
"What’s happening right now isn't exactly a normal situation where you can be sure of anything. And I think I’m the one who knows best how I’ll feel."
"……Well,"
Even Keun Se-jin looked momentarily speechless.
He probably had a rebuttal ready, but he hesitated, fearing that pushing back might trigger a confrontation.
If the guy said that’s how he felt, contradicting him would be the same as telling him he was wrong to his face.
'Shit.'
Things were getting tangled. I needed to change the atmosphere immediately.
Just as I decided on what to say and prepared to jump in—
"Practice!"
"…!"
Someone suddenly shouted at the top of their lungs.
Surprisingly, it was Bae Se-jin, who had been tucked away in a corner looking at an e-book.
"We only have a week left! Break time is over. Whatever it is, practice first and talk later!"
"Ah."
He shouted with such intensity that the veins in his neck stood out; he looked truly desperate.
And in that instant, the atmosphere shifted completely, as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over them. Everyone was reminded of their immediate priority.
It wasn't the way I would have handled it, but it was incredibly effective.
Bae Se-jin kept shouting.
"If we get any more delayed, Kim Rae-bin won't even have time to work on the arrangement!"
That was true.
"And if he stays up all night again to meet the deadline, his roommate is hardly going to stop him. His roommate is Park Moon-dae!"
"Ah."
Hey, that’s a bit much.
"…! No! I will finish it within the deadline without having to work through the night. Please trust me!"
"Uh-huh, I trust you…!"
"If it’s Rae-bin, of course he can do it!"
The tension broke instantly with the mundane conversation.
"Right. Let’s work hard."
"Yes, f-f-fight-ing…!"
The topic was successfully diverted.
Ryu Cheong-woo also returned to his usual gentle and cooperative self, as if his previous remarks had been a lie, and actively participated in the practice.
As time passed, the earlier tension felt like something that could naturally happen in such a bizarre situation.
'He must be confused, so it makes sense! Even Cha Yu-jin ran away from home.'
People probably thought something like that.
But I hadn't forgotten Steer Ryu Cheong-woo’s attitude from before.
'He’s not confused.'
He was certain.
He had already reached a conclusion in his head.
To remain here as Steer Ryu Cheong-woo.
When I looked at it that way, all the effort he had put in so far fit together like puzzle pieces.
Learning TeSTAR’s hit songs and latest performances exactly as taught—or even more by asking questions—and absorbing the group’s history and the personal story of this world’s 'Ryu Cheong-woo.'
He had been doing it like a soldier in training.
So that he could remain as Steer Ryu Cheong-woo without ever needing to recover his memories as TeSTAR’s leader.
'So that was his goal.'
During the next break.
I saw Bae Se-jin standing in the corner of the practice room, letting out a small sigh.
"Hyung."
"…Park Moon-dae."
Bae Se-jin glanced at me, then turned his gaze back.
He was looking at Ryu Cheong-woo, who was listening to Kim Rae-bin and Seon A-hyun explain the song.
"…I’ve been thinking about this for a while."
Bae Se-jin murmured quietly.
"He’s uncomfortable around me, too. Just like Cha Yu-jin was before."
"……."
"But… he’s trying so hard not to let it show. I don’t know why he’s doing that."
So he noticed.
It seemed that the reason Bae Se-jin had been so pleased a few days ago when Steer Ryu Cheong-woo accepted a water bottle from him wasn't just because his gesture was accepted.
'He took it as a sign that Cheong-woo was trying to get along with him.'
Even if he didn't know the reason, as he said, he seemed to have found hope in that.
And Bae Se-jin wasn't finished.
"…And I don't know why both of them are uncomfortable around me, either."
Damn it.
"That’s—"
"Forget it."
Bae Se-jin sighed.
"It’s obvious, isn't it? I probably caused trouble for the group and ended up being dragged back to my old agency or something."
"……."
"It’ll be fine if I show him that I’ve changed a lot since then."
He put on a determined face, but his expression soon clouded over.
"More than that, I just… don't know what we should do now."
"……."
We both stared at Steer Ryu Cheong-woo.
The way he talked to the members was so friendly that, at a glance, one might mistake him for the original TeSTAR Ryu Cheong-woo.
But.
"If he doesn't get his memories back, what happens to… the Cheong-woo we used to know?"
I couldn't answer him.
A week later.
The day of the first performance for True Competition arrived.
[Please welcome TeSTAR to the stage.]
As we walked onto the stage for the sixth performance following the MC’s introduction, I adjusted my in-ear monitor.
No matter how confident I was, this was a survival show. A single mistake could send all the career and fame we’d built down the drain.
But I wasn't anxious.
Normally, that would be because we were well-prepared, but this time, it was different.
'I can't even afford to worry about that.'
Because there was a much bigger source of anxiety.
"……."
Waaaaah!
Cheers and applause.
Amidst the noise, TeSTAR began to move.
—The sound of falling raindrops
Tapping on the windowpane
Blue pouring over my head
The song we chose was Mudie’s hit ballad, You Might Not Know.
It was a song famous for its sorrowful dawn vibe, known as an 'insider pick' on social media at the time. Thanks to its repetitive chorus, it was addictive and popular, but…
Kim Rae-bin had rearranged it into something much more melancholic and heavy.
—Tired of this Love and Sick
Still waiting for the notification to ring
The intro started exactly like the original, flowing calmly like a conversation, but the moment the parts switched—
A slow, low bass vibrated through the speakers.
—You might not know
And then, a heavy, impactful performance began in earnest.
The concept was internal depression.
The song incorporated classical pieces, becoming increasingly elegant and grand as it progressed, accompanied by a highly artistic performance.
It even included a solo dance by Seon A-hyun during the bridge.
After pivoting away from the typical symbolism of K-pop in the opening performance, we tried to create a stage that would appeal to more sophisticated tastes this time.
And finally.
—I can't fall asleep
I'm just going to say it once
Goodbye, goodbye
For this part, where the accompaniment dropped out to leave only the vocals… Kim Rae-bin had selected the right person based purely on vocal color, without any bias.
Ryu Cheong-woo.
—You might not know
He executed it perfectly.
Then, the accompaniment returned along with the bass.
—Umm… umm.
The music faded out into a heavy, muffled silence until the end.
…….
We had chosen a dark, atmospheric concept that would have failed miserably without a certain level of stage presence.
It was designed so that when the right impact hit at the exact right timing, the catharsis and charm would be magnified.
And that strategy was a success.
Waaaaah!!
As the lights went out.
The cheers and applause that filled the hall were so immense they stood in stark contrast to the dark atmosphere of the stage.
Ring—
The bright stage lights came back on, and before exiting, the members, though drenched in sweat and breathing hard, gave bright greetings, still riding the high of the performance.
"Thank you~!"
"Thank you."
And Steer Ryu Cheong-woo was no different.
"Thank you!"
Ryu Cheong-woo had done well.
And he looked happy.
'Dammit.'
That only made things more complicated, so I suppressed a sigh.
But I couldn't put it off any longer.
'That would just be escapism.'
I had to talk to him before the update was finished.
A short while later.
During the waiting time while the stage was being cleared before the final closing shot of the True Competition broadcast.
"I have something to say to you."
"……."
I called Steer Ryu Cheong-woo into a small sleeping room at the back of the waiting area.
He followed without any resistance. Then he asked.
"Is this about what I said a few days ago?"
I nodded, not surprised.
Once we got back to the dorm, things would just get buried under work again, so it was better to do it now.
'And for this… it’s better to approach him as a relative rather than a younger teammate.'
That would be more comfortable for both of us. So, I sat down next to him and dropped the formal speech.
"Can I ask why?"
"……."
"I’m not trying to scold you. I just didn't get to hear the full reason why you thought 'it wouldn't be good to get your memories back' because we were busy practicing."
Steer Ryu Cheong-woo wasn't uncooperative this time either.
Instead, he remained silent for a moment, as if thinking or choosing his words.
Then, he answered slowly.
"Because I don't think that person would be me."
"……."
"I thought about it after seeing Cha Yu-jin—well, Yu-jin."
He continued calmly.
"He’s very different from the Cha Yu-jin I knew."
"……."
"Even though he clearly seemed to have the memories of living as the Cha Yu-jin I knew, he was still different."
'So that was it.'
He was right.
Even though the current Cha Yu-jin had regained his memories of his time in Steer, he still prioritized his memories of living as a member of TeSTAR.
It was only natural. Steer was a thing of the distant past.
There was no way this guy, who had been in the same group as Steer Cha Yu-jin, wouldn't notice that dissonance.
In other words, it was natural for him to think that if he regained his memories, his current self wouldn't remain the same.
'Damn it.'
"I’m afraid that even if I get my memories back, I’ll become like a different person. I don't want that."
Steer Ryu Cheong-woo said it outright. I grit my teeth.
He didn't even stop there.
"I know. But, well, I suppose you think that’s still the same person, Hyung."
"……."
"If so, then the current me, who has no memories, is also a member of the same group. Right?"
Wait.
'This… sounds like something he prepared.'
It was strangely smooth.
'A member of the same group?'
No, that wasn't it.
'We haven't been treating him that way.'
In that moment, I realized the contradiction in our attitude toward Steer Ryu Cheong-woo.
No matter how much someone has lost their memory, people around them usually treat them the same way out of habit.
Just as we had inadvertently done several times with Steer Cha Yu-jin.
'But are we… treating this guy as the same person as TeSTAR’s Ryu Cheong-woo?'
Steer Cha Yu-jin had even gotten into a huge fight and run away because we treated him like the TeSTAR Cha Yu-jin we knew.
While vehemently claiming, 'I am a different person from the one you know.'
As a result, we were now unconsciously treating this 'Steer Ryu Cheong-woo' as a different person from the 'original Ryu Cheong-woo.'
Even while telling him he had simply lost his memories.
'Shit.'
We screwed up.
There was no way he wouldn't notice that dissonance.
But instead of pointing that out, he spoke calmly, as if trying to persuade me using my own logic.
As if it didn't matter which way he persuaded me, as long as it worked.
"And in another month or two—no, just a few weeks—I’ll be able to fulfill my role perfectly without any help."
But at the end, his calm voice trembled slightly.
"So I just… I’d like it if you’d let me stay like this."
That day.
TeSTAR’s performance received overwhelming praise and took first place in the live audience vote.
The internet was flooded with early reviews from the audience, raising expectations for the program and giving fans a sense of relief and excitement.
Everything went according to plan.
But that was the only thing that went according to plan.
…I received a pop-up notification that the update was complete.