Chapter 477
Chapter 477
“…….”
Cha Yu-jin took a slow, deep breath.
The fresh, sharp scent unique to a coastline with crashing waves filled his lungs.
Though it was summer, the dawn by the water was cool enough to be bearable. The air at this beach on Ganghwa Island reminded him of the beaches back in San Diego.
In the past, he would have easily regained his composure in a moment like this.
But now, his head wouldn't clear.
To be precise, Cha Yu-jin could no longer simply blow away his 'loser-like emotions' as easily as dusting off a coat.
It was no longer possible, not like before.
‘This sucks.’
So, he decided he would at least try to stay calm.
He felt like he could manage to shut his mouth and endure thirty days here…
As long as no one else was around.
But,
“Cha Yu-jin!”
“…!”
He heard a voice calling his name.
Turning his head, he saw a dim silhouette wearing a mask.
It wasn't that the person was dark.
Because they were running with the dawn sun at their back, the light made them look like a hazy shadow.
And yet, he could recognize who it was from that dark silhouette alone.
He had known this person for years.
—…Goodbye, Cha Yu-jin.
The colleague who had given him a final farewell on his way back to the States.
“Kim Rae-bin.”
However, the moment the name left his lips, he realized.
‘He’s not the same person.’
His stomach churned uncomfortably.
In the meantime, ‘Kim Rae-bin’—since the name was the same anyway!—ran across the shore and shouted.
“Were you really here?!”
To think he had found him.
Did the ‘Cha Yu-jin of this world’ also have some special memory of this place?
The thought of it was enough to make him feel sick.
“I’m here. But aren't you looking for your friend?”
“…??”
“Then go back. It seems that person isn't here. I’m not your friend.”
The words flowed out with surprising smoothness. Cha Yu-jin didn't bother to vent the rising anger inside him; he simply turned his head away in silence.
It was then.
“No! You are my friend.”
“…!”
Kim Rae-bin’s voice grew louder as well.
But Cha Yu-jin knew.
‘He’s not angry.’
Kim Rae-bin’s voice was firmly imbued with the confidence and conviction typical of someone who had just shared a fact they had discovered.
“I agree that the time we experienced has differed since we participated in <Aju-sa>. However, I realized that the friendship we built before participating has not disappeared.”
‘Before the participation?’
Cha Yu-jin reflexively questioned him in his mind, then immediately understood.
Before participating in <Aju-sa>.
The days when they trained together at the same agency.
“In that case, I am indeed the friend you met during our trainee days. And you are indeed the Cha Yu-jin I studied alongside during those same trainee days!”
“…….”
“By that logic, we can be judged as the same person!”
Cha Yu-jin was momentarily speechless.
It wasn't because he had no rebuttal.
It was just… because the person in front of him, Kim Rae-bin, was so full of certainty. He seemed to believe, without a shred of doubt, that he had found the perfect logic.
‘Good grief.’
And that was… a side of him he hadn't seen often over the past few years.
But it wasn't entirely unfamiliar either.
Back before they debuted, and even a few times after—whenever they were preparing an album.
—If we proceed this way, it will definitely deliver a modern charm while resulting in a high-quality performance.
He remembered seeing that side of him occasionally.
…No, that wasn't it.
‘My friend was always that kind of person.’
Kim Rae-bin had always been like that.
At first glance, he seemed merely polite and humble, but he had a stubborn side that refused to yield.
Self-assurance.
A worldview so firm it bordered on shameless.
And the talent… that prevented it all from being mere self-obstinacy.
Seeing the best traits of his old colleague again stirred a unique set of emotions within him.
“…….”
Cha Yu-jin knew it clearly.
‘He’s not the same person.’
He had even told himself several times that this was someone else, not the person he knew.
Even so, he couldn't help it.
‘…But there are commonalities.’
Cha Yu-jin was only in his twenties.
He couldn't reject the clear friendship proven at a dead end in this strange world he had been thrust into.
So, he had no choice but to answer in a strained voice.
[You’re right.]
It was his first admission.
Just then, a wave crashed. Cha Yu-jin turned his head.
‘He probably didn't understand.’
But before he could repeat his answer in Korean, an even louder response came back.
“Indeed!”
Huh?
Cha Yu-jin pushed himself up from the rock.
“Kim Rae-bin, did you understand what I said?”
“I am studying simple English at a vocabulary level for songwriting. It helps with fitting in punchlines.”
“Oh.”
For a moment, Cha Yu-jin almost asked what kind of song he was composing, but he quickly realized the reality and stopped himself.
Because it was meaningless.
“…?”
Kim Rae-bin didn't notice the unnatural pause, but he decided to continue the conversation as he had planned.
Taking advantage of the slightly relaxed atmosphere, he recalled Park Moon-dae’s advice.
—If you really meet Cha Yu-jin… just speak comfortably, however you want.
So, he did exactly that.
Kim Rae-bin first asked the thing he judged to be most important at the moment.
“Have you eaten?”
Food, clothing, and shelter!
Since he probably hadn't slept, it was only right to make sure he ate.
Cha Yu-jin was momentarily flustered, but he soon let out a short laugh and turned his gaze back to the sea.
“No.”
“Then, even though it’s early, let’s start with breakfast.”
“I’m fine.”
He wasn't in the ‘mood for that.’
At that, Kim Rae-bin looked at him with an expression that was almost one of horror.
“Are you in a state of stress so severe that you are skipping meals?”
“…….”
“…! Or perhaps, because you have lived so freely, are you feeling a great deal of pressure from the current situation?”
That damn ‘freedom.’
Cha Yu-jin stared at the waves with his chin resting on his hand, then answered absentmindedly.
“I worked at a repair shop.”
“…….”
His five years of activity had ended as if they had never happened. This was the work he had started after returning home.
“My parents said they’d give me a surfboard shop, but I said no.”
He thought it would be beyond annoying to spend all day meeting and talking to idiots who just hung around the beach riding surfboards.
It was a contradictory feeling—wanting to throw himself into a pathetic life of wasting time, yet not wanting to meet the idiots who were actually wasting their lives.
“An auto repair shop?”
“Yeah.”
“Was it fun?”
“Not really.”
But it wasn't that bad either. Cha Yu-jin had never been particularly bad at anything. Even at the shop, he quickly adapted to the work using his hands and body.
And….
“I liked it because I didn't have to think about anything.”
“…….”
Why did Steer’s Cha Yu-jin return home as soon as his contract ended?
In truth, it wasn't that he hadn't received any offers from other agencies.
They weren't major labels, but he had received a few proposals from smaller ones.
Perhaps he could have tried releasing one or two more albums.
But he didn't.
—No.
‘I’ve already come too far.’
Because he realized he had been doing something stupid.
“…….”
Originally, he had a very simple life philosophy that he had learned and developed from his grandfather.
—If you can't see a solution, find one.
—If you absolutely can't find one, give up cleanly and try a new direction.
Cha Yu-jin had lived his life thinking and acting that way. Until he debuted.
But the past few years he spent as ‘Steer’s Cha Yu-jin’ were a bit different.
Because he couldn't ‘give up cleanly.’
‘A member being arrested for drugs, a song I didn't choose becoming the title track, the group’s name being attached to a project I didn't participate in, albums being canceled…….’
And the rumors.
Rumors upon rumors, and an environment he couldn't control.
Even though no fundamental solution was in sight, he endured by making the best choice at every moment.
Of course, at the time, he felt it was all worth it. He didn't care if it was a waste.
But after pouring everything in like that.
In the end, nothing remained.
—Steer, contract terminated.
“…….”
An ending where neither growth nor a reversal occurred.
Once you've reached that point, you have to admit it.
That you missed the timing to give up.
“But this place makes me think too much.”
That’s why it’s painful.
The world where the price of his stupid choice not to give up was given in such an absurd way was far too perfect.
Everyone is happy, and everything is successful.
[I just… I don't know why I have to see this damn world where everything is perfect.]
“…….”
Since those were words he couldn't bring himself to say even in English, Cha Yu-jin muttered them in Spanish.
But Kim Rae-bin didn't press him on what he meant.
He simply tried his best to grasp the emotions contained in that tone of voice, using his quiet, albeit less-than-sensitive, social skills.
‘He seems to be having a hard time.’
And that core realization was enough.
So, Kim Rae-bin decided to just sit quietly next to Cha Yu-jin and watch the sea with him.
Because he knew he wasn't good with words.
“…….”
“…….”
And it was the right choice.
Swoooosh—
The waves reflected the light, rippling gently.
In front of the peaceful sea, Cha Yu-jin felt a slight sense of liberation.
It was the kind of feeling one gets from uttering words that no one else can understand.
Thanks to that, he was able to nod at Kim Rae-bin’s next words.
“It is now 8 o'clock, a suitable time for breakfast.”
“Okay.”
The two stood up from the rocks on the beach.
Their footprints were left behind in a neat, straight line.
And after having breakfast at a restaurant with private rooms that Kim Rae-bin had scouted from the members beforehand.
Kim Rae-bin now felt comfortable enough to ask about his own curiosity.
“Cha Yu-jin, do you perhaps dislike the hyungs?”
“Cough,”
Indeed.
Just like that, point-blank.
Cha Yu-jin, who was drinking water, almost choked but managed to hold it in.
And since he had already left the dorm anyway, he decided to give an honest answer.
“It’s uncomfortable.”
“Is it because you feel they are trying to infringe upon your freedom for the sake of the other Cha Yu-jin? Or because they treat you while projecting that Cha Yu-jin onto you?”
“Umm… yeah.”
Cha Yu-jin reacted hesitantly. It was because Kim Rae-bin had spoken so bluntly.
After some thought, he even offered a more honest and specific answer. It was out of goodwill, guilt, and… a bit of worry.
“And… ‘Moon-dae hyung’?”
Hmm?
Kim Rae-bin snapped his head up.
Cha Yu-jin was frowning subtly.
“I find that person suspicious.”
“…!”
“That guy, he knows too much about me.”
Kim Rae-bin’s jaw dropped.
“That… Moon-dae hyung usually remembers everything about all of us, and since he is in charge of the planning for this group….”
“Nope! That’s not what I mean. It’s about me.”
“…?”
“Me, not the other one.”
Cha Yu-jin pointed to himself.
He could already feel it.
The person Kim Rae-bin called ‘Moon-dae hyung’ knew far too much about Steer’s Cha Yu-jin.
Objectively speaking, Steer was a group that didn't have a very good end.
‘And it was a boy band.’
It’s difficult for another man to know the circumstances that well. Hearing the name once would be the limit. And even then, it would only be about the bad rumors.
But how had this ‘Park Moon-dae’ acted?
—Shut your mouth.
—…You don't necessarily need to see that.
He blocked him at every critical moment.
Exactly as if he knew what his group’s triggers were.
And he did it based on facts.
“It’s too much. I mean… it’s not natural.”
“…….”
Cha Yu-jin couldn't explain it in detail to Kim Rae-bin, but he wanted to warn him that something felt off.
So he said it.
However.
“Then let’s ask him directly!”
“What?”
Kim Rae-bin immediately picked up his smartphone…!
“Kim Rae-bin, are you crazy?”
“I’m not crazy, you dummy!”
“Du….”
In the moment Cha Yu-jin was flustered by the Korean insult he hadn't heard in a while, Kim Rae-bin successfully connected the call as if it were nothing.
“Yes, hyung!”
And a short while later.
“…….”
“…….”
One more person was added to the room of the breakfast place by the Ganghwa Island beach, which was still empty of crowds.
“Hey.”
In just one day, the shadows under ‘Moon-dae hyung’s’ eyes had darkened.
He wasn't someone with a particularly healthy complexion or a fierce impression to begin with, but his face looked even more exhausted and weary now.
‘Hmm…….’
Cha Yu-jin felt a faint pang of guilt, but he knew that being on guard came first.
So he tried to brace himself immediately, but,
“Hyung, Cha Yu-jin says he has some suspicions about you!”
Kim Rae-bin blurted out Cha Yu-jin’s suspicions directly to Park Moon-dae first.
‘Kim Rae-bin!’
As Cha Yu-jin screamed internally, meeting Moon-dae's eyes and sharpening his reflexes for any potential situation.
The ‘Moon-dae hyung’ in front of him… lowered his head slightly.
“Well, that’s.”
And Cha Yu-jin, who was quick to pick up on interpersonal nuances, immediately noticed the flavor of that gesture.
This person….
“Because I was interested.”
“…??”
“I was just interested, so I followed your activities a bit.”
This person was feeling embarrassed.
‘Oh my god.’
Park Moon-dae.
The former Ryu Gun-woo had just ended up coming out as a fan right in front of the singer himself at a moment he never could have imagined.