Chapter 364
Chapter 364
I turned my head.
Every single one of the guys next to me was either breaking out in a cold sweat or sitting with their mouths agape.
I turned back to the TV.
On the screen, a montage played, showing each member moving individually after receiving their secret orders.
[Me, a Phantom Thief?]
[Ryu Cheong-woo: Success is staying undetected until we leave the village...]
[Lee Se-jin: Eh, this is easy. It’s not like anyone saw what I stole yesterday, and even I didn’t know back then, right?]
[Seon A-hyun: Um, yes. I’ll do my best...!]
Then, white text appeared on a black screen.
[No one]
[Ever told you that you were the one who stole the Carrot Coins...]
The viewers exploded with laughter.
The living room was deathly silent, save for the sound of the TV. However, the PD’s voice coming from the screen was as energetic as a demon’s.
[Bae Se-jin: But I didn’t really do anything last night... I have no idea how I even stole the coins.]
[PD: If you can deduce how the culprit stole them last night, an even bigger prize awaits you~]
[Bae Se-jin: Ah, as expected...!]
[LOLOLOLOLOL]
The writers and PDs were shown in an exaggerated edit, burying their heads and shaking as they tried to stay quiet.
However, the guys, burdened by their "heavy responsibilities," were too busy reading their notes to notice.
[The Spy of the Phantom Thief of Justice (Fake)]
[Individual Match Start!]
Lee Se-jin winked at the camera.
[Lee Se-jin: Oh boy~ My fellow members, please forgive me since this is just a variety show!]
Thwack.
In reality, Lee Se-jin silently slammed his fist into his own thigh. His namesake was also clenching his fists. No one tried to stop them.
[A Suffocating Battle of Wits]
[Seon A-hyun: Since I have thread, maybe I should make something and, uh, see if anyone wants to buy it?]
[↑ The person with a guilty conscience]
[Bae Se-jin: It’s true that you’re amazing... but shouldn’t catching the culprit be the top priority? The production team said so too; they’re practically telling us to catch them.]
[↑ The method actor]
[Kim Rae-bin: If someone gets hurt...]
[↑ Currently imagining himself getting hurt]
Captions with arrows floated around, providing additional commentary as the viewers rolled on the floor laughing.
[Ryu Cheong-woo: (Quickly) We can’t have that.]
[Seon A-hyun: (Quickly 2) Yes. It might be dangerous...]
[Lee Se-jin: (Quickly 3) Exactly. It could be dangerous.]
[Opinions that align for some reason]
Then, I appeared on the screen with a question mark edited over my head.
[Park Moon-dae: (Is that so...?)]
[↑ The person who has no idea what’s going on]
These...
“...”
Unlike the real-time chat where viewers were dying of laughter, not a single chuckle could be heard in the living room.
I cracked my neck loudly. The people around me flinched.
[Ryu Cheong-woo: For now, let’s help out with the chores and earn some coins. While we do that, let’s keep an eye out for the thief. There are bound to be hints.]
[Kim Rae-bin: (Relieved) That is a... wise... judgment.]
[The big picture each of them is drawing]
On the screen, the guys were moving desperately to avoid being caught as the "culprit."
[Lee Se-jin: Don’t you think the culprit might be in one of the houses we worked at on the first day?]
[Kim Rae-bin: ...Indeed!]
[Bae Se-jin: That’s a thought worth considering.]
Lee Se-jin kept throwing out plausible but incorrect theories about the culprit. Naturally, they were met with enthusiastic agreement and passed.
An interview with the grinning guy was inserted.
[Lee Se-jin: I’m actually quite good at this kind of thing.]
“Ugh.”
Now, Keun Se-jin in the living room couldn't even lift his head.
Next to appear on camera was Ryu Cheong-woo.
[Park Moon-dae: I’m thinking of going to the village hall.]
[Ryu Cheong-woo: Ah, of course I should go with you.]
[↑ Planning to surveil him]
“It wasn’t surveillance; I really just wanted to help.”
His flustered voice echoed through the living room, but no one responded.
This was because, on the screen, Seon A-hyun had gotten so startled by the theories about the culprit that he accidentally set the meat on fire.
[The... the fire is catching?]
[???: Gwaaaaah!]
They had even snagged an interview in the middle of the night.
[Q. Was the chaos intentional?]
[Seon A-hyun: No...]
Seon A-hyun covered his face with both hands and hung his head low. The real Seon A-hyun was currently in a similar pose.
It was a total mess.
‘...So.’
I suppressed my rising anger and forced myself to reach a conclusion.
‘Every single one of these bastards thought they were the only culprit.’
That’s why they were currently unable to lift their heads out of shame.
No, but wait—I’m the one who should be the most fucking embarrassed right now. These guys at least got to feel like they were deceiving someone, but why was I...?
‘Wait.’
Looking around now, there was one guy whose face looked perfectly fine.
‘Cha Yu-jin.’
Just then, an explanation appeared on the screen.
[And this person...]
[The American Grandson]
On the screen, Cha Yu-jin was standing near the production crew with a camera, looking just as nonchalant as he did now in the living room.
Then, he spoke up abruptly.
[Cha Yu-jin: Hey, I know.]
[PD: Pardon?]
[Cha Yu-jin: There are many culprits besides me! I’m not the culprit. PD-nim and Writer-nim lied to me.]
[!!!!]
This brat...
“Don’t you all know? I figured it out.”
“...!!”
“H-How??”
“Everyone didn’t want to find the culprit. And they worked very hard. That’s because of their conscience!”
This guy didn't get caught... while I was left in the dark.
[The production team becomes desperate]
[PD: If you don’t tell, we’ll give you meat!]
[PD: We’ll pretend it’s a prize! We’ll give you Hanwoo beef, Hanwoo!]
On the screen, which was now in slow motion, Cha Yu-jin slowly opened his mouth.
[Cha Yu-jin: Okay!]
[That was easy...!]
“Hey!!”
Chaos erupted from both sides of me.
“You sold us out for meat!”
“I didn’t sell you out! we ate it together!”
“I could have bought that meat with my own money...!”
It was at that moment, as Bae Se-jin shouted indignantly from the other side of the sofa.
[The MVP chosen by the production team]
[Bae Se-jin]
[↑ A top-tier actor]
“Cough.”
Bae Se-jin choked on his own breath.
[Q. Your resolution for being a spy?]
[Bae Se-jin: ...First, I plan to construct my own character well... and act out how I would have behaved if this incident hadn't happened.]
A caption slapped onto Bae Se-jin’s serious face like a sticker.
[Acting as himself...!]
“Pfft.”
Then, Bae Se-jin’s exquisite pacing and immersive acting were broadcasted through an edit that was half-admiration and half-mockery.
[Bae Se-jin: We have to catch the culprit first... No, of course eating is important, but!]
[Bae Se-jin: If you have a conscience, the right thing to do is confess now!]
[Is this person... really just acting?]
[And the first crisis approaches]
Crisis?
At that moment, the screen transitioned again.
The camera footage was low-quality, slightly shaky, and tilted. It looked like it had been captured hastily on a smartphone.
What it showed was... Bae Se-jin and a white back of a head...
No way.
[Bae Se-jin: In the end, who was the culprit who took the Carrot Coins? That’s why all of this happened in the first place.]
I could see the white-haired head, only visible from the side, opening its mouth.
It was me, for fuck's sake.
[Park Moon-dae: It’s obvious. It must have been an insider.]
The captions made a huge fuss.
[!!!!]
[Could it be...?]
My mouth went dry.
Stop speculating, seriously...
[Bae Se-jin: Y-You mean... it’s one of us?]
[Nervous]
[Park Moon-dae: Yes.]
Then, after the white-haired guy on the screen spouted a few more plausible-sounding things, Bae Se-jin asked that question.
[Bae Se-jin: ...Are you saying that because you think it’s me? Because, you know, it requires acting skills.]
[Self-destruction...?]
Shit, shit!
I lowered my head. But the bastard on the TV kept blabbing.
[Park Moon-dae: No. I don’t think it’s you, Hyung.]
Shut up, you idiot!
[Park Moon-dae: (Confident) You weren't composed enough, Hyung.]
[LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL]
The captions exploded. The viewers were having the time of their lives.
Even then, the guy on the TV wouldn't close his trap.
[Park Moon-dae: Actually, there is someone suspicious.]
Don't do it!
[!Points at Lee Se-jin!]
[Congrats! (1/6 correct answer) Congrats!]
“...”
“P-Park Moon-dae...”
...As fireworks effects went off on the screen, more captions flowed by.
[Park Moon-dae: It’s just a suspicion. Let’s just keep it between us.]
[Incredible smarts]
You bastards.
“No, well, I was afraid I’d get caught too...”
“...”
“I’m sorry! I mean, it’s for the broadcast... But I had no idea they were filming that! I really didn’t!”
“...”
“I’m telling you, it wasn’t that fun for me either...!”
However, on the screen, after I left, Bae Se-jin stood up and started doing a little victory dance.
[The Perfect Crime Ceremony]
“...”
Bae Se-jin’s voice died out. When I turned my head, I saw him with his face buried in the floor.
On the screen that had turned black, more captions appeared.
[A question that viewers might have wondered about]
[Why was Park Moon-dae left out?]
Just stop already.
[The Full Story of the Incident 3]
The production team’s meeting was shown again. I wanted to smash something.
[Writer Park: But I’m a bit worried.]
[PD: About what?]
[Writer Park: About Moon-dae-ssi.]
the writer wearing a mask spoke seriously.
[Writer Park: If we give him a culprit mission, won’t that just give him more hints and make him figure it out? Then it’s a bust.]
[...]
[...]
[What is the countermeasure for a 6-star danger-level participant?]
After a moment of meaningful silence, the PD spoke up boldly.
[PD: Then... let’s leave him out!]
[Writer Lee: What??]
[PD: Just leave him out! Let’s make Moon-dae-ssi a special citizen!]
[LOLOLOLOLOL]
[Correct Answer / Left Out]
“...”
In contrast to the silent living room, the production team’s laughter erupted from the TV.
[Writer Lee: You’re right, that’ll work!]
[PD: Let’s try to fool him properly!]
[Writer Park: Waaaaah!]
A flood of "LOLs" passed through the screen, followed by fireworks.
[And that’s how it happened. ^^]
[???? Park Moon-dae is the only one who isn’t a Phantom Thief ????]
[Congratulations on becoming the lone innocent citizen, Moon-dae-ssi~]
Then, a fast-paced edit showed me looking like a total fool, getting swept up among the guys who had received the Phantom Thief orders.
“...”
“M-Moon-dae, b-breathe...”
They had crammed five episodes' worth of content into this, so it felt like it would never end. No, instead of ending, they inserted the "Popcorn" dance I did at the village hall.
[Citizen Verification Dance]
As that faded out, giant letters appeared over it.
[★☆ Park Moon-dae’s Truman Show: A Grand Success ☆★]
[Production Support: All of TeSTAR, Mung-ge]
“...”
“Moon-dae? Moon-dae?”
“Park Moon-dae looks like he’s lost his soul?!”
These... bastards.
After the final episode of the great upheaval.
The Grandson of That House variety show became a hot topic in... many ways.
And TeSTAR became the biggest bunch of suckers in idol history...
Especially me.
Me!
‘Shit!’
To make matters worse, those meticulous bastards even sent a gift the day after the final episode to create a conciliatory atmosphere.
[A TeSTAR family photo (+ Mung-ge) taken at the village photo studio! ^^]
I will never forget the sense of defeat I felt when I had to post this on social media as a verification post.
Keun Se-jin, whom I had finally allowed to speak to me after four days, hovered around and asked.
“Moon-dae, Moon-dae, are you okay? It was a bit much this time, right? Next time, even if we do it with other people...”
“No, we’re doing it together again.”
“Ooh~ As expected of Moon-dae...”
“We’ll do it together, and next time, I’ll make sure the production team is the one clutching their budget and sobbing.”
“...”
I was going to crush them.
“T-That’s right! I’ll definitely cooperate, absolutely~!”
“Yeah.”
I twitched an eyebrow as I looked at the group photo in the living room.
It pissed me off every time I saw it, but the photo itself was innocent.
There was one innocent being in the photo, too.
...The dog.
I glanced at the white ball of fur.
For the record, there had been quite a few opinions among the members about bringing him with us.
But it was also awkward to raise him in the dorm.
‘We have tours... and we’re away from here too often.’
I really don’t know how that bastard Cheong-ryeo manages to raise a dog.
Fortunately, a solution was found quickly.
It turned out that Bae Se-jin’s mother had been looking into getting a dog, and after seeing Bae Se-jin’s photos, texts, and the first episode of the variety show, she had made up her mind.
At the time, it looked like Bae Se-jin was about to say, ‘Lee Se-jin, you’re coming to my house...?’ but regardless, he said he would gladly welcome visits.
‘When I get a vacation, maybe for a day... I should ask.’
They said they’d bring him to the dorm once in a while, so that wasn't bad.
“...”
Anyway, moving on.
Evaluating it calmly now that I had composed myself, it was true that all the initial goals for this variety show had been achieved. Not to mention the buzz it generated, the viewership ratings were also quite good.
‘The final episode was 7.1%.’
Considering it was on cable, that was exceptionally good.
In other words, it was time to see what was inside the box.
‘Shall I check how things are going?’
I checked the situation with Mirinae and opened the status window.