Chapter 359
Chapter 359
Rattle.
“…The view is nice.”
“Look, there’s a cow over there…!”
Past the guys glued to the windows throwing out comments, a pastoral road landscape rolls by.
That’s right. We are currently being hauled off to the countryside in a typical chartered tour bus.
Of course, the bus is packed with cameras. In other words, this will be broadcast, so I can’t afford to waste a single moment.
“Whoa~ there’s even a karaoke machine here?”
“Ah, haven’t seen one of those in a while.”
“I want to sing! Give me the mic!”
“Okay! Should we bet on the scores?”
Keun Se-jin laughed as he grabbed the karaoke microphone to liven up the atmosphere. It was a variety-show-mode stance that looked almost desperate.
I understand.
He probably can’t stand this peaceful atmosphere that offers zero footage to cut.
“Now, now~ Our main vocal has to give us at least one song here!”
He’s really working hard.
“Give it here.”
“Ooh!”
I selected a popular song from about ten years ago and sang it as excitedly as possible while mapping out the best possible moves in my head.
I was just as desperate.
‘The possibility that we’ll be sent straight to a deep-sea fishing boat the moment we arrive… isn’t zero.’
You production bastards, please just do what you’re good at.
“That blue sea~ the cool breeze~”
“Ohh! Ohh!”
Please, let’s stick to the meta of screwing over the cast!
But the sight we finally saw upon arrival was… a comfortable and warm rural farmhouse.
“…….”
A picture-perfect country house with a blue roof, a wooden veranda, and plenty of sunlight.
The members got excited.
“Whoa!”
“It’s a wonderful house that feels very cozy!”
“…….”
No… the exterior could be a fake. Right, the interior is what matters.
However, after entering.
“The floor is warm here.”
“It feels lived-in, which makes it feel even more welcoming.”
“It really does…!”
The neatly organized ondol rooms were filled with old-fashioned charm, from mother-of-pearl cabinets and white porcelain to classically colorful candy jars and decorative rocks.
“Did you see the fridge?”
“…Yes, it was packed with stuff.”
The kitchen was stocked with various seasonings, rice, and side dishes.
With the sunlight streaming through the windows, even the air felt warm. I swallowed hard.
‘…The inside is even better.’
It was a house that condensed all the romance and nostalgia of so-called rural country life.
‘What the hell got into the art director?’
Why did they make the lodging so unnecessarily grand after giving it a title like The Grandson of That House?
To think they wouldn’t dare screw over the cast—this is the ultimate betrayal.
“Whoa~ This is seriously amazing! How is this possible?”
Seeing the atmosphere, Keun Se-jin had already switched his content to a ‘housewarming reaction.’
He’s trying so hard.
In the meantime, the Director chimed in.
“Haha, everyone, we borrowed all of this from the residents, so please use it carefully since we have to return it when the period is over~”
“Yes, sir!”
Why are you spouting that with such a heartwarming expression?
Just in case, I spoke up.
“Is there anything we have to pay back…?”
“Oh, of course not~ We paid for the rental ourselves! Absolutely! That will never happen!”
Yeah, thanks a lot.
‘We’re seriously going to flop.’
A moment later, we finished our reactions and came out to the veranda at the request to gather.
“TeSTAR grandsons, please sit here~”
“Yes, yes~”
A brief briefing on the content followed.
It wasn’t much different from what I heard during the meeting. Living the country life, helping the elders with their work for a bit, and cooking meals.
‘So boring….’
It would be one thing if it were full-blown, hardcore volunteer work, but this structure was basically us getting fed for free.
And the production team’s explanation didn’t end there.
“Next is how you’ll receive your compensation~”
On the table placed on the veranda, a lucky pouch had appeared at some point. Ryu Cheong-woo picked it up and opened it.
“What’s this? WOW~”
“…Interesting. Are these bottle caps?”
Inside were shiny circles with patterns engraved on them.
“You can only use one currency here, and you can acquire more of these through various chores!”
The Director pointed to the lucky pouch.
“Behold~ the <Carrot Coin>!”
“Ooh!”
That name sounds somewhat unsavory.
However, the members’ eyes sparkled even at the toy-like coins made by pressing bottle caps.
“Why is the name Carrot?”
“That’s because they can be exchanged one-to-one for actual carrots~”
“Hahaha!”
Generous reactions poured out even for the nonsense the production team was spouting.
“Understood~ Carrot-carrot!”
“That’s pretty fresh.”
“Let’s use this as public funds.”
Only then did I nod.
‘I knew it.’
There was no way this drugged-up production team would let the cast roam free and plentifully like this.
‘They must have messed with the coins.’
They’ll surely create a scenario where our debt snowballs or we struggle because the coins are ridiculously scarce.
‘Then, for the sake of impact….’
I should start with a massive spending spree.
My brain was finally working. I enthusiastically tested the waters.
“Should we go grocery shopping with these for dinner first?”
“Good idea.”
“I’ll write a list of what we need to buy!”
Should I aim for a shot where we freak out after seeing the prices?
As a setup, I walked into the market holding one coin I received from Ryu Cheong-woo and asked the production team meaningfully.
“Are you lending us this as well?”
But the production team answered firmly.
“No. We’re just giving it to you~ Starting capital!”
“…I see.”
……It didn’t seem like a lie.
Well, that’s possible. In that case, is it a situation where the cost of living is so high that the coins feel insufficient?
We started shopping.
“How much is this?”
Towels are a necessity. Surely they’ll surprise us by calling out an outrageous price for this kind of item….
“Ah~ you young men… anyway, this is two Carrot Coins! Just give me that much!”
“Thank you. We’ll take it.”
“…?”
Wait.
“Buy me that!”
“Yu-jin, do you want dalgona? Okay~ Ma’am, how much is this?”
“Oh my, you’re so handsome. Huh? You’re really good-looking~”
“Aww, thank you! You’re so beautiful too, ma’am~”
“Is that so? Then just one of those coins for seven of these!”
“…Whoa~ Amazing! Thank you!!”
“…?”
Everything we picked was ridiculously cheap.
‘They’re practically giving it away.’
What is this?
After almost dropping the dalgona I received from Keun Se-jin, I immediately turned to the production team and spoke up.
“…It’s incredibly cheap.”
“The residents are all very generous~”
That means the residents are setting the prices arbitrarily.
Then, since the cameras are rolling and it’s not even real money, of course they’d give it away!
‘Do they have a screw loose?’
Did they create this flimsy, practically meaningless ‘free’ rule with a sane mind?
“Then shall we go back and try cooking dinner~?”
“M-Moon-dae. This time, should I… try it? Just grilling the meat….”
“…Sure.”
—Prices that are practically free, easy work, a nice house, and zero obstacles to overcome.
I made a comprehensive reassessment.
‘We’re fucked.’
Who the fuck would want to watch idols who are already doing damn well for themselves enjoying a modest ‘healing’ trip to their heart’s content?
No, of course, the fans might want to see it… but still, there should be at least some level of stimulation to pique interest.
‘There are no ups and downs.’
With this bland structure, you can’t capture emotion, laughter, or spice.
In short, it’s a predictable, tasteless soup.
They should have at least made us splurge somewhere grand, but right now, the concept is neither here nor there.
‘This is driving me crazy.’
I shoved the dalgona into my mouth and suppressed a groan.
Naturally, I had tried to pivot the direction of this program several times before we set off.
Anything from a grueling farm-work concept to a horror special would have been fine. As long as it could make it even a little bit stimulating.
But surprisingly, none of it worked.
—Ah, that’s a bit…. right?
—Yes, I don’t think that’ll work.
Everything was cut at the entrance.
The production team slipped away like eels, saying they had already finished talking with the agency.
‘If these bastards are so good at smooth-talking, why are they obsessed with healing?’
They just did a quiz show where they teased actors right before this, so why are they doing this to us?
I smacked my lips bitterly.
‘Are we too famous now?’
Since TeSTAR is doing so well, it seems they’re playing it safe, fearing that if they push us too hard, we might complain or the fans might get angry.
It’s a plausible enough situation, which just makes it leave a bitter taste. The dalgona is bitter, fuck.
“Heh~ Moon-dae, Moon-dae, look at this! There’s even eel here!”
“Wait a sec.”
I decided to just find more work to do for now.
Since it’s come to this, I might as well carve out an image as a harmonious workaholic to at least gain something for our image.
‘If there isn’t any work, I’ll make some.’
Thanks to that, the sweet and sour pork we made for dinner, including all sorts of unnecessary steps, turned out amazingly well.
…I hope they can at least count this as a mukbang. Please.
Attempts to weave in content continued, but no matter how much I thought about it, it just wasn’t working.
It was shockingly peaceful.
‘We’re doomed.’
Still, something did come up after dinner on the first day.
The guys who had gone to the house below came back carrying something.
“Ta-da!”
“Whoa….”
A beaming Ryu Cheong-woo placed a puppy with a black nose and white fur onto the veranda.
The little guy energetically moved its four paws.
“Woof!”
“…….”
I almost reached out without thinking, but then I pulled back.
A ball of fluff small enough to be picked up instantly.
“I met the camera director’s grandmother, and she said it’s one of the puppies her dog gave birth to.”
“It kept following us, so we said okay and brought it along!”
“I-its name is Mung-ge.”
“Woof!”
The dog squirmed as it got stuck between me and Bae Se-jin. Bae Se-jin’s face turned bright red.
“C-can I hold it?”
“You should probably grab it by the sides here.”
I watched the dog’s stupid, thoughtless-looking face and its tail wagging so hard it looked like it would fly off.
‘This… might actually be okay.’
Because people love dogs.
Besides, looking at it, it’s clearly a mutt, so there’s no risk of unnecessary controversy. Hmm. Good.
I nodded inwardly with a fairly pleased heart.
“Since this puppy has come to TeSTAR’s house, it needs a stage name~ How about Moon-deng-deng?”
“Hey.”
I deliberately overreacted to Keun Se-jin’s bullshit and dashed across the yard with Keun Se-jin and the dog.
“Hahaha!”
I wondered if my threshold for laughter had become too low, but regardless, the members and staff laughed.
…It might not be so bad. From that day on, the dog slept with us in the middle of the ondol room.
After that, small chores continued.
Digging up potatoes, watering crops, feeding ducks, giving massages to the residents.
And what we’re doing now is delivering groceries.
“Heave-ho!”
“We’re almost done.”
We were distributing goods to farmhouses located a bit further away.
Moving along the country roads with the dog was perfect for doing without thinking.
And on the way back.
“Oh, should we take a break over there?”
“Good call!”
Since there are no restrictions, we can use our time however we want.
That’s why, in the late afternoon just before sunset, we could park the cart attached to the bicycle and just sit in the pavilion.
“I’m going to lie down~”
“Me too!”
And we could even sprawl out completely.
‘We’re doing all sorts of things.’
I lay down with them for the sake of the shot, but I doubted if this would even make the final cut.
Just then, Seon A-hyun, who was lying next to me, muttered softly.
“T-this kind of thing… is nice too.”
“…….”
“It’s been a while… since I’ve spent time… like this, without any worries.”
“…I guess so.”
We had been running hard without looking back. It’s a profession where you fall if you stop, after all.
‘To the point where I even make plans to rest efficiently when I do take a break.’
…It’s inevitable that it’s been a while since we’ve had a time like this.
Time passing without a purpose.
“One per person. No more.”
“Uuuu….”
Bae Se-jin, who had just run to the supermarket, bit into a popsicle he brought back.
It was fruit-flavored.
Swoosh— swoosh—
The grass swayed in the wind.
“It smells good.”
“Yeah.”
It was quiet.
Lying in the pavilion, I realized that I was in a quite relaxed state.
“…….”
Maybe… something like this wouldn’t be so bad.
‘Is this… why healing variety shows keep coming out?’
Looking back, they seem to pour out because they’re secretly popular; there might be a demand for this feeling of tension being released.
‘It certainly feels like moving away from the cutthroat battle for results.’
I adjusted my head. And I thought.
‘…Should I just leave it be this time?’
It seemed like enjoying a variety show for once without any other thoughts wouldn't interfere much with clearing the mission.
Should I try entrusting the content to the production team’s editing skills just this once?
‘Maybe it’s because I took my first steps into variety shows with <Idol Inc.> that I’ve only been looking for overly stimulating things.’
Without knowing the taste of organic content.
I slowly enjoyed the sweetness of the ice cream and rested my head on the floor.
The crowdedness of this small pavilion wasn't so bad.
Two peaceful days passed like that.
Just as the members and I were finally getting used to this unremarkable life.
“Hello, everyone!”
“Good morning!”
The production team, who arrived like clockwork every morning, appeared again and called for us.
‘They’re probably going to give us more small tasks.’
However, today, there was something they did before the chore briefing.
“Everyone, shall we play a mini-game for a moment?”
“A mini-game?”
“Yes. There was a small event this morning, so let’s decide what happened there through a mini-game!”
“Ooh.”
The mini-game was a simple game against the production team.
We had played them occasionally so far, and when we won, we earned snacks or fireworks and such.
So everyone naturally agreed and participated.
“Whoa~ It seems like our Mung-ge is always with Moon-dae.”
“Haha, I guess since he’s a puppy, he feels a similar vibe.”
“…Hyung.”
Even Ryu Cheong-woo is doing this now.
I participated without much tension while petting the dog, and I lost.
“Ah.”
“Well, it happens.”
“It’s okay! Let’s just work more!”
No one was particularly shaken. It was just an atmosphere of laughing and encouraging each other.
“Then we’ll pick a penalty slip to see what happened in our event.”
“Okay~”
Based on the trend so far, the penalty slips had things like ‘One volunteer activity today’ or ‘Go buy corn’ written on them.
And there were only two slips left.
“Let’s have Rae-bin pick.”
“Understood!”
Today’s player, Kim Rae-bin, vigorously picked one of the two remaining penalty slips.
And he froze.
“…??”
“Rae-bin?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Rae-bin, please read it~”
At the production team’s call, Kim Rae-bin opened his mouth, his pupils trembling.
“Early this morning, an unidentified night visitor broke in… and made off with all of TeSTAR’s precious <Carrot Coins>?”
“…!”
Wh… what?