Chapter 305
Chapter 305
Even at the meeting that day, Kim Rae-bin’s nervousness was palpable.
-It’s okay, Rae-bin. You’ve done great so far.
-Of course! Even if it doesn’t work out, it just means we don’t have an ear for music! But there’s no way it won’t work, right?
-That’s right. Rae-bin’s songs are good!
-…Thank you.
His complexion only seemed to improve slightly after hearing the others' encouragement.
But once the lid was actually opened…
-So, we’re going with numbers 2, 4, and 5? Okay. Then Rae-bin’s number was…
-…It was number 3.
-…!
His arrangement hadn’t even made the rankings.
To put it simply, he was disqualified.
It sounds ridiculous to describe it so nonchalantly, but it was something no one had anticipated.
‘Kim Rae-bin’s arrangement was rejected…?’
Until now, this guy’s arrangements had made the final cut so consistently that you could practically call it a certainty.
Of course, there were times when his work wasn't adopted in its entirety. However, at the very least, crucial parts of his drafts were reflected, and he had always participated in the final production.
That was why the members talked about the next steps out of habit.
-Now our Rae-bin will do a cool job arranging the audio for the concert too~
But for the first time since their debut, he had failed.
‘And after he spent days without sleep clinging to that work.’
“…….”
I scrolled through the "Concert Arrangement Blind Voting Results" that had arrived via email and turned off the screen.
Then, I leaned back with my arms crossed.
‘There could be many reasons.’
Maybe the direction was different, or the AR team poured out good drafts because it suited their taste, or perhaps they just had more time to work on it.
But why did it have to be now?
‘For Kim Rae-bin, this is no different from being pushed into a slump at the most critical moment. Dammit.’
Even so, it would be stupid to overturn the results of the vote right now.
Given his personality, he wouldn't be happy about it anyway, and I couldn't afford to lower the quality just to coddle his feelings.
‘That would just make the situation worse without any benefit.’
But leaving it like this was also a stupid move.
“…….”
I stood up.
I was going to find the guy who had shut himself in his room quietly after the morning concert meeting.
However, I didn't have to go far. Kim Rae-bin was sitting on the living room sofa.
Beside him were a surprisingly firm Cha Yu-jin, Seon A-hyun with a worried expression, and Keun Se-jin looking troubled.
Cha Yu-jin held something out to Kim Rae-bin.
“Kim Rae-bin, eat this.”
Kim Rae-bin was already wearing his coat and socks. It was obvious they had caught him just as he was trying to head out.
“I’m not eating. I’m just going to the studio for a moment…”
“Why the studio?”
“…!”
The guys who were talking turned to look at me. Kim Rae-bin swallowed hard and then muttered in a low voice.
“If I don’t work on fixing the flaws, I won’t be able to produce results that people will be satisfied with next time…”
“Kim Rae-bin, do better next time! It’s okay to fail once. No problem, it’s fine!”
However, Kim Rae-bin didn't show irritation or agreement at Cha Yu-jin’s words.
“Whether it will be fine or not hasn't been determined yet.”
He simply whispered quietly.
“But since I failed this time, the probability of it not being fine has increased. Therefore, to decrease that probability, I must prepare more…”
“…….”
A brief silence followed.
“Rae-bin, why don’t you rest a bit?”
“T-That’s right. There’s still a lot of time until the concert… You need to save up your strength…!”
Words poured out in an instant.
They probably thought something might happen if they let him go to the studio like that.
‘I think so too.’
It would be better if he were angry or frustrated, but this looked like a compulsive symptom. Keun Se-jin sat right next to him and patted his shoulder.
“Even monkeys fall from trees sometimes, right? Let’s just think about our stage and rest a bit~ Rest is important too, you know?”
I should… back them up.
I spoke up.
“You’ve been running without a break until now, so give your brain a rest. Muscles grow when you rest, and you haven’t rested enough.”
“Rest.”
In the end, Kim Rae-bin nodded reluctantly. I suppressed a sigh.
The timing was terrible.
A few days passed.
Kim Rae-bin didn't go to the studio as promised, but his complexion was still poor. It seemed the shock of his first failure hadn't worn off yet.
Still, after spending a busy time filming promotional videos for the tour, things became relaxed again because some of the stage drafts hadn't come out yet.
‘It’s quiet.’
Perhaps because I hadn't properly adjusted to the changed schedule, my body woke up at dawn.
‘Should I get some water?’
I quietly stepped out of the room so as not to wake my roommate.
And then I discovered something unexpected. Light was leaking from outside the living room balcony.
The light source was too close to be coming from beyond the window. It looked like the glow of an electronic device…
‘An intruder?’
Surely no one would be crazy enough to rappel down from the roof… well, actually, it was possible.
Without limiting the scope of my thoughts, I approached cautiously. I pulled up my emergency contacts just in case I needed to report it.
But the person outside… was indeed a person, but not a stranger.
“Kim Rae-bin.”
“…!”
Kim Rae-bin, who was sitting on the tiles, turned around, startled.
“H-Hyung-nim.”
The way he was wearing headphones and the program on the screen… anyone could see he was working.
This idiot had sneaked out to the balcony at dawn and was working while crouching there.
“What are you doing?”
“That is…”
“You’re working on a song.”
Was this why he looked so tired during the day?
No wonder his complexion wasn't recovering. This fool…
I closed the balcony door, strode inside, and stood in front of him.
“I was just…”
Kim Rae-bin hurriedly tried to clear his things, but ended up pressing the keyboard haphazardly.
The laptop window changed.
Kim Rae-bin was… monitoring while working.
[Concert Arrangement Blind Voting Results]
It was the same group email with the same title I had seen a few days ago.
‘This is…’
Looking at Kim Rae-bin’s recent state, he wouldn't have been looking at that with the productive thought of getting motivated or inspired.
He was already shocked enough as it was.
And… that email didn't just contain the voting results.
To establish a rational direction for the combinations, people had anonymously written why they chose or didn't choose each number.
But you could roughly guess who was who by the way they spoke.
-Number 4 is the most fun.
-2 and 5 are smooth and nice to listen to~ Fighting! ^^
-They were all good, but 5 is the most natural. I didn't choose 1 or 3 because they seem to be a matter of personal taste.
“…….”
This was the reason we couldn't even say hypocritical things like, "Your song was the best, you just got unlucky."
The members had all participated in that vote together.
…And I had also left a comment for each number. Unfortunately, even under Kim Rae-bin’s candidate song.
-The sound is excessive.
“…….”
For the past few days, Kim Rae-bin had been keeping that peer evaluation open and reading it repeatedly in silence.
And among these comments, there wasn't a single person who said Kim Rae-bin’s song was good.
‘Shit… seriously.’
Was he trying to work while reflecting on this? At this hour?
“Listen.”
I sat down in front of him and met his eyes.
“The majority isn't always right. In reality, the public might like your arrangement more.”
“…….”
“Don’t worry so much about this result. It’s just one concert arrangement.”
Kim Rae-bin suddenly replied.
“But, Hyung, you also judged that the quality of my arrangement was lacking.”
“…….”
“The feedback that it was excessive… came from you, Mundae-hyung.”
“I’m not a composer, you don’t have to believe my words unconditionally. Rather than what others say, your own sense or…”
“No!”
Kim Rae-bin hung his head low.
“Your judgment of songs has always been objective and excellent, Hyung. You’ve never been wrong, but I failed to arrange it properly…”
“…….”
I felt like I’d been hit in the head.
So he was even more shocked because of this.
‘He noticed that my judgment of songs is exceptionally good.’
It was thanks to the trait, ‘Catchy Ear (A)’. I doubt he realized it was an abnormal thing like a skill, but since he’s a guy with good musical senses, he noticed it immediately.
-Mundae-hyung’s choices are always excellent.
He felt he had received a harsh review from the evaluator whose objectivity he trusted the most.
‘Sigh…’
I felt a bitter taste in my mouth.
I won’t lie. To be honest, even now, I don’t think Kim Rae-bin’s arrangement this time was very good.
‘It was too conventional for Kim Rae-bin.’
It was to the point where I would have believed the AR team had produced it.
And since this trait was something I obtained through the status window, it was definitely guaranteed…
‘Wait, status window?’
At that moment, several cases I had experienced flashed through my mind.
“…….”
I abruptly pulled up Kim Rae-bin’s status window.
I hoped it wasn't the case, but a new term had been added at the very end.
!Status Effect: Repeat Mark
Damn it.
[Repeat Mark]
: Lost treading in place.
A backlash of the ‘Trait: Maestro (S)’. Decreased sensitivity.
“B-But… when you said it was excessive, did you mean there were too many elements in the composition? Then if I take a little out here… could you tell me how this sounds? Is it better than before? Has it improved?”
“…….”
This… this won't do.
It was clear this guy had completely lost his mind.
I get it now. The reason Kim Rae-bin had seemed resilient to criticism before was that he could immediately think of and present alternatives.
But now, that system seemed to have completely collapsed. He was being dependent.
‘Shit…’
I took the headphones he was holding out, but I didn't put them on. Instead, I asked back.
“…How does it sound to you?”
I heard Kim Rae-bin sobbing in a low voice.
“I don’t know… I tried to reflect as many things as people said were good to produce a result you could look forward to… but I don’t know if I did it right.”
“Do what you want to do.”
“I… can’t even specifically visualize what I want to do…”
I understood what this meant too.
‘The balance is broken.’
I know this guy has a humble side that tries to sincerely accept other people’s opinions.
But at the same time, he had faith in his own abilities.
An instinctive level of conviction that if he liked it, it was good, and if he didn't, it was mediocre.
So even when given feedback, he would filter it himself, interpret it, and absorb it based on his own judgment.
He was the type to run straight ahead according to his own understanding and inspiration.
‘It’s his basic personality.’
Just look at how he interpreted T-Holic’s remarks as them being family.
But this time, the pattern had changed.
When an unimaginably high amount of praise poured in from an unspecified multitude, he was overwhelmed by that direct saturation.
‘Instead, he lost his conviction.’
The thought that he shouldn't disappoint and the pressure to produce perfect results destroyed his enjoyment.
Since he lost his "my pace" personality there, the song lost its individuality.
And when he received a harsh review, he panicked completely and started caring too much about that evaluation. Because it was the first ‘failure of ability’ in his life.
‘It’s a vicious cycle.’
I suppressed a curse.
After calming down the guy who looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment, I confiscated the laptop.
“Stop this for now. Even without this, there’s plenty to do, and you’re a talented guy. Just let it go for now.”
“…….”
“I’m not saying this because I think you can’t do it, but if you get insomnia from this, it’ll be a bigger problem.”
“If I just finish one…”
“No.”
I took the laptop away. Then, after hesitating, I spoke.
“…If you were doing it because it was fun, I wouldn't interfere, but right now, this is ruining your condition. You can’t even sleep.”
“…….”
Kim Rae-bin hung his head low.
As I patted his shoulder, I only realized that I was terribly untalented at this kind of thing.
‘Dammit.’
I needed a plan.
Kim Rae-bin participated in the schedule diligently even after that dawn.
But his previous lively vibe was shattered.
And one of the guys who noticed it found the reason in my room.
“Park Moon-dae, that’s his laptop, isn’t it?”
Keun Se-jin spoke seriously.
“Just let him do it. You’re going to kill the kid at this rate.”
“…….”
After roughly ruffling my hair, I answered a beat late.
It was the solution I had been pruning and refining for several days.
“Then look into booking a mountain cabin.”
“…? What?”
I wasn't joking.
I recalled the details of Kim Rae-bin’s ‘Status Effect’.
The backlash of the Maestro trait, which increased the speed of song production to a level that could almost be considered industrial.
The decline of the exceptional sensitivity Kim Rae-bin possessed.
‘In the end, the backlash happened because he became obsessed with results and efficiency.’
Then it’s simple.
Let’s try some non-productive creation that has nothing to do with TeSTAR’s performance.
So, I began planning a healing course with the kind of trashy utility I had never considered in my life.
A training camp for self-development.
“Let’s just… head into the mountains for once.”
Not as a destination, but as a means.