Chapter 301
Chapter 301
T-Holic’s Show Business was a studio variety show, a genre that had largely vanished, pushed aside by the rise of observational reality programs.
Unlike observational shows that relied on editing to create interesting situations, this was a battlefield where only the truly funny survived.
“Ahahaha!! I’m dying here.”
“What is it? What happened?”
“No, listen… Do you know what Won-seok hyung just said? ‘Are all idols these days that good-looking?’”
The spot-on impression triggered a burst of laughter even among the staff. The member who had been called out spoke up sheepishly.
“Hey, I wasn’t the only one surprised.”
“What? Yes, you were.”
“Hyung, didn’t you know? If we debuted today, we would’ve flopped. Guys, let’s not forget that and stay humble.”
“No way. Being born at the right time is a talent in itself!”
“Stop it! You’re making me sad!”
Just look at them firing off lines the second the cameras started rolling.
They were practically professional comedians at this point, but thanks to their idol image, that very trait became their character. Whether it was viewed with prejudice or indulgence, it worked.
‘That’s why it’s bound to be a struggle for a solo guest to shine here.’
In a show they created for themselves, where they even controlled the spotlight, a guest had no choice but to rely entirely on the hosts.
To make matters worse, these guys were massive seniors. Most guests would already be at a disadvantage just based on the professional hierarchy.
“Wow, people were actually born after the year 2000?”
“You guys are so cute.”
Naturally, T-Holic would take the lead, setting the stage and practically spoon-feeding their juniors to maintain the atmosphere. Then, the comments would look something like this:
The moment you lost your momentum, you lost the spotlight, and the guest’s presence would shrink until they were just another prop on the set.
However, if there was someone who didn’t give a damn about seniority or anything else, the story changed.
“I’m not that cute! I’m cool!”
“Huh?”
Cha Yu-jin suddenly raised his hand and shouted.
Perhaps it was their first time facing such a fierce(?) rejection so early on, as the T-Holic members stood there with their mouths agape.
‘I knew he’d do that.’
Cha Yu-jin didn’t really know who T-Holic was.
Seniority meant nothing to him; he was just chatting away with his usual enthusiasm. And it didn’t even come across as particularly rude. He was a foreigner, after all.
“O-oh, really?”
“Yes! I’m a tiger.”
“I see. Our friend Cha Yu-jin is a tiger.”
“That’s right! Tiger~ Like a T!”
“T!”
“Hyung, don’t try to catch the rhythm just to look cool.”
People would likely let it slide regardless of what he did. Cha Yu-jin’s "American vibe" was already famous.
‘And the others will cover for him on their own.’
The T-Holic guys, who were used to keeping the show entertaining and hyping up the mood as a habit, couldn't exactly get angry or act awkward toward Cha Yu-jin.
‘Plus, there’s someone right next to him to neutralize the situation.’
“Cha Yu-jin! When someone gives you a compliment like calling you cute, you should accept it graciously!”
It was Kim Rae-bin.
He seemed to think he was whispering, but since he was wearing a mic, it was completely useless.
“I did accept it! I didn’t reject it!”
“You downplayed it by saying you weren’t that cute. It could sound rude if you’re not careful!”
“I meant that my coolness is even bigger! Thank you for the cuteness.”
“Uh, okay.”
“No, no, we get it! We understand!”
“Thank you so much for your understanding! I will show you my best efforts today.”
“To that extent?”
The sight of the T-Holic members hurriedly bowing back to Cha Yu-jin and Kim Rae-bin, who were bowing deeply… was hilarious.
‘Good impact.’
I noticed a few T-Holic members in the back making eye contact and laughing. They had likely concluded that a dynamic where they were the ones struggling would also be entertaining.
“Right, the very adorable, cute, and cool TeSTAR!”
“Hehe.”
“Wait, is this what Gen Z is like? Do we seem old?”
“Hyung, we’re an idol group where everyone is in their thirties. In this industry, we’ve already got one foot in the grave.”
The dynamic was set: T-Holic, the older generation who didn't understand the youth, struggling to adapt to a new sensibility. They were using Cha Yu-jin’s unstoppable momentum to their advantage.
‘The focus is still on T-Holic, though.’
TeSTAR had taken a position slightly opposite T-Holic as the "it" idols of the moment. And within that, I was faithfully playing my role as the quiet, sensible one.
“So, Moon-dae-ssi, you’re the main vocalist, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Ah, I really enjoyed your cover of my song, ‘Party in Me’!”
“Don’t lie, you were in the army then!”
“No! I listened to it while I was on leave!”
“Ah, I’m truly honored. Thank you.”
“Yeah~ Moon-dae hyung is a really good singer!”
I sang a snippet of the song upon request and received applause. I did all the typical things an idol appearing for promotion would do to secure at least a minimum amount of screen time.
They probably had a handle on things by now.
‘Ah, this guy has a pretty normal personality, so we’ll leave him as is and pull the content from those two.’
Since they were veterans of these kinds of shows, they would have calculated the value quickly.
‘Well, I doubt they went as far as pre-screening my variety show appearances.’
At most, they would have checked our recent activities and chart performance. The more they thought of me as having a calm personality, the better.
“Alright, alright, that concludes our self-introduction intro!”
Once they felt they had extracted enough funny moments from Cha Yu-jin and Kim Rae-bin’s banter, they moved on.
This was effectively the main corner. It was the segment for full-blown humor, usually involving games.
In the past, they’d done things like playing basketball without a ball, chairs being launched into ball pits, or drawing portraits with their feet and guessing who they were.
“It’s time for Track 2 of Show Business, the game that reveals our true hearts!”
Since it was the main corner, I had come prepared with a few predictions about the type of game it would be. The most likely candidate was…
“The game we’ll be playing with TeSTAR is none other than—That Sounds Right!”
“Pfft.”
Right. That was it.
I cleared my throat, nearly choking. I couldn't help it; the phrase was far too familiar.
‘I’m glad I looked it up beforehand.’
When I first saw that on WeTube, I almost spat out the water I was drinking.
“Hyung, staying hydrated is important.”
Right, thanks. I drank the water Kim Rae-bin handed me while listening to T-Holic’s flashy hosting.
‘At least the corner I expected showed up.’
It was a segment that had appeared roughly once every three episodes recently. It had received a great response, so I figured they’d use it when a top-tier group appeared.
[That Sounds Right!]
Just hearing the title, it might sound like you’re supposed to persuade the opponent, similar to the trait I possessed. It was similar, but different.
The youngest member of T-Holic held a voice-modulating microphone and proceeded with mock seriousness.
“Each team will choose one of two arguments to persuade the opponent. The game ends when one team is logically persuaded. A terrifying penalty awaits the losing team.”
“The winner of the mini-game gets to choose their argument first. Well then, good luck.”
Does the premise sound normal? But these guys hid a trap in every game. It usually revealed itself after the mini-game, when the arguments were unveiled.
“Ta-da!”
[Our team’s goal for next year]
[Receive 1 Billion Won VS Get Stranded]
“…???”
“Ahahaha!! They’re seriously crazy!!”
“Welcome to Show Business, boys~”
The balance was completely broken.
T-Holic, having won the mini-game, gleefully chose the former.
“One billion won! One billion won!”
“We’re going to show these Gen Z kids who chose getting stranded what’s what~”
If you only looked this far, you’d think the upcoming segment would be boring. It looked like it would just be a one-sided beatdown of the guests.
However, the second trap was revealed in the next moment.
“Everyone, I said the game ends when you are ‘logically persuaded,’ right?”
“…….”
“Wait, no way?”
“That’s right! The team that gets persuaded by the most plausible, logical argument wins!”
In other words, it was a debate of sophistry.
The goal was to reasonably surrender to the opponent’s argument.
What this meant was that you had to explain your own side as nonsensically as possible while being "convinced" by what the opponent said.
So now, T-Holic could only win if they were persuaded by the idea that ‘getting stranded is better than receiving one billion won.’
On the other hand, TeSTAR just had to accept the obvious premise of ‘receiving one billion won instead of getting stranded.’
“Isn’t this a scam?!”
“It is not!”
‘Well played.’
It was a setup where the hosts would get laughs by failing miserably while making the guests look good by letting them win.
‘As expected, they’re reflecting the top comments from WeTube.’
As is often the case with newly launched production companies, the crew here seemed to care more than necessary about communication. It was common to see the top comment of a video reflected in the episode after next.
That’s why I had predicted a few variations while watching their previous videos, and I hit the mark.
The flow after this was obvious.
“Oh? Well… if someone suddenly gets a huge amount of money, they tend to get ruined. If someone wants to retire now, I think they should take the billion won!”
“Right, right!”
“I don’t want to retire! I want to do this for a long time!”
“Right~ Then what should you do? Huh? There’s only one answer left, right?”
“I’ll take the billion won and not retire! I won’t get ruined. Our members are strong!”
“Wow, so bold…”
“Still, money is a scary thing~ No, I’m not saying don’t take the billion won!”
They would shamelessly make absurd claims while teasing the guests who were speaking common sense, all while acting unnecessarily flustered.
After milking the guests’ reactions to their antics, they would gracefully lose in a heartwarming way…
‘But then they’d be the ones controlling the entire flow.’
We didn't come here just to be used in a game you rigged.
I smirked.
‘The best way to play this game?’
It was simple. You just had to bolster the opponent’s logic. It was the playstyle the production team would have expected.
If we followed that sensible flow, we’d be swept away by them.
So… we were going the opposite way.
I rested my chin on my interlaced fingers on the table.
“Sunbaenim.”
“Yes, Moon-dae-ssi, please speak~”
“I tried my best to understand and be persuaded by your side’s argument in order to win, but…”
I made a solemn declaration.
“No matter how much I think about it, the argument we were given is correct.”
“…??”
“I believe our team members would choose getting stranded over one billion won.”
“What??”
“W-what are you talking about?”
I replied seriously.
“Because you can learn values more precious than money from being stranded.”
“Pardon?”
“What do you learn?”
I answered clearly to Cha Yu-jin, who was nudging me and asking quietly.
“Realistically, any place we could get stranded within our current range of activity is somewhere we could be rescued from within a few days. During that time, you gain a new experience.”
“Aha! You’re right.”
Cha Yu-jin nodded vigorously.
“Then getting stranded is fine! I like it!”
“……??”
The youngest T-Holic member, acting as the MC, cut in.
“Wait a minute! You’re going to lose if you keep this up?!”
“I can’t abandon my convictions just for the sake of one segment.”
“You have convictions about being stranded?!”
“Guys, what’s wrong with you… Hyung is getting scared.”
As the youngest T-Holic member freaked out at the chaotic turn of events, even Kim Rae-bin nodded seriously.
“I concur.”
“What?”
“Exactly.”
“Yes. Because we have actually been stranded during a variety show shoot before.”
Kim Rae-bin’s eyes sparkled as he spoke.
“And we learned a great deal through that experience.”
“Wait.”
“I composed the title track for our last album while we were stranded. I worry that choosing the former between a billion won and being stranded would be synonymous with abandoning musical achievement in pursuit of money!”
“Why would you worry about that?!”
For a moment, Kim Rae-bin forgot this was a variety show and began to express his opinion with total sincerity. I knew he’d be like this once he got immersed in the topic itself.
“No… guys, think about it. Does this make sense? What kind of ‘being stranded’ is this?!”
“Just how much do you guys get paid in settlements that you look at a billion won like it’s a piece of stone!”
I raised my hand.
“Now that I think about it, since the settlement amount increased because of the title track Rae-bin made while we were stranded, a certain amount of financial gain is actually included in that choice…”
“Oh~”
“I see!”
“Stop reacting like it makes sense, uwaaaah!”
The filming set began to descend into pure chaos.
Just as planned.
A few days later, on a weekday night.
“Wow! They’re on here too~”
A graduate student smiled broadly at Moon-dae’s photo in the thumbnail and clicked on the pre-release video of T-Holic’s Show Business, which had climbed to the trending videos list.
And one minute later.
“Pffft!”
The graduate student spat out the coffee she was drinking.