Chapter 284
Chapter 284
Cold sweat trickled down my neck.
Actually, it might have just been sweat from the hike, but the situation made it feel chilling.
Because I was completely screwed.
‘A plane crash?’
This was the first I’d heard of it.
‘Organize… I need to organize my thoughts first.’
There had been absolutely no way for me to find out the exact cause of death for Park Moon-dae’s parents.
…By the time I took over, Park Moon-dae had already cleared out his studio apartment and disposed of his belongings.
I could only confirm his parents' names and ages. Just in case, I had searched for news articles using their names, ages, and region, but nothing came up.
‘So I thought it was a common accident that wouldn't make major headlines….’
A car accident was the natural assumption. So, I let others believe that if they misunderstood.
Like Ryu Cheong-woo.
—I guess my talking about the aftereffects of my car accident… must have sounded like a luxury to you.
The probability was high, and I figured even if it wasn't true, no one could prove otherwise.
But against those odds, a completely different type of accident had emerged as the cause.
And I… fuck, I’d been flying on planes just fine and even went skydiving.
“…….”
Dammit.
Realizing I still had water in my mouth, I swallowed.
The canteen was almost empty. I felt like I could hear the ticking of the digital watch on my wrist.
The sound of the seconds I was wasting by delaying my answer.
Tick.
‘There’s no… rational excuse I can use.’
I was truly between a rock and a hard place.
The car accident, the fire, and my overreaction to Ryu Cheong-woo’s accident—everything aligned too perfectly with "Ryu Gun-woo’s" story.
And either way, trying to deny something he had already confirmed as fact wouldn't work.
‘He’s already certain.’
He had brought this up only after realizing that my words, my actions, and Park Moon-dae’s past didn't add up at all, and after mulling it over several times.
I slowly closed the canteen, my mind racing.
Ryu Gun-woo and Park Moon-dae.
Tick.
“…….”
Fine. If I were to build the most realistic hypothesis possible, there was one thing I could pull out.
‘I just have to add one more psychiatric disorder on top of amnesia.’
A psychopathological explanation where Park Moon-dae mistook Ryu Gun-woo’s circumstances for his own.
The story would be that because he received immense help from "Ryu Gun-woo" and they shared a deep emotional bond, he got their memories confused while trying to recover his own.
‘But… the moment I use that as an excuse, I’m headed straight for a hospital.’
That would mean an indefinite hiatus. This was… fuck, it would almost be better to just tell him about the Status Window.
‘No, explaining that I have a Status Window that no one else can see? What kind of bullshit is that?’
I’d be lucky if that was only misunderstood as delusional disorder.
‘Either way, all roads lead to a psychiatric ward.’
Rejected.
Tick.
Even in the midst of this, time was passing.
I didn't even have to look to know Ryu Cheong-woo was still staring at me. His gaze felt like a countdown.
‘This guy brought me all the way to the summit on purpose.’
My stamina was drained, the others weren't around, and he had backed me into a corner where there were no other factors to distract from the situation.
There was a limit to how much more time I could stall, but no brilliant solution came to mind.
‘Fuck, as if one would.’
I was cornered.
Tick.
I couldn't help it. I’d just have to wing it.
I opened my mouth to spout some nonsense like, "I didn't remember the plane crash, I just had a vague image of fire from an explosion and an accident while traveling, so I misunderstood—" But he beat me to the punch.
…The man himself.
“If it’s hard to talk about, it can’t be helped.”
“……!”
“Tell me when you feel like it.”
Ryu Cheong-woo spoke in a calm tone and tucked his canteen back into his bag.
Then, he lightly turned around.
“Shall we head down?”
That was it. Ryu Cheong-woo began to walk away slowly.
I kept my mouth shut and followed him down the mountain.
However, the tension remained. I knew the answer had only been delayed.
Moreover, I now had to come up with a reason for why I couldn't answer immediately.
‘This is driving me crazy.’
And so, an incredibly uncomfortable life in the dorm began.
A few days later.
“What… what are you doing?”
It was 2 AM. Bae Se-jin, who had come out to get some water, nearly tripped when he saw me sitting on the living room sofa.
“I couldn't sleep.”
“Then… you can just go in and lie down.”
“I don't really feel like it.”
Bae Se-jin stared at me with his mouth agape, and I avoided his gaze.
It must look pretty ridiculous, like I’d just tagged out with him.
But I wondered if anyone would have nerves thick enough to sleep peacefully in that room after having the contradictions of their life pointed out by their roommate and being given a deadline for an answer.
And the ominous peace of not having the topic mentioned at all for several days.
‘It’s like being in the eye of a hurricane.’
It would be better if that crazy bastard just threw a fit and called me a liar. What on earth was he thinking?
‘Dammit.’
I suppressed a sigh and leaned back against the sofa.
Still, it would be too obvious if I slept in the living room, so I planned to go back in once my head cooled down and I felt groggier.
‘Stalling until I’m tired enough to pass out the moment my head hits the pillow usually works.’
But Bae Se-jin seemed to have a different idea.
He looked at me with a peculiar expression, and then his face shifted as if he’d realized something.
He asked with a slightly hopeful look.
“Park Moon-dae, do you… want to swap rooms with me?”
Hey.
“I-I’m not saying I don't want to use my room, it’s just that you look like you’re in bad shape!”
How transparent.
I contemplated for a moment, then suppressed another sigh and shook my head.
“I have no intention of swapping.”
“…Really?”
“Yeah. Well, I’m sure it’ll get better as time goes on.”
It had to get better.
If things stayed awkward like this and we went into the comeback and content filming, everything would be ruined. It would just be building up toward a repeat of the Summer Package nightmare.
‘So I have to settle this.’
But there was no way. No explanation that Ryu Cheong-woo would find acceptable.
I rested my head on the back of the sofa. I felt a bitter taste in my mouth.
Bae Se-jin drank his water as intended and then slunk over to sit beside me.
“Ahem, Ryu Cheong-woo… he’s a good guy.”
“…Yeah. I know.”
“Uh, right. And you! You’re a good guy too!”
“…….”
You’re going to wake someone up, man.
Bae Se-jin’s ears turned red as he lowered his volume. After a few dry coughs, he spoke in a much softer voice.
“There are people who just don't click… but I don't think that’s the case with you two.”
“…….”
“If there’s something uncomfortable, just tell him honestly. Don't just hang out in the living room.”
I paused for a moment, then let out a short laugh.
“That sounds like advice born from experience.”
“It is.”
I thought he’d be startled, but Bae Se-jin nodded with surprising gravity.
“I stay in the living room because I’m more comfortable here, but you don't look comfortable at all.”
“…….”
“You want to get along with Cheong-woo. If that’s the case… he’s a pretty understanding guy, so if you just talk to him, he’ll listen.”
I’m sorry, but it’s the opposite situation. He’s probably the one who’s uncomfortable with me.
I shook my head. Even if I explained it, I’d just be thrusting a confusing situation onto him.
I should just say the right things and send him back to bed.
“I’ll try. Thanks for the help.”
“Ahem, well, I’m glad if it helped. Goodnight.”
“Yeah. Goodnight to you too, hyung.”
Bae Se-jin walked back to his room with his shoulders squared. He must have thought he’d accomplished something.
‘I guess he feels like he acted like a big brother.’
Watching him, my heart felt strangely lighter. I smiled, then suddenly recalled what Bae Se-jin had said.
‘Ryu Cheong-woo will listen if I just talk… huh.’
“…….”
I lay down in the living room and retraced my thoughts.
This time, I didn't focus on finding an "explanation that wouldn't be strange for me to give."
Instead, I focused on "what Ryu Cheong-woo wanted to hear."
I arranged the series of events he had experienced leading up to that question in chronological order, fitting the pieces together.
“…….”
A few hours later.
“Phew.”
I reached a conclusion.
It was a bit funny, but Bae Se-jin’s "big brother act" actually worked.
In the car on the way back from a recording schedule that day, I made a suggestion to Ryu Cheong-woo.
The suggestion was simple.
—How about a workout on Thursday morning?
—In the morning?
—Yeah, that’s the only time we’re both free.
Since we were pouring all our time into comeback preparations, our physical management mostly consisted of dieting and quick, intense calorie-burning routines.
As expected, it meant we didn't have time for a leisurely workout, which in turn meant I was willing to sacrifice one of my few meal and rest times for exercise.
Ryu Cheong-woo looked a bit puzzled, but he soon nodded.
—Sure, sounds good.
And now, at the promised time for our workout, he looked slightly surprised.
“Are you okay with this place?”
“Of course.”
It was the same hiking trail we had visited tirelessly over the past few weeks.
“Let’s go.”
There was no time for further talk, so I immediately started a light jog.
“Hoo.”
As it was nearing early summer, the mountain had grown hotter.
One might expect people to be out for a morning hike, but thanks to the weather, the crowds had thinned, leaving it quiet.
That was actually better.
‘No one will be eavesdropping.’
I stopped halfway up the mountain where there were almost no people.
Of course, I didn't stop just because it was deserted.
“Hmm?”
“I don't think we need to go all the way to the summit like you said. The view from here is the best.”
“Ah, really?”
Ryu Cheong-woo looked a bit awkward, but he soon nodded. He turned his gaze toward the scenery.
“It’s gotten much lusher.”
“It has.”
I followed his lead and looked at the view for a moment, catching my breath.
Then, I timed it.
‘He must have guessed by now.’
I had given him time to prepare mentally by taking the exact same route he had used to question me.
No, he probably guessed the moment I suddenly suggested a workout.
‘The answer to the contradictions he pointed out.’
Sure enough, Ryu Cheong-woo slowly spoke up.
“…Um, did you find something you wanted to say?”
I shook my head.
It wasn't that I had found something I wanted to say because a perfect excuse that fit the circumstances had come to mind.
What I had realized the previous night after hearing Bae Se-jin’s words was something else.
“It’s not that I have something I want to say… but there is something I should say.”
It was about justification.
Ryu Cheong-woo had the right to receive an answer to his doubts.
‘This guy accepted it and moved on, thinking I was lashing out at him because my parents' accident came to mind.’
Even after that, he had cooperated without protest when I went looking for "Ryu Gun-woo," claiming I’d suddenly remembered him. Simply because he might know him as a relative.
But now, all the reasons and explanations I’d given to get to that point were inconsistent.
‘It’s a miracle he isn't pissed off.’
He wasn't digging for information. He had just noticed contradictions that looked like deception while being caught up in my mess.
‘Honestly, even if I found a decent excuse here, it would be over the moment another contradiction appeared….’
At that point, it wouldn't be strange if he lost his mind and cut ties with me, group be damned.
Yet, even after figuring everything out, he had kept his mouth shut and waited a long time for the right timing.
Probably until I had recovered my physical and mental strength.
‘The reason he insisted on talking at the summit was probably just to have a quiet conversation after refreshing ourselves with some exercise….’
This wasn't malice or interference.
So, I reached the conclusion that I should at least tell him my sincere feelings, minus the unrealistic elements like resets or status windows.
‘Whether he’ll accept it is another matter.’
There was no explanation that would be fully convincing anyway. But if I had a conscience, I had to do at least this much.
I took a breath and spoke slowly.
“Hyung.”
“Yeah.”
“I know… my words and the situation might seem inconsistent right now.”
I reflexively reached into my pocket, then pulled my hand out upon realizing I didn't smoke anymore.
I continued slowly.
“I have never lied to you.”
“…….”
“Even if I try to… explain, the situation doesn't make much sense to me either… Ah, it’s not a mental issue. It’s not that I’m mistaking myself for someone else or identifying with them.”
This guy was the type who, with the best of intentions, might send me to a psychiatric ward if I wasn't careful. I suppressed a sigh and rubbed the back of my neck.
“I just… acted as myself.”
Ryu Cheong-woo didn't argue. I kept talking.
“It’s true that I’m uncomfortable with car accidents and fires because of my parents' accident. Of course, you might think I was just bullshitting with a fake reason during the Summer Package, but….”
“Wait.”
Ryu Cheong-woo interrupted, looking a bit flustered.
Then, he gave a bitter smile.
“Moon-dae. I think there’s a misunderstanding… It’s not that I don't trust you or that I’m trying to interrogate you.”
What?
“During the Summer Package? Anyone who saw you then could never say that pain was faked. I don't think you lied.”
I listened blankly to what he was saying.
“And… you saved my life while almost dying yourself. That is an absolute fact that will never change. Right?”
That was….
“Who would get angry at their life-saver just because their story doesn't add up? Don't worry about that.”
Ryu Cheong-woo slowly added.
“What I want to ask is this, Moon-dae.”
“…….”
“Are you in a situation where you need help right now?”