Chapter 278
Chapter 278
TeSTAR’s roommate assignments.
Is this the fourth time now?
By this point, the fans had come to accept it as a segment with its own history and tradition.
Up until now, we mostly did it through board games.
Since doing another similar game for the room assignments would feel a bit stale, we decided to change the field entirely.
“Hello, TeSTAR.”
“Hello!”
We had brought in experts.
Right now, the seven of us were sitting in a circle in the office of a research institute run by communication experts.
It was that staged soap opera seating arrangement where one side of the table is left empty for the camera. Since the camera and production crew were right in front of us, after all.
Still, everyone seemed natural, probably because we’d done this kind of setup so many times.
I checked the guys, who were looking at the expert with expectant faces.
The expert wore a gentle smile.
“I understand you’ve requested a consultation for your roommate assignments today. Is that correct?”
“Yes!”
Bae Se-jin answered loudly, his face full of life.
It was the most energetic I’d heard his voice in the past month; he was likely bursting with hope for a single room.
And here he was saying living in the living room was fine.
No matter how he put it, staying in the living room because it’s awkward to go into a bedroom is very different from staying there because you actually like it.
Keun Se-jin seemed to glance at Bae Se-jin with a dubious look, but in true filming fashion, the expression vanished in an instant.
The director of the institute stepped out from behind the expert, looked around at the grinning members, and spoke.
“Our Communication Research Institute uses an algorithm analysis based on the personalities, tendencies, and lifestyle habits of group members to…”
Skipping the PPL introduction part and getting to the conclusion, it was this:
“Through behavioral analysis and interviews, we plan to find and match the most suitable roommates for you.”
“Whoa!”
The so-called ‘Roommates are a Science.’
Sounds plausible enough.
To be honest, it felt like the typical packaging of a venture company following an existing business model, but it sounded impressive nonetheless.
The fans will enjoy this.
If they layered these analyses over clips of TeSTAR’s actual daily lives and habits, it would be great for highlighting our character traits.
It was the same principle as MBTI.
A sense of homogeneity from shared traits.
Image reinforcement from differing traits.
Keun Se-jin made a fuss again, trying to liven up the atmosphere.
“Wow, I’m actually getting nervous?”
“…”
I get it, so stop hitting my shoulder.
“Then we will begin with the group activity!”
“Ohhh!”
Soon the director disappeared, leaving only the expert to conduct the group interview.
The individual interviews were done earlier before the opening shot.
So this was the main event… Hmm. First, look at the problem that popped up.
[Here is a farmer who raises ducks and cows. One winter, this farmer decided to raise only one type of livestock.]
[Which livestock would it be?]
“Please feel free to give your answers.”
“…?”
This looked like one of those quizzes floating around the internet claiming to be an IQ test.
At best, it was a creativity question for a corporate job interview.
Where did the… expertise go?
The individual interviews had felt professional enough, but this seemed to be purely for the sake of the broadcast.
Well, it doesn’t really matter.
The content was what was important here.
I watched the others chatter away, timing my moment to join in.
“I think it would be ducks! Aren’t ducks easier to care for? Since it’s winter, you could even bring them indoors if you had to~”
“True. But wouldn’t it be hard to raise them if there are too many?”
“I know! Cows make more food! It’s cows. Go Cow!”
Everyone was being quite proactive.
I raised my hand and looked at the expert.
“Is there a correct answer to this question?”
“No. Please just freely exercise your imagination and reasoning skills~”
“Oh~”
As if the expert’s words were a catalyst, the members chimed in even more.
“Mmm, since it’s winter… Ah! Maybe they’re trying to make something like down comforters…?”
“That’s it! Ah~ You’re so smart, A-hyun~”
“A-hyun’s got a good idea!”
…No, looking closely, half of them were genuinely excited, while the other half were just trying to make good content.
They seemed to have realized the flaws in this format.
The structure was a bit hollow.
They weren’t even giving us a model answer; would just brainstorming aimlessly amongst ourselves be appealing as content?
“I’ll go with chickens.”
“Huh??”
“There was no rule saying I had to choose between ducks and cows, so I chose the livestock with the best economic efficiency.”
“Whoa.”
“Man, look at the brain on Moon-dae.”
I gave an appropriate answer, but I didn’t find the flow particularly interesting.
The expert closed the question like this:
“I’ve listened well to everything you’ve said. Thank you for your great opinions and answers.”
“Hehe.”
“No, thank you~”
There was no summary.
If they were only going to ask superficial questions instead of showing expertise in this part, it would have been easier to watch if they had at least categorized us into types based on our approaches.
Aren’t there plenty of those personality tests going around these days? They compare you to everything from drama characters to trees.
[You are the ‘Steadfast Pine Tree’ type!]
Something like that.
It’s not even like there’s a time limit or anything.
It felt dull because there was no easily felt stimulation.
I glanced at the production crew. I recognized a few people I’d worked with back when we did that variety show making hotteok abroad.
Don’t tell me they’re starting to get stuck in a rut.
This was a casting fail, you guys.
“I’ll give you the next question.”
Fortunately, after a few more similar Q&A rounds, a review finally came out during the mid-term briefing.
“Now, I’ve been observing your response attitudes a bit.”
The expert held up a piece of paper and began to speak skillfully.
“First, our Seon A-hyun! Because you are cautious and think deeply when making decisions, your response time tends to be a bit longer than the other group members.”
“Yes…”
“It’s not a weakness; it’s because you care a lot about the people around you while still searching for your own subjective view. I think you’ll become a wise leader in the future.”
“Th-that… yes…! Thank you….”
“Ohhh~”
Seon A-hyun’s face turned beet red as he hung his head. The guys around him clapped.
“And Bae Se-jin.”
“…! Yes!!”
Bae Se-jin, who had been smiling slightly at Seon A-hyun, jumped in surprise.
“Your intentions are clear, and I can see your will to do your best even in unfamiliar or uncomfortable environments.”
“That’s…”
This time, Bae Se-jin’s face turned bright red.
“You were especially proactive during the ‘Who has the key’ problem…”
In this manner, a round of very positive behavioral reviews for all seven members was completed.
Passing the two youngest and Keun Se-jin next to me…
“Our Ryu Cheong-woo is the type to step back and back up other people’s opinions, which I suspect is because of your role as the leader.”
“Hmm. That could be it.”
Ryu Cheong-woo gave a casual reaction with a grin. I knew he would, since he wasn’t the type to be particularly interested in this kind of thing.
And finally, it was me.
The expert met my eyes and spoke.
“Park Moon-dae is someone with a very broad perspective. People often say you ‘see the big picture’ as a habit, don’t they?”
“Hahaha! That’s right! That’s exactly it~”
“Moon-dae hyung is indeed that kind of person!”
A few of the guys responded enthusiastically, as if they’d been completely charmed by a smooth-talking swindler.
One guy in particular seemed to have truly come to trust this expert.
If Kim Rae-bin ever says he wants to start a business… I’ll have to stop him.
Regardless of how I felt, the expert finished on a pleasant note again.
“The way you frequently come up with unexpected ideas makes you look like the ‘idea bank’ the group absolutely needs.”
“Thank you.”
He was quite good at weaving words together. And it was nice that he spoke gently without unnecessarily poking at emotions.
He probably wasn’t just saying this based on what he saw now, but was matching his words to the data they’d received beforehand.
Still, it’s a bit bland.
Listening to him explain things through stories without any technical terms or analytical explanations meant there was no real point to his words.
I was half-joking earlier, but maybe it really would have been more fun to divide us into those internet personality types.
At least those have a clear, quirky charm.
I looked at the expert with a somewhat hollow feeling.
“Then, for the next question… Ah, let’s take a short break.”
“Okay~”
Receiving a signal from the production crew, the expert cut the scene appropriately.
Everyone relaxed at once.
I did the same.
“Whew.”
A bit disappointing.
It was weak.
I tried to predict the success or failure of this content before shrugging my shoulders.
Well, whatever.
We were already filming; there was no point worrying about it now. Let’s just work hard on the shoot.
“It was a fascinating experience. I feel like I’m getting to know myself more deeply!”
“I need an explanation for this! ‘Steadfast core’? What does that mean?”
…Since there were guys who were genuinely excited, the fans would at least find it heartwarming to watch.
If fan-service content achieved that much, it was a decent enough success.
“Just a moment…”
At that moment, the production crew quietly got up during the break and moved away, leaving only the cameramen and a small number of staff.
“Huh?”
“They said they’re going to meet the director.”
I see. Ryu Cheong-woo, who was sitting close to the crew, neatly summarized the situation.
The production side must have felt it was a bit lackluster while filming, too.
The expert standing in front of us also smiled, stood up, and headed for the hallway.
“Everyone, I’ll be heading to the restroom for a moment.”
“Sure, sure!”
The population density suddenly dropped significantly.
“Right, then…”
It happened at that very moment.
“Ugh!”
The expert, who was heading out the back door into the hallway… clutched the back of his neck and staggered backward.
And then he collapsed.
Thud.
…Creeeak.
The expert’s white coat slid through the gap in the door, getting halfway caught.
“…??”
“E-Excuse me??”
“What the?”
Cardiac arrest?
I tried to move, following the guys who were about to rush over.
However…
Suddenly, an iron shutter slammed down from right above that back door.
CLANG!
“What the hell?”
Suddenly, the path was blocked.
What the fuck.
It wasn’t just there.
An iron shutter also came down over the large door where the production crew had exited.
BANG!
CRASH!
“What’s going on?”
A fire? A terrorist attack?
I tried to check the windows immediately… but iron plates had already come down there as well.
Then the lights changed.
Whirrr—! Whaaaa—!
The red and green lights in every corner of the room flashed frantically, and a siren wailed.
“Guys, over here!”
At Ryu Cheong-woo’s voice, the members instantly pulled away from the walls and huddled together.
An emergency situation?
I need to secure my smartphone right now…
“Hey! Look over there!”
I turned my gaze at Bae Se-jin’s voice.
The giant screen where the questions had been appearing until just now.
It… had changed.
“Holy shit.”
[! AREA CLEAR !]
[Lockdown Complete]
Behind the blood-red letters, what looked like CCTV footage popped up in a split-screen view.
Videos of people collapsing and doors closing.
And… even the collapsed people staggering back to their feet.
[Zombie Virus Leak within the Research Institute]
[Time until Facility Detonation: 02 : 00 : 00]
“…”
What?
For a moment, silence fell among the guys who were lost for words.
It didn’t last long.
[01 : 59 : 57]
Because the countdown had started.
“…”
In an instant, the guys, their pupils trembling, exchanged bewildered glances. They seemed to be screaming:
What is this!
And a few seconds later.
We discovered a few people who were intentionally hiding in the corner.
…It was the production crew, holding back their laughter.
“Excuse me.”
“No way.”
“Camera director, come out. What is this?”
However, the two or three staff members refused to testify and sat stubbornly in the corner.
But their faces were still full of laughter.
Only after seeing that did the members realize the situation one by one.
“Aaaargh!”
“Fooled again!”
This was all a staged situation.
“Pffft-hehehe.”
In the meantime, the production crew gritted their teeth with the single-minded determination not to let their laughter get picked up by the microphones.
Bae Se-jin pointed fiercely at the screen.
“Zombies?!”
I get it.
I held my head and gave a bitter smile.
I guess they were planning to figure out our tendencies by our ability to handle unexpected situations.
I wondered why the research institute was so grand.
And by mixing in an absurd, unrealistic element like ‘zombies,’ they cleverly avoided situations that might trigger actual PTSD or other risk factors.
At the same time, they made it entertaining.
This is actually pretty clever, damn it.
The bland group interview just now was all buildup to set this off.
I really didn’t see this coming.
I take back what I said about it being predictable.
I see exactly… why the production crew cast them.
I could feel the blood rushing to my head.
“Wait, wait!! There’s a door back here!”
“What??”
“A door?”
Just then, Cha Yu-jin hurriedly shouted, pointing behind the production crew as if he’d found something.
“Hold on~ Ah, honestly, if you have a conscience, please move aside a bit, Noona!”
Keun Se-jin skillfully induced the writer to move and then placed his hand on a corner.
“Heave-ho~”
His right hand revealed a square iron plate. Then, beneath a red glowing light, a large ventilation shaft was revealed.
“Wow, how classic.”
“Is moving through here the right way?”
“It certainly seems like it.”
The guys, already immersed, began to exchange opinions rapidly.
Hmm.
The content looked like it would turn out fun. But looking at the situation now, they probably gave us a very tight time limit. Since it was a test of ‘disaster situation’ coping skills.
[1 : 56 : 23]
Four minutes had already passed.
But in terms of the broadcast, how deflating would it be if TeSTAR couldn’t escape from here?
The best outcome is to get out in a clean state without any help.
Thinking this far, the words the expert had just said suddenly came to mind.
—People often say you ‘see the big picture’ as a habit, don’t they?
Yeah, that’s right. I am a bit obsessed with the big picture.
I chuckled and dusted off my hands.
“Let’s go.”
Let’s make this good.
This roommate content was going to be one for the history books.