Chapter 259
Chapter 259
Night practice ended quickly, just as planned. After returning to the dorm and hopping into the shower, I replayed the conversation I’d had with Keun Se-jin in my head.
In the end, wasn't that what the bastard was getting at?
‘Seon A-hyun’s pride is being hurt… I see.’
He didn't want to show his embarrassing side—being hazed by peers—to a close friend his own age.
“Hmm.”
I wouldn’t deny it. It was a perspective I hadn't considered.
Maybe it was because he’d been following me around like a lost puppy since we first met on Idol Inc., but I never really felt like we were the same age.
‘To be honest, being "peers" is only true on the outside.’
If I had a conscience, I couldn't really call myself his peer. I might not remember being an office worker, but my memories up to age twenty-nine were crystal clear.
Even if we were technically the same age, it felt ambiguous.
‘And I wasn't even sure if Seon A-hyun was the type to care about things like that.’
If it were anyone else, maybe, but Seon A-hyun was so kind he almost seemed mindless. I figured he’d just accept the help gratefully.
However, I did concede one point.
‘I can’t solve everything for him every time.’
No matter how much it was for the sake of smooth group activities, I realized I’d been giving him a lot of directions whenever a problem cropped up.
Is it time for Seon A-hyun to handle things himself?
“He’s definitely got tenacity.”
I shrugged.
Aside from that brief moment at the awards ceremony, his complexion hadn't looked particularly dark, so I decided to let it be. I’d just do enough investigating to make sure he wasn't overexerting himself.
Click.
I stepped out of the shower and headed for the fridge. Since I was cutting weight, milk was out of the question this late at night; I settled for ice water.
Seon A-hyun wasn't in the room.
‘He must be in the living room.’
Before I turned the corner of the hallway, I heard voices.
“S-so… if it feels like… like they’re praising you because they d-don’t like you… what would you think?”
“They praise me even though they don’t like me?”
“Y-yeah. Something like that.”
It was a conversation between Cha Yu-jin and Seon A-hyun.
Cha Yu-jin’s blunt response followed immediately.
“Why would they praise you if they don’t like you?”
“I-I don’t know… Maybe because they can’t get angry?”
“OK, OK!”
The kid answered brightly.
“Then I just say, ‘I know~’! I already know I’m good at it!”
“I-is that so…?”
“Yes. I like praise!”
It was a staggering display of mental gymnastics—digesting any praise as genuine, regardless of the intent behind it.
I doubted Seon A-hyun could use that method with such peace of mind, though.
‘Why on earth is he asking Cha Yu-jin for advice…?’
It was a bizarre choice.
I considered waiting for their conversation to end, but realizing that would be even weirder, I just walked out.
As soon as our eyes met, Seon A-hyun scrambled to his feet.
“M-Moon-dae. Are you getting water?”
“Yeah.”
“Here…!”
A glass of water was promptly presented to me.
“…Thanks.”
‘This guy’s pride is hurt because he receives my help?’
I couldn't shake the feeling that he still acted like a voluntary lackey… but regardless, I’ll drink the water.
I gulped it down, waiting for him to resume his talk with Cha Yu-jin.
But the conversation didn't continue. Seon A-hyun just hovered flusteredly before asking me a question.
“W-why…?”
Ah. I must have been staring at them too much.
“Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if tomorrow’s practice was at 7:00.”
“Ah, yes. It’s at 7:00…!”
“Right, thanks.”
I ended the conversation awkwardly.
There was no particularly strange behavior. He seemed a bit high-strung, but…
“Good~”
Just then, Keun Se-jin walked out of the living room, smirking as he patted me on the back and passed by.
…For some reason, I got the feeling the bastard was making fun of me.
‘Whatever, fuck it.’
Everyone can just do their own thing.
There was a hell of a lot to do before the comeback. I should just focus on my own work.
“7:00 is too early…”
“Go to sleep already.”
I went into the room, did another round of monitoring and stage configuration checks, and then lay down on the bed.
Seon A-hyun came in quite late to sleep. His efforts to remain silent were commendable.
‘He’s practically crawling.’
I thought about telling him I wasn't asleep, but I figured he’d have a heart attack, so I just let it be.
The next day.
After morning practice ended, around lunchtime, Seon A-hyun headed out alone for his collaboration practice.
Apparently, he’d be going back and forth every two or three days for the next week or two to squeeze in short rehearsals.
“Will you be okay? I think it’d be better to eat before you go.”
“I-I can eat when I get back…! It won’t take long.”
“Well, if you say so.”
“Wait a second.”
I tossed Seon A-hyun a glucose candy. Since I was taking these for emergencies with the trainer’s approval, I figured I could spare one.
“T-thank you…”
“Good luck.”
“A-hyun, fighting~!”
“I hope you have a productive practice session!”
Seon A-hyun hurriedly tucked the candy away, bowed his head, and headed out the door.
“…….”
I hope he doesn't come back bawling his eyes out.
“Hyung! Give me a candy too!”
“Here.”
“Yay!”
I emptied the rest of the candies into his hand and crossed my arms.
‘Maybe I should look into it a bit after all…’
Suddenly, Keun Se-jin started fanning himself unnecessarily with his hand.
“Ah~ It’s so hot from practicing. Should we grab some ice cream? That health food place downstairs sells some!”
“I love that!!”
“Ah, that place. Theirs is light, so it should be fine.”
“Okay~ Then let’s run through this one more time, and I’ll go buy it with Moon-dae!”
“…?”
Why am I being dragged into this?
I followed him out, curious to see what he was up to.
As soon as we were out the door, Keun Se-jin burst into laughter.
“Hey, Park Moon-dae! Are you really that worried?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you realize you’re monitoring A-hyun’s schedule every single time? It’d be more natural to just talk to him!”
“…….”
No, I’m just trying to check his condition before and after his collab practice, you prick.
But Keun Se-jin just kept snickering.
“Ah~ Moon-dae-moondae, what are we going to do with you? Seriously, huh? You can’t be satisfied unless you know everything and have your hands on everything, can you?”
“Shut up.”
“Please save that wonderful talent for the album, our capable Mr. Moon-dae~”
“…….”
“Oh, right. You should use it to pick the ice cream too… Whoa!”
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I sprinted to catch the fleeing bastard, and the rest of the guys received a mysterious "bullet delivery" of ice cream.
Later, sitting on the practice room floor, I pondered briefly.
Am I really that addicted to control?
‘No, I’m just trying to survive.’
Since it directly concerned my survival, I’d become sensitive to potential problems within my immediate group. Isn't that just a biological instinct?
‘And it’s not even to that extent anymore.’
It’s not like I’ll die if the status window disappears, so the goal is just a high-stakes objective at best.
‘I don’t waste time on unnecessary things.’
I sucked on my ice cream and focused on the afternoon practice.
However, that focus was soon interrupted.
When Seon A-hyun returned, his face was clouded with worry.
“I-I’m back.”
“…….”
That… didn't look like it went well.
Seon A-hyun quickly regained his composure and joined the practice, but by now, the other members were starting to notice the atmosphere.
“Did something happen while you were preparing for the collab?”
“It seems the preparations are more complicated than expected.”
However, Seon A-hyun didn't show any signs of being particularly overwhelmed. That meant it wasn't a major crisis.
Thanks to that, the topic died down as Seon A-hyun was quickly handed his share of ice cream.
Usually, it’s best to find a good time to ask about these things during a break.
And usually, that’s the job of a roommate or the leader… and unfortunately, I was his roommate.
‘I suppose I should ask, out of courtesy.’
But I didn't even have to initiate it.
After practice, I was sitting in our room, rewatching the choreography practice video I’d filmed earlier.
That’s when Seon A-hyun spoke up first.
“Um… M-Moon-dae. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. What is it?”
Could it be?
And it was.
“H-how do you… handle it when people you’re working with for a short time are… um, a bit difficult to deal with?”
“…….”
It was a direct request for advice.
“It depends on the situation. What do you mean by 'difficult'? Are they superiors?”
“N-no, it’s not that. It’s just… it feels like they’re deliberately showing that they’re being… insincere. To make me uncomfortable.”
Just as I expected.
“Hmm, in that case, you can either be sarcastic back or just ignore them as long as you stay within the bounds of politeness. They’re the type who’ll bow down once you’re even more successful anyway.”
“I-I see.”
And in that moment, I realized.
‘Damn, that feels refreshing.’
It seemed I really was the type who felt at peace only when I knew everything and could control it. Dammit.
Feeling a sense of dismay at having conceded a win to Keun Se-jin, I continued to listen to Seon A-hyun to get a better grasp of the situation.
But Seon A-hyun… seemed a bit ashamed.
Actually, a lot.
“S-sorry. It’s just me… I’m the only one who can’t do well… I f-feel like I’m always just receiving help.”
“…?”
“The o-other members are all doing so well… but there must be something wrong with me. Even with counseling and practice, it doesn’t work out…”
How did the conversation turn to this?
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Why are you being like this?”
“E-every time I meet people my age, this happens… It’s been like this from the start…”
“…….”
He must have been very flustered, as he’d forgotten he was supposed to be asking for advice as if it were a third-party problem.
“When was 'the start'?”
“In middle school… w-when I was doing ballet.”
Seon A-hyun hesitated before speaking briefly. His voice trembled.
“I… injured my ankle, and everyone was so happy……”
A chill ran down my spine.
“T-they weren’t bad kids, but… I think from then on, I started feeling like people my age d-disliked it when I was in the group…”
“……."
I sat up straight.
“First of all, in all the time I’ve spent with you, I’ve never seen a single member who disliked being with you.”
“B-because everyone is so kind…”
“You’re the one with the best personality in this group. And your middle school was an arts school, right?”
“Huh? Y-yeah.”
“You were the top student, weren't you?”
“I-I was… a few times…”
If Seon A-hyun said it like that, it meant he’d swept the top spots.
I crossed my arms.
His refined parents or professional counselors probably wouldn't have put it this way, so I guess I’d have to be the one to say it.
“Listen. Everything you’ve experienced so far was done by bastards who lost their damn minds out of envy.”
“Huh?”
“A handsome guy who’s also insanely good at dancing? They did that because they were pissed off. You get it?”
“B-but… okay, I get it.”
Seon A-hyun seemed to nod just from the sheer force of my words. Good.
“So, look in the mirror every day and say ‘I’m a really impressive guy’ ten times, and don’t pay any mind to those bastards who are blinded by jealousy. Got it?”
“I-I only did that during the early stages of counseling…”
“Do it again.”
Seon A-hyun’s face was now flushed with a different kind of embarrassment, but he eventually gave a heavy nod.
Then, I suddenly picked up on something he’d said.
“Wait, then the reason you switched majors…”
Was switching from ballet to modern dance because of the bullying?
But Seon A-hyun hurriedly shook his head.
“N-no…! B-ballet… they said it was a waste of my physique.”
“Physique?”
“Yeah, for ballet, the… well, it’s better if your instep is rounded. M-mine isn’t like that… and my pelvis is small. So they r-recommended I try a path where I could do even better.”
I basically got the gist of it.
Seon A-hyun had talent in dance, but physically, he was more suited to reaching the absolute top in something other than ballet.
So they had him switch quickly before he started serious university entrance prep… that must be it.
In the end, he wound up in the idol industry instead of dance, but since he’s successful and making good money, all’s well that ends well.
“And you’re putting your modern dance training to good use now, so it worked out.”
“I-I guess so…?”
Seon A-hyun smiled broadly. But soon, his face darkened slightly as he lowered his head.
“A-actually, today… the topic of modern dance came up.”
“During the collab practice?”
“Yeah.”
Seon A-hyun nodded. Then, he spoke with a hint of indignation in his voice.
“They said that since we’re doing d-difficult moves, the rest of them won’t stand out at all and only A-hyun-ssi will be noticed. That they were envious and congratulated me…”
They really had a knack for twisting words like true members of a capitalist society.
“…So you couldn't respond?”
“N-no. I did respond, but…”
Seon A-hyun’s face turned red.
“I-I don’t know. I just said… ‘Thank you for saying that, I’ll do my best’…”
“…….”
“Yu-jin said it’s okay to just take praise as praise… w-will it be okay? Everyone went silent after I said that…”
I barely managed to answer.
“Yeah. You did well.”
Surprisingly… Seon A-hyun might turn out to be the type who "feeds" people their own medicine without any malice.
Keun Se-jin was right again—I didn't need to worry.
…Still, that conversation was worth having at least once.
“Keep doing that. You did great.”
“O-okay.”
Seon A-hyun’s face brightened instantly.
And I quietly accepted my defeat.
‘…Let’s just focus on preparing for the album.’
Two weeks later, December 31st.
The broadcast of the MBS music program, the grand finale of the year, was just around the corner.
And the first stage where a member of TeSTAR would make an appearance was the collaboration stage featuring Seon A-hyun.