Chapter 226
Chapter 226
The reaction to the release of the group chat logs was quite positive.
As long as there’s no problematic content, these kinds of small, intimate glimpses are steady sellers. Plus, with the comeback hints included, it was bound to be entertaining.
…However, right before posting it, I had to go through an unexpected final review.
—Um, Moon-dae, are you going to be the one to capture and post it?
—Yeah.
—Wouldn’t it be better if Cheong-woo hyung did it? He’s the leader, after all.
—…!
—He doesn’t usually post stuff like this, so the fans would probably love it even more, don’t you think?
…He was right.
It would feel more natural coming from him than from me, since I’d already used similar patterns a few times.
So, I took Keun Se-jin’s feedback and handled it cleanly by having Ryu Cheong-woo post the content.
Since the result was good, I should have just shut up and been happy about it, but a doubt lingered in my mind.
‘I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before him.’
I felt like an impulsive brat whose ambition had outpaced his judgment. I almost felt the need to do a self-diagnosis to see if I’d lost my touch.
I clicked my tongue and crossed my arms.
‘I’ll do the next one properly.’
Of course, before that, I had to finish the comeback preparations properly.
Even though I’d planned things so they could proceed step-by-step even if one person joined later, the process of syncing up with each other on stage was essential.
Fortunately, the other members, including myself, had some breathing room in between. We had already finished a lot of the filming that could be done without Kim Rae-bin.
But that wasn’t the case for Kim Rae-bin.
‘That guy has to do all of it starting now.’
Thanks to that, as soon as Kim Rae-bin joined us, he was so busy that he’d practically spill work talk if you just tapped him.
Even so, he didn’t forget his manners.
A few days later, late at night, he finally found a moment and quietly came to my room.
“My older sister asked me to deliver these to you and Cha Yu-jin! I’ve also added a bit of my own sincerity. Thank you so much for everything.”
What Kim Rae-bin held out was… yakgwa and pumpkin sikhye purchased from a famous local spot. It looked like they had been sent by courier.
The quantity, however, was enormous.
‘I guess he definitely knows Cha Yu-jin’s tastes….’
Since it would be awkward to give them different things, it was rational to cater to the one whose tastes he knew. I didn’t particularly have strong likes or dislikes when it came to food anyway.
‘Though I do wonder when we’re going to eat all of this.’
Still, I had to say something. I took the box wrapped in a large cloth bundle.
“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”
“Thank you! I will be sure to tell my sister.”
Kim Rae-bin gave a broad smile and bowed his head. It didn’t help much, though, since his natural expression was a bit fierce and he looked like a mess from not sleeping for days.
I hesitated for a moment before finally asking.
“…Is your grandmother doing okay?”
“Yes! I’m keeping in touch with her constantly, and they say she’s recovering her strength smoothly.”
That was a relief. I nodded silently.
“And I asked her… to please tell me honestly if she experiences any physical discomfort or illness in the future….”
“Good job.”
I patted his shoulder once or twice.
Now that he’d gone through this process once, even if the moment Kim Rae-bin feared eventually came, he’d be able to accept it with more composure.
‘…Even if you can’t avoid it, you can deal with it.’
That was enough.
I shook off the useless thoughts and picked up the bundle he’d given me.
“Then this… should be refrigerated, right?”
“That’s correct. …Ah, hyung! I’ll carry it!”
“It’s fine. I’ve already got it.”
Just as I was about to take the bundle to the refrigerator, since it needed to be chilled anyway—
“Ah, come to think of it, there was something I wanted to ask you!”
“What is it?”
Kim Rae-bin followed me, raising his hand.
“I was curious why you chose to reveal the group chat logs regarding the remote work for this album to the fans!”
“…!”
“Since official press releases for this album haven’t come out yet, in my short-sightedness, I was worried there might be a risk of a leak….”
Kim Rae-bin’s eyes sparkled.
“I wanted to ask what kind of efficiency you anticipated that would outweigh that risk!”
“…….”
I hadn’t… really thought about that risk.
I looked at him, feeling a bit awkward.
‘Unless someone hacks the KakaoTalk servers, there’s no way the songs would leak.’
He was so overly serious about the songs and the album that he was worrying about risks that only existed in theory.
Still, I suppose it could be seen as a bit concerning for the group to personally drop hints about a comeback before an official statement was released.
But I couldn't exactly tell him that the real reason was to shut down those out-of-line comments.
‘Should I just pick the least provocative part and piece it together?’
I spoke calmly.
“Some fans realized you were at your family home. I did it to reassure them.”
This was also a real reason. There were quite a few people who were anxious and worried about Kim Rae-bin’s mental state and condition.
Of course, the primary goal was to make the idiots talking nonsense shut their mouths.
Seeing those reactions had made me feel at peace.
‘This was the right answer.’
“Is that so?”
But… Kim Rae-bin still looked puzzled.
“But they would have been naturally reassured once the official comeback press release went out next week.”
“……!”
“The enjoyment the group chat logs provide would still have been valid then, so uploading them afterward would have been safer and better… Ah, no! I’m sorry for talking back.”
“…….”
I thought blankly.
Is he right?
He is.
It wasn’t that Kim Rae-bin’s hypothesis about the leak risk was correct, but rather that there was no need to directly respond to the shitty undercurrent of public opinion.
It would have all been resolved once the comeback teaser came out anyway.
Hastily uploading screenshots of the group chat was actually a move that invited trouble, as it hinted that I was conscious of that nonsense.
It only passed naturally because Ryu Cheong-woo posted it instead of me.
My initial judgment… was wrong.
“You’re right,” I muttered.
A voice came to mind.
—But don’t worry too much, hyung. How can you change someone else’s heart to be exactly like yours?
—That’s not true, and not everyone believes that…!
Even after acknowledging that I was overly obsessed with controlling public opinion while listening to the others talk, I had gone and repeated the same behavior.
I had even committed an act that yielded no utility, like a brainless idiot.
It was obvious.
I just… couldn't stand seeing someone being criticized while their family was dying. Fuck.
“I was oversensitive and made a mistake.”
“Ah, no! I just asked a useless question for no reason….”
“No, you’re right.”
I kept muttering.
“I guess I was thinking about the past for no reason.”
“The… the past?”
“Yeah.”
It was as if my spinal cord had frozen and burst; the words just kept leaking out.
“I was late.”
“Pardon…?”
“By the time I got there, the other families had already finished identifying their relatives. Only my parents were left until that late at night….”
Are you crazy? I bit my tongue.
“Hy-Hyung.”
“Sorry for saying something unnecessary. Anyway, your reasoning is right. It was my mistake, and there was no grand purpose or efficiency behind it.”
“I-I’m sorry…!”
Kim Rae-bin… looked like he was about to burst into tears and snot at any moment. Dammit.
I set the bundle down and pressed my hand to my forehead.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
“For choosing a wrong topic that brought up a painful experience….”
“No.”
I told the truth.
“It’s painful because I didn’t handle it properly back then….”
“That’s not true!”
Kim Rae-bin cut me off. He clenched both fists, his tension palpable.
“F-From what I remember, hyung-nim, you were studying at an academy at the time, and the contact… so you received it after some time had passed. Is that correct?”
“…Yeah.”
I guess I had told him that story. Kim Rae-bin nodded vigorously.
“But a student’s duty… is to study, isn’t it!”
“…!!”
What?
I stared at him as if I’d been struck on the back of the head.
“Hyung, you were simply doing your best in the position you were given. So, that was… just an accident.”
Kim Rae-bin swallowed hard.
“Just like how it wasn’t a mistake for me to go to the MT.”
“…!”
“Right? O-Of course, the cases are a bit different, but….”
Right.
You are not me.
But separately, it was true that I… had also done my best at the time.
It was just that my 'best' felt woefully inadequate.
And I simply couldn't accept that no matter what I had done, there was no way it wouldn't have been painful.
—No one is good at this kind of thing.
Just as I had told Kim Rae-bin myself, no one is good at this kind of thing.
“…….”
I held my head. The shock was intense, but the answer was clear.
Using Kim Rae-bin as a reference point, I could finally see it.
‘What kind of amazing response could a middle schooler have had?’
I thought he was too young to experience a bereavement, yet I hadn't been able to cut my younger self any slack.
So, I suppose it’s time… for a re-evaluation.
‘Yeah. It’s acceptable.’
For a middle schooler, I’d tried hard enough.
“…….”
Somehow, my heart felt light. I had a groundless feeling that I’d sleep well tonight.
“I believe there is a basis for making similar emotional judgments in hyung’s and my recent situations, but…….”
“Yeah.”
Let’s give him a firm answer first. This poor guy was trying so hard to convince me while walking on eggshells.
Kim Rae-bin’s face brightened instantly.
“……! Right! So it’s my fault for making you think of a painful experience!”
“No, that’s not it.”
He was saying it was his fault with such a bright expression. He seemed to be in a state of euphoria because his persuasion had succeeded.
I picked up the box of yakgwa and sikhye again and continued as gently as possible.
“…Thanks for saying that.”
“Hup!”
Kim Rae-bin bowed his head again.
“I’m the one who’s truly grateful, hyung. During that time… thanks to you, I received so much help and was able to participate in the album safely.”
I told him it was for the benefit of the group, but here he was again. This could go on forever.
‘I should change the mood.’
I asked lightly.
“Is that why you gave Cha Yu-jin a gift too?”
Kim Rae-bin turned serious.
“No. I just gave it to him while I was at it.”
“…….”
I don’t know if they’re just incredibly close or if they just think of each other as idiots, but I hope the fans see it as the former.
I shrugged and organized the yakgwa and sikhye in the fridge.
“I’ll enjoy these.”
“Yes!”
For the record, I’ll just say that the members ended up snacking on these gifts whenever their sugar levels dropped during comeback prep, and they had to go through hell for final weight management.
‘They brought it on themselves.’
…The mysterious part was that this didn't apply to Cha Yu-jin.
Anyway, that funny incident was short-lived. The album release date was drawing closer by the minute.
The first signal was the release of the teaser.
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Nothing. Get lost.”
Kim Rae-bin’s individual fan gritted her teeth and pushed away her younger brother, who was loitering nearby.
‘If he wants to see it, he should just look it up himself. He’s doing this because he doesn’t want to admit he’s interested!’
If he was interested in Park Moon-dae, he should just look him up proudly. It was incredibly annoying how he tried to sneak a peek as if he were just trying to pick a fight with her.
Of course, even considering that, her reaction was more intense than usual.
It was because she had something to worry about.
‘Is Kim Rae-bin really okay…!’
There had been rumors floating around from sasaengs that he had joined the preparations late because his grandparents had collapsed.
The fan bit her nails.
‘Seeing what he posts on SNS, it seems like the family issue hasn’t gotten any worse.’
Still, since his preparation period was relatively short, she had a bad feeling that Kim Rae-bin’s screen time in the album would be small….
‘Ugh, shut up! Then I’ll just protest and ask for more screen time in the next album!’
Why worry about things in advance!
She let out a shout and readjusted her grip on the mouse.
It would surely drop at midnight….
‘It’s out!’
[TeSTAR ‘Call’ (Nightmare) Official MV Teaser]
She covered her mouth.
“Gasp.”
The thumbnail was Kim Rae-bin!