Episode 65: Brain Experts [3]
Does anyone know why airplanes sometimes can’t tell up from down? Why they crash into the sea, especially when flying over it? Unless you were a pilot, a flight surgeon, or someone in a related field, you probably wouldn’t. Even most doctors wouldn’t be familiar with the concept of spatial disorientation, or flight illusion.
To put it simply, it was a kind of sensory illusion that occurred when the human body’s sensory systems couldn’t keep up with rapid acceleration. The most common sensation was feeling like your body had flipped upside down…
“Aaaaaaaa! Save me!”
My loyal servant, no, my friend, Joseph was using his massive body and brute strength to spin a barrel with Alfred inside. If he kept it up at this speed, flight illusion would definitely kick in. And that was exactly what happened.
“Please! I think I’m falling! I’m upside down!”
“What’s that noise?”
Joseph was probably second only to Dr. Liston in physical strength and seemed unfazed while spinning someone at full force. He glanced at me with a puzzled look. Of course, since he wasn’t the one spinning, he wasn’t dizzy at all. Eventually, the movement stopped.
“In Joseon… we have a game like this. If you spin fast enough, it can create this kind of illusion.”
…Sorry. The more I talked, the more mysterious I sounded. But what could I do? I couldn’t exactly admit where I really learned about this.
“Really? I’ve never seen you play it.”
“My father used to carry me around like that. You weren’t there. We didn’t become close until later, remember? You couldn’t even eat then.”
“Hmm, maybe…”
Joseph, whom I had known since childhood, might have found it odd, but he wasn’t the type to suspect me.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I let the conversation drop and moved on.
“Ah… ah…”
Alfred, still sitting in the barrel, looked dazed. He was panting, flushed, and clearly rattled by the experience. He couldn’t understand why he was dizzy while Joseph, who did the spinning, was totally fine.
I crouched in front of him.
“You knew the barrel wasn’t actually flipping, right? But it felt like it was?”
“Uh… uh… What just happened…?”
I took his pulse. A hundred thirty beats per minute. He was really shaken. Thank God I became a doctor. If I had picked a job that required me to react instantly, like a pirate or a soldier, I would have been dead by now.
You might wonder what pirates had to do with this, but in England back then, it wasn’t too hard to get ahead without becoming a soldier, especially an officer. The times were like that.
Anyway, I kept going.
“See? Just knowing something in your head doesn’t mean your body won’t be fooled.”
“Y-yeah… and… I still feel weird…”
“You really felt upside down, didn’t you? Mind if I try it too?”
Alfred nodded, wide-eyed and fascinated. Joseph looked impressed, and maybe even a little jealous.
“Can I try it next?” he asked.
I glanced at my thin forearms… then at Joseph’s biceps and thick neck.
Will this even work…?
“Let’s wait for Dr. Liston and ask him.”
“Ugh… that’s scary.”
“Why?”
“I think he’s going to swing a knife at me.”
“I mean, yeah, he looks like that… but he won’t.”
Probably. We did have a monster on our side, Dr. Liston. If things went wrong, he would likely fix it. I respected him enough to trust that. And if he did get violent, well… I would tell him to repair that ridiculous headache-treatment machine instead.
By the time we returned to the lab, some time had passed. The patients looked bored, but at least we had made some progress.
“So… it could be a brain problem,” Joseph said.
“Yeah. So what?”
Now that both Joseph and Alfred were convinced, things were easier. You might wonder what the big deal was, just persuading two people. But it was better to talk something through with others than to figure it out alone.
I’m sorry…
Just then, the door creaked open.
Dr. Liston entered.
“Eek!”
“We’re doomed!”
“We didn’t do anything! Him! It was him!”
The patients were facing the door and reacted instantly.
Are you guys crazy?
I turned to look, and understood. It was pretty terrifying. Liston had just come from the operating square. He still had a bloody knife in hand.
God… when am I going to get this man to sterilize things properly?
I wanted to be the first to find bacteria under a microscope. But unfortunately, the one Joseph carried was basically a toy. Seeing anything at the cellular level was impossible.
“What’s all this?”
Liston laid the knife on the table like some medieval knight.
“Professor,” I said quickly, “these patients say they’re in pain, even though they’ve lost limbs. I brought them from the outpatient clinic and examined them.”
“Ah… Did you run any medical tests? Did you discover anything?”
In this era, “medical exams” were more for research than actual treatment. Doctors rarely interviewed patients. They just made assumptions and prescribed based on symptoms, not the person.
Anyway, I explained my findings.
“The head?”
Liston looked at me like I had said something outrageous. But… was he trembling?
Yes. His pupils were definitely shaking.
“Yes. The head may be responsible.”
“Hmm… Alfred, is it true you thought you were upside down earlier?”
“Yes! I swear, I thought I was falling.”
“You don’t usually lie to me.”
Liston rubbed his chin and muttered, “The head…” again. But he didn’t look happy. If it were a matter of cutting off more arms or legs, he would be confident. He was the best Amputation surgeon in London. But the brain?
That was unfamiliar territory.
Maybe he would go see Dr. Thomas if he ever had a headache.
“This is going to be troublesome…”
Despite his bold manner and aggressive surgical style, Liston was a cautious man. Others might say, “The head, huh? Let’s cut it open!” But not him. He preferred to verify things first.
“Should we open a skull?”
“What?”
“I mean… not saying we will, but we should ask.”
He was serious. And yet, the patients sighed with relief, seeing he wasn’t actually planning to crack open someone’s skull right now.
Even I would have panicked. That blood-covered knife was still sitting on the table, after all. If he really wanted to do it, he would be done in a few minutes.
The problem is… you’d be dead in a few minutes too.
“Instead of that, we should call in some experts. Most of these patients recently underwent surgery, so if this spreads, there’ll be a flood of new cases. People will listen if we call for action.”
“Yes, that makes sense.”
I nodded, deep in thought. Just saying something, no matter how flimsy the logic, was sometimes enough to get attention.
…And then I realized.
“Wait. Phantom pain comes from the head?”
“Is that true?”
“Then I must be involved!”
Big mistake.
These nineteenth-century doctors were way too enthusiastic about experimentation. Word spread that phantom pain might originate in the brain. Suddenly, “experts” flooded in, calling it the next epidemic.
The problem was the type of experts.
“As many of you know, I’m Jémel, expert in Bloodletting.”
“I’m Thomas. A firm believer in reducing blood by draining it, preferably by spinning it.”
Those two genuinely believed headaches came from “bad blood flow.” The moment they introduced themselves, even other doctors rolled their eyes.
But that wasn’t the worst.
“I specialize in electrotherapy. My name’s Matthew.”
“I do vibration therapy. Sometimes I work with Matthew. I’m James.”
Lord… They were shocking people and shaking them in tandem?!
These weren’t experts. They were lunatics. Demon quacks.
“Still,” Dr. Liston said proudly, “these are some of the most renowned ‘brain specialists’ in the UK.”
Right. In their eyes.
“Can you show us the illusion?” Dr. Thomas asked. “I’ve heard your explanation, and since Dr. Liston isn’t one to exaggerate, I’m inclined to believe it. Still, we’re scientists. We need to see it ourselves.”
He probably just wanted an excuse to spin someone around.
Whatever. Someone had to volunteer.
“Can I go again?” Joseph stepped forward. He hadn’t had a turn last time because he was busy handling others.
He was huge, definitely not the type you would expect to spin. But Dr. Liston didn’t hesitate.
Without a word, he grabbed the barrel and spun Joseph mercilessly.
“Ugh! My body! My body!”
And just like that, the familiar screams echoed once more through the sacred halls of this hospital.
Translator’s Notes:
Spatial Disorientation / Flight Illusion — A sensory illusion in which the brain misjudges position, motion, or direction, especially during flight. Pilots can feel level while actually turning or descending.
Flight Surgeon — A doctor trained in aviation medicine, especially the medical issues affecting pilots and aircrew.
Pulse — The rhythmic beat felt in an artery as the heart pumps blood. A pulse of 130 beats per minute suggests strong stress, fear, or exertion.
Bacteria — Microscopic organisms. Some cause infection, though bacteria had not yet been properly understood in this historical setting.
Microscope — An instrument used to see very small objects. The narrator notes that the available microscope is too crude to reveal bacteria clearly.
Outpatient Clinic — A medical service where patients are examined or treated without being admitted to a hospital ward.
Bloodletting — Historical treatment based on removing blood from the patient.
Electrotherapy — Treatment using electrical stimulation. In this context, it is presented as a dubious or poorly understood medical practice.
Vibration Therapy — Treatment using mechanical vibration. In this context, it is grouped with questionable nineteenth-century medical experimentation.