Episode 60: Phantom Pain [1]
Episode 60: Phantom Pain [1]
After the surgery, all patients were moved to the ward. Instead of being transferred to the obstetrics and gynecology ward where Blundell usually resided, they were moved to the one primarily overseen by Dr. Robert Liston.
“Ahh…”
“Ughhh…”
In other words, it was hell. I’m not exaggerating—this place was truly hell.
‘He really did cut off a lot of limbs…’
It was true that the discovery of anesthetics had brought definite progress in the field of surgery. Without it, the kind of procedures I knew wouldn’t even be possible. But has that progress come easily? I didn’t think so. After all, I’m living in this era now… and I’m starting to understand. Humans aren’t as clever as we like to think.
‘Yeah… It’s not easy for people to change.’
Above all, people don’t suddenly flip a switch and change just because a new method comes along. Fortunately, our Dr. Robert Liston was doing much better in that regard. Though he’s a master—no, a legend—when it comes to amputations, even he thinks it’s time to move toward more delicate surgeries. But here I was, doing nose surgery, and I still felt cautious about even practicing on a cadaver. For now, we had no choice but to stick with amputations, per the director’s instructions. The bigger problem was with Liston’s former apprentices, who had been hastily promoted to surgeons thanks to the director’s intervention.
“Coming through! Move! Get out of the way!”
“AAAAAAAH!”
I understood. These men had watched Dr. Robert Liston—Master—lop off limbs right before their eyes. Now, they were cutting as if it were second nature. The techniques weren’t the problem; they had been drilled into them to the point where they could recite the procedure in their sleep. After all, if Robert Liston was your teacher, could you really forget?
“Ngghhhh!”
The real issue was speed. Could they cut as quickly as Liston? And that’s where things had changed—because of me. Now, thanks to the use of anesthesia, even patients were becoming bolder. Yes, amputating a limb is terrifying, anesthetized or not. But there’s no alternative treatment. These were people who might have once chosen death over that kind of pain, but now—now they were lining up to have it done.
“No, this is…”
“I’m scared… Teacher…”
Thanks, Amputation Ward. F**k… The fact that it’s called that is ridiculous in itself. This place was packed. With what? Screaming patients.
“This is…”
I should’ve expected this. I looked around, my expression dark. Everywhere, people were missing one or even two limbs. All of them looked like they were in agony.
‘Right… this is to be expected.’
I may have discovered anesthetics, but I haven’t discovered painkillers or anti-inflammatory drugs yet. It would’ve been great to have something like Tylenol… But if I’d had that, wouldn’t I have used it by now instead of drawing blood for headaches? I’ve heard that some hospitals even used electric chairs. Lunatics…
‘What am I supposed to do with this…?’
Thanks to anesthetics, the patients didn’t feel pain during the cut—that is, the worst of it—but they weren’t spared the pain afterward. I’ve never had a limb amputated, but it was painful just to look at. I completely understood.
“For now… There’s nowhere else.”
“Do you think people won’t go insane staying in a place like this?”
“I’ll look for another ward. Until then… Yes, just for now.”
I understood, but would the patients? These people had just come in with nasal congestion. It wasn’t even proper anesthesia—just laughing gas. One of them had bled a lot during surgery.
“Cover your ears with this. I’ll make arrangements quickly.”
“Okay, okay. Please…”
“Don’t leave them here.”
I handed out bundled cloths to the patients who looked like they’d been through hell—or were on the verge of being abandoned—and then left to find another ward. If I couldn’t find one, I planned to sleep in the classroom. Anything but this. I really couldn’t leave them here. I needed to talk to Professor Liston. Could I really let things go on like this?
“Professor Blundell, could you take two male patients?”
“You think that’s going to work?”
“No…”
“No matter how nicely you ask, that’s not happening. What if their husbands show up and beat me to death?”
When I asked Blundell, I got a blunt refusal. I don’t think it was just a product of the times. It really sucked.
“But have you been there?”
“Where? Oh, the amputation ward?”
“Yes. You can hear the screams…”
“Well, cutting off arms and legs hurts.”
No… a doctor shouldn’t talk like that. Even if I concede that it’s painful—cutting limbs does hurt—it’s still not something to say so casually.
“It’s so bad, I can’t keep my patients there.”
“Why? You think your patients will suddenly want their legs chopped off? That’s not going to happen.”
“No, not that. I’m worried about trauma…”
“Trauma? What are you talking about?”
And with that, I came to understand a bit more about this era’s mindset. These people really don’t consider psychological trauma.
But… this was a world where workers were crammed into horrifying conditions. I once saw patients with horrible abrasions under their arms. When I asked, they told me about their factory “housing.”
“They said it was a dormitory, but it was just a rope strung up, and they had to sleep leaning on it. They’d cut it in the morning…”
And I’m here talking about trauma? Honestly, I’m just glad no one called me crazy for mentioning it.
“Well… I need some rest. It’s too noisy.”
“If it’s noisy, how are you going to sleep?”
“I lost a lot of blood.”
“Did you really? Come on, it’s just a nosebleed. Not like it was your stomach.”
Otolaryngology colleagues, please lend me your strength! People are dying from nosebleeds out here! Let them know!
“Well… It was my first surgery. My first patient. That’s why I feel this way…”
“Hmm… I guess it can happen.”
No real sympathy. I just had to keep voicing my frustrations. Ha. I know I’m right, but this is the situation. What else can I do? I’m still just an underling. I’ll wait. When I have power, I’ll remember this…
“I’ll see what I can do. If you’re asking, I can’t just sit still.”
“Thank you. Really…”
“Say whatever you need to.”
“Do you know where Dr. Liston is?”
“Oh, I heard he was so inspired by your surgery that he grabbed a knife and ran off?”
“He… took a knife?”
This guy’s technically a doctor, so why does he raise a knife when he’s impressed?
“Yes, I think he went to the square.”
“…Ah.”
And to think he’s cutting off someone’s limb again. With a sigh, I ran off. Given the short notice, it probably wasn’t the central square in London—more likely the small one in front of the hospital. It was close.
“Oh, Pyeong! Are you heading to the square too?”
As I ran, I ran into Joseph and Alfred. They’d been cleaning up post-surgery. These guys really worked hard. Me? I had future knowledge and a sense of duty. But these two were just doing it out of pure passion. When I was a resident, my biggest concern was figuring out how to stand around without getting assigned extra work…
“Yeah, I’m heading there. Need to talk to him.”
“Wow… You’re doing great. Let’s be brothers.”
“Well… sure.”
We went to the square together. When we arrived, Dr. Liston was holding up his trademark surgical blade under a rare burst of London sunlight. It glinted like…
‘King Arthur?’
He looked like a king. Really. Maybe even a Viking…
“Here we go!”
But what was actually cut off… was a leg. I instinctively turned my head away—then hesitated. Huh? I looked again. The students had all cleared out. Everyone knew about my close ties with Liston by now.
‘Hmm… something’s different.’
He wasn’t taking his time, but something had changed.
Slice.
There it was! His technique was the same: one smooth motion through skin and muscle. The satisfying slice through layers of differing density. But now—he was going back over the area again.
‘Ah… I see.’
He was going over the same section a second time. Before, it would’ve been one quick motion. Now, he was refining it. I understood the reason. I had a rough idea of how modern orthopedic amputation worked.
‘This is how we move toward the right answer.’
It wouldn’t be easy. The bone was being severed. Blood vessels and nerves were tied. It was taking longer than before.
‘I heard that if you do it right, the bandages don’t even turn red. He’s doing much better at stopping the bleeding.’
It felt like real progress. Still, it was a terrible amputation. But I’m not just sharp—I know how to flatter. So I stepped forward.
“Your surgical technique has changed, brother.”
“Oh, I knew you’d notice. I’m not sure if this will give better results, but… welcome back. I needed to talk to you anyway.”
“Oh?”
This guy really is a great doctor. Look—he’s already concerned about his patients.
“Um… Aren’t you heading back to the amputation ward?”
“There’s still work to do. But that’s not why I wanted to talk.”
“Oh?”
“There’s a patient in pain.”
I knew it. Dr. Liston’s expression turned serious.
“This isn’t the first time this has happened… Patients who had amputations weeks ago are coming back, saying their limbs still hurt. Limbs that aren’t even there anymore. But lately, I’ve been doing so many of these procedures, and now it’s happening more often. That’s a problem. A real problem.”