Chapter 166: Upton [2]
I need to lose weight first.
That was my first thought.
I knew perfectly well that most middle-aged men’s bellies were not especially attractive. In the twenty-first century, “managing middle age” was not an unfamiliar idea, thanks to widespread health awareness and modern standards. But here? Expecting anything close to common sense would only give me a headache.
I can’t see anything just by looking at it.
I finally gathered my thoughts and began examining the man’s abdomen. It looked a little better than before. Maybe their living conditions had improved slightly since those two insectivores disappeared. The man lay on a soft bed with his knees bent, but there was no obvious sign of a hernia.
“What… there’s nothing? Shouldn’t you press it or something?”
As everyone stared intently at the man’s abdomen, Joseph chimed in, probably hoping to prove himself. If word was going to reach Upton, it would be through me. Uncle and the lady looked a little disappointed, even though they did not say anything.
Instead of brushing Joseph off like usual, I decided to throw him a bone. A little return for the favor, right? After all, this was my home now too.
“Oh, yeah. I don’t see anything. But since there’s no pain right now, it’s hard to press…”
“Then what? There’s no illness or anything?”
Of course, it was not that simple. It was not as if symptoms floated up and showed themselves. What was I supposed to do, just keep getting prodded in the ass?
No. I’m not a master for nothing.
So I nodded while glancing at the vague area Joseph had just pointed to.
“Oh, yes. I don’t think anything is wrong there.”
It was an area where hernias were unlikely. Unless there had been an injury he had not mentioned, there should not be a problem. Even coming by boat, he had not really been hurt. At his age, though, the groin was a likely place for trouble. As the area weakened, part of the intestine could poke through. If he had been slimmer, it would have been visible, but unfortunately, a thick layer of fat covered everything.
“Hm.”
“Mister, didn’t you say it hurts when you strain? Like something comes out?”
“Oh? Yeah, it does.”
“Then let’s give it a try.”
“Where… where should I push?”
Seriously? Where else? Look at your belly. Moments like this reminded me that I really was living in the nineteenth century. My patience barely held together as I answered without even sighing.
“Your stomach.”
“Aha. Alright. Oof…”
The moment the man strained, something bulged out of his groin. Yes, his groin. It was intestine. A classic hernia.
“Ugh! What is that?!”
Understandably, the nineteenth-century crowd freaked out.
“Lord, Lord! It’s a demon!”
“No, it’s because he’s been selling alcohol all these years!”
“Oh my!”
Dad shouted to the heavens. The lady smacked him on the head, blaming his years of moonshining. Mom just sat down in silence.
Honestly, if you looked closely, it did kind of seem like something alive was moving under the skin.
Aren’t intestines supposed to move anyway…?
Even after he relaxed, the bulge did not go away immediately. You could actually observe the peristalsis. It was kind of cool.
“Joseph, what do you think—wait, where did he go?”
The three adults were just ordinary people—uneducated nineteenth-century folk. Their reaction was not unreasonable. But Joseph had been watching me for months. Even if I had been explaining things in terms they could understand, I had still been teaching him. Surely he had absorbed some scientific thinking by now.
“Lord!”
…Or maybe not.
Joseph raised a massive cross.
“Joseph? What’s with the cross? And why the hell is it so big?”
“I’m going to drive out the demon!”
“If you hit Dad with that, he’ll die!”
“No! The demon will die!”
This guy.
I was not small, but Joseph had me beat in size. His eyes were rolling wildly now.
Ah.
This was where my nineteenth-century understanding came in handy. Even in the twenty-first century, there was something called VIP syndrome, where doctors made mistakes because they were treating someone close to them. Joseph was panicking because his father was sick. I had to sympathize.
“No!”
“Hey! Are you trying to kill your father?”
“What’s your name?!”
“You bastard! You don’t even know your own dad’s name?!”
“Is he possessed too?!”
He was clearly trying to perform an exorcism. Was this kid serious? I crept up behind him and started choking him—gently.
“Ugh, huh?”
“If you don’t answer correctly, you die.”
“Taepyeong, wait!”
“Shut up and answer.”
I did not even need my full strength. Just strangling him a little was enough to make my point. I had not yet mastered the quiet fury of Dr. Liston, who could change the entire room’s atmosphere with a single low mutter of “fuck,” but I was getting there.
“Lord…”
“It’s the alcohol.”
“Oh my.”
The chaos was incredible, but surprisingly, the man himself was fine.
“There’s no way I’m possessed. I go to church. I even observe Sunday worship…”
At least he did not think it was the devil. I did not bother asking why. I would only be disappointed. Living here meant accepting what I could and not pushing for more. That only got me hurt.
“What organs are in the abdomen?”
I turned back to Joseph, hoping to reset his brain. He seemed to reflexively switch into student mode at the question. The cross was still in his hands, but he no longer looked like he was about to clobber anyone.
“Uh… liver! Spleen!”
“More.”
In the past, answers like that would have earned him a slap. Now, I was genuinely proud. I loosened my grip a little.
“Um… kidneys?”
“Not those. They only pass through there.”
“Ah. Intestines.”
“Good. Intestines.”
That was what I wanted. Once Joseph said “intestines,” the wild look in his eyes began to fade. So I let him go.
“Ugh…”
The patient looked scared, but he did not move. With his intestines literally bulging out, he was not about to get up. If he had been standing, it might have been different, but in this position, he just lay there.
“Intestines… Is that like a cupboard?”
“Kind of. But intestines move, right?”
“Uh… yeah.”
I had seen it clearly during surgeries, like that one appendectomy.
“Ugh! What is this?!”
“Why is this moving?!”
“Do we have to cut all of it?!”
That day, the three idiots, not including me or Liston, had freaked out during surgery. But how else would poop be made if the intestines did not move?
“That bulge is intestine. But why is it out?”
I knew. We were almost there. This was a big moment.
Kim Taepyeong, Korean of grit and science!
“There’s a hole here.”
“Wait, did his intestines burst?”
Ugh. We had climbed one mountain, and now there was another. That naive answer. Did he think intestines pierced the body on their own? No. The muscle wall simply weakened with age. Plus, the groin naturally contained ligaments and vessels, making it a weak spot to begin with.
“I don’t know exactly.”
Goddammit. Did I really have to say “I don’t know” here?
Dear heavens, if you’re listening, send me something. I don’t even need a status screen. Just give me Liston’s strength. If I can’t convince them, I’ll subdue them.
“You don’t know?”
As usual, heaven stayed silent. So I had to make something up again.
“Huh. I’m not sure, but doesn’t it look small? Maybe the intestines are squeezing through a gap?”
“That’s serious. Should we cut out the intestines now?”
“No, that’s overkill.”
“Right. But my dad’s in pain… Let’s operate.”
“Here? In the market?”
Joseph looked shocked at the idea. I must have looked the same.
“But… intestines are part of the body. Do we really need to cut them out?”
Ah, I see what you’re thinking. But no, we cannot wait.
I was supposed to go to Paris in a month. If I had not checked today, I would not have seen this until after buying groceries.
The hole was growing. More intestine was slipping through. At some point, it would get strangled and die. Then so would he.
“I’m going to close the hole. We’re not cutting out the intestines. But your dad is clearly hurting.”
“But… if you cut open the abdomen, isn’t there a one-in-three chance of dying?”
“Yes. But…”
Not in this case. We did not need to open much. Plus, there was plenty of alcohol around. The lady, Mom, or even Dad himself could distill it for anesthesia.
“This won’t be easy. But we’ll try.”
“Hmm…”
Joseph hesitated, then nodded.
“Alright. I’ve never lost anything by listening to you.”
“…Huh?”
That meant something. I guess everything I had done was not for nothing.
Then the man suddenly declared, “I’ve always wanted to have surgery at least once in my life!”
…Well, that was a weird reason. Maybe he just wanted to be the talk of the town.
One thing was clear. It was going to be a very strange evening.