Chapter 135: Finally, Surgery [1]
As for how the conversation ended that day… in short, Harry was thrown in prison. He did not even get the chance to offer a proper explanation. Sir Jamie had him arrested for removing something very precious. Considering this was a time when the concept of medical malpractice did not even exist, it was a remarkable outcome.
This was an era where people said, “I didn’t mean to kill him. What more do you want from me?”
Of course, that did not stop people from taking matters into their own hands. Some medical schools even taught horseback riding and swordsmanship to prepare for retaliatory attacks.
“Everything going well?”
That day, I learned something painful: nobles were, after all, the exception to every rule. And Hugh? He actually ended up better off. Lord Damien rewarded him for the courage it took to testify. He might not escape the slums entirely, but as long as he avoided drinking and gambling, he would be financially stable for a few months.
“Ah, brother. You’re here?”
“Yeah… I’m a little worried. This is Lord Damien we’re talking about. He’s even more influential than Sir Jamie.”
Maybe it was because Robert Liston and I had crossed a few life-threatening lines together, but we had become closer. I mean, didn’t we barge into a nobleman’s estate and cause a scene? If things had not turned out well, we would be dissected in someone’s textbook by now. Lord Damien might be a big deal, but even Sir Jamie could crush two ordinary men if he got serious.
Back then… maybe I was too used to the chaos to realize how insane it was.
Anyway, from that day on, I threw myself into surgery. This time, the goal was treating Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia. It was not just about operating on Lord Damien. With Harry in prison, we were facing a medical wild west. This was London, after all, where every manner of idiot ran loose. And of course, this case was no exception.
Removing testicles was not some rare, advanced technique. It was commonly done on animals, and those with experience in that field were often disturbingly good at it. The tools already existed.
“We need to get this right. Those bastards are still out there, cutting off balls. This is serious.”
“Yeah. If I catch them, I’ll kill them all. They’re operating in the dark, and even after Lord Damien published an article in the papers, they’re still at it.”
“Newspapers? You think the people doing this can even read?”
While literacy rates in modern Korea might not be perfect, at least most people could read and write. But this London? This was a den of devils. A city full of people who had never received even a scrap of real education.
“They do it because they don’t know any better. It feels uncomfortable, so they cut it off. And then rumors start, like it boosts stamina.”
Some were even selling human testicles on the black market, claiming they increased male vitality. They sold them to nobles at outrageous prices. Liston once shut down a sale, only to find out the buyer was Sir Jamie himself.
“There are people who actually eat those things. People who should know better.”
Liston sighed deeply. We both knew the pursuit had to end there because of the noble connection. But we needed a better solution: a real, safe surgical procedure. To get there, we had to experiment, and we needed the right materials. Today, finally, I had them.
“Why are you looking at it like that?”
“Huh? Did I do something?”
“Never mind. Anyway… we need to test this.”
That did not mean we would go around exposing prostates right away. This had to be tested on a living body first. Unfortunately, this was my first time performing this kind of operation. The biggest issue was the rubber tube. There was no point in putting it in unless it could actually drain urine.
Will it go in smoothly? Will the urine actually flow out?
I examined the three rubber tubes I had been given. All were the same size, thicker than I would have liked and much stiffer than modern ones. Just touching them, I could not tell if they would work.
“It’s an experiment,” Liston said.
He was always the practical one. I sensed something ominous and started backing away. Meanwhile, my three students stood frozen, blank-faced. They probably thought they would never need to perform a surgery like this in their lives, but after this scandal, who knew? Interest had been piqued.
Alfred… I’m counting on you.
I turned to him and asked, “When did you last urinate?”
To an outsider, the question would sound bizarre. But the three of them answered honestly, probably too stunned to lie.
“Two hours ago?”
“I went just before bed.”
“I… didn’t go this morning.”
Fate chose Alfred. He was the oldest, and that meant his bladder had the most to offer.
“Alright, lie down here.”
“Huh? Wait, why? What? Where?!”
Panic spread across his face, but it was too late. Liston moved in. Joseph, who was about the same size as Alfred, helped pin him down.
“This is so messed up! What are you doing?!”
I looked only at his lower body, trying to spare him some dignity. Liston pressed Alfred’s face down and yanked his pants down.
“Mmmpf—!!”
Instead of screams, we got muffled yelps. Honestly, it was better that way. Screaming would have made us seem like we were torturing him. Colin once had a tooth pulled in the name of science. Compared to that, this was nothing.
It’s slippery enough. It shouldn’t hurt…
Instead of lubricant, I used a diluted agar solution, the same one we had used to culture Penicillin. Heated and scooped cleanly, it would not cause infection.
I hope not, anyway…
I prayed silently, picked up the least stiff tube, and gently pulled Alfred’s… well, you know.
“Okay. Here we go. It’s going to feel like…”
“It’s going to feel like what?!”
Before I could answer, the tube slid in. I was relieved. It had been years since I had last done this, back during my internship. But it was true what they said: some skills were like riding a bike.
“Oh.”
“Whoa.”
“That… doesn’t hurt?”
“Gahhh…”
There was resistance at one point, but since Alfred was not old enough to have prostate issues, I got through and reached the bladder.
Then, stream.
Urine started pouring out through the rubber tube, completely bypassing Alfred’s will.
“Aaaaaagh!!”
This scream had a different flavor. Pure shame.
“Good. That’s it.”
“That’s kind of amazing.”
“Should we sketch this?”
“You’re all insane!”
The other students peered at him with interest. Colin even suggested drawing it, and honestly… he was not wrong.
Is this the first time a urinary catheter was recorded in medical history?
A historical moment. I almost felt honored.
“Senior.”
“What the hell?”
“You’ve helped advance human knowledge.”
“And destroyed my dignity.”
“It’s just between us, right?”
“You—”
“Oh, look. A lifesaver.”
“Sigh…”
I almost got punched, but he backed down. Thank God he was a decent guy.
“Want to try this too?”
Liston tossed the rubber tube aside and picked up the Prostatectomy Tool the Blacksmith had just delivered. Even in his rage, Alfred froze in fear at the sight of it.
“No, no. Please, no…”
“This one can cause real damage.”
“Oh, thank God.”
“What kind of lunatic buys a knife and immediately cuts someone with it?”
“I do. Ah, not strangers. Just patients. Don’t misunderstand.”
I was honestly horrified. What was I, a Japanese swordsmith testing steel on peasants? Anyway, we moved to the Anatomy Lab to practice. A cadaver was safer.
“Phew…”
“What the fuck is this…”
“But it worked.”
“A real achievement.”
“I polished the inside really well, right?”
“And?”
“Not a single external wound. No damage to other organs.”
They were disturbed at first, but after I explained everything, their expressions shifted. Respect. Understanding.
Rubber tube, check. Temperature, check.
“Time to meet the patients.”
“Okay. Lord Damien is sending about ten.”
“Ten real patients?”
“He’s not that reckless. Didn’t he publish an article, too?”
“Still…”
All that was left now… was the real battle.
Footnotes
Translator’s Notes
Medical Malpractice — Legal concept referring to professional negligence by a medical practitioner. The narration notes that this concept did not meaningfully exist in the story’s 19th-century medical setting.
Agar — Gel-like substance derived from seaweed and commonly used as a growth medium in laboratories. Here, Pyeong uses a diluted agar solution as a makeshift lubricant.
Japanese Swordsmith Testing Steel — Reference to the historical image of testing blade sharpness on human bodies or criminals. The narration uses it as a dark comparison for reckless surgical testing.