What Are We Gonna Do Now, For Real!
Agartha was bleating at us like a goat. "What are we gonna do now, for real!" She'd been like this ever since the vice captain told us to wait and vanished from the spot after hearing our answers. Hell, she was the one who'd said she'd do it too—what was with the backpedaling now?
The Hunter and I just stared at her blankly, and Agartha looked ready to lose her mind. She started thrashing around like a salmon on a line, still bound up. Honestly, thanks to Super Coward Mode, Outer Gods didn't scare me anymore—they weren't objects of fear at all. Deep down, I couldn't help thinking, Hell, I even beat a Surveillance-level one pretty handily. What's left to be afraid of?
"Quit making that smug, carefree face! It pisses me off even more!"
She'd reached the point where she could read my mind or something. Agartha jabbed a finger at me, fuming. She usually laughed this stuff off, so why was she so damn sensitive about it now?
"Quiet down."
"Ha, yeah right! Like you'd know. You've fought Outer Gods a few times, so you're not worried, but I sure as hell am!"
"Then you wanna crawl around like a dog under that guy's thumb?"
That guy meaning the vice captain, obviously. I nodded along with the Hunter's words. I'd never gotten why the community simped so hard for the knights. Still, since they served the princess ruling Rondan, there had to be some perks. I'd seen posts listing all the benefits of joining up.
As I mulled that over, Agartha pointed at the Hunter and yelled, "Don't use such loaded words to bait weird answers! We agreed to call it a 'safe life'!"
"Agartha, calm down first…."
"Shut up! You indecisive psycho Outer God bait!"
I tried waving my hands to soothe her, but she spat it right out. Wait, she said it was just an attempted beast crime earlier, so it was fine! I didn't even do it in the first place!
"Ah, it's over…. I shouldn't have answered like that! My life was finally gonna flow smoothly, and now it's all tangled up again!"
Agartha's voice grew weaker, until she slumped against the wall like she might collapse. That damn thief. She didn't even appreciate me saving her sorry ass from near-death, and now this shameless crap! I couldn't hold back anymore—I stepped close and flicked her forehead.
Thwack!
"Ow! Are you nuts? You really wanna throw down?!"
"Calm down, Agartha. You weren't seriously planning to join the knights for real, right?"
"W-Well, yeah, but…."
"Then this is the best option. Don't get so worked up—let's think about what to do next."
As I finished, Agartha stared at me like I'd grown a second head. When I tilted my head in confusion, she muttered softly, "
…The psycho just said something logical."
"…."
"Nah, I'm the normal one. I'm two-eyed in a one-eyed world!"
She just had to get one last dig in! I sighed. Fine, call it even for the flick. I rationalized it to myself.
The mood finally settled, and that's when I heard the faint pop-pop-pop sounds starting up. The vice captain was coming back.
"Everyone still in one piece. I figured at least one of you'd bolt. Not that it mattered—you'd be executed on the spot anyway."
Why'd he tell us to wait and then leave like that? As I wondered, he said, "Come in."
Three people followed him in, one familiar face among them—the timid lady knight with the axe. One of the trio who'd come to the prison.
"Vice Captain, sir, so what exactly are we supposed to do?"
"You see the ones in front?"
At his words, the two unfamiliar faces stepped forward and eyed us up. Like we were trash or something.
"Yeah, the underground prison scum, right? What about these assholes?"
"Pick one each and go deal with an Outer God."
Their pupils shrank visibly.
"I-I'm sorry, I misheard?"
"You heard right. Hunting Outer Gods solo is a crime. That's why you'll be escorting them."
"Don't we have better seniors for this?"
"You know they're swamped with their own duties. You're sidelined probationary knights unfit for Outer God hunts, but you can manage and supervise these ones. You're the only ones available right now."
They seemed to grudgingly accept that. Were the knights really that short-staffed? Makes sense—fighting Outer Gods ain't easy, so they couldn't have tons of manpower. And no way they'd waste elites on criminals like us.
"Fine, but just picking randomly feels off. Here's the prisoner roster—crimes and profiles listed. Check it out."
The knights took the paper from the vice captain, read it, and gagged like urgh.
"H-Hey. Wh-What's 'attempted Outer God rape'?"
"Insane. Is that a real crime? How the hell do you even do that?"
"R-Right…."
I wanted to tune it out, but they were blatantly talking about me. Leydan got the pleasure, and I'm paying the price. What a bitch.
"I'll tell you the Outer Gods you each have to handle. Study the traits and choose carefully—these guys die, you might too."
"But they're the ones who beat a Surveillance Outer God, right? How are we probationaries supposed to manage them?"
"Don't worry."
The vice captain pulled something from his chest plate and stamped us with it. A deformed bear shape appeared where it hit, and it stung like mercurochrome on a wound despite looking like a stamp.
"It's a seal made from the contractor's finger. The pact it forms is unbreakable unless something extreme happens. These criminals can't disobey your orders for this mission."
The vice captain sighed wearily. "I've got work back at the Logs. Damn, even being here wasted too much time. Try to make it worth something."
His tone held zero expectation. He clearly didn't think we'd actually take down any Outer Gods. Kinda… insulting.
As he left, he glanced at the pink-haired girl; she averted her eyes awkwardly. Once he was gone, the remaining knights huddled over the documents with grim faces.
"No helping it now. We'll do a fair duel to decide order."
"Oh, not that?"
"…Th-That's scary. Can't we skip it?"
What the hell were they planning to make them sweat like that? Their resolve got me tense too. They pulled out a jade orb, set it on the floor, and chanted something. Then a little girl's voice echoed from it.
"Fair and square duel, or you die."
The knights clutched their heads and took deep breaths.
"…Dunno what it said, but that voice still creeps me out. Ready?"
"Can't back out once it's decided?"
"…Y-Yeah, ugh… Can't we just pick?"
"This way, no backlash."
They spread out, hyper-focused. Then they all raised hands and shouted as they dropped them….
"Rock, paper, scissors!"
You crazy bastards! Don't get all dramatic over that! Was even this filtered cute somehow?
After a brutal few rounds of rock-paper-scissors, the order was set.
"…Finally!!!"
"Nice!"
"…Nooo!"
Poor axe girl got last place. Agartha glanced her way and whispered, "That's rigged."
"Huh?"
"I saw her signaling with her fingers to fool the one-eyed girl. That orb's fake, or tampered with."
It looked legit Outer God gear, though…. Anyway, the winner strode up confidently and offered a hand to the Hunter. Figures—she had the best shot at hunting Outer Gods.
"Says here you've got multiple Outer God kills. Looking forward to it."
He peeled off her blue tape, but she smacked his hand away with her knuckles and walked off.
"Don't get in my way."
"…Feisty, huh? I like it."
Grinning ear-to-ear, he shot me a glare before following. Dick till the end. I sighed, and the Hunter glanced back once. I nodded—I got the message. We'll meet again. Safest to stick near the protagonist, so I'd reunite with her no matter what.
Next knight headed for Agartha. "Sigh, lady thief, huh. At least you're easy on the eyes."
Agartha whipped her head to me with pure disgust. You hear that shit?! It echoed in my ears. Kinda cringy, yeah.
Ignoring it, he ripped her tape and yanked her wrist. "Anyway, we've got a goal: take down an Outer God. Don't even think about running—do your damn job."
"Okay, okay, let go!"
Agartha shook him off in revulsion and trudged after him. Her future looked bleak.
As I thought that, footsteps approached me. It was her, the axe girl.
"…Ugh, didn't expect to see you again here."
"Me neither."
She whimpered huee and peeled my tape too. Freedom hit like a mental high. Mind holds the body together, but body breaks mind too.
"L-Let's go quick. Better handle our assigned Outer God fast."
"Got it."
"A-And take this. Knight supplies, but better than nothing."
She handed me three candy-like sticks.
"What's this?"
Knight gear, so not just sweets. Guessing Super Coward Mode filtered it, I asked. The answer shocked me.
"Made from low-rank Outer Gods, so not great quality. One boosts physical functions, one calms the mind for stability. The last… suicide pill. Eat it if you're totally screwed."
"Noted."
Watching her casually accept suicide candy was surreal. This was Snow Castle knighthood. Staring at the three, only the physical boost seemed useful. …Hope I don't mix 'em up.
"Let's hurry."
As she led the way, I realized I didn't know her name. Time to introduce myself.
"I'm Leydan Tantun."
"…I-I'm, uh, call me 'Mu Yeon.'"
I recalled community posts calling her the Martial God's daughter. Nickname? This world loved 'em. Hunter ditched hers to avoid Outer God targeting. Was blabbing mine okay? Survived Surveillance, so probably fine.
"Nice to work with, Mu Yeon."
"Y-Yes…."
Off to hunt an Outer God.
"B-But you're not planning to do that with the Outer God, right?"
"No way!"
Clearing this misunderstanding would take time.