Episode 40.

Chef Haitan III

"If you mean animals, are you referring to pets?"

Haitan's tone changed.

That alone gave me a strong sense that I'd screwed up.

I hadn't stepped on a landmine, but it felt like tap-dancing over a field full of them.

"Guest. Surely you aren't thinking of feeding my food to a pet."

The title 'Sir' had been downgraded back to 'guest.' The air seemed to turn cold, and considering this man's skills and Traits, it might not have been my imagination.

"......."

My will to fight crumbled all over again, but it was far too late to back out now. I forced my stiff mouth open.

"Is that not allowed?"

"......Even you, guest, are sorely lacking in etiquette."

There it was. That damn etiquette.

Haitan stood still for a moment. It looked like he was steadying his breathing, or perhaps composing himself.

After letting out a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠trembling exhale, Haitan opened his mouth with an expression as blank as a mask.

"......I truly do not understand. Why are you people so rude? Washing your hands before a meal. Not making pointless noise while eating. Offering the chef a word of respect after finishing your meal....... These are basic courtesies, are they not? Why does no one understand such simple manners?"

"Are you saying bringing an animal into a restaurant violates etiquette?"

"Obviously."

Well, sure. Generally speaking, yes.

But this is no ordinary place. If there's one thing I've clearly realized since entering this damn game.......

It's the truth of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

In other words, sophistry must be met with sophistry.

"What is your standard for distinguishing between a customer and an animal?"

"What do you mean?"

"You call it an animal, but that companion isn't some pet of mine. We are equals. It has intelligence, dignity, and its own sense of decorum. Naturally, it can also give an accurate assessment of your cooking."

"That's......."

Haitan, looking slightly startled, immediately struck at the heart of the matter.

"This animal you speak of—could it be a Magical Beast?"

I answered with silence.

"......Hm."

I could feel Haitan deliberating. The frozen air seemed to thaw a little.

After a moment, Haitan spoke.

"A gourmet must be learned."

"......."

"Is that not so? Even if one eats fine food, if the only words one knows are delicious, sweet, a little salty....... If that meager vocabulary is the limit, then it is meaningless. Yes. Utterly meaningless. The emotion felt when eating, the harmony unfolding on the tongue, the vivid texture and the inner change it brings....... One must possess the cultivation to put all of that into words."

Haitan spoke in a heated yet utterly earnest tone.

"A rich vocabulary lends power to words in and of itself. That power becomes persuasiveness. Words from such a person, even harsh criticism, make a chef accept them. Yes. One comes to accept the evaluation fully. Through that process, a chef can advance to a higher level."

The words of a madman are hard to understand.

I pretended to keep listening to Haitan's sudden rambling, but it wasn't easy to grasp his true intent.

Fortunately, Haitan got to the point.

"I understand what you are trying to say. In truth, I have served various dishes to Magical Beasts myself. Beings with sufficient intellect, that is. However—"

Haitan sighed and shook his head.

"The best reactions I got were, 'It's delicious,' 'I'm full,' and 'Is there more?' Regrettably, to them, food was nothing more than a means to sate hunger."

"......."

"As you said, the intelligence of Magical Beasts is no less than that of humans, but that does not make them the same as people. In the end, those who have not learned cannot put inner emotion into words."

He was rambling in circles, but to summarize:

Can a mere Magical Beast truly leave a review on par with a human's?

"It's possible."

Yes. Entirely possible.

I don't know about other Magical Beasts, but the one I'm about to call can.

Among its own kind, that creature's position is roughly equivalent to human nobility.

It can speak, its bloodline is superior, and it probably has its own sense of decorum. Its manner of speech was also needlessly archaic.

"Hm."

Haitan fell silent.

A moment of deliberation....... Hiding my anxiety, I waited with the heart of a prisoner awaiting the executioner's verdict.

And then—

"If you insist."

Haitan accepted my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠proposal in a voice that was far from enthusiastic.

"By the way, what species is ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this Magical Beast guest of yours?"

"A lizard."

"A lizard....... A lizard, is it."

After thinking for a moment, Haitan spoke to me.

"......In that case, guest, would you entrust the choice of menu to me?"

In modern terms, an omakase?

It wasn't going into my mouth anyway, and looking at a menu was uncomfortable, so I nodded.

"Thank you for your consideration. I will have it ready shortly, so please wait a moment."

The madman left the dining area. His back as he disappeared into the kitchen somehow seemed a little excited.

'......Crazy bastard.'

I sighed and poured cold water into my mouth.

Around the time I felt the food would soon be out, I summoned Alto from <Nest>.

Whoosh.

The characteristic ash-gray flames flickered, and within them, a lizard's face emerged.

Bright yellow eyes turned toward me, and a sullen voice immediately shot out.

"What?"

Every time we met, I was reminded that this little shit didn't think of me as its master in the slightest.

"You complained about the food last time, didn't you?"

"What of it?"

"I told you then. Next time, I'd treat you to a proper meal."

"A meal?"

It was the moment Alto looked around with interest.

"Thank you for waiting."

Haitan appeared, elegantly balancing a plate on one hand. The plate was even covered with a proper cloche.

The instant Haitan noticed Alto, he glanced over and smiled softly.

"A smaller guest than I expected."

Alto said nothing. Meanwhile, Haitan set the plate on the table and gracefully lifted the cover.

At the sight of the dish revealed, I barely managed to hold back a curse. ......What in the world was this food?

Ugh, aaah.......

The first thing that caught my eye was a squirming plant, with a body shaped like a ginseng root and eyes and a mouth attached.

I thought I knew what this plant was.

'That's a mandrake.'

Was it still alive?

It was a pitiful sight, groaning and writhing its roots. Soaked in blood-red sauce, it looked as if it had been painted in blood.......

Even more revolting were the other creatures squirming beneath the sauce.

'Larvae.'

The pale, whitish things reminded me of silkworms....... In other words, insect larvae.

Amazingly, these were also alive.

As if the clinging sauce bothered them, they were slowly swimming across the cramped plate.

"......."

The visuals far exceeded my expectations.

Come to think of it, the game never rendered food this vividly.

'Can it be eaten?'

Since Alto was a Magical Beast, I thought it might be able to eat even something this violently presented, but honestly, I wasn't sure.

For my part, I had no confidence I could eat it. Maybe after starving for a month or so.

"It is mandrake ragù stew."

"......."

"A dish in which I took particular care with freshness. Of course, stew must be simmered thoroughly. When gently cooked in boiling water for hours, any ingredient becomes far removed from 'freshness.'"

Haitan's smile deepened.

"Mandrake is the exception. This miraculous plant does not die even when blanched in boiling oil. Proof of its astonishingly tenacious vitality."

"......."

"In this single bowl, I have included the appetizer, the main course, and even dessert. First, enjoy the silkworms slowly, then eat the mandrake starting from the root."

The cooking lecture I hadn't particularly wanted to hear came to an end.

Only then was I freed from the urge to cover my ears. It was the moment I sighed inwardly.

"Hm."

Alto hopped up onto the table.

"......."

The moment Alto's dirt-covered feet trampled the wooden table, Haitan's eyebrow twitched.

'Shit.'

Was that one stack?

......It's fine. For now. By the game's setting, Haitan overlooks minor rudeness up to three times. Though he'd still give a warning, of course.

[Activating skill, <Telepathy>.]

'Act with some dignity.'

I even used a skill, pouring earnestness into it—

[Trust with the target is low.]

[Magical Beast, 'Alto,' refuses your command.]

Alto merely snorted.

Alto thrust its snout toward the bowl and flared its nostrils. Not a trace of refinement to be seen.

"......."

Haitan had now even crossed his arms.

Two stacks—proof that he was displeased.

But then.

Slurp, smack, smack smack.......

Alto began eating with its snout buried in the plate.

"Hah."

In the end, Haitan even sighed.

Arms still crossed, he tapped his forearm with his fingers.

How should I cook these rude customer bastards? That was exactly what he seemed to be thinking.

'Should I fight?'

But could I even win?

If I woke the White Knight and called the party members, my odds would improve from where they are now. By about 5%.

'Goddammit.'

At least until the meal ended, Haitan wouldn't make the first move. Doing so would violate the 'etiquette' that madman clings to.

In that case, the remaining time was now.......

"Excellent."

Ah. It ate the whole thing.

Having finished the meal, Alto raised its head with a satisfied expression. Ragù sauce was smeared around its mouth like blood.

Slurp.

After licking the sauce clean from around its mouth, Alto spoke in a leisurely tone.

"I shall say it again. It was an excellent dish."

Haitan uncrossed his arms.

Somehow, Haitan looked as if he were about to enter a combat stance. His eyes weren't smiling; with only the corners of his mouth raised, he asked as if daring Alto to go on.

"What did you like about it?"

"The sweet silkworms and the acidity of the sauce blended softly and wrapped around the tip of my tongue. Unlike the long-boiled mandrake, the silkworms seemed as though the sauce had been poured directly over them raw. Thanks to that, I could feel a fresh and amusing texture. It felt less like eating food and more like watching a play."

"......."

Haitan's body froze. His body, which had been leaning slightly forward, returned to its original angle like a roly-poly toy.

Regardless, Alto continued its impressions in a calm voice, as if offering a critique.

"Eating in the order you specified revealed the chef's meticulous consideration. Was the reason you told me to eat the silkworms first so that I could savor their vivid texture before they became completely soggy under the sauce?"

"......That is correct."

"The plant root had a bitter taste, but it formed a proper harmony with the sweetness of the silkworms. Even in the era of Baekeunhyang, I never felt such consideration. It was an excellent dish that showed care and thought for the guest despite it being my first visit. The only flaw is that the sauce's acidity is somewhat strong. For anyone other than me, that stimulation might have been poison instead."

At that point, I couldn't hold back my curiosity and cut in.

"Poison?"

"Simply put, had you eaten it, your stomach would have melted."

"......."

So ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it could withstand it because it's a Magical Beast.

Alto looked at me and spoke in a voice of great satisfaction.

"A meal like this is always welcome. Mere mortal Kaindel. I commend you."

[Trust with Ember Lizard 'Alto' increases.]

......Don't raise trust over something like this.

Alto also spoke while looking at Haitan.

"Of course, the chef also worked hard. I would be glad to have another chance to taste it."

"......Those are the most honorable words a chef can hear. I, too, will look forward to the day I may serve you again."

"Mm. I shall look forward to it."

With a final nod, Alto was enveloped in embers once more and vanished.

"......."

"......."

Did that go well?

The atmosphere didn't seem bad, at least.......

But I also felt like this guy might suddenly say, 'Now that I think about it, I'm in a bad mood. Just die,' and swing a kitchen knife. Haitan's expression was that inscrutable.

"Hm."

I was stealing glances at his reaction.

Haitan looked at me and smiled softly.

"Fascinating."

"......If you'd like, you can talk a little more. I can call Alto back."

"Haha. Of course, that unusual gourmet is fascinating as well, but—"

Haitan's gaze turned to me.

"You are more fascinating, sir."

"Pardon?"

"The conversation we shared today, the attitude you displayed, your timely responses. It was all most impressive. I even enjoyed myself. Ah—how long has it been since I felt this way?"

"......."

"This is a small token of my appreciation for a pleasant meeting. I shall release your companions. You may take them with you."

I almost sighed.

I forced myself to hold onto my unraveling tension and spoke.

"......Thank you."

I gave a brief bow and rose from my seat.

Then I immediately started toward the kitchen behind the stall.......

"......."

I suddenly stopped walking.

Thinking that the gaze I felt on my back was somehow piercing, I slowly opened my mouth.

"Still, I couldn't possibly do that."

I looked back.

Under the sunset-tinged sky, Haitan stared intently at me from within a strangely deep shadow.

"How could an outsider enter the kitchen in such an unclean state?"

At those words, Haitan finally smiled.

'Son of a bitch.'

I knew it.

This goddamn bastard had just tested me one last time.

If I had accepted his favor and obediently crawled into the kitchen? My head and body would have been separated on the spot.

"As expected. You are a properly educated man, Sir Kaindel."

Haitan clapped twice with a satisfied look.

That was the moment.

The massive four-wheeled carriage shrank in an instant, becoming a toy small enough to fit in the palm of a hand.

'A carriage under <Miniaturization> magic?'

How much would that cost?

I don't know for sure, but if it was cast on an object that size, it would be more expensive than a Highest-Grade Exploration Crystal.

"Today was a most impressive meeting. I shall yield this spot to you, sir. Please accept it as an apology for the rudeness I showed today, and as a token of my respect for you."

"......Yes."

"And—"

Haitan approached and held something out.

I took it. It was an extremely luxurious-looking invitation.

Invitation to Lucien Bistro

An invitation to the small restaurant run by Chef Haitan. Only a select few guests recognized by Haitan may receive it.

Haitan spoke.

"<Lucien Bistro> will always welcome your return, sir. I do hope that next time, you yourself will dine, rather than your friend."

What a load of crap. I'll never share a table with you again, not until this game ends.

"......I'll look forward to it."

As I said the opposite of what I felt, Haitan smiled softly.

Then he took an Exploration Crystal from inside his coat. A Highest-Grade Exploration Crystal—one that required no separate incantation.

Flash.

Immediately after, Haitan's entire appearance changed in an instant.

From a handsome young man with dark green hair, to a blue-haired girl with a beaming smile.

"......."

I wasn't particularly surprised.

Haitan is also a master of disguise.

The madman even greeted me in a thin, high voice like a girl's.

"Then, if you'll excuse me."

Whoosh.

And so Haitan left.

Leaving me with a sliver of unease.

'......Please.'

Please, let me never cross paths with that bastard again.