Chapter 45
Chapter 45
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 45
Chapter Title: Flood of Memories
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The guy chattering endlessly over the phone was named Kim Do-hoon.
From our first meeting at kindergarten until we became high schoolers, we were friends who shared meals and traded jokes.
That is, until he sided with those thugs when I was getting bullied...
-Hey. You listening? We were really close, right? We lived right next door.
"......"
-Remember when we snuck into the welfare center in middle school and stole candy?
As he kept talking, Lee Jun-seo's memories came flooding back endlessly, churning up my mind.
'What the hell is this...'
Just like the memories from before, it was a relentless chain of brutal bullying.
But these were beyond anything I could have imagined.
They didn't just force rotten milk down my throat—they made me sit through class on a chair studded with thumbtacks.
And once classes ended, getting beaten like a punching bag was routine.
'Why did I just take it...'
Of course, Lee Jun-seo had quietly told the teachers how hard it was to even come to school because of the violence and bullying.
But...
Nothing changed.
The punishment for the bullies was just campus service, and naturally, the backlash fell on me.
'Is that why I stayed quiet?'
The teachers just told me not to fight and to get along, ignoring everything.
After that.
As time passed, the violence and bullying escalated until Lee Jun-seo couldn't take it anymore and even tried to jump off the school rooftop.
"Ugh..."
The vivid memories made me dry-heave involuntarily.
My hands were slick with cold sweat.
My trembling legs gave out.
Plop!
I collapsed weakly to the floor and clutched my heaving chest.
Even now, it felt like those bastards were pounding on me.
My mind synced with past Lee Jun-seo's, letting the fear dominate my thoughts.
Shiver, shiver.
"Hey! You okay?"
"Excuse me! Say something!"
I heard urgent voices calling me. I wanted to beg for help, but my lips wouldn't part, stuck together.
-Ah, got a delivery. I'll call back later. And forgive me already, okay?
Click!
The moment the call ended, I dropped my hand to the floor and lost consciousness.
The bathroom reeked so badly it wrinkled my nose on instinct, thick smoke hanging in the haze.
Five pairs of legs.
And indistinct indoor shoes layered black and white.
'What the hell is this?'
I clearly passed out at the bus stop. I remember up to that point.
But this place...
"Hey, you fuck. You think my words are a joke?"
I flinched at the sharp voice. It belonged to Kim Tae-seok.
The neighborhood psycho everyone whispered you should never mess with.
I'd been his target since the first semester. All because the girl he liked confessed to me.
What a ridiculous reason.
"So, I told you. Don't even go near Yeon-hee."
"...Ugh."
I tried to get up, but a groan escaped my lips.
My whole body felt wrapped in rebar—heavy, immovable. I slowly turned my head and rolled my eyes upward.
His sharp glare made me shrink, averting my gaze instinctively.
"You think my words are a joke?"
"N-No..."
My lips moved on their own, against my will.
"Hahaha! This fucker's scared."
"What a pussy. Why would Yeon-hee like a loser like him?"
Amid the mocking voices, a familiar one chimed in. My old friend Kim Do-hoon, agreeing with them.
"Heh. Pussy bitch."
"Do-hoon, you handle it. You were friends with this guy, right? If you wanna hang with us, stomp him first."
"Easy."
Being trampled by my longtime friend's dirty indoor shoes, I burst into tears.
I didn't want to feel this betrayal from someone I trusted again...
The emotional wound cut deeper than the pain.
Ten minutes of break time.
Those ten minutes felt eternally long.
Ring ring! Ring ring!
The bell signaling class made Kim Tae-seok click his tongue.
"Ah, fuck. Break time's too damn short. Just getting fun."
"Wanna ditch school and hit the pool hall? Took some cash from this guy's wallet."
Thud! Kim Do-hoon dropped my wallet from his hand.
"Heh. Broke-ass fucker?"
"What? You're even broker."
I was starting to feel relief that it was finally over when my vision warped, the scenery shifting in an instant.
This time, the gym storeroom.
Then the back mountain.
The playground outside school.
Under a bridge...
Reliving every ordeal Lee Jun-seo endured in a flash made it hard to hold onto sanity. It even started feeling normal to get beaten by them.
'Where am I now...'
Before I knew it, I was alone in some bleak, dark void.
How much time passed?
'Feels peaceful...'
Just as I thought it'd be nice to stay like this alone, a sound that lifted my spirits began to drift in.
'Hang in there, even if it's tough. I'll always be by your side.'
You really will?
'Yeah. I never lie.'
Always lying that I was okay...
'I'm really fine, you know? So... do it for our baby too.'
Faint voices in conversation.
My chest ached fiercely, waves of sorrow crashing over me.
"Hehehe. Really? Wow!"
The piercing voice snapped me awake. The stark white, grid-patterned ceiling felt utterly alien.
'Am I... in a hospital?'
Rolling only my eyes, I scanned the room. White curtains and a faint antiseptic alcohol scent.
Definitely a hospital.
"Like this... There! How's that?"
"Wow! So cool!"
"I'm telling you, Uncle here did some knitting at Yu-na's age. Now from here..."
"Yu-na wants to try too!"
"Y-You do?"
Yu-na's familiar voice.
I laboriously turned my head toward the sound.
Director Han Mun-jin and Yu-na sat in chairs, knitting away.
'Why's the director here?'
Rustle. Rustle.
Spotting me stirring, Director Han Mun-jin tossed something over.
My phone.
"You're up?"
"Why are you here, Director...?"
He cut me off.
"Called to tell you your shoot got moved up, then heard you collapsed and rushed over."
"What about Yu-na? Isn't it too early to pick her up...?"
He furrowed his brow like I was spouting nonsense and nodded at me.
"Check the time. What hour is it?"
11 o'clock... Did I just wake up?
No. If the director was right, it was PM.
I'd slept nearly 12 hours.
"Ah... You slept a ton."
"You have no idea how shocked I was. Heard you just dropped. What the hell happened?"
Fair enough. I felt bad for worrying him. But what could I say?
I quietly looked down.
It was because all of Lee Jun-seo's school memories had resurfaced. Nothing I could control.
Plus.
In the image-conscious entertainment world, it's best if severe school bullying doesn't get out.
It'd stir up all sorts of rumors.
Worst case, old photos of me would circulate. So I had to keep this secret.
This crossed the line.
"Sigh... Don't wanna talk? Fine. Anyway! If you're hurting, don't suffer alone—tell someone."
"...Yes."
"Rest up first. I'll wait outside. Let you know when tests come back."
"You're waiting? Aren't you busy, Director?"
"Of course! You think I'm as free as you? Schedules messed up 'cause you collapsed. Whether it's some guy wasting a day with enteritis or you suddenly keeling over right when I push the schedule ahead. All you idiots are the same. Sigh..."
His rapid-fire grumbling made me chuckle despite myself.
"Hahaha."
"What're you laughing at like you did great! If you're fine, get up already. No buses, you gonna walk home with the kid?"
"Yes."
While getting chewed out by the director, Yu-na was glaring fiercely at the bright yellow yarn.
'Why's she glaring like that?'
Leaving Yu-na there for a sec, I slowly got up and headed straight to the nurses' station.
Just mental issues.
Body was fine, so lingering in the ER wouldn't help.
After finishing all the discharge paperwork, I took Yu-na outside and looked for the director.
Spotted him in the smoking area, cigarette in hand. Our eyes met.
He waved us over.
'Hurry up?'
Scooping up Yu-na, I quickened my pace toward him.
"Hey! I said stay back!"
"That was 'stay back'?"
"How harmful is secondhand smoke to kids! Indirect smoking..."
Why am I the one getting scolded?
After the nagging ended, he sighed deeply.
"Sigh. Get in the car first. Address is punched into the nav."
I hopped into the passenger seat of his car, set the nav, and hugged Yu-na tight on my lap.
Then sank into thought.
Now, even a slight recall brings Lee Jun-seo's memories perfectly.
'Right, psychological therapy...'
Even after graduation, past trauma made daily life impossible. Seeing uniformed students turned the world white; I couldn't function.
Still.
For my pregnant wife carrying Yu-na, I stuck with counseling and therapy, getting better than before.
'Thought only happy times left, but around my birthday...'
My frail wife passed away.
'You said you'd always be by my side...'
She was a liar.
Pregnant despite her health, she lied.
Couldn't break her stubbornness; she had Yu-na.
The aftermath weakened her body further.
"......"
Unknowingly, tears fell onto Yu-na's head.
Oblivious, she dozed with little nods.
Careful not to wake her.
I hastily wiped my tears with my sleeve.
'Yu-na's alive and well. Why didn't you try harder... Wife told you to live happily...'
Recalling the past revives the pain as if it's happening now.
But I have to live.
As the dad responsible for raising this little girl in my arms.
'Revisit psychological therapy to overcome it all?'
I clenched my fist.
After dropping Yu-na at kindergarten, I visited the counseling center for the first time in ages.
In the waiting room, I scanned around until my name was called.
First time here, but Lee Jun-seo's memories made it feel familiar.
"Lee Jun-seo-ssi. Come on in."
"Ah, yes!"
Following the nurse, I entered and opened the counseling room door.
"Long time no see."
"Yes... It's been a while."
The woman greeting me with a bright smile was my long-time therapist.
One of the few who knew my story in detail.
"So, since it's been a while, shall we start with a questionnaire?"
"...Yes."
I carefully read the form she gave me and filled in the answers diligently.