The Ride Home
There’s a saying that good times pass quickly. I used to think it was a lie, but I was wrong.
Four whole days had gone by so fast I could hardly believe it. If that wasn’t the case, how could four days feel like nothing?
“Already time to go back…”
“Yeah.”
“At least you got to ride back with Unnie. That’s a relief.”
The surprising part wasn’t just how fast the days had flown—it was that I was starting to call her “Unnie” without thinking twice. My beast heart still tugged at the edges of everything, but I chose adaptation over discomfort.
“Yeah.”
“If I’d been alone, finding my way back would’ve been a nightmare. I’m really grateful.”
“Yeah.”
“Unnie?”
“Yeah.”
My reply came out like a broken robot. I was staring blankly when her gaze snapped straight to my legs. The cast was long gone, of course—Awakener bodies healed fast and regrew strong.
The doctor had warned me to avoid intense exercise, but I figured he was just going through the motions. After all, he knew exactly what we Awakeners did for a living. He couldn’t force me to stay put.
And I could walk. I could run. I hadn’t even planned to walk when I got here. Kim Heejin had zero reason to feel guilty.
—Thump!
I clapped my fingers right in front of her face, and Kim Heejin jolted, eyes meeting mine for the first time. She was finally looking at me?
“Eek!”
Then she whipped her head away like she’d been burned, adding a soft “Ugh” of embarrassment. That was too much!
…But I understood. This wasn’t the kind of reaction born from dislike. The street-smart instincts she’d picked up at the scene and from my part-time job were shining through now. She was trying to hide her embarrassment!
So the obvious question followed.
What on earth was she so shy about?
I didn’t need to think too hard to figure it out.
“You don’t have to apologize. Or thank me.”
“Ah, really…?”
“I know you hate saying ‘sorry’ or ‘thank you.’ I can tell because I know your heart.”
I flashed her a bright smile, fangs glinting. That should’ve been enough to let her off the hook.
“You really know? What? What do you know?!”
But strangely, even with that easy smile, Kim Heejin didn’t relax. Instead she slapped both cheeks and let out a dramatic groan.
It didn’t match her expression at all. What did she mean? What was she thinking?
“I’ve been saying sorry this whole time. And thanking you.”
“Ah… now that you mention it, yeah. So is there something else bothering you?”
“That’s…”
Kim Heejin slid over to the window seat, the one that was basically two seats in a bus. She kept darting glances at me, then quickly away again. I’d watched her do it nearly four days straight, but every single time it still felt impossible to understand.
“Ah, we’re starting. Unnie is…”
She kept her eyes fixed on the window. Her reflection was closed, like she was asleep. Had she dozed off while I was thinking?
She’d been moving around nonstop on vacation. It made sense.
I let myself drift back into the memories of our little getaway.
“Thought you’d like the real local spot?”
“…The staff is staring at you.”
“No, not that. The taste part.”
“If I just leave that guy alone, things might get messy… huh? Here we go.”
“Um… excuse me… that…”
“…Sounds like you’re being called?”
“Excuse me! Are you Kim Heejin-nim, the Awakener?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Wow, being an Awakener for so long must mean you get recognized everywhere.”
“And this lady in front of us is Seo Harang-nim…”
“Eek?”
“I recognized you from Stagram. I’ve been a fan ever since I first saw you. Seeing you in person is even prettier!”
“Ah… uh, yeah… it’s embarrassing. I’m not used to hearing that.”
“Ehehe! You’re really pretty! Total masterpiece! So, anyway… maybe a photo and your number…”
“Excuse me.”
“Yes? Huh?!”
“Those kinds of things feel weird. Even I do it and she does it.”
“Ah, I’m sorry…”
We hadn’t stuck to franchise restaurants at all. We’d hunted down real local gems, and Kim Heejin had kept every creepy guy away from me.
I was grateful. Guys still made me feel uneasy about giving out numbers.
“So what do you know about makeup?”
“…Snail cream?”
“Not that.”
“You wouldn’t know either.”
“I know! You’re not ordinary. Most people know a few things. And honestly, not even knowing the names of makeup products is super weird.”
“Fine, I’ll learn!”
“…That positive attitude is… good, good…”
“Really?”
“Bullshit!”
“Too much!”
“Anyway… I don’t think badly of you, so just take a look around…”
“Excuse me!”
“Ah, here we go again.”
“Harang-nim! I saw you on Stagram! If you’re free, can we match?”
“…You not showing any disgust? We’re on vacation, so I wish you’d just let us be…”
“Waaah! Scary!”
We’d even wandered into department stores and makeup shops. Kim Heejin had chased away every person who approached me. I’d felt awkward myself, but I was glad she’d stepped in first.
“So what kind of movies do you like?”
“Me? Uh… if I watch, I go for noir and action?”
“Really? Same here! Perfect timing. I already booked tickets. We’ll both love it.”
“Great! Then we can both enjoy!”
“Excuse me!”
“Again? Again? This time it’s a woman?”
“Um… Kim Heejin-nim! I’m really your fan! Seeing you in person is intimidating as hell… ah! The one beside me is…”
“My junior.”
“Your junior? Wow, amazing. Total picture-perfect… both of you are so cool…! Can we get a photo?”
“Ah, sure…”
We’d even gone to the movies, and Kim Heejin had happily accepted a number request—no hesitation. Maybe because she thought I was a fan and didn’t want to refuse.
“Hey, Kim Heejin-nim, can I have your number?”
“I don’t want to! Just leave me alone?”
“Got it!”
Well, that wasn’t the kind of thing I’d expected. Whether fan or not, she handled it with such conviction—it was strangely refreshing.
Anyway, during vacation we’d spent every day together, doing all sorts of things.
At first Kim Heejin, still stuck in her “Unnie” mindset, had been guarding me like I might cause an accident… and slowly her heart had thawed.
Wait… was I really an accident magnet?
By the time that thought hit me, I understood exactly how much she’d struggled. As an older-sister senior, my unit leader, and older than me, she’d been putting herself out. Now that we were heading back, she wouldn’t have to babysit me anymore. She could relax.
She wanted to sit, then lie down, then sleep. I got that.
“Thanks.”
The bus rumbled to life and I gave her a soft, quiet thank-you.
…Saying it like that made me feel way too embarrassed. Kim Heejin had been hiding that feeling all along.
But I’d been born a man. If I’d made a decision, I had to act on it. So right now, with my resolve firm, my eyes caught those thin legs again.
No way! I wasn’t a man anymore!
“Unnie.”
Even though I said “Unnie,” the beast in my chest wanted proper thanks. I’d drawn my blade and was ready to thank her properly.
“Thanks. For playing with me, and for watching over me when I was about to cause trouble. I don’t have many memories of playing with anyone else. I had so much fun. Because of you.”
My breathing grew heavier. The ears peeking out from my ponytail slowly flushed red.
What? Did I wake her up?
“Fwu… sss…”
No, not that. She was probably lost in a shy dream.
It was better if I stopped now. The bus was moving. I could feel the barracks getting closer. When we got back I’d have to call her “Kim Heejin-nim” again. I should practice.
+ + +
Thump. Thump.
Kim Heejin’s heart was hammering like crazy. A simple thank-you. The same words she’d heard every time I defeated a monster or went on a mission.
But coming from Seo Harang, they hit different.
She couldn’t hold back the heat rising in her chest.
What was this? The heat? The heartbeat? The emotion?
Her feverish body refused to cool. Leaning against the window, she used the glass as a mirror to watch Harang.
‘God, I’m going crazy.’
Just looking at her made me happy. And my heart was hurting because of it.
‘If I’d stayed five more days… not fourteen, but fifteen… if I’d taken all fifteen days with her, would Harang have followed me too?’
If she had, we might have gotten even closer.
—Knock!
Kim Heejin lightly tapped her head against the window as if wiping away the childish feeling in her chest.
‘Ouch, did I make too much noise? Did anyone hear? If she asks why I’m worried, what should I say…?’
‘The bus was shaking,’ ‘No! I’m fine! I just fell asleep!’ The thousand excuses she’d prepared in that split second… but she never got the chance.
Harang hadn’t said a word.
‘If I showed a little more worry… would it help? …No, what am I thinking? What am I even thinking?’
The moment she realized what she was feeling, Kim Heejin was shocked. She was proving how much she loved Harang—far more than she should have.
Once she recognized it, she couldn’t escape. Like sinking into a swamp, her ankle was being dragged deeper.
…Maybe just letting the current take her was the easiest way.
The guilt of falling for someone of the same gender? If she felt that, she never would’ve started feeling this way in the first place.
Again.
Kim Heejin turned her head to look at Harang’s reflection in the window. The outside light was too bright.
She slowly turned to face her directly.
Black hair. Large black eyes and long lashes. Fair skin and cat-like features.
Everything about her was beautiful and lovable, and Kim Heejin wanted to stay right there forever.
“Hm?”
“…You look a little dizzy.”
“Really?”
We were going back. Harang would go back to being my junior, and I would go back to being the senior.
And I wouldn’t be able to show this side to the other girls. To my unit members, I was the one who kept the hierarchy straight.
So right now… just once.
“Just a second. I need a trash bag…”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just a little messy. So… can I use your pillow for a second?”
I wanted to steal one more moment of joy.
“Don’t throw up.”
“I won’t.”
Even as she offered her shoulder with a straight face, Kim Heejin felt a different kind of happiness wrap around her. The lack of flesh on the shoulder only made it more uncomfortable, but that was nothing compared to the joy.
‘Did she ask if I was a lesbian? I can’t say that anymore now that things have turned out like this.’
Kim Heejin had accepted her fall.