The Sparrow’s Secret Message
The meals brought to her bedroom were luxurious, and the maids remained as polite as ever. Yet, the fact that Lilian was being held captive remained unchanged.
At first, Lilian had wailed for them to call Sophia, but once she realized she could not persuade her, she began to ask for Roella. Roella would not refuse her request. For now, that was the only thing she could cling to.
However, Caroline, who came in Roella’s stead, spoke coldly with a look of contempt.
“Does the Empress wish to drive even the Princess into a corner?”
“That’s not it. That’s not…!”
“It would be best if you remained in quiet confinement until the Head Maid settles the situation.”
Realizing that even her own daughter was not on her side, Lilian fell into deeper despair.
It felt like sinking into a swamp. This was the first time she had felt this desperate since she had lost her job as a lady-in-waiting in her youth and was cast out.
She resented the world. They had simply fallen in love. She had felt guilty for falling in love with a young man the age of her son, but the kind Zion had forgiven her and willingly embraced her.
This love was surely inevitable. It was just a cruel twist of fate that they were born in different times, only to truly meet after so many long years had passed.
Lilian sat blankly on the bed, then lay back down, repeating the cycle of weeping. If she had known the truth twenty years ago, she never would have accepted the Schwab family’s offer, no matter what the devil used to tempt her. She had only just found true love.
She missed Zion. How worried must he be about her? Just thinking about it made tears well up again, blurring her vision.
Click.
It was then that the door opened quietly. Thinking it was mealtime again, Lilian turned her gaze. Frederica entered with a tray of refreshments.
Lilian, having no strength left to beg, didn’t even look at her and closed her eyes again. The young maid spoke in a voice filled with sympathy.
“Please, try eating at least a sugar cube. You must keep your strength up to endure this.”
“What am I enduring for?”
Lilian muttered weakly. If she just died like this, would she remain in Zion’s heart forever? Only such thoughts filled her mind.
Frederica hesitated, lingering as if unsure, but then, as if she had made a great decision, she took a deep breath. She set the refreshment tray on the side table, walked to the bed, and sat down beside Lilian.
“I know how sad you are, Empress. But you must also think of the heart of the person who loves you.”
“There is no such person.”
Lilian said, consumed by despair. She meant it. The Emperor had never once been her husband, and she had been abandoned by Roella. At the very least, the ‘person who loves her’ that the maids spoke of was all a lie, a vain delusion.
However, instead of soothing her further, Frederica carefully pulled an envelope from her pocket and pressed it into Lilian’s hand. Lilian flinched, her eyes widening.
“Please burn it after you read it. You mustn’t let the Head Maid find out.”
“Ah. Th-thank you.”
She said hurriedly to Frederica, who was standing up. Frederica shook her head lightly, signaling it was nothing, and left the room, leaving the tray behind.
Lilian scrambled to open the envelope. The seal was already broken, as if Frederica had already opened and read it.
To my beloved Lily,
I hope this letter reaches your hands.
They say fate is harsh, but the bonds between us are even crueler. If it were to be this painful, I would have preferred to wander forever, searching for you without ever having reunited.
But we have met, and now we are parted so helplessly. Even now, as I write this, my heart is burdened and overflowing with feelings for you. Even if the world tears us apart, this heart of mine will remain yours forever.
My beloved Lily, my sanctuary. I wish for your happiness. Because your laughter is my joy, my reward, and the only light in my life, I hope you forget me. I will take all our memories with me and cherish them. Until the dawn comes.
I only hope you remember the conversation we shared in the flower nest by the Lenox River.
Please, stay healthy and be at peace always. Do not grieve because of someone like me. I only pray that you let this letter fall into your tears just once.
Yours, your Sparrow.
Lilian read the letter over and over. Endless tears fell onto the paper.
She hesitated as she went to wipe it, fearing the ink would smudge. A tear rolled over a certain word, and only after it slid down did it soak in and blur the ink.
She tentatively touched that spot. Her fingertips felt a slippery, thin film. She scratched at it with her fingernail. There were letters coated in a very thin layer of wax.
‘Drop it into your tears?’
Those words struck her anew. And so did the words covered in wax.
Zion had written for her to remember the conversation at the flower nest by the Lenox River, but Lilian could not quite understand that one sentence.
She knew where the place he mentioned was. They had once found a bird’s nest while taking a walk along the deserted riverbank. Perhaps a bird had brought it, or perhaps it had been carried by the wind, but a small flower was resting on top of the nest.
“That nest looks like you.”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“Since I am a sparrow, you, who took care of me, were naturally like a nest to me.”
Lilian had laughed in disbelief, saying she had never seen anyone give such a nickname. Zion had smiled gently and replied,
“If the problem is that you are too beautiful to be called that, how about a nest made of flowers?”
It was a trivial conversation, but remembering it made her heart ache as if it were being constricted, and Lilian gasped for air.
She summoned her courage. This letter might be the last trace she received from Zion.
However, Frederica had advised her to burn it, and it was obvious that if she kept it, Sophia would find and destroy it. If that was going to happen anyway, it was better to destroy it first to find any hidden secrets.
‘I’m not just imagining things, am I? No, it can’t be….’
She poured her tea over the letter.
The ink melted and smudged quickly, staining the paper black. Then, the parts coated in thin wax rose up in white.
6. 15
And there were three remaining phrases.
Until you come
At the flower nest by the Lenox River
Lilian covered her mouth to keep from screaming. Zion did not intend to give up on her. She was indescribably happy at that fact, and at the same time, she felt afraid when she thought about what it meant to escape the Imperial Palace.
Lilian steeled her heart, repeated the date written on the letter to herself a few times, then removed the lampshade and held the letter to the candlelight. It took a while for the wet paper to catch fire, but soon it turned to ash and crumbled away.
After that, she returned to the refreshment tray and took a bite of a sugar cube. As the sweetness filled her mouth, she felt a little more energized.
If she was going to escape, she had to eat well. And if she looked haggard and ugly when they met again, how worried would Zion be? She couldn’t let that happen.
They would be able to be happy. If only they could leave this country, as a man and a woman who loved each other, they would surely be able to live happily.
With that hope, she swallowed every snack on the tray, then pulled the bell cord to call the maid.
Back home, Frederica let out a sigh without realizing it.
‘I don’t know if I did the right thing.’
It was two days ago that Zion’s letter had come into her hands. Her personal maid had brought her flowers and a letter, saying someone had begged her to deliver them. Frederica was the one who received them, but the recipient of the letter was Lilian.
Frederica, too, pitied Lilian. She was still at an age that valued the worth of romantic love, and since she had often followed as an attendant on the days Lilian met Zion, she had watched the two grow closer little by little. She had seen Zion’s deep affection flow toward Lilian, moistening her like a withered flower.
Separating them like this was cruel. Lilian had committed a wrong, but Frederica thought she should at least be allowed to say a proper goodbye.
Of course, she wasn’t a fool, so she had opened and reviewed Zion’s letter. There was no problematic content. It was a mournful love letter, but it was bidding farewell.
‘Lady Sophia would have told me to just get rid of it.’
She thought to herself, as if making excuses for the lingering discomfort in her heart.
Would Zion be grateful if she told him she had delivered the letter? She imagined for a moment delivering the news to him and receiving his thanks. It might not be a bad thing. It would be good to advise him to leave Sirach as well.
She could use that as an excuse to meet him at least once. Frederica muttered that she was doing a good deed, trying to ignore the fluttering of her heart.