The Princess's Mask
I can do this.
I even managed to seduce Ezekiel. Compared to that, keeping a calm face in front of Theodore is nothing.
Olivia released her lip from between her teeth, where she had been biting down hard, and rubbed her lips together to erase the marks. She composed her expression and suppressed her emotions. It was different from Laila, but this, too, was the mask of an Imperial Princess she would have to wear for the rest of her life.
“Don’t do that, Theo. Get up, quickly.”
She gripped Theodore’s arm. He lifted his gaze naturally to look at her. Perhaps because of the shadows cast by the candlelight, his dark eyes seemed even blacker than usual.
Olivia was deeply worried that he might hear the sound of her heart pounding. She wasn’t even sure if she was maintaining a composed expression. Her voice didn’t seem to tremble, at least.
She spoke in a normal voice, as lightly as she could, while keeping herself as composed as possible.
“It’s dangerous to call me that, for now.”
Theodore looked at her in silence.
“Schwaben knows that I am Olivia Peril, who lived in Lutgarth Castle. They’ve likely even discovered that my mother was a lady-in-waiting to the late Empress.”
“…….”
“If you act like this, they will realize who I am immediately.”
At those words, he nodded and slowly stood up. Olivia stared intently as his well-defined lips moved once, then closed again. She knew all too well how delicately those lips could move when they bit her own, or how they could indulge in her without causing pain.
“Olivia.”
It was a form of address that felt distant. Olivia knew his gaze was veering away from her again.
It was agonizing. No matter what her status was, the true version of herself was the woman he called “Via.”
But she pressed that woman deep down into her heart and hid her away. Convinced that Theodore was addressing her correctly for the present, she lowered her eyes. The light breath Theodore exhaled scattered between them like a hot sigh.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand. I judged it to be dangerous. Originally, I intended to hide my origins from Lutgarth entirely. That was why I created the identity of Laila.”
“Did you not say that the Duke of Schwaben knows you are Olivia Peril?”
“Not everything always goes according to plan. I wanted to reveal it after I was more prepared, but….”
“After you had the Duke of Schwaben in the palm of your hand?”
After asking back, Theodore wore an expression that was neither a smile nor anything else, his face bitter.
“No, I spoke as if I were criticizing you. That is not the case. If you can capture the heart of the Duke of Schwaben, there would be nothing more helpful to the restoration.”
“No.”
Olivia denied it in a voice that had become a whisper, as she was trying hard not to scream.
“If that were the case, I wouldn’t have hidden my identity to this extent. Grandfather wouldn’t have summoned you in this manner, either.”
“…Olivia.”
“I am going to be the Emperor.”
She spoke with sincerity. To achieve that, she could do anything. What was so difficult about enduring the disgust of the flesh? She had already endured years of pretending to be in love.
Theodore looked down at her with eyes that seemed startled. Instead of groaning like a wounded beast, Olivia raised her head proudly and said:
“I need the unwavering loyalty of Lutgarth.”
“Help me.”
That was the phrase she truly wanted to say, but she did not.
In her previous life, she had said exactly that, and the result had been catastrophic. Olivia now knew that Theodore’s methods could not defeat Schwaben.
So, this time, she would fight in a different way.
She would shoulder all the responsibility, and she would make all the decisions. She would likely continue to do things that he would despise, but that was not more important than his life.
Theodore’s expression settled into a calm and composed state. It was that face from her third life, the one Olivia knew all too well.
“Just as my father did, my loyalty will always be with you.”
Olivia took a deep breath. Theodore had promised to give her the most important thing he possessed with all his heart, but with that single sentence, the distance between them had widened irrevocably.
Now, he would never kiss her again. The events of that night had scattered like a mere dream.
And so had his true heart.
Now, all that remained was the Imperial Princess Olivia, and that was how it had to be.
That night was incredibly beautiful.
Countless stars bloomed in the night sky, and the pouring Milky Way connected with the ripples that looked like silver scales. Every time a cool breeze blew, the scent of lilacs carried from somewhere mixed with the smell of water and filled her chest, making it feel as if she had entered a space completely different from the world where one had to breathe in congested air.
Lillian walked slowly with the hood of her black cloak pulled low, suddenly thinking that she was the only thing in this scene that wasn’t beautiful. Did the young, beautiful man walking beside her think the same?
Sion Miller was a man who suited the scent of flowers. Perhaps the fragrance she was smelling was coming from him.
There were very few people taking a night walk along the banks of the Renos River today. That was why she was gripped by the illusion that they were the only two people in the entire shining world.
Lillian found that somehow agonizing. Just as it had been suffocating and painful when the scent of flowers filled her chest.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why would you suddenly say that?”
“Just, that thought crossed my mind.”
Lillian muttered. It was because she felt she should pay a proper price for the time they spent together.
She had a small amount of power, but there was nothing she could do for Sion. Her vanity dresser drawers were full of sparkling wealth, but she couldn’t take any of it out for him.
Even their meetings were not complete. Only on days when she had a maid who took her side could she make the excuse of a night walk to come out and walk together in the darkness like this for a moment.
Then again, even if they could meet in the bright daylight, it wouldn’t necessarily be a happy thing for Sion. Meeting a woman nearly twenty years his senior probably wasn’t something he would be proud of.
Lillian couldn’t help but think about what it would be like if she were a true noblewoman. If she had been born as the daughter of a powerful noble family and were a complete mistress with her own power, it wouldn’t have been a problem to have an lover or two. She could have kissed him while gripped by passion, and she could have sent a large bouquet of flowers every night a performance was held. She could have taken off a gold bracelet and bought him a house.
But she couldn’t do that. She had become the Empress through the power of Schwaben, solely because she had given birth to an Imperial Princess despite her lowly status. A scandal would shatter the authority that had barely existed to begin with.
Because she feared that, she couldn’t do anything for Sion.
“I have nothing I can give you.”
No patronage, no wealth, no power. Not even the passion of a woman. She couldn’t give him anything Sion might expect from her.
His footsteps stopped. Lillian turned to look at him, puzzled.
Sion slightly lifted the hat he had been wearing pulled low, just like her. Since Lillian was significantly shorter than him, that alone allowed her to see his expression fully.
Sion had a face that was subtly distorted, as if he were both sad and happy.
“Do you think I am meeting you, Lily, because I desire something?”
“Ah, it’s not that I think you are greedy or anything like that….”
“If my goal were to seduce a wealthy lady and make a fortune, I would have targeted a rich widow. If things went well, I might have even become a noble.”
“Sion.”
Sion began to walk again. His long, quick strides soon outpaced Lillian. However, when she began to follow him with hurried, short steps in a panic, he soon slowed his pace to match her speed.
For a while, the two walked a bit further in silence. Lillian was anxiously gauging his mood, worried that he might have been offended, when he opened his mouth.
“When I was young.”
“Yes….”
“My family was very poor. Well, that’s how it is for unsuccessful performers. My father was an actor whom no one called for, and my mother played roles that were better left unplayed. My mother seemed to want my father to work at least as a laborer, but he didn’t do that and stayed home, and he didn’t exactly take care of me, either.”
This was the first time Sion had told her his own story.