The Longing That Finally Breaks
Theodore gasped for air, kissing Olivia’s lips over and over again. She could feel his hands trembling as they stripped the gown from her shoulders.
The scent of damp earth rising from the dew-covered ground mingled with the fragrance of the small country and his own heated, masculine musk, making her head spin. Olivia felt a wave of vertigo and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.
The emotions she had struggled to suppress, even before her return, erupted alongside her tears. The desire to cling to him, the desperation she had wanted to plead with him to understand, the joy of seeing him safe, and the crushing guilt of having been the one to lead him to his death.
And, above all else, the anxiety.
She had thought he might hate her. In her previous life, when she had confessed everything, he had willingly become her ally. But she had always assumed that was merely out of a sense of duty.
Was it not? Whether it was her fault or not, his mother had died because of her and her nursemaid. He had left home at a young age, leaving behind the words that he hated her, and never looked his father in the eye again.
That was why she had never once been able to cling to him. Even though she had missed him so dearly, she had never once been able to cry in his arms.
Perhaps such things were not important. There had been too much work to do, and the only emotion permitted to her had been mourning for Pavel.
But when she woke up in her fourth life, the first thing she thought of was why he had kissed her.
Had he ever loved her?
Had he thought of her as much as she had thought of him?
In that horrific third life, if she had only hugged his neck and cried, would he have held her?
Olivia’s life had been lonely. She could share her miserable, repeating life with no one, and there was no one left she could love. She had to endure such a life for decades.
Whenever she felt like she couldn't breathe, she often thought of her childhood, which had been made of nothing but light. She thought of the love and kindness that Pavel and Peril had poured upon her, and of the people of this castle and the territory.
And in those memories, Theodore was the brightest existence of all.
She had admired him. She had secretly prayed to God every day, wishing he were her real brother. She thought that if they were, they would have a bond that could never be broken, no matter what happened.
When he left, leaving behind the words that he hated her, she cried until her eyes were swollen shut for days. She had even complained to Pavel, asking if he had left home and abandoned her because she was a bad child.
Even after she became an adult and learned the whole truth, she sometimes thought of that time. She was glad that Theodore hadn't been closer to her. When life was miserable and she needed someone to miss, she would wonder about him, hoping he was living happily somewhere.
She could only sob, overwhelmed by the longing that had piled up layer by layer over the repeating years until it was ready to burst.
"..."
Theodore said nothing, even as he watched her cry. He feared that if he said anything, she would only utter words of rejection.
He sealed her lips with his, stealing her breath so she could say nothing. His urgent hands roamed all over her body. He traced her neck and shoulders, then rested lightly upon her firm breasts. Olivia reached inside his coat to pull it off, bending her knees so he could easily push up the hem of her skirt.
Their bodies, pressed together, rose in temperature in unison. Olivia’s breasts were taut and swollen to the point of pain. Her lower abdomen tightened, and her breath grew shallow.
She wanted him to the point of madness. She was surprised that she had only just realized this fact. Even after thinking of him and missing him so much...
"Olivia."
Theodore finally called her name in a low voice. A whisper, mixed with hot, ragged breaths, spilled from Olivia’s lips.
"Do as you wish, Theo. Do as you wish."
Because that was what she wanted, too.
Theodore pushed her skirt up to her waist. Olivia’s entrance was already soaking through her undergarments.
"Ah, yes. Hah, ahh."
Olivia covered her mouth with her hand. Theodore hurriedly pulled down her undergarments and loosened his trousers.
Pre-ejaculate was already flowing from the tip of his thick, rigid member, which had reached its limit. Having lost all patience and consideration, he blindly thrust himself into her narrow opening.
"Ugh—!"
Even though she had been muffling herself, a scream-like sound burst from Olivia’s lips.
"Ngh."
Theodore let out a groan. Although Olivia’s passage was slick with arousal, it was impossible to breach a path that had never been opened before in one single thrust.
Wedged tightly between her painfully narrow walls, he gritted his teeth. The mere fact that he was inside her made his head spin, and unable to endure it any longer, he ejaculated right then and there.
"Hah."
"Mmph...!"
Olivia turned her head and bit down on his sleeve. Pain and ecstasy seized her body together. There was little physical pleasure, but the mental fulfillment was more than enough.
Theodore regained some of his senses and looked down at her.
He had done something irrevocable.
Ragged breaths escaped his lips. Olivia, crying with a flushed face, was more beautiful than anything he had ever dreamed of.
"Via..."
He couldn't help but call her name. Olivia, gasping for air, grabbed his arms and sobbed, "Kiss me. Kiss me, Theo. Kiss me."
As if everything would be solved if they only kissed, Olivia pleaded over and over. Theodore could not refuse her; he leaned down while still hovering over her, licked her lips, which were salty with tears, and then slowly changed the angle to press his lips against hers once more.
"Hic, sob..."
Olivia continued to sob between their kisses.
His member, which had not shrunk despite having ejaculated once, remained wedged in her walls, neither fully in nor out. No, that wasn't the right way to put it. Theodore had no intention of leaving her body.
Even knowing it would cause her pain, he slowly pushed his hips forward. There was much more moisture now in the entrance where his semen had pooled.
"It's okay, sob."
Olivia whispered again.
"Come in, inside me. Come in. Ahh...!"
At that moment, unable to hold back any longer, he thrust himself in with all his might, all the way to the root.
As he pierced her deep into her belly, Olivia curled her body. The entrance, stretched to its limit, was painful, but when she thought that it was Theodore who was inside her, even that felt joyful.
"Damn it...!"
Theodore spat out a curse in a low voice. He truly could not hold back even a little bit more.
Even though he had already shoved himself in to the root, he was desperate to force even more of himself into her body. Feeling her body open up little by little to accept him, he felt as if his brain were turning to mush.
He thrust his hips forward like a madman. As he stimulated her deep inside, Olivia let out a pained moan.
"Hic, sob...!"
Semen and arousal fluid mixed and leaked from the gaps of her filled entrance. Theodore, barely withdrawing, rammed into her deep, hidden places over and over again.
Olivia let out a pained moan. She felt the illusion that he was thrusting right up to just below her chest. As she grew accustomed to the pain, the sensation of her body being stretched began to feel like pleasure. Deep inside her, moisture welled up, and a wet, squelching sound filled the air.
"Haa, ahh."
How could it be this ecstatic to share a body with the one she had longed for?
Without even feeling the pain of her back lying on the hard ground, she sobbed and clung tightly to Theodore’s shoulders. And every time he pierced her deep inside, she lifted her hips to accept him, as if wishing for him to enter even deeper.
"Ahh, hah, Theo, ahh."
"Hah, ahh."
Theodore groaned and attacked her lips again. A greedy kiss followed, as if he wanted to swallow even her last breath.
Finally, he pushed himself in with a firm thrust, drenching Olivia’s insides with his seed. Olivia sobbed, ecstatically accepting the sensation.