Chapter 48
Chapter 48
Translation: godsn
A white pigeon alighted gracefully onto the balcony railing. Folding its wings, the bird naturally made its way toward where the feed container was placed. The setting sun's light filtered through the white feathers of the leisurely pecking bird.
"Phoebe."
Spotting the bird through the window, Matthias softly murmured the name that Leila had once called out so desperately. Phoebe. What an absurdly grandiose name for a mere pigeon. A soft sigh escaped him, carrying the same derision he felt toward that peculiar woman who was so infatuated with birds.
Matthias rose from the sofa and opened the door leading to the balcony. The wind blowing from the river was chilly and damp. Even as he approached, the pigeon showed no wariness, wholly engrossed in pecking at its feed. It was a docile creature, quite unlike its owner in temperament.
As Matthias leaned against the railing, the sunset bathed him in its glow. Closing his eyes, the sound of the wind grew distinct. The rustling of autumn leaves in the forest was beautifully serene.
Everywhere he looked, Arvis was steeped in autumn.
Leila had been here—pedaling her bicycle diligently to work in the mornings, returning slightly weary in the evenings. In her spare time, she helped with the gardener's tasks as she used to, and sometimes wandered through the woods with a basket, busily gathering mushrooms or wild berries.
This beautiful Arvis—all the things that comprised his world—remained perfectly in place.
That flawless order satisfied Matthias. And that fact was enough to erase the disillusionment he had tasted last summer when he became the secret accomplice—or perhaps the whistleblower—in Linda Etman's desperate attempt to prevent her son's marriage.
Leila was right where she should be.
In the pleasant haze of satisfaction spreading through him, Matthias opened his eyes. The well-fed pigeon soon took flight from the balcony, heading in the direction of the cabin. It seemed it would now return to its owner.
Matthias could now be certain that the bird would return here tomorrow, and the day after. He had no interest in the mind of a pigeon, but he knew well how to tame one.
What motivated carrier pigeons was the assurance of a stable place where they could eat their fill. Matthias had learned this on the battlefield. When communication was unreliable or there was a risk of messages being intercepted by the enemy, well-trained carrier pigeons were deployed. The principle of taming birds for military operations was no different.
Leila's carrier pigeon, Phoebe, had now realized it. Flying to Kyle Etman's window would yield nothing. Then a new source of food had appeared—a safe one—and so Phoebe now flew to him instead. Unlike its foolish owner, it was quite a clever bird.
As Matthias watched the direction the pigeon flew, his brow suddenly furrowed. The memory of Leila's face from that autumn picnic surfaced—the smile that had faded the moment their eyes met.
Yet it was a smile she would have shown the doctor's son without hesitation.
When his thoughts reached that point, the shadow left by that fleeting, vanished smile grew darker.
Since childhood, Leila had never smiled in his presence, but she had never been able to hold back her tears either. So she cried. If he couldn't make her smile, then making her cry would suffice. Whether smiles or tears, it made no difference to Matthias. If tears were what he could give, then tears he gave. If wounds, then wounds.
But what if he could give her something else?
Lately, he often found himself lost in such thoughts. He no longer wanted to see Leila filled with fear or anger. The only Leila he wanted to gaze upon was one who might, at times, demand something almost petulantly—and when given it, would break into a smile of overwhelming joy.
Matthias now understood desire.
He wanted Leila Lewellin. Every part of her, everything.
"You've gained weight, Phoebe?"
Leila frowned as she examined the pigeon cradled in both hands, turning it this way and that. At first, she thought its plumpness came from the dense feathers grown for winter, but upon closer inspection, it was clearly fat.
"Is it because of autumn?"
Coo-coo-coo-coo. As Phoebe cried as if feigning innocence, Leila persistently pressed on.
"Where have you been eating? Kyle isn't even here anymore."
The last words, carelessly uttered, left Leila dazed.
Though the mere thought of that name inevitably made her eyes burn, Leila struggled not to cry. Hadn't they promised? I'll live well, so you live well too. So Leila had to live well. As much as she wished for Kyle to live well, she would do her utmost.
Taking a deep breath to calm her emotions, Leila released the plump Phoebe. The pigeon, wandering the yard, soon flew off toward the forest beyond.
It was an ordinary day.
Leila diligently finished her morning routine and, after being seen off by Uncle Bill, set off for work. The sound of her bicycle chain turning continued along Arvis's path, beautifully colored with autumn leaves.
"Teacher!"
As she turned onto the road in front of the school, children who recognized Leila cheered and waved. Dismounting her bicycle, Leila entered the schoolyard with them.
Perhaps it wasn't just an ordinary day—maybe it was closer to happiness.
The children were much quieter than usual and performed evenly well in their arithmetic and spelling tests. The drowsy warmth spreading through the classroom as the stove was lit, the small talk shared with Teacher Greber during lunch, the high, blue sky without a single cloud—Leila liked it all.
So she should smile.
Steeling her heart, she wore a bright smile every time memories of Kyle surfaced. She was certain she had kept it up until her commute home. But as she neared Arvis, as she could no longer ignore the sight of herself riding alone down the path she had once traveled with Kyle, the loneliness she had denied all day surged over her at once.
Leila stopped her bicycle by the roadside for a moment.
How foolish she had been.
Countless memories rising from the road merged into one, forming deep regret.
How could we, not bound by blood, have lived like siblings forever? How could we, who had to grow into a man and a woman, have remained best friends for life? Perhaps this parting was destined from the start. But then why did we love with such hearts, wound each other, and end up like this...?
As her vision blurred, Leila clenched her teeth and bit her lip. Closing her eyes, she soothed herself as if reciting a spell. I'll live well. I will, so you live well too.
Fortunately, Leila held back her tears and remounted her bicycle. A black car speeding from afar passed her by.
Matthias stopped his car at the entrance to Platanus Road. After instructing his attendants to return ahead, he was left alone on the road as they drove away. Just like the day last summer when it had all begun.
With leisurely steps, Matthias waited for the approaching presence. Fallen leaves rustled beneath his shoes in the wind. As the faint sound of an approaching bicycle began to weave through them, his steps slowed even further.
Leila's presence, drawing steadily closer, stopped at a certain distance from Matthias. At that, Matthias turned as well. The scene he had anticipated filled his calm eyes—the halted bicycle and Leila standing beside it.
"Good afternoon, Your Grace."
Leila, who had been glancing around awkwardly, offered an awkward greeting. Her braided and pinned-up hair had come half undone, fluttering in the wind. Whether she simply had no talent for adornment or not, Leila's hairstyles were always either excessively neat or, like today, excessively loose. That clumsy appearance wasn't entirely unpleasant.
Matthias nodded with his head held high, one hand clasped behind his back in an upright posture. Leila blinked her large eyes while gripping the bicycle handles. Though she hadn't done anything wrong, her expression was markedly uneasy and anxious.
"Well then... I'll take my leave."
After bowing once more, Leila pulled her bicycle along and scurried past Matthias with quick, short steps.
"You should act like a lady, Leila."
Matthias spoke as he watched Leila's retreating back just as she mounted her bicycle and began pedaling. Leila startled and brought the bicycle to an abrupt stop.
"You know this. That I'll only act the gentleman if you behave like a proper lady."
Matthias slowly approached Leila, who remained frozen—unable to either dismount or resume pedaling.
"And only if I remain a gentleman will your dove stay unharmed."
At this additional remark, Leila turned to look at him.
After glaring at him with furrowed brows, Leila finally dismounted. Matthias tilted his head slightly to look down at her. Her moist eyes were filled with fear, yet her twisted lips brimmed with dissatisfaction and defiance toward the situation.
Stubborn as ever, that one.
After observing Leila trembling at his teasing words, Matthias turned and began walking ahead as if nothing had happened. Leila followed behind, pulling her bicycle along.
"I don't recall ever telling you to become a maid."
Matthias muttered lowly and glanced back. Leila, who had been trailing him like a shadow with her eyes fixed on her own toes, startled and lifted her head.
"Pardon? Ah..."
Though stubborn, fortunately not so dull as to miss his meaning, Leila hardened her expression but took a few more steps toward him. Yet that final step of distance remained unclosed.
Matthias chuckled faintly and finally achieved what he wanted by taking one deliberate step back himself.
When Matthias resumed walking, Leila subtly matched his pace. Now with a bicycle between them, the two walked side by side down Platanus Road.
No particular words were exchanged between them as they walked. Only the sound of rotating bicycle wheels and rustling fallen leaves spread through the cool evening breeze.
That man walks unbearably slowly for someone with such long legs.
Leila shifted her gaze from the seemingly endless road to steal a glance at Matthias. Though naturally unhurried and leisurely in his movements, today his steps were especially slow. Perhaps it was just the uncomfortable awkwardness of the situation making it feel that way.
He stood about the same height as Kyle, yet his presence felt far more imposing. Maybe it was his straight, elegant posture or that distinctive gaze of his. Upon closer inspection, his build also seemed more solid and substantial than Kyle's.
That must be why.
Coming to her own conclusion, Leila gradually let her gaze travel upward. Pale, smooth hands. A dark gray coat. A neatly maintained tie. Lips set in an expressionless line. And then—eyes.
Meeting those ice-blue eyes staring directly at her, Leila was seized by instinctive fear. Lowering her head would have ended it, yet for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to do so.
As if entranced, she continued staring into those eyes when the Duke slowly parted his lips.