Chapter 42
Chapter 42
Translation: godsn
Leila's eyes began to tremble as she took in Kyle's dazed pupils, pallid complexion, and disheveled hair and clothing.
"Stop this. Kyle, we should now—"
"Let's go anywhere. Just the two of us—somewhere only we can be happy together. That's all we need."
Muttering like a man who couldn't hear anything, Kyle stubbornly began dragging Leila by the hand. Though she resisted with all her might, he didn't budge an inch, striding forward with determined steps.
"Mr. Remmer! Mr. Remmer! Look over there! Leila's being dragged away!"
A gardener who happened to witness the scene shouted at the top of his lungs. When Bill turned his head toward where the man was pointing, his face flushed bright red.
Abandoning his pruning shears, he frantically chased after Kyle. Startled workers quickly followed in his wake.
"Kyle Etman! Let go of her this instant!"
Bill's furious roar, his anger boiling over, thundered through the air like a storm.
Before Leila could even attempt to intervene, Bill caught up and swung his fist at Kyle's face. Even as he staggered and fell, Kyle refused to release Leila's wrist. As a result, Leila tumbled into the rose bed alongside him.
"Leila!"
Bill cried out her name in alarm as he rushed over to help her up. But the damage was already done—thick rose thorns had left deep scratches on Leila's cheek and the back of her hand.
Kyle, who had been dazed as if under some spell, slowly began to regain focus in his eyes. When his vision cleared enough to see Leila's blood-streaked face, he turned deathly pale and scrambled to his feet.
"L-Leila! Are you okay? The blood—"
"I'm fine."
Leila calmly pushed away Kyle's hand as it reached for her face.
"You're hurt much worse than I am."
"No, I'm—"
Only then did Kyle notice the blood soaking through his own shirt and the back of his hand. Though sharp pains throbbed from his cheek and neck, none of that mattered to him.
"It's okay, sir."
Leila urgently stopped Bill as he moved toward Kyle again.
"Kyle."
Kyle's face reflected in Leila's eyes, which were brimming with transparent tears.
"That place doesn't exist."
The corners of Leila's smiling lips trembled slightly. Though her eyes and even her cheeks were flushed red, her voice remained steady.
"A place where just the two of us can be happy—Kyle, such a place doesn't exist in this world."
"Leila..."
"When you act like this, it hurts me too much. I don't think I can bear it."
"Leila, please."
"So please, live well. I'll live well too."
"How can I possibly do that without you?"
"Go to university as planned, study hard, and take good care of your health. Become the wonderful doctor you're meant to be."
Even as she faced Kyle's agonized expression, Leila kept smiling. The tears streaming down her cheeks glistened brightly.
"Kyle. My kind friend, Kyle Etman. That's the you I want to see."
Before she knew it, Kyle was crying too. Gritting his teeth, he swallowed his sobs and gazed at Leila with reddened eyes.
"If you live well, I'll live well too. If we both keep living like that, maybe someday we can smile and greet each other again."
"...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Leila."
Sobs Kyle could no longer hold back spilled past his lips.
"It's all—all my fault. Because of me, you... I'm sorry."
As Kyle collapsed onto the flowerbed, sharp sunlight poured over him like shards of broken glass. Leila quietly shook her head and knelt before him, lowering herself to his level.
"No. Don't say that, Kyle. I don't hate you. How could I?"
"Leila."
"So promise me you'll live well. Okay? You will, right?"
Kyle, who had been gasping like a choked man, suddenly burst into hot tears and pulled Leila into a tight embrace. Her pristine white blouse began soaking up the blood from his wounds and their mingled tears.
Bill, who had been sighing repeatedly, could no longer bear to watch the two children and turned his head away. The workers standing a few paces distant did the same.
Bill glared at the scorching sun with eyes full of resentment. More fervently than ever before, he wished for this cruel summer to end quickly.
Kyle Etman left for the capital earlier than planned. While he cited the superficial reason of needing time to prepare for university entrance, no one truly believed that was the case.
On the morning of Kyle's departure, Leila woke earlier than usual.
Coo-coo-coo-coo.
Following the mournful sound from the windowsill, she turned her head to see Phoebe.
Putting on the glasses she'd taken off, Leila slowly approached the window and threw it wide open. Tied to Phoebe's leg was a single letter. Phoebe was a pigeon trained to fly between Leila and Kyle's windows. She didn't need to look to know who the letter was from.
After hesitating for a long moment, Leila finally untied it.
Leila, I'm leaving for the capital today. To the place we were supposed to go together—I'm cowardly going alone.
I won't feed you that plausible lie about this being what's best for both of us. In the end, I'm running away. Turning my back on this ruined reality, leaving you behind. Pretending to be persuaded by your words saying it's okay—that's how cowardly I'm being.
I'm sorry. I know full well these words can't wash away your wounds, but I still wanted to say them. I'm sorry for the wounds my mother gave you, and for my own failure to stop it. I'm sorry for foolishly pushing forward, thinking everything would work out easily, only to hurt you. I think I finally understand that now.
But Leila, I will come back. Before it's too late, I will definitely return to you.
You might be right that there's no place in this world where we can both be happy. But Leila, if such a place doesn't exist, then I'll create one without fail. And I'll take you there.
As you asked, I'll live well until that day comes. So you must live well too.
Goodbye, my beloved Leila.
Leila slowly read through the letter filled with Kyle's neat handwriting. Her messy golden hair fluttered in the morning breeze, covering her cheeks.
Only after a long while did Leila turn from the window. She tucked the letter deep into her desk drawer and hurried to begin her morning.
The day passed in a hectic blur. She cleaned every corner of the house with meticulous care, as if not tolerating a single speck of dust, and cooked an abundance of delicious food. After Bill finished lunch and returned to work, servants from nearby Arvis came to visit her cabin.
"Are you alright, Leila?"
Mrs. Mona asked worriedly, holding out a basket filled with sweet cookies and cakes.
"Yes."
Leila smiled as she accepted the gift.
"Thank you. Come in for some tea."
"Oh no, don't trouble yourself with tea."
As Mrs. Mona waved her hand dismissively, the maids from Arvis who had followed her nodded in agreement.
"That's right. We just wanted to see that you're okay."
"Exactly. First loves never work out anyway. There'll definitely be someone much better than Kyle..."
"My goodness, look how late it's getting! We should hurry back. We need to prepare for Madam's teatime."
Mrs. Mona sharply cut off the maids as they began rambling unnecessary comments, shooting them a warning look.
After seeing them off, Leila returned to the kitchen carrying the heavy basket. Her hands, which had been methodically unpacking the cookies and cakes one by one, suddenly froze mid-motion. There was a cookie baked with peach jam—Kyle's favorite.
Leila stared blankly at the seat across the table, the spot where Kyle always used to sit. The days when the three of them would gather around this table would never come again. Countless memories of delicious food, warm light, and lively chatter rose and settled like dust over the empty chair.
Blinking slowly, Leila hurriedly finished organizing the basket and stepped out of the cabin. She grabbed the worn tool bag and hat hanging by the back door and headed down the path leading into the woods.
Fennel. Mistflower. Butterfly bush.
She whispered the names of the flowers blooming along the roadside as she walked.
Goldfinch. Swallowtail. Meadow katydid.
The names of birds and insects followed. The clinking of odds and ends in her bag flowed between her murmured words like a quiet song.
Step after step, Leila walked diligently forward until she came to a stop before a towering tree by the Schulter River. She climbed it as naturally as breathing.
Perched between the sturdy branches and trunk, Leila gazed absently at the blue waters of the Schulter River flowing leisurely below.
The dazzling scales of light on the water stung her eyes.
"It has been handled as you instructed," Hessen reported after ending a brief call.
Matthias nodded slowly, understanding without further explanation. His gaze remained fixed on the river beyond the large window.
"A telegram should reach him by today as well."
Having concluded his report with that final remark, Hessen smoothly transitioned to the next topic—the banquet to be held next week, the invited guests, the visit of Count Brandt and his wife, the issue of additional servants. The routine updates and Matthias's curt responses repeated in turn.
"Then I shall take my leave."
With his duties fulfilled, Hessen departed the annex.
Left alone, Matthias slowly descended the stairs leading to the lower floor. The annex was built as if floating above the river, its structure connecting directly to the water from the boathouse on the first floor. The boats moored there, always adrift, could set off toward the opposite bank at any moment with just the loosening of ropes and a few strokes of the oars.
Matthias stripped off his clothes and dove straight into the river. As he passed through the arched entrance of the boathouse, blinding sunlight spilled over his bare skin.
He swam slowly with the current, his movements fluid and effortless, making him seem almost like an extension of the river itself.
Regret for what one cannot have is always larger and more tenacious. Even though, once obtained, it would prove hollow, trivial, and insignificant. That woman would be no different.
Drawing in a deep breath, Matthias willingly conceded. It was foolish to be swept up in fleeting desires that would soon vanish, yet he readily accepted the craving to possess her all the same. And now, he could do so as he pleased. That proud young love had ultimately failed—the boy had left, and Leila remained. Everything in his world had fallen into its rightful place. A perfect order.
By the time he turned and began swimming back toward the annex, the sun had started to set. Matthias's eyes narrowed as he spotted the familiar towering tree along the riverbank. And there, absurdly, was that woman.
Leila.
The name, murmured silently, rippled across the water's surface.