Chapter 1
Chapter 1
"I died. I definitely did."
The title of South Korea’s rank 1 meant nothing in the end. That damned abyss boss monster’s final strike should have blown me to pieces without leaving even a bone behind.
"[ Myth-grade trait ‘Ashes of the Phoenix’ has been activated.]"
"[Warning! Physical damage exceeds 99%, making restoration to the original body impossible.]"
"[Initiating reconstruction with a random replacement body.]"
"Ugh..."
I opened my eyes with the faint remnants of the system message lingering.
The first thing I felt was an intensely unfamiliar sensation. Every time I breathed, something heavy pressed against my chest… and strangely, something softly raised.
And most importantly.
"...Huh?"
Something was missing. The guy who greeted me energetically every morning, pitching a tent without fail… my precious other self, my steadfast companion of 30 years, the heavy pride of a man… was gone.
Not just flat. It was smooth.
"No, no, no!! My 30-year brother!! You should at least give me time to say goodbye!"
Even during freezing military winter training, even when I nearly froze during raids, my dependable other self had always proven its resilience. The symbol of my manhood that rose proudly like the morning sun had vanished without a trace. In its place was a smooth, flat—no, slightly concave—unknown valley.
I slammed my fist against the floor and wailed. I tried grabbing my chest in frustration, but what filled my hands was unfamiliar, soft, and… heavy flesh.
"Argh! This feeling is insane! No, seriously, this is my body?!"
I shot up and stood in front of the bathroom mirror.
Flowing silver hair. Pale, translucent skin devoid of any color. A fragile-looking beautiful girl, as if she might shatter at a touch, stared back at me in shock, clutching her chest along with my movements.
Out of habit from my previous life, I struck a bodybuilder-style “most muscular” pose.
Crack.
"Aaagh!"
My delicate shoulder nearly dislocated entirely. My explosive back muscles were gone, replaced by a flimsy, paper-thin body trembling weakly. And why the hell was my skin so pointlessly soft? Did pores even exist? It was absurd how it glowed without even using lotion.
"[Would you like to check your status window?]"
With trembling hands, I touched the air. A despair-inducing message appeared.
"[Name: Kang Jinho (Female/20)]"
"[Strength: 2] [Stamina: 1] [Agility: 4]"
"[Traits: Sunfish (F), Peerless Beauty (EX)]"
"[Warning: The durability of the current body is at its worst. Using powerful skills may endanger your life.]"
"Aaaaaaah—!"
My rank 1 stats were gone, and I had turned into a ‘glass cannon’ that would die from a scratch. Barely holding onto my fading consciousness, I staggered down to the first-floor living room.
"M-Mom… it’s me…"
At my voice, my mother came out of the kitchen—then froze on the spot.
"Oh my goodness! My son has finally gone insane and kidnapped someone else’s precious daughter—gasp! Y-you… are you some girl he got pregnant and hid away?!"
"No, Mom. It’s me, Jinho!"
"Then why is your face so pretty?! You look like some chaebol family’s daughter! Is this the kind of girl our household can handle?! Oh my fate! That bastard Jinho ran away without taking responsibility!"
"I told you, I’m Jinho! I remember peeing myself as a kid and borrowing salt, and getting caught watching porn in middle school and having the computer smashed!"
As I spilled out my dark past in a clear, bell-like voice, my mother clutched the back of her neck and collapsed.
Meanwhile, my father, who had been reading the newspaper on the sofa, adjusted his glasses and looked me up and down.
"Haha, our son turned out quite pretty. Chairman Kim always bragged about his daughter being beautiful, but now I’ve won. Well, as long as you’re pretty, it’s fine. Hahaha."
"Dad, are you insane?! Your son turned into a girl and you’re happy about gaining a registry partner?!"
"With our family’s genes, there’s no way such beauty could come out. That height, that sharp nose… it’s art, pure art. If you’re really our Jinho, I should be thanking you. Son—no, daughter. While you’re at it, go marry into some rich guild master’s family. Just get your old man one S-class long-body car. Hahaha."
My family was completely insane. In this mad household, was I the only sane one?
There was only one person who could objectively deal with this situation. Kim Taeseok, my party’s main tanker of 10 years, a 2-meter-tall mountain of muscle like a younger brother.
Less than ten minutes after calling him—
Boom!
The front door exploded open.
Taeseok stepped through the cloud of dust, froze upon seeing me.
"Hyung…? Is that really you? Is this what your resurrection trait does?! Thank goodness… really… thank goodness…!"
As he approached tearfully, his gaze slowly dropped below my collarbone.
Ah. I had rushed downstairs after waking up, wearing nothing but a thin, loose white sleep shirt. It was even damp with cold sweat, clearly revealing my skin.
"Hyung… no, noona. No bra… gulp."
That lunatic openly licked his lips while staring at my chest. The sound of his swallowing echoed through the living room. Even though he knew full well I was the rank 1 hyung who raised him!
"You insane perverted animal bastard!!"
Overcome with shame and rage, I unleashed my old skill out of habit.
"Wave Fist!"
Boom!
"[ Warning! The body cannot withstand the recoil of the skill!]"
At the same time as the warning, the 2-meter tanker was blasted out like a cannonball. Not just that—he smashed through the old metal window frame and flew at least 10 meters, landing upside down in the flower bed across the apartment.
But at the same time, a horrific recoil struck my fragile body.
"Ugh…!"
What once could have blown away a mountain barely sent one person flying now. The penalty of this glass-cannon body hit hard as my insides twisted, and blood poured from my lips. My legs gave out and I collapsed.
Outside, neighbors murmured at the sound of the destroyed door. And beyond it, in the flower bed, the insane tanker gave me a thumbs-up with a blissful expression despite his bleeding nose.
"Noona… cough! Even the way you collapse while bleeding… totally… hot—no, makes me want to protect you… amazing…"
I considered finishing that lunatic off with another skill.
Ding!
Suddenly, dozens of translucent hologram windows appeared.
"[The exclusive streaming channel of the gods has been opened!]"
"[ ‘Mischievous Pervert God’ enters while eating popcorn.]"
"[ ‘Goddess Obsessed with Beauty’ watches while wiping a nosebleed.]"
"[ ‘Tentacle God of the Abyss’ peeks in with a sticky gaze.]"
[Mischievous Pervert God]: LOL I reincarnated the dead rank 1 hunter as a TS, how is it? Sunfish build is fun, right?
[Goddess Obsessed with Beauty]: The details are insane;; I designed the silver hair and frail setting so pretty! Show more!!
[Tentacle God of the Abyss]: Haa… haa… a fragile girl soaked in sweat… if I wrap my tentacles around her… slurp…
My temper snapped.
These crazy gods turned me into a toy and made a channel out of it? They’re the ones who set my stats to 1? And now even a tentacle freak joined in?!
But thinking about it, my core was still a rough, straightforward man in his 30s. Why should I act modest just because I became a woman?
"Ha, fuck it. A ranker’s got pride. What’s there to be ashamed of? In a capitalist world, money talks. Fine. Call it fan service. Here, take a good look!"
Without hesitation, I grabbed the hem of my thin shirt and lifted it up to my chest.
Like middle-aged men lounging shirtless in summer heat, it was crude and shameless. But what it revealed was a slender waist glistening with sweat, pale skin, and the barely visible curve of soft pink underboob.
[Mischievous Pervert God]: WAAAH!! You actually did it?! Are you insane LOL where’s your shame?
[Goddess Obsessed with Beauty]: H-Huh—! (gasping) This contrast is crazy!!
[Tentacle God of the Abyss]: Aaaagh!! It’s blinding!! My tentacles are drying up!!
[Anonymous Muscle God]: (bleeding from both nostrils, silently covering lower body)
"[ ‘Mischievous Pervert God’ donates 10,000 points!!]"
"[ ‘Anonymous Muscle God’ spams 50,000 points!!]"
"[ The chat is going wild!]"
I wiped the blood from my lips with the back of my hand and grinned.
"Well? Pretty damn good, right? Want more? Then donate more! Tip big and I’ll take this wet shirt off completely and wring it out for you!"
The moment I said that—
"N-Noonaaaa…!"
Kim Taeseok, who had witnessed everything from outside, sprayed blood like a fountain and fainted again.
Haah.
An unconscious mother, a father plotting to sell his daughter, a fainted tanker, and perverted gods treating me like a toy.
This was insane. Just how messed up was the rest of my life going to be?
"Haah… damn it… fuck."
Clutching my aching chest, I let out a deep sigh.
"First, I should go save that beast who’s passed out headfirst in the flower bed."