Whales, Stocks, and Park Dreams
"Don't cry. You're making my heart weak."
After dinner, I sat at the desk doing my homework, and Mom kept glancing over at me. She watched in admiration as I scribbled away without hesitation. It was just mental math with parentheses added—no big deal, but...
"No problems?"
"Of course."
"Cheeky kid."
Since I was doing math homework, Min-ji plopped down next to me with her dolls in hand. She held the bear and rabbit dolls I'd bought her and opened her mouth.
"Shh. Mom said to be quiet when Oppa’s studying~."
Min-ji knew exactly how to grab my attention.
"Who said that?"
"Mom did. She said not to bother Oppa~!"
"It's okay if you bother me~."
"Really? Then can I draw next to you?"
I pulled out colored pencils and her coloring sketchbook from the bookshelf and drawer. Then I set up a small desk at her height. Min-ji placed her dolls on her lap and focused on her drawing. I could feel Mom's warm smile from behind.
"Oppa! Draw a whale."
"A whale?"
I got down from my chair and sketched a whale on her sketchbook with the pencil in my hand. Back in the day, I might've drawn a dick instead, but little Min-ji could get traumatized. So I put real effort into it.
"...This isn't a whale."
Min-ji said it with a serious face... Come on, if I draw a tiny fish for her, she'd think it's a whale. What does she know to say it's not? Her opinions were rock-solid. Of course, my sketch had a Möbius strip on it and a Y-shaped water spout on its head, so maybe my sincerity was lacking...
I searched for a whale on my smartphone—hidden from others—and redrew it with all my heart, copying the reference perfectly.
"Whoa! It's a whale!"
Min-ji ran to Mom with the drawing I'd made. She hadn't forgotten the dolls I'd gifted her and clutched them as she went.
"Oppa drew a whale for me?"
"Yeah!"
Mom checked the drawing and looked shocked, glancing at the back of my head.
"Do-hyun."
"Don't bother me."
"...Why can't I bother you?"
"'Cause Min-ji's cute."
Mom was at a loss for words. But she seemed to accept it as a valid reason and nodded.
"...More than that, want to try an art academy?"
"Boring. Gotta finish homework first, then check the graphs."
"Graphs?"
I naturally brought up the bank account we'd made before. Then I seriously explained stocks to her—including how I'd been trading with the account she'd set up for me.
Mom fell silent as she listened.
"....."
"Look up companies, find ones that are solid and making good money—their graphs will always be trending up."
"Do-hyun... You can't just do that carelessly."
If it were as easy as I made it sound, everyone would be doing it. Despite my casual words, Mom was scared of even trying something new. Her trembling hands at the sight of stocks... It must've dredged up trauma from her memories. Like that day when she got used to success, only to taste an irreversible failure.
"It's my allowance anyway, right? I like studying English with it."
"....."
She finally seemed to consider if it was actually helping me. Mom had wanted to send me to academies before, but I'd always shown off my smarts to avoid it—pretending to learn English or math on the computer. So she knew better than anyone that I didn't need some academy.
With just 100,000 won in that old account, it wouldn't seem too pricey for my "education." Mom slowly nodded.
Judging by her reaction, I shouldn't show her my now-massive stock trading results. Taxes would reveal it eventually...
After that, I traded stocks even more boldly. Mom, seeing me "learn English" on the computer, didn't even touch it anymore. My old English scores had been decent, but now just looking at it made me queasy. I'd slacked off studying for too long...
I glanced at my smartphone, and suddenly my head throbbed. Then my mouth slowly split into a grin.
Can't I just look at the CSAT problems with this...?
I gripped the smartphone with trembling hands. It had already seemed amazing, but now it felt gigantic. And since no one else could see it, I could jot down exam summaries...
But no need. Just pull up the 2012 CSAT answer sheet.
I thrust the newborn smartphone toward the sky and basked in the moment. Perfect score on the CSAT...!
In my memories, perfect scorers started popping up one by one from 2012. I cackled like a madman.
This... Seoul National University wasn't a dream anymore.
"Heh heh heh heh. Kuh ha ha ha, kee hee hee!"
After laughing to myself for a while, my eyes met Min-ji's.
"".....""
That future-level glare from Min-ji... Right, I'd forgotten. I was used to that look from her. Like she was staring at a filthy bug... Shocked by the familiar gaze after so long, I snapped back to reality.
I turned to my school homework and propped my chin on my hand. Our elementary school hit you once for every five wrong answers. It sounded like insane school violence, but back then, teachers decided kids' rights, and their authority was absolute. Even parents assumed it was the kid's fault first if they came home hit. Sure, for middle or high schoolers, maybe, but hardly any psycho teacher vented on elementary kids. A palm smack was just a sting. But the fear of "getting hit" and teachers' dignity kept most kids from rebelling even as adults.
Mom started yoga. Her young body recovered fast, so she personally took Min-ji and me to school. Thanks to that, Yu-bin always rode with me, and Mom picked up Jun-woo on the way too.
Now Yu-bin visited every break. Last time, I had to break up a fight with my old desk mate. Yu-bin was mad mostly because her new partner after vacation was a girl. The fight started over her getting close to me. This kid's jealousy-fueled aggression was... way over the top.
"Do-hyun, tomorrow's school founding day—what're we doing?"
"Dad's coming home, so I was gonna play soccer."
"Oh..."
Yu-bin's face fell like she'd tasted despair. Missing out bummed her out that much.
"Why? Got something in mind?"
"Yeah... They're going to Seoul Park. Wanna come?"
"I'll ask Mom."
Her face bloomed like a flower.
"Okay! Call if you can't go. You have my number, right?"
"Got it. Gotta ask Jun-woo too."
"Don't have to invite Jun-woo...?"
Yu-bin made no secret she didn't want him. Tricky. I got her feelings, but Jun-woo was my irreplaceable benefactor. When my life was hopeless, he got me a job—and looked after my family more than me. I planned to repay him tenfold... Leaving him out wasn't in the cards.
"You don't ditch friends."
"Okay..."
Yu-bin couldn't hide her disappointment. I went to Jun-woo and asked about tomorrow. He had to go to cram school. I told Yu-bin.
She pouted like she was sulking but tried hard to hide her relief. Her huffiness melted away at the next break. Even memorizing my number wasn't enough—she gave me hers too before being satisfied. She'd probably drop by every break, three times, chattering about the park till content.
My prediction was spot on. Yu-bin drilled park rides into me like branding before leaving. No wonder kids tire you out. Taking care of Min-ji had made me okay with them. Me, liking kids? Thought it'd be oil and water... But forced exposure showed their pure side, and it grew on me. Still, their boundless energy drained my soul.
Tomorrow, during the weekend low, some stocks would hit bottom—I'd swap 'em. Busy with puts, but my rule: no panic-selling at peaks. Once lost 40% on day trades with a shitty computer, one slip-up. Now, with smartphone intel, even 10% gains on my investment felt like a win. Safety-first. Allowance-level, sure... But watching my money dance kept me hooked.
After school, I played with Min-ji for an hour, then hit the computer. Dinner, workout—that was routine till Mom got home from the factory.
I wrapped trades, watched bootleg anime with Min-ji on the computer, then greeted Mom.
"Mommy!"
"Hungry? Do-hyun, play with Min-ji a bit~."
"Oh yeah, Mom."
"Yeah?"
"Yu-bin's inviting us to Seoul Park tomorrow."
"Bunny!?"
Min-ji's eyes sharpened suddenly... I hadn't said "bunny." Her breathing got ragged—kinda scary. The park was famous for its zoo more than rides, so probably rabbits... Her eyes sparkling, Min-ji pleaded up at Mom desperately.
"Uh... tomorrow?"
I stood beside Min-ji and gifted Mom the same sparkling eyes.