A Meeting with Mother
A real estate call wouldn't come from a 010 number...
Beep.
"Hello?"
"Um... is this Junwoo's phone...?"
"Who is this?"
"Um... it's Mom."
"What?"
I wasn't so much shocked as I was at a complete loss for words.
"How did you get my number?"
"Your number... it hasn't changed. I don't know what to say first... Should we talk face to face?"
My heart pounded like crazy. Betrayal, some twisted sense of wrongness I couldn't name, and a longing to see her all rose up at once—and with them, anger.
"When?"
"As for the time... when would be good for you...?"
I had no idea why she was speaking so deferentially.
"...Tomorrow evening works. Where do you want to meet?"
The words barely came out. First of all, I couldn't understand why Mom would suddenly contact me after years of silence.
A long stretch of time had passed, and now out of nowhere Mom had called and we were abruptly arranging a reunion. Why she wanted to meet, why she was reaching out after vanishing completely—too many questions flooded in and froze my thoughts solid.
"Th-then Mom will come to your side first... Can you send me the address...?"
"Alright."
"...Sorry for calling out of the blue... I just... I can't stop thinking about my son right now... Let's talk tomorrow..."
Something seemed to be going on, but even so, the whole situation left a bad taste in my mouth.
Click.
"Hah... hah..."
My heart kept racing just from having spoken to Mom on the phone. It felt like the pressure of a job interview, and I sat there stunned under the weight of a thousand thoughts.
When I was little I had called her now and then. But every time, all I ever got was the machine voice asking me to leave a message.
I was furious that she was only contacting me now after abandoning me, yet the thought that she might have her reasons made my resolve weaken all over again. For the moment, I headed to the salon.
A phone call with the mother whose face I had barely been able to remember since middle school. My ordinary daily life had been completely overturned by today's call.
At the salon I had my hair done. I got a style that could be spiked up and had it cleaned up neatly. Then I went to a department store and even ordered a suit.
Is this too much...
Looking in the mirror, I felt an unbidden flutter of anticipation and it irritated me.
Forget it.
I bought the suit but just shoved it into a corner of my room and picked out a pair of cotton pants and a clean T-shirt instead.
And so the next day arrived.
Nothing had changed, yet everything had changed. Restless and anxious, I paced the house all day long. Food wouldn't go down properly, so I skipped meals while I fretted.
Why did she look for me... Did she really miss me... Then why only now? Or did she come looking because she's in trouble?
No answers came. There were far too many things I wanted to ask once I met her. And then the time came.
It was summer, so even in the evening the streets were still bright. I went into a café and ordered coffee first.
"What can I get for you?"
The part-timer greeted me with a bright smile.
"One iced americano and... um... one fruit juice, please."
"Sure, I'll put that right in for you~!"
The barista said it would be out soon and asked me to wait a moment. There was a full-length mirror at the back of the café.
In it stood a good-looking face that had inherited my once-beautiful mother's genes, my father's tall frame, and a sturdy body built from the casual exercise I did because I had nothing better to do.
"Your drinks are ready~!"
"I'll be drinking them here, by the way."
The barista started handing me the drinks in a carrier and then froze.
"Oh, I'm so sorry... I didn't even check... I'm really sorry..."
"It's fine. Just take them out of the cups for me."
"For dine-in we have to switch to regular cups... I'll remake them. Could you wait somewhere comfortable? I'll bring them over myself."
"Yeah... whatever."
It was painfully awkward. All I wanted was to grab the drinks roughly and sit down already.
While I was killing time like that, a woman was looking around the café.
She wore the kind of slightly loose pants everyone wore and a somewhat tight short-sleeved T-shirt. Wavy black hair and large breasts that couldn't be hidden no matter how she tried. She was the kind of woman anyone would stare at.
My eyes went to her before I even had a chance to think she might be Mom.
Our eyes met, but after looking at me she headed off somewhere else as if searching for someone.
I sat down and stared outside.
People getting off work walked the streets in clusters.
Ring-ring~ ding-ding
"Hello?"
"Junwoo, where are you...? I came to the café you mentioned, but..."
"The person in the light blue shirt at the far end of the café."
"Ah... aah.... I'll be right there."
She hadn't even recognized me.
"Oh my, so it was you, Junwoo..."
The woman I had seen earlier was now standing in front of me.
"I had no idea it was you, Mom."
"Me neither... You've changed so much since I last saw you."
Mom sat down and brushed her hair back.
Time had left its mark; she had aged a little, but she still looked young. You couldn't tell what kind of life she had been living.
"Have you... been well...?"
"Yeah..."
I clearly had a flood of questions, yet everything felt unbearably awkward. Still, I didn't want to leave.
"Have you been well, Mom?"
"Mom.... has been fine..."
She kept trailing off and avoiding my eyes.
"So why did you look for me?"
Fed up, I asked her point-blank.
"Well... I was thinking maybe we could get back in touch and stay connected..."
"All of a sudden?"
"Yeah... all of a sudden I kept thinking about you a lot..."
"Then why only contact me now?"
"I was too sorry to call... Only now..."
She didn't cry, but when she lowered her head and explained the reason for the call, something in my chest eased a little.
"Here are the drinks you ordered~"
The barista suddenly cut in, set the drinks down, and fled.
"..."
"You take this one, Mom. I didn't know what you'd like, so I got fruit juice."
"Yeah... thanks..."
Mom sipped her drink without another word.
"Where do you live, Mom?"
The next question that broke the silence.
"Ah... Mom lives in Wonju, Gangwon Province."
"You came all the way here from Gangwon?"
"Yeah, but it's not that far. Gangwon is close to Seoul."
"How long did it take?"
"About two... two hours? Hehe."
Even looking at Mom's face as she smiled at me, she didn't feel like Mom. The face matched my memory, but I had never known she had this kind of personality.
"Then can you get home today?"
"Today... there should be a bus, right?"
"Stay the night."
"Huh? Is that okay?"
Mom's whole atmosphere suddenly brightened.
"Yeah, there's plenty of places to sleep. Let's go to my place so we can talk more."
"Have you had dinner?"
"Yeah."
It was a lie. The thought of eating dinner with Mom made me feel like I'd get heartburn.
It was half past six in the evening, so she must have assumed I hadn't eaten. Mom's eyes drifted somewhere strange at the unexpected answer.
"You haven't eaten, have you, Mom? Is there anything you want? I'll buy it."
"Ah... no... Mom doesn't need to eat."
"Why not? It's fine. I can afford to feed myself these days."
"Yeah..."
Mom trailed off and didn't refuse any further.
On the way into the house I ordered the jokbal and chicken she said she wanted. Mom followed me into my place without much else to say.
Beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep. The front door has been opened~
"Wow~ Is this your place?"
Mom looked up at the sky from the apartment entrance and marveled.
I just smiled without answering and went in first.
Beep. Beep-beep. Beep. Dee-ro-ree~
When I opened the door to the unit, Mom kept looking around as she came inside.
"Here, sit down. Want a beer?"
"Yeah, just one."
Mom sat demurely and answered in a tone that had already grown more comfortable.
Hiss. Clack!
I opened the beers and we clinked glasses. I hoped the alcohol would loosen things between us.
Within a few minutes of drinking, Mom's face had turned a little red. When the chicken and jokbal arrived she ate them with real appetite.
"Hohoho~! On the bus ride here, the person next to me said—"
"Haha~ Really?"
Before we knew it the two of us were laughing like old friends, trading updates and silly stories.
"Haa..."
Mom suddenly sighed and brought up what she had been hiding.
"Actually... Mom is having a really hard time right now..."
"Hard time? With what?"
"Mom... her husband killed himself."
"Oh... yeah."
I had zero interest in the husband. He was the bastard who had taken Mom away.
"But that bastard took out loans.... haa..."
Still sitting, Mom swayed a little as she barely got the words out.
"So there's no money in the house?"
"There's no... money.... and the debt.... is huge..."
"Huge?"
"I might... even get kicked out of the house..."
"I see..."
Hearing that Mom was struggling didn't land with me. I had lived nearly ten years without knowing a thing about her, and now this information had come crashing in all at once.
"I called my ex-husband, but it turns out he already passed away too~"
"So... you came looking for me? Because you need money?"
"..."
Mom couldn't continue.
"Do you need money, Mom?"
"Ah.... could my son help me just once?"
"If it hadn't been for money you wouldn't have come looking for me, would you?"
"...Someday... someday I was going to find you.... meet you and apologize..."
"Wait. I'm going to get more booze. I can't listen to this sober."
I was furious. I wanted to smash everything. I hadn't expected much, but I had still thought she had come looking for me again as her son. And it was for money.
"Fuck!"
I pulled out a bottle of soju and gripped the refrigerator door, thinking for a few more seconds.
Why come looking all of a sudden...
Crack. Clack!
I cracked the soju and poured it straight from the bottle.
"Son... if you drink like that..."
"Fuck! Trying to play Mom now of all times?"
"I... no..."
"Do I still look like Mom's son to you?"
"...Even so, I gave birth to—"
"Shut up! Finish what you were saying earlier! Did you come looking for me because of money or not?"
"..."
"...Answer me."
"I'm sorry, Junwoo... sob sob.... I'm really... sorry... Mom... Mom... Mom's... waaah~"
Mom suddenly burst into a storm of tears and grabbed my shoulder.
"You show up out of nowhere and throw this fit... and demand money?"
"Th-that's not it... sob... sob... that's... that's not..."
"First explain the situation."