Not as a Son

The next morning, Min-ho woke to the chime of his phone.

Notifications were pouring in without pause. Congratulations. Messages from fans. Offers from advertisers.

He opened the view count.

"Whoa..."

Overnight it had cleared a million. Thousands of comments were already stacked beneath the video.

Min-ho got out of bed and looked in the mirror.

One hundred and seventy centimeters. An appearance of 53. He definitely looked different.

The Status Window... it really is something else.

Then the phone rang.

Mom.

His heart kicked hard. He hadn't talked to her in over a month. He'd been dodging her, hiding behind the excuse that he was busy.

He picked up.

After he hung up, Min-ho sat for a long time, staring at nothing.

Mom...

Lee Mi-young had raised him alone.

His father walked out when Min-ho was three, after an affair. The divorce went through, and after that the man was simply gone. Mi-young had been twenty-five then—far too young to be left raising a child by herself. She worked in a restaurant, took cleaning jobs, and picked up night shifts at a convenience store. She didn't stop until Min-ho got into college.

Then, five years ago, a routine checkup came back with a diagnosis. Breast cancer. Surgery and treatment together came to about twenty million won, somewhere around fifteen thousand dollars. Min-ho stacked student loans on top of cash advances from his credit cards and paid for her care. The operation succeeded. She was healthy now. But the debt had gnawed at him ever since.

It's all paid off now, Mom.

He got dressed: black slacks cut close as leggings, and a white shirt. When he caught himself in the mirror, a strange feeling moved through him.

Mom...

For as long as he could remember, it had been just the two of them. A cramped studio with only one room, so they shared it. When he was little he slept curled in her arms, his face buried against her chest, and there had been nothing in that but a child's comfort.

Puberty changed it.

He started to see his mother as a woman. She was small, only a hundred and fifty-eight centimeters, but her figure was lush—full breasts, full hips—and her face was sweet, nearly always bright with a smile. The feeling terrified him. So he ran from it. From high school on he kept his distance, and once he got to college he moved out on his own. He told her the campus was too far. The real reason was that he wanted to get away from her.

Then, three years ago, she collapsed. Seeing her in that hospital room, he understood. He loved her. Not as her son. As a man.

He hid it. He decided he would hide it for the rest of his life.

I'm going to see her...

He drew a long breath.

It's fine. I'm just meeting her as her son.

At 11:50 in the morning, Min-ho stopped in front of the apartment where his mother lived.

An old complex in Guro District, the place she had found when he left for college. He took the elevator up to the seventh floor.

Unit 702. Her home.

He pressed the bell.

"You're here?"

The door opened.

Lee Mi-young stood there.

Min-ho's breath stopped.

She was small, a hundred and fifty-four centimeters, with a lush, abundant body. Fifty-four, and yet her face was so young that people usually took her for her early forties. Today she was dressed for home: a thin T-shirt and leggings. She wasn't wearing anything underneath, and every line of her showed through. Full breasts. A narrow waist. Generous hips.

"Min-ho! My boy!"

She pulled him into her arms.

He felt how soft she was. Her breasts pressed flat against his chest.

No... calm down...

His body was already starting to answer.

"Oh my, Min-ho. You've gotten taller."

She tipped her head back to look up at him.

"You weren't this tall before. Now you're so much bigger than Mom."

"Yeah... I think I grew a little."

He really was a hundred and seventy centimeters now. A full twelve centimeters taller than she was.

"And your face... you look even more handsome, don't you?"

"You think so?"

"I do. You're so much better-looking than when I saw you a month ago."

She stroked his cheek.

"My boy's a star."

"Mom..."

"Come in. The food's all ready."

Min-ho stepped inside.

It was a small studio, but it was neat.

"Sit. Mom will bring it over."

He took a seat at the table, and she carried the dishes out. Kimchi stew, bulgogi, a rolled omelet—everything he loved.

"Wow... Mom, when did you make all this?"

"Started early this morning. Of course I did, with my Min-ho coming over."

She sat down beside him.

"Eat a lot. I made plenty."

"Thanks, Mom."

They talked as they ate, drifting from one thing to another.

"Min-ho, I watched your video. Last night."

"You did?"

"Mm. I was curious."

Color rose in her cheeks.

"Our Min-ho... you were really something."

"Mom..."

"The rumors were true. That thing of yours..."

Her eyes dropped to his lap.

Even at rest, the outline showed through the leggings. The size was unmistakable.

"I never knew it was that big. When did you get like that?"

His face went hot.

"Mom, talking about that..."

"Why? Are you embarrassed? It's something to be proud of."

She laughed.

"Your father was... small. Not even half of you."

"Mom!"

"It's the truth. That's why I was never happy. But you..."

She looked straight at him.

"You're perfect."

Min-ho had no idea what he was supposed to say to that.

And then the problem arrived. Her gaze, her words, her body—all of it landed on him at once. Inside the leggings he started to swell.

No... ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠please...

He couldn't stop it.

"Oh my..."

Mi-young's eyes went wide.

The leggings drew tight and began to push forward as he came fully erect. More than thirty centimeters shoved the fabric out until he jutted almost horizontal.

She couldn't get her mouth to close.

"My God... that... it's really..."

"I'm sorry, Mom... you were looking at me like that..."

"No, it's all right. It's proof you're healthy."

She kept staring.

"But... it really is incredible. When I watched the video I thought they'd edited it. It was real."

"Mom, stop looking..."

"Sorry, sorry. Mom was just so surprised."

She turned her eyes away. Even so, she kept stealing glances.

"Min-ho."

"Yeah?"

"Mom... has something she's curious about."

She asked it carefully.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"Yeah."

"Who? What kind of person?"

"An actress. Someone I work with..."

"An actress? She must be pretty."

"Yeah... she's pretty, and she's a good person."

"Are you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠happy?"

"Yeah."

"That's a relief."

Mi-young smiled.

"If you're happy, that's enough for me. That's all of it."

Min-ho looked at her.

A small, sweet face. And sad eyes.

Mom... you were never happy. Not once, your whole life...

His father had cheated and left, and she had never remarried. She had given up a life of her own to raise him.

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Are you happy, Mom?"

She went still for a moment.

"If you're happy, Mom is happy."

"I don't mean that. What about you? Just you."

She lowered her head.

"Mom is... fine. As long as you turn out well."

Something ached in his chest.

Mom... all you ever did was give yourself up.

And then he decided.

I want to make her happy.

When the meal was finished, Min-ho sat on the living-room sofa.

Mi-young brought coffee.

"Min-ho, here."

"Thanks, Mom."

She sat down beside him. Close.

He could feel her warmth. And her scent. His mother's scent.

"Min-ho."

"Yeah?"

"There's something I want to ask you."

Her face had gone serious.

"Why did you avoid me? You've been avoiding Mom since high school."

His breath caught.

"Even after you got into college you moved out, and you didn't come home on breaks either... Did I do something wrong?"

"Mom..."

"I wondered. Why you were like that. I even thought maybe you'd come to hate me."

Tears gathered in her eyes.

"No, Mom. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why?"

He hesitated.

Do I say it... the truth...

"Mom."

"Yes?"

"Do you want to know the real reason?"

"Of course I do."

He drew a breath.

"I... you..."

The words wouldn't come.

"Me?"

"I liked you... too much..."

"Yes. Mom likes you too."

"Not like that..."

He looked her straight in the face.

"Not as your son. As a man."

Her eyes went wide.

"What did you say?"

"Since high school... I saw you as a woman. Sexually. It scared me, so I stayed away."

Silence settled between them.

"Min-ho..."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm a rotten son. But I couldn't help it. You were so..."

His voice shook.

"You were so beautiful... whenever I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠looked at your body... I couldn't stand it."

Mi-young looked at him and said nothing.

"Mom, are you angry?"

"No..."

She shook her head.

"I'm not angry. I'm surprised. And..."

She took his hand.

"The truth is, I already knew."

"What?"

"The way you looked at me. How could I not have known?"

She smiled.

"I've known since you were in high school. That your eyes had changed. But..."

She leaned in closer.

"I was strange too. It got hard to see you only as my son. Especially once you started growing up..."

"Mom..."

"I'm a woman too, Min-ho. And I've lived more than twenty years without a man. I was lonely."

She stroked his cheek.

"You kept avoiding me, so I thought you'd come to hate me. But that wasn't it."

"Mom... I'm sorry..."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Before we're parent and child, being drawn to someone attractive is a natural feeling. If I looked like a woman to you, that makes Mom happy."

She held his eyes.

"And now... after I watched your video... I've gotten even more curious."

"About what?"

"About just how incredible you are."

Her hand slid up onto his thigh.

"Mom!"

"Min-ho. Mom's a bad mother. Feeling this way about my own son... it's strange, isn't it?"

"No..."

"But I can't help it. After I watched your video, I couldn't stop thinking about it. My boy got that big... he's that good at it..."

Her hand traveled down toward his groin.

He was still hard.

"Min-ho... will you show Mom?"

"Mom... you really want that?"

"Yes. I'm curious. I want to see how incredible my son is."

He hesitated. But the erection hadn't gone down, and her hand was already on him.

"All right, Mom."

He stood and pushed the leggings down. He sprang free, more than thirty centimeters of him.

"Oh my God..."

Mi-young stopped breathing.

"It's really... this big..."

She came closer and reached out.

"Can I touch it?"

Min-ho nodded.

She wrapped both hands around him. Even both of them couldn't cover him.

"Min-ho... this is..."

"Mom..."

"Your father wasn't even half of this. But you..."

She looked up at him.

"Perfect. You're really perfect."

She began to move. Slowly. With her hands.

"Mom!"

"Min-ho. Will you give yourself to Mom? It's been more than twenty years without a man. I was lonely."

"But Mom... I'm..."

"My son? I know. But..."

She started to undress.

When the T-shirt came off, her full breasts spilled free. They had softened a little with the years, but they were still large, still firm.

"I'm a woman too. And you... you're a man now."

The leggings came off as well. All of her lush, hundred-and-fifty-four-centimeter body was bare.

"Mom... are you sure?"

"Yes. If you don't want to, we don't have to. But..."

She went to the bed and lay down.

"Mom wants you."

Whatever reason he had left went up like smoke.

A feeling he had hidden his whole life. A hunger he had held down his whole life.

Mom...

He stripped as well and went to the bed.

"Mom... are you really all right?"

"Yes. Come here, Min-ho."

He climbed over her.

From his full hundred and seventy centimeters, he looked down at the small woman beneath him.

"Min-ho... you've gotten so big. So much bigger than Mom."

"Yeah..."

"Do you remember? When you were little, sleeping in my arms?"

"I remember..."

"Now you're the one holding me."

She took hold of him and set him at her entrance.

"Come in slowly. It's been so long... it might hurt."

He pressed his hips forward, carefully.

"Hnnh..."

A moan slipped out of her. It had been twenty years.

And then there was his size.

"Wait... wait a second..."

Not even a quarter of him was inside, and she was already stretched tight around him.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Yes... keep going... slowly..."

He worked in a little at a time. A third. Then half.

"That's as far... any more and I can't..."

"Okay, Mom."

He started to move. Very slowly. Very carefully.

"Ah... Min-ho..."

Her moans filled the room.

"Mom... does it feel good?"

"Yes... so good... it's been twenty years... and it's you... doing this to me..."

Her legs wrapped around his waist.

"Min-ho... this is... my own son... with me..."

Time passed.

"Min-ho... Mom is... soon..."

She began to tremble.

"Me too... Mom..."

"Together... let's come together..."

A few seconds later, they climaxed at the same moment.

"Min-ho...!"

She cried out and clutched him to her.

A long while later, the two of them lay side by side, catching their breath.

"Min-ho..."

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Do you regret it?"

"No... not at all."

He pulled her into his arms.

"If anything... I'm happy. With you..."

"Mom too..."

She gave him a fond, narrow-eyed look.

"I'm happy too. In twenty years... this is the first time I've been this happy."

"Mom..."

"Min-ho, this is a secret. You can't tell anyone."

"I know, Mom."

"And..."

She looked straight at him.

"Come see me often. Mom gets lonely."

"I will. I'll come often."

That was how they spent the afternoon.

On the way home, Min-ho turned it over in his head.

I had sex with Mom.

There was no guilt in it. What he felt, instead, was happiness. She had looked happy too.

Is this right?

But there was no taking it back.

And he didn't want to.