Korea 3
"Heavens, to think His Excellency the President would end up like this."
"He looked a bit like a child on the outside, but for his mind to go soft as well..."
A throng of National Assembly members had come pouring in, staring down at me with peculiar expressions.
"Mmph!"
The great President who would rule the world — bound up like a mummy!
How dare these worms!
I am the President!
You lot are nothing but Assembly members!
Do you not understand the chain of command?!
Reactionaries! Reactionaries, the lot of you! Where in the world is the vanguard?!
Sadly, my condemnation never reached the incompetent Assembly members. Of course it didn't — the useless fools couldn't even use telepathy.
"Well now..."
"What do we do about the war?"
"There's no walking this back."
Talk of justifying the war, was it!
The Assembly members who had denounced China under the weight of my magnificent political power (from the game days) were now discussing countermeasures with grave faces.
They clearly had no war plan of any kind.
In other words, if they didn't release me, every last one of these fools who would have to take responsibility would lose their heads!
Hahaha! If you don't free me, China will be the one to judge you!
I'd thought being turned into a mummy meant it was all over, but surprisingly, it wasn't much of a problem at all.
Who could possibly replace me? I am the President!
But as the saying goes, even a rotten fish is still a fish — against my expectations, the wise Assembly members of Korea found a way to survive.
"Well, what choice is there? If war breaks out, we surrender."
The traitors chose to surrender and become Chinese.
Declare war → surrender.
How does anyone even arrive at that idea...?!
I was struck speechless with horror. How could anyone wearing a human face think such a thing!!!
...A human face? I took a closer look at the Assembly members' faces.
They were labeled Chinese (True)!
Damn it all! These weren't Koreans — they were honorary Chinese!
They weren't even human!
"China is a nation like a great mountain peak!"
"A small country like ours must rightfully follow!"
"From now on, our people will be free to grill as much mackerel as they please!"
"We'll get to see cute pandas every day!"
"Indeed!"
The pro-China faction of this godforsaken game — who'd been itching to sell out the country from the start — were crowing with triumphant energy.
...You absolute bastards! Sell out the country? How could you do such a thing! Have you no shame whatsoever!
Untie me, damn it! I swore I would lead you to victory!
"Mmph-mmph (Status Window)!"
[Auto Progress]
[Manual Progress]
[Mods]
Ohhh, it came up!
So there was no law saying I had to die!
If I hit Mods, something good would be in there!
There was just one minor problem.
...How was I supposed to press that? Bound hand and foot like a mummy, I couldn't do a thing.
Was Korea going to collapse like this?!
"It seems His Excellency has something he wishes to say. Let's hear him out."
One of the honorary Chinese, his face openly eager to mock me, stepped closer to remove the gag sealing my mouth.
Yes! Free me this instant!
"Hold on! He is still the President!"
An Assembly member I took for a pro-presidential faction member glared at them with bulging eyes!
This completely useless bastard!
"That's exactly why we should hear him!"
"Yes, yes!"
The swarm of traitors casually shoved aside this stringless kite of a man.
"Ahem... just a moment!"
He really was useless. But right now, that worked in my favor!
"Pwah!"
At last the stopper sealing my mouth was removed, and I seized a tiny scrap of freedom.
"Undo these bindings at once!"
I unleashed a thunderous roar! If I could show them I was perfectly fine, they'd at least untie me.
"Heh heh, please calm yourself. Doctor stop, doctor stop!"
Nothing but mockery came back. The authority of the presidency had long since evaporated.
With the pro-presidential faction's incompetence proven, this approach was hopeless. I needed another way.
...It might just work.
"Mods!"
I roared with every ounce of strength I had!
"Ugh, he's completely lost it."
"Tsk tsk. How did he end up like that..."
...
[Moe Moe Nation]
[Delete Nuclear Weapons]
[Korean Language Patch]
Oh, ohhh! Only three options, but there was something here. Anything would do — I had to activate one of them right now!
What I needed was, at a glance, the first mod!
"Moe Moe Nation!"
I bellowed it out with pure rapture in my voice! Desperately praying that the Moe Moe Nation mod would switch on.
"...That's a bit much."
"L-Let's gag him again, for the sake of his dignity."
"Agreed."
Even the Assembly members who'd been mocking me quietly concurred and moved to restrain me once more — and that was when the change began.
"Uh, uhhh..."
Every Assembly member froze in place as their faces began to warp like lumps of clay.
"G-Gyaaaaah!"
"Kueeeek!"
With grotesque screams, their entire bodies crumpled like formless organisms.
"...What?"
As I stared blankly at the spectacle, a horrifying noise reached my ears.
Crrrk.
Crrrack.
Flesh that no longer looked human buckled and twisted, spikes of tissue jutting out at jagged angles.
"Hyaaaaaaaah!!!"
Terrified out of my mind, I wailed at the top of my lungs like a newborn. What the hell kind of monsters were these?!
A short while later.
The world underwent a great upheaval!
"Mrow! Long live His Majesty!"
"Korea is the greatest nation in the world!"
"Wait, why is His Majesty restrained like this?!"
"We must free His Majesty at once!"
...I was discharged from the hospital under the devoted care of cat-eared beautiful-girl Assembly members.
The Moe Moe Nation mod had activated.
"Hah... hah... Your Majesty..."
A beautiful-girl Assembly member, breathing hard, gazed at me with desperate eyes...
If I hadn't just witnessed that grotesque transformation moments earlier, I might have pounced on her right then and there — she was that beautiful.
...This is insane. Some wrinkled old man turned into a beautiful girl and now has a crush on me?
"Long live His Majesty!"
"Please lead us!"
Crimson hair swayed, ears twitched upright, and sparkling eyes looked up at me in adoration.
Hmm. Maybe it was doable?
That thought lasted only a moment. The second the image of the old man from just earlier flashed through my mind, my enthusiasm went ice-cold.
Ah — I remembered what the Moe Moe Nation mod was. It was an anime character mod I used to run all the time. I usually just called it the Eye Mode, so I'd completely forgotten the actual name.
It was a mod that overhauled Korea, and applying it turned the country into something extraordinarily powerful. On top of that, political power as a game mechanic became completely unnecessary.
"Is there anything you need?"
"Please, just say the word!"
"As Your Majesty commands, we must attack China at once!"
...That part seemed to have applied perfectly as well. I was no longer the President — I was the Emperor!
A swarm of cat-eared beautiful girls ushered me to the Imperial Palace, formerly the Blue House.
"Ah, Your Majesty! To go out without an escort..."
A maid came rushing over to greet me.
Pure white hair tied into a single ponytail. Crimson eyes that stood in striking contrast, drawing the gaze.
...A garter belt!
White stockings!
A miniskirt!
A maid who possessed the complete sacred trinity!
What a truly magnificent mod this was!
"Head Maid! Have you neglected His Majesty's protection?!"
The former Assembly member cat-eared beauty who'd bound and mocked me sternly rebuked the Head Maid.
How bizarre.
"My deepest apologies. I have no idea where the bodyguards have gone."
Those bastards had dumped me in a mental hospital and vanished. Probably gone back to their home forests.
You treacherous gorillas! And I treated you like my own children!
The Head Maid apologized with an awkward face, then barked something harsh through the earpiece in her ear before carefully asking whether I was uncomfortable anywhere, looking down at me with a worried expression.
There were even tears welling at the corners of her eyes. A faint optical illusion made it look like something had dropped into them, but that was surely my imagination.
"...Korea is the greatest nation in the world!"
Unable to contain my emotion, I thrust a clenched fist high into the air.
The moment I confirmed my Head Maid, a blazing patriotism ignited within me. A devoted beauty with a generous bust, no less.
In truth, I had been a patriot from the very beginning. I'd been injected with a lethal dose of great Korean national pride! This was state-sanctioned narcotics!
"Waaah! Indeed!"
"Just as Your Majesty says!"
"Kyaa!"
Even at my sudden outburst, the beautiful girls flocked around me and hoisted me up. Once I made an effort to erase their previous forms from memory, they were reasonably easy on the eyes.
This — this was living!
I would conquer the world...!
Damn it! Was the me who'd installed this mod a regressor? What kind of foresight was this?!
It really was a perfect mod!
Meanwhile, downtown Seoul had descended into utter chaos.
"Mrow!"
Crash!
Aggressive beastfolk came swarming in, cheerfully smashing the Chinese embassy to pieces with bright, sunny faces.
"Well done!"
"For His Majesty!"
Police officers who'd arrived after the Chinese embassy filed a report cheered and pulled out their batons, presenting them as gifts to these "patriotic warriors."
Thwack!
"Myaa!"
A student who'd just thrashed evil with the people's staff beamed with a radiant smile. To punish wicked Chinese people in service of His Majesty's will — I am a patriot!
"Never set foot in Korea again!"
People pelting the embassy with stones cackled with laughter. It was seokjeon, Korea's traditional stone-throwing game.
This was what beautiful cultural exchange looked like!
"Urgh!"
"What kind of madness is this! Conduct yourselves like civilized people!"
One of the Chinese embassy staff, unable to endure the screaming any longer, shouted at the top of his lungs.
These people were uncivilized — they failed to understand the beautiful culture that was seokjeon.
"His Majesty doesn't like you, mrow!"
"We've always hated you!"
A throng of patriotic rioters piled on with a beating. Fortunately, there were no fatalities.
"Do you understand what it means to attack an embassy?!"
At the words of the Chinese ambassador, his face swollen and puffy, the pupils of the gathered crowd narrowed to sharp points of light.
"War!"
A wolf-eared girl cried out as if she could no longer contain her excitement, and the rest of the crowd roared after her.
"It's war, mrow!"
"His Majesty wills it!"
Surrounded by a grinning throng, the ambassador hung his head in terror.
He'd known Korea was "that kind of country" to begin with, but these people were completely insane...
"Blood!"
"Death!"
"""Waaaaaaaah!!!"""
The cheers spread far and wide.
[Political Power: Deleted.]
[Loyalty: MAX.]
[War Support: Fixed at 100%.]
I filled my belly with the meal the maid had brought and finally understood what happiness was.
It was this very moment!
I'd already set up the casus belli, but war wouldn't break out immediately — so it was fine to play around a little, right?
...After five full seconds of serious deliberation, the answer was simple.
With this mod, I could win a full-scale war against China, so it didn't matter!
From now on, it would be fine to call this place Korea 3! Gone was that trash nation — incompetent, riddled with corruption, where everyone deserted the moment war started and pulled the trigger on their own superiors' heads!
Ah — I mean the in-game Korea, Korea 2, not the real-world Korea 1.
"Is the press handling things well?"
"Yes. They are clearly conveying Your Majesty's will."
Leaving the maids whispering among themselves in the corner, I finished my gourmet meal and fell asleep.
Amazingly, a maid even sang me a lullaby!
The next day.
I rose at a leisurely pace and skimmed the internet news headlines.
Pffft!
I forcefully sprayed the tea I'd been drinking while reading the news. What on earth was going on?
The belligerence of Korea 3 was nothing short of staggering.