Chapter 79 - Conditions for Becoming a Perfect Idol Leader - Episode 79
"No, what the fuck. I didn’t do anything wrong, okay? I went over to Pyo Jae-ho and one of them was already on the verge of tears. I’m seriously innocent here. I just looked at him and suddenly he started crying."
Kyeon In-woo came up carrying two kids tucked under his arms, cursing softly enough that the microphone and camera wouldn’t catch it as he vented his grievance. How had he been holding back all this time without swearing?
Go Young-in set Dam-yul on his lap and covered the child’s ears with his hands. Kyeon In-woo was the kind of bastard whose every word could poison a child.
"You really didn’t do anything?"
"I’m telling you, I didn’t do shit. Why, you don’t trust me?"
"That’s not what I mean. Kids don’t just start crying for no reason."
"…Hey, can you just gloss over that kind of thing? You’re seriously picky. I’m telling you, I didn’t say anything."
"Then he cried just from seeing your face?"
"Honestly, does it make sense for someone to cry after seeing this face? There must’ve been another reason. Kids don’t cry when they see a handsome guy, you know."
"……."
While they were whispering back and forth, Dam-yul suddenly squeezed himself between them.
"Seonsaenim."
Go Young-in and Kyeon In-woo both fell silent at the same time, as if they had rehearsed it.
"He says he’s cryin’."
Climbing up Go Young-in’s back and perching on his shoulder, Dam-yul pointed at one of the children Kyeon In-woo was holding.
He really was on the verge of tears again. Damn it. The more the kid sniffled, the fiercer Kyeon In-woo’s expression became.
"No, fuck—seriously, every time I say something he starts crying more, look at this! He’s about to cry again!"
Kyeon In-woo’s decibels shot back up. Go Young-in knew he was only panicking, but to the children, his face was downright terrifying.
Handsome or not, Kyeon In-woo needed to understand just how badly his twisted expression was affecting preschoolers.
"Mrrrraaaahhh… waaaahhh…"
Lee Ye-seo, tucked under one of his arms, pointed a finger at Kyeon In-woo’s head and burst into even more heartbroken sobs.
Go Young-in hurriedly snatched the child from Kyeon In-woo’s side and held him in his arms, then said urgently, "Uh, In-woo. I think you need to put the costume head back on."
Put that cursed mascot head back on your head. And put the kids down too. At this point, Pyo Jae-ho, who was holding the head, should have realized what was going on and helped him with the costume or handed it over.
"Hic—it's because of you, you idiot!"
"If you hadn’t cut in line, this wouldn’t have happened."
"No it wouldn’t……! I didn’t cut in li—ah!"
"You did not."
At Pyo Jae-ho’s flat, decisive voice, Go Young-in was stunned. He’s serious. Completely serious.
What was he supposed to do with a high schooler who thought he could go toe-to-toe with preschoolers?
Maybe today’s shoot wasn’t a kids’ café part-time job after all, but a kids’ café experience. Go Young-in smiled weakly, already beyond enlightenment, and thought that to himself.
* * *
Haa… finally got that sorted out.
Then and now, calming down children was the hardest part. The fastest way to stop a kid from crying was to give them something to eat or redirect their attention somewhere else so they never had the chance to keep crying.
While Kyeon In-woo was making a complete ass of himself, Go Young-in did everything he could to steal the child’s attention. Judging from Kyeon In-woo’s talent for screwing things up, if he ever went into the military, he’d probably be incredibly popular in winter.
Go Young-in sat crumpled in a tiny play-kitchen chair and wiped his face with one hand.
My head feels weirdly sore.
He sent Kyeon In-woo, who had put the mascot head back on, to his original station, and Pyo Jae-ho—who refused to give an inch to a little kid shorter than his own lower body—was simply sent back to the counter.
─??~
[Announcement broadcast. It is time for the bumper cars. Children who want to ride the bumper cars, please gather in front of the bumper car zone.]
A low, flat voice echoed through the entire kids’ café. Right—just lend that fine voice to charity, Pyo Jae-ho. Do the announcement, and while you’re at it, wash the empty dishes from the café too.
Go Young-in laughed hollowly and got to his feet, shaking out his cramped limbs. Dam-yul, who had been hanging on his shoulders and plucking at his hair strand by strand, hopped down and took his hand. So the headache had been thanks to the budding slime YouTuber of the future.
"Hey, are you going to keep following me around? Aren’t you bored?"
"Not He-ya, Dam-yuli."
That boldness. It felt strangely familiar, though maybe that was just his imagination.
"Right, Dam-yul… are you really okay?"
"Mm."
"All right. Then shall we go together?"
"Mm."
This kid might be living his second life too.
Well. There are people like me endlessly repeating time, so what’s such a big deal about reincarnation?
He had unintentionally confirmed two of them already; now it was time to check the remaining two. Surely they couldn’t be worse than this. Thanks to those two, he was confident nothing would surprise him anymore.
Holding Dam-yul’s hand, he moved to the next area first.
"Why is Seonsaenim’s hair a different color from Dam-yuli’s?"
"Because I dyed it."
"What’s dyein’?"
"It’s when you make your hair all colorful."
"Why?"
"I did it because I wanted to look good to the people who like us."
"Why?"
"Good question. Why do you think that is, Dam-yul?"
"Dam-yuli asked first."
He was sinking deeper and deeper into a hellish field of why. His answers were growing more and more strained when Dam-yul suddenly tugged hard on his hand and pointed somewhere.
"Seonsaenim, there."
"Hm?"
Where Dam-yul pointed was the trampoline zone, packed with bouncing equipment, and a ball pit overflowing with bright plastic balls.
But Dam-yul wasn’t pointing at the ball pit at all. He was pointing at someone familiar standing in front of it.
…No way, is that…
Lim Se-bin, crouched at the entrance to the ball pit, was locked in a staring contest with a child who kept hovering near the opening.
And a cameraman was silently filming the ridiculous scene.
"Heh…"
The child, holding a ball in one hand, stared blankly at Lim Se-bin, then threw it outside the ball pit onto the floor.
Roll, roll, roll.
The little rubber ball rolled right up beside the floor where Lim Se-bin was crouching.
Lim Se-bin narrowed his eyes, picked it up, and shoved it back into the ball pit.
Whoosh— the child threw another ball to the floor.
Thump. Lim Se-bin put it back in again.
Whoosh— the child threw another ball.
Thump. Lim Se-bin put it back in again.
Whoosh— the child threw another ball.
Thump. Lim Se-bin glared at the floor where the ball had landed, then gripped the ball tightly and stuffed it back in. The rubber ball looked slightly squashed.
Whiissh— thump. This time, before the ball the child threw even hit the floor, Lim Se-bin snatched it out of the air and hurled it back into the pit.
The child’s eyes sparkled. Anyone would think Lim Se-bin was playing along. There was another man here who didn’t know his age.
"…Se-bin hyung, what are you doing there?"
Lim Se-bin ignored the call cleanly, not even turning around. He kept his eyes narrowed sharply on the child, watching to see whether he’d throw another ball.
He couldn’t exactly say anything openly on camera. Damn it. Go Young-in crouched beside Lim Se-bin and covered the pin mic with his hand first. Even so, he lowered his voice as much as possible.
"Hyung."
"Just go away."
"I was curious what you were doing. Doesn’t your leg hurt? Why are you out here……."
"It’s dirty."
That bastard Lim Se-bin’s germaphobia had definitely flared up. He was clearly annoyed that a single ball had rolled out of the pit and was sitting there outside where it didn’t belong.
And yet he was having a silent battle of wills with a child? Go Young-in had thought something was off the moment they were assigned the ball pit, and now he was making a whole production out of one stray ball.
"Kyah!"
The child, convinced Lim Se-bin was playing with him, laughed gleefully and kept throwing balls outside. Lim Se-bin, for his part, said nothing, just kept tossing the balls back into the pit.
The more delighted the child looked, eyes shining bright, the more ferociously Lim Se-bin’s eyes burned. Crazy bastard.
Go Young-in quietly stood up and approached the cameraman.
"Director… how many minutes has Se-bin hyung been doing that?"
"Fifteen……."
"Ah……."
"What were you two talking about?"
"Huh?"
"You were whispering."
"…Se-bin hyung says this is his idea of fun."
Go Young-in let out a long sigh. Damn it, what was with these guys? It was always the ones determined to win against the children. Were these bastards all children mentally too?
At least say something. He was worried they’d lose all their screen time doing this.
"Don’t worry, Young-in. It’s being captured in a funny way on camera."
"Is that so……."
Please edit it well. Please. Go Young-in was beginning to fear how Zero One would come across on broadcast.
* * *
The kids’ café had a cafeteria set up so parents could rest while the children played in the playroom. The moment Go Young-in arrived, he checked first to make sure Pyo Jae-ho was actually at the counter.
Sure enough, Pyo Jae-ho was taking orders in front of the register.
He hadn’t noticed while they were moving around the play area, but once he came closer to the café entrance, it was obvious the number of customers had increased.
Beyond the automatic doors right next to the counter, a crowd had gathered to watch the filming. So they’d been told it was an entertainment shoot.
A customer-looking person skimmed the menu board casually.
"Can’t you just take a photo with me instead of ordering? I’m a huge fan, seriously."
"I’m working. Come back after we’re done."
"Come on, don’t be like that. I’m telling you, I’m a fan."
"No exceptions."
It seemed he’d thought they were a customer, then heard it was a filming set and come over. Even though they were filming, there were times when it wasn’t entirely clear whether someone was a customer or not, so situations like this did happen now and then.
Since fans often made for amusing footage, it wasn’t like they needed to stop them unless they were causing a problem.
Pyo Jae-ho answered in a businesslike tone without even taking his eyes off the register.
"Are you ordering or not?"
Shouldn’t someone stop him? By the book, his response wasn’t wrong, but Go Young-in could already picture what kind of reaction it might provoke.
Yeah. If he’s like that with kids, what would he do with anyone else?
Go Young-in stepped toward the counter, hoping to soften the atmosphere a little.
"That bastard is acting all high and mighty for something that expensive. What an asshole."
The customer-looking person muttered under his breath and swore. He’d barely approached before getting cursed at, so what was one supposed to say in a situation like this? Go Young-in did curse Pyo Jae-ho himself, but hearing it right to a member’s face still felt strange.
The person being insulted himself remained utterly calm, while Dam-yul, who had been glued to his side this whole time, was either not hearing it or pretending not to as he fiddled with his hands.
The customer finally noticed Go Young-in approaching and hesitated.
"……."
"Should I take the photo for you instead?"
"…No, it’s fine. I’m here for Jae-ho."
Then he gave Go Young-in a quick glance and walked off. With the sound of the automatic door opening, the customer went straight out of the store.
Was he really even a fan? That left a bad taste in his mouth.
Meanwhile, Pyo Jae-ho had already moved on to taking the next customer’s order. He didn’t seem to care about what had just happened at all. Still, he was diligent when it came to work. If he kept his mouth shut, he was actually pretty normal.
"Jae-ho, uh—"
Before he could even open his mouth to say something now that the status window had popped up, Pyo Jae-ho beat him to it.
"I’m working. Later."
Fine, got it. Asshole. As expected of Pyo Jae-ho. He was sharp with everyone.
But where did Cheon Sa-yoon go, anyway? Isn’t the café and counter supposed to be his responsibility?
Just as Go Young-in was scanning the café interior in confusion, his gaze stopped on one spot.
"Oh? It’s appa."
Dam-yul, who had grown tired of holding hands and was now hanging off his arm, diligently kneading his forearm, raised his voice.