The First to Notice

"What?"

"I wasn't asking you, hyung."

While Go Young-in was still weighing his answer, Kyeon In-woo snatched the words first and drove more force into his foot. Pyo Jae-ho, unbothered, kept going as if nothing had happened.

"Was what that guy said earlier true?"

"Yeah. For now."

It sounded like he was asking about what Jeong Hae had said.

He didn't know what the question was really meant to get at, but he nodded anyway. It seemed like that's what Pyo Jae-ho ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wanted. And honestly, Go Young-in wasn't even sure whether the truth of it mattered all that much right now.

Judging from Kyeon In-woo's reaction, and from the classmate he'd run into at the café last time—the one whose name he couldn't quite recall—it probably was true. But even while Kyeon kept shoving at his back and telling him to move, Pyo Jae-ho looked perfectly absorbed in his own thoughts. Kyeon muttered something about him being a stubborn bastard.

Then one end of Pyo Jae-ho's eyebrow lifted a fraction.

"Is it really serious enough to affect our music activities?"

"Pyo Jae-ho, don't push it."

The moment Pyo Jae-ho spoke, the status window flashed up in a hurry, and almost at the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠same time Kyeon In-woo, who had been acting like a complete idiot up until then, went stone-faced.

That left Go Young-in with no opening to step in.

No, I didn't even get angry. Is this a preventative shot?

Pyo Jae-ho's expression was too calm to call it picking a fight, which made it hard to tell what he actually wanted. If anything, since today's broadcast wasn't the last one, maybe he was talking about the stage they still had to do during the next shoot.

Usually, when an answer was hard to pin down, the status window would help a little. Today, though, it was useless. It kept insisting that he understand, but understand what, exactly?

In the end, he had no choice but to pick the familiar, safe answer again.

"It's been a long time, so it won't interfere with our activities."

Pyo Jae-ho frowned ever so slightly the instant he heard that. Apparently, it wasn't the answer he had wanted.

He quickly smoothed his expression and got to his feet.

"All right, then."

Whatever he needed to know, he had heard it. There was no reason for him to stay any longer, so Pyo Jae-ho went back into the room.

Go Young-in had no excuse to stop him and could only watch him go, dazed, when something brushed against his leg.

He flinched and looked down. Kyeon In-woo had kicked at his calf, picking a fight again for no reason.

"You holding a damn ritual with that ointment? You trying to show it off to the whole neighborhood or what?"

Kyeon In-woo looked thoroughly displeased.

"Were all of you blind? Fuck, how did nobody spot that and get it treated?"

"It's a shirt that covers my neck. If I leave it alone, it'll stay hidden. And I didn't say anything either. If it got found out, then—"

"Shut up and put the damn medicine on it."

"……."

"Every time you open your mouth, you say something that makes people want to claw their own guts out."

Go Young-in took the ointment and rubbed it over the wound as he muttered to himself.

If it had been in a place that was easy to find, he wouldn't have done it in the first place. Hiding things so they wouldn't be seen—hadn't he done that enough times already? It wasn't even difficult anymore.

Se-bin, Pyo Jae-ho, Kyeon In-woo... everyone is just doing whatever they want. Wait.

All at once, he realized one person was missing.

Where did Cheon Sa-yoon go? If he had been in the room, Kyeon wouldn't have gotten kicked out and left this quietly.

"Where's Sa-yoon?"

"Ah, fuck. Don't even say that bastard's name in front of me. I'm barely keeping my temper as it is."

Kyeon In-woo, leaning back on the sofa, crossed his arms and spat the words through his teeth.

"That son of a bitch. He went and made a mess of this with someone else's business, didn't he?"

He seemed to think Cheon Sa-yoon had done something.

Either way, it looked like Sa-yoon still hadn't come back to the dorm.

Maybe he was still at the company. If Cheon Sa-yoon had been near Jeong Hae and someone had seen the two of them talking, then he was probably being questioned about how the rumor started in the first place.

"He probably pulled some other dogshit stunt for some stupid reason. That bastard has always been like that, even back then... Forget it. I'm wasting my breath."

So that was how Cheon Sa-yoon had always been.

Kyeon In-woo kept ripping into him, as if one curse word wasn't enough to get it out of his system. He finally stopped, though only because he'd run out of steam. The way he really, truly looked disgusted somehow made Go Young-in feel like he was getting cursed at too. Maybe because this was an issue connected to him as well.

He shouldn't have brought it up. He should have just said something else. Should he change the subject now?

"I told Se-bin-hyung earlier too, so don't worry too much. I'll make sure it doesn't hurt the group."

The man who had been cursing cheerfully to himself frowned.

"You should be worrying about yourself, not everyone else. Is this really the time for you to worry about other people?"

"I,

"You're fine? Yeah, I bet. So what? I'm the one who's not fine, asshole."

"I'm sorry. It's not even something I should be apologizing for, but—"

"Still—"

"Ah, for fuck's sake!"

Seeing Go Young-in flounder helplessly, Kyeon In-woo let out another string of rough profanity. The sudden shout made Go Young-in shrink back in surprise. Kyeon, seeing that, abruptly dragged both hands through his own hair.

"No. Hah, fuck..."

Apparently, it wasn't either of those things.

And yet he was still getting angry. Then what was he supposed to say? What did people usually say in moments like this? Would it really be so hard to just tell him exactly what kind of answer he wanted?

Not this kind of thing.

The status window and the members all seemed to want a lot from him, but never bothered to tell him directly what it was, so he couldn't get a grip on any of it.

Kyeon In-woo pressed a hand to his forehead and let out a laugh that sounded almost like a sigh.

"I mean, the ones who should be apologizing are those bastards."

His tone was still rough, but he no longer raised his voice.

"Not you. Right? Isn't that obvious?"

Normally, Kyeon would have stayed angry and kept cursing the whole time, so his abrupt willingness to let this go made Go Young-in more flustered than anything. The fact that he was asking for confirmation ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠made it sound like he wanted an answer.

Kyeon In-woo would probably like it more if I agreed with him.

"That's right."

"That's right?"

"Why...?"

Kyeon In-woo shut his mouth with a snap. The twitch in his brow made him look thoroughly dissatisfied.

Had he gotten it wrong again? Regret surged up at once, and he wished he'd just kept his mouth shut.

"Hey, Go Young-in."

Kyeon In-woo lifted his eyes and looked up at him.

Go Young-in, who had been fidgeting with his hands for no reason, let them drop.

Until just a moment ago, Kyeon's voice had been annoyed enough to cut with, but now it had gone low and quiet.

"Yeah?"

He answered at once and looked down at Kyeon with uncertainty.

What now? He quickly replayed the conversation in his head.

What was the problem? I didn't do anything different.

"Haa... dragging around a guy who clearly needs to lie down was my mistake."

Kyeon In-woo stood up as if he'd finally figured it out.

Before Go Young-in could react, Kyeon caught him by the shoulder. He spun him around without warning and shoved him down onto the sofa he had just been sitting on.

At first, Go Young-in had no idea what was going on. But once he was seated, the tension locked in his shoulders began to loosen, and he felt it immediately.

Huh.

Kyeon In-woo looked down at him with a strange expression.

"Why have you been acting weird from the start? You've been looking around like some dog that's desperate to piss. It's fucking weird."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Don't tell me it's because of what that Jeong Hae bastard said?"

So this was...

"It's not that..."

"What a load of shit. If it wasn't that, would you be sitting there going 'that's right' at me? You'd have just said 'I'm fine,' like some gullible idiot."

Go Young-in had never even thought he might be paying attention to what Jeong Hae had said.

Maybe because the memory itself wouldn't come properly, even when he'd heard it from Jeong Hae earlier, all he'd felt was something like, So that's how it was.

But maybe that wasn't all there had been to it.

He felt oddly confused.

Kyeon In-woo, watching his face, clicked his tongue and spat out another curse.

"Fuck, that Jeong Hae bastard. I should've kicked him in the head, not the stomach. Is that something I should be mad about? It's something you should be mad about. Jesus, I'm going to lose my mind."

And while he was at it, he cussed me out plenty too.

After that, Kyeon In-woo kept muttering and cursing to himself for a while longer.

Then, from behind them, there was a clatter as something struck the floor. Go Young-in and Kyeon In-woo both turned at once. A shaker bottle had rolled onto the kitchen floor.

"Shit, why's that over there?"

Grumbling as if it were his, Kyeon In-woo stalked into the kitchen and picked up the fallen shaker bottle.

The mood broke apart in an instant. It had become awkward to keep the conversation going any further. Kyeon seemed to feel it too, because he scratched the back of his neck.

"Anyway, don't bother worrying about that crap. What's so great about remembering old stuff, anyway? Isn't that right?"

"I guess so."

"Or maybe you... remembered something?"

"……."

If something had come back to him, maybe he wouldn't feel so suffocated right now. He shook his head. Kyeon In-woo's face turned complicated for reasons Go Young-in couldn't understand.

"Yeah. Just forget it. There's nothing good about remembering."

He wasn't wrong; there really was no upside to remembering, but what if something like this happened again? Was it really right to just leave it buried, still not knowing?

The moment that thought surfaced, Kyeon In-woo cut in sharply, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠as if warning him not to wander off into some other line of thinking.

"There's nothing to gain from figuring it out yourself. It'll only make your head more of a mess. Don't think about it for now—just rest."

...Maybe Kyeon was right. Later on, maybe, but right now he didn't have the confidence to keep digging into it any further.

"Okay."

He answered with agreement, and Kyeon In-woo let out a thin breath before giving his shoulder a pat.

"Yeah. Unwind, asshole."

Then he herded Go Young-in into the room as if he were trying to shove him out of the way.

—

Only then did Go Young-in realize he'd been tense the entire time.

He stood alone in the middle of the room, the sound of the door closing still ringing in his ears, and let out a belated breath.

Crazy.

More than anything else, it was shocking that Kyeon In-woo had noticed something was wrong with him first.

He kept calling everyone dogs, but he's not actually a dog. His instincts are getting sharper by the day.

If Kyeon could tell, had the others noticed something strange too?

And yet their behavior hadn't seemed any different from usual, so maybe he was overthinking it.

Even though it had only just happened, it already felt faint and far away, like something from the past.

He couldn't quite remember what he'd been doing then, or how he'd handled it.

All that remained was the chaos, and the impossible clarity of all those eyes, as if they had been trying to pierce straight through his skin.

Shuffling over to the desk, he sank onto the chair and touched the bruise at his neck with a dull hand.

Or should I have been more shocked? Either way, I still need to clean this up... what am I supposed to do?

He didn't know what the right thing to do was in a case like this.

What had he done to solve this in the past? Go Young-in started sorting through the things he could do right now.

Ah. My notes. I should check the memos I wrote down too.

If he didn't look over them regularly, he kept forgetting things.

Only then did Go Young-in pull out his phone.

Even after he pressed the power button, the screen didn't turn on.

Right... after something like this, I probably got a hundred other calls and messages from all over the place.

So it wouldn't have been strange at all if the phone had drained its battery under the weight of that sudden flood of contact.

While he wrestled with the dead phone, the bedroom door opened soundlessly.

At this hour, there was only one person who would come into the room he used.

Light slipped through the crack in the door and crawled across the floor.

So that bastard really was still here.

He turned toward the doorway. Cheon Sa-yoon stood there alone, a faint smile on his lips, as though he had been waiting for something.