Chapter 62 - The Conditions for Becoming a Gentle Idol Leader
For several days, posts about it poured across the internet, and people around him called as well. He couldn’t answer each one individually, but most of them were variations on the same thing: they wanted to know what had happened, or they said they were worried.
If he had to pick the most absurd message of the bunch, it was the one from Yoo In-hyeok.
This guy—I honestly have no idea what he thinks he’s doing with me. No, wait... if he’d apologized, I probably would’ve thought he’d lost his mind in a different way.
Because of that, the filming that had been underway on the day of the live was also stopped and pushed back for several days, and both he and Kyeon In-woo were dragged into the agency over and over again for a while.
"Go Young-in. You actually look better than I expected."
That meant this was the first time he’d really faced Jeong Hae properly in quite a while.
Jeong Hae seemed to have thought this incident would shock him. The look on his face said as much. Telling someone something they’d be fine with, then saying they looked better than expected after all that—wasn’t that just rubbing it in?
"I didn’t think he’d do that. You should’ve told me, at least."
Maybe it was a trait common to Triple Shot, but this guy wasn’t showing much discomfort either, even though something like this ought to make things awkward. What was with that?
Couldn’t we just keep some distance from each other...?
"It’s already over. It’s not like you did it."
"Hey, still. If I’d known and he was on my team, I’d have stopped him. That guy’s always... impossible to predict."
There was nothing to talk about except the broadcast, and yet for some reason they kept discussing whether Yoo In-hyeok had been a trash human being or not. That was a matter for Yoo In-hyeok and himself to sort out, but Jeong Hae kept stepping in to defend the man in his place.
If he wasn’t just trying to brag about how great their teamwork was, he should stop.
"And the editing thing... yeah. I can’t exactly say I had no idea about that at all."
On the surface, Jeong Hae looked at a loss under the weight of his guilt. But then why—
"So I kept filming harder the whole time, with a mindset of reflecting on it. I couldn’t really do anything else at the moment anyway."
Why was the line delivered like that? Damn it. Why did it feel like nothing ever quite translated when he talked to Triple Shot? Was the kind of reflection he knew and the kind of reflection that bastard knew completely different things? Since when had the dictionary definition of self-reflection changed like this?
[ Clause 32 | A perfect idol must be skilled at managing facial expressions. ]
"Anyway. Keep your distance from Yoo In-hyeok. You saw it this time too. What he did to you was basically violence."
Jeong Hae, who had been hesitating a moment ago, suddenly lowered his voice and continued in a grave tone.
Did Jeong Hae think he was a fool, the same way Kyeon In-woo did? Did he really think he was doing this because he didn’t understand?
"We didn’t talk as often as you think. There wasn’t much room to keep distance in the first place."
They had never been close to begin with.
"You never know. What if he tries to get back at you somehow because of this? This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to you, is it?"
It was the first time he’d heard that, but he wasn’t surprised.
It’s not like these guys haven’t been having conversations I don’t know about for days now.
He didn’t want to look clueless here, so he just played along. Hmm. Maybe he could ask Kyeon In-woo about it later and get an explanation.
"It’ll be different from then. Thanks for worrying."
He thought a perfunctory response would get him through it, but Jeong Hae didn’t seem inclined to let it drop. In fact, his expression only darkened further.
"No. If you keep going like this, there’s nothing different about it."
Ah... apparently that wasn’t the right thing to say. Still wearing that serious look, Jeong Hae reached out and took hold of Go Young-in’s shoulders.
"You still struggle even when you just remember the past, don’t you? Isn’t that why you keep ignoring all my calls?"
That was only because you, as a person, were exhausting to deal with.... Jeong Hae had completely missed the mark. How could he even tell whether remembering it was painful if he couldn’t remember it in the first place? Why was he so sure that would be the case?
Go Young-in didn’t answer right away, wondering what else there was to say, and Jeong Hae—apparently taking his silence for something else entirely—began to cycle through expressions one after another, as if he were beating a drum and playing a gong all by himself.
"Still, I get it. Since we’re in the same group, I’ll try to stop it however I can too. So you keep your distance from Yoo In-hyeok too, all right?"
He didn’t say it outright as pressure, but the fingers gripping his shoulders were steadily tightening. At this rate, if he didn’t say he understood, laser beams were going to shoot out of his eyes at any second. What, were you Superman?
"I’m asking if you understand."
"Yeah...."
Only then did Jeong Hae look relieved, a small smile touching his face. The grip on his shoulders finally eased.
Damn it. What was wrong with him?
Still confused as he watched Jeong Hae’s retreating back, he was interrupted by another voice.
"Young-in."
"Yes?"
When he turned toward the sound, he saw a familiar face.
"Haven’t you seen Sa-yoon? He’s not answering his phone."
It was Manager Kwon Je-won.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
After finishing his conversation with Go Young-in, Jeong Hae was heading toward the lounge. His footsteps echoed through the empty corridor.
He rummaged through his pockets for something, but when the item he wanted didn’t turn up, he clicked his tongue. Instead, he went into the lounge, took a cup of coffee and a canned drink from the vending machine, and held them in his hands.
Just as he was about to open the lounge door and leave, his shoulder brushed lightly against someone entering from the other side. The coffee that had been nearly full in the paper cup sloshed.
"I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going."
The careful apology made him look rather good-natured. Jeong Hae lifted his head and studied the person he’d bumped into, then gave a knowing response when he recognized the familiar face.
"Ah. Hello. You’re in the same group as Go Young-in... Sa-yoon, right?"
Cheon Sa-yoon, who had been gazing quietly at the chest of his own shirt, lifted his head and smiled with his eyes.
"Yesss. Hello?"
"Did it splash on you? Sorry. I was just distracted for a second, thinking about something...."
"Ahahaha. That happens. I guess you’re on your way back to the waiting room."
Jeong Hae rubbed the back of his neck with his palm, trying to hide his awkwardness. Cheon Sa-yoon, with his innocent face, neither confirmed nor denied it and simply steered the conversation away naturally.
"Yes. I should go back in now. Oh, do you want this? I picked it up with the coffee, but looking at it now, I think the coffee alone should be enough."
Jeong Hae held out the canned drink he’d picked up along with the coffee. It was a show of courtesy, a way of sending him off with something rather than letting him leave empty-handed. Cheon Sa-yoon accepted it with both hands, politely, without refusing, and smiled brightly.
"Thank you. I’ll take it well."
"Sure. Then I’ll head out first."
"Go on in. See you at the shoot."
Cheon Sa-yoon waved lightly at Jeong Hae’s back. As he waved, the smile on his face gradually became flatter and flatter.
The moment Jeong Hae turned away, Cheon Sa-yoon let his expression go blank and looked down at the clothes he was wearing again.
To Cheon Sa-yoon, the stain on his clothes seemed more important than Jeong Hae.
There was a faint coffee mark, subtle enough not to stand out. Maybe the size of a single drop. It was only visible if you looked closely.
"Hmm...."
Cheon Sa-yoon slowly closed and opened his eyes. After examining the stain on his shirt for a while, he shifted his gaze to the canned drink in his hand.
Blink. His eyes moved again. This time it was to the small trash bin beside the vending machine.
Without the slightest hesitation, Cheon Sa-yoon threw the can away. With a loud clang, the heavy can disappeared into the trash.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
The PD urgently called Zero One and Manager Kwon Je-won in.
It wasn’t unexpected. In this situation, it would have been more surprising if they hadn’t been called. It was obvious they’d been quiet all this time until the matter started to blow up, and only then rushed to bring them in.
While he was gathering the members, there was no contact from Cheon Sa-yoon.
Normally, even if he slipped away without saying a word, he would show up on his own when the time came. For Cheon Sa-yoon, this was unusual. Still, he turned out to be close by, so finding him was quick enough.
When he went farther into the lounge, he found Cheon Sa-yoon standing by the vending machine. That crazy bastard... from the doorway, it was a blind spot, so if he’d just walked past, he might never have known he was there at all. Even though he knew they were looking for him, what was he doing standing there without making a sound?
"...What are you doing there?"
What else is there to do in front of a vending machine besides buy a drink? Do you think I’m picking up coins or something? He expected some sharp, irritating comeback like that, but for once there was no answer at all.
"Sa-yoon, our PD is looking for you. We need to go in quickly."
With that unreadable expression and no words to go with it, it felt strangely eerie. Why was he acting so creepy? Even then, there was still no response, so he couldn’t not ask what the hell was going on.
"Is something wrong?"
"Does it look like it?"
That’s just a feeling, you know.... How would I know, and why would you know more than me?
After that answer, Cheon Sa-yoon went back to staring wordlessly at the vending machine. Because of that, Go Young-in ended up spacing out along with him. He had to get this one moving, but no way of doing it without incident came to mind.
He glanced up at the clock on the wall and saw that five minutes had already passed since he’d entered the lounge.
If we just stand here, we’re going to waste time.... Damn it, let’s try something.
The only thing in sight was the vending machine, so he took out his wallet first. Go Young-in began buying drinks in roughly the number of people who would need to gather. It felt like he’d have to use this as a pretext to get Cheon Sa-yoon out of here quickly. Since they were already late, he might as well make it a bribe and an excuse at the same time.
Even though the sound of the vending machine buttons should have been irritating, Cheon Sa-yoon still stood there like a wooden post. The fact that he could remain like that without a single change in expression was, in a way, impressive.
With a clunk, the drinks dropped into place. Go Young-in grabbed two of them at random, kept one for himself, and handed the other to Cheon Sa-yoon.
"Want one?"
Cheon Sa-yoon didn’t take it. He didn’t move at all, only rolled his eyes over and stared at the drink.
What the hell was wrong with this bastard today? Did he eat something bad?
"No appetite?"
He’d gone ahead and bought one for himself too, not wanting to pick up only Cheon Sa-yoon’s drink and leave it at that.
Seeing how quiet he was, he’d thought there must be something bothering him, so half of this was meant as a way to pacify him, and half was him hoping they could just calm down and leave already.
It seemed coaxing him with food was a failure. The fact that everyone was waiting didn’t mean a thing to Cheon Sa-yoon either.
"I was wondering when you’d start using your brain. Turns out the part that never quite finished developing is still missing."
So that was why he hadn’t just let it go. He really was twisted. Even if you stuffed a wired earbud into his pocket, it would probably be less tangled than Cheon Sa-yoon’s inner life.
Is that about me....?
"It is about you, so there’s no need to stare blankly."
Maybe he’d been obvious about his uncertainty, because Cheon Sa-yoon answered before he could even ask.
Got it, you bastard.
"Are you really going to end it like that?"
"What is there to end?"
"I see."
It seemed like he was talking about the incident from earlier. And what was he trying to do, causing more trouble after all that?
From the way he was asking, it sounded like he was seriously irritated. From the other members’ perspective, it would be annoying. They’d been dragged into this suddenly because of one member, simply because they were in the same group.
So should he apologize for causing trouble for the team? If he hadn’t done what he did, this would have gotten worse. No, actually, even if nothing had happened, something would have come up eventually.
...But then again, all of that is still just a what-if.
He found himself trapped in an unexpected dilemma and sank into thought. Cheon Sa-yoon spoke again.
"Well, I’m in a bad mood too, thanks to this, and it’s fucking annoying, but if you’re satisfied, then there’s nothing to be done. You should think a little more next time."
"Yeah, I’ll be careful. I didn’t know you were paying that much attention."
You’re right about everything. Fine, let’s just say you’re right about everything. He had no idea what exactly had put him in a bad mood, but he was the kind of person it was pointless to fight with.
His arm, still held out to offer the drink, had started to ache. Just as he was about to pull it back before it fell off, Cheon Sa-yoon said abruptly,
"Not that. I want to switch to something else."
"Uh... do you want something else to drink?"
He thought he’d naturally choose one of the drinks already stacked up there, but the one Cheon Sa-yoon pointed at was the drink in Go Young-in’s hand.
"Give me yours."
He looked back and forth between the two cans in his hands. No matter how he looked at them... they were the same product. They were identical even if you watched while doing a front roll, identical even if you looked from Jupiter. The flavor was even the same.
This is ridiculous. Now that he can’t find anything else to nitpick, he’s picking a fight over this?
He almost said they were the same drink, but he had a feeling Cheon Sa-yoon would just go off with something like, “Am I blind or are you?” so he swapped them without another word.
Damn it. If Kyeon In-woo was a seven-year-old brat, this one was a five-year-old in the middle of a thunderstorm. He absolutely would not listen.
"Here."
Drink it all by yourself.
At some point, Cheon Sa-yoon had taken the can and was smiling brilliantly, to the point of being infuriating. He looked pleased, and that only made Go Young-in’s mood worse. Damn it. Fine, just go already.