Letting Her Guard Down (2)
“…Are you mad?”
“No.”
“If there’s something you don’t like, just say it.”
“There isn’t. Nothing like that.”
It wasn’t irritation in his voice. There was no sense of him forcing the answers out, either.
If anything, he sounded calm. The simple, natural feeling of answering because he’d been asked.
But I didn’t need to hear the word “no” out loud. The way he took the disposable cup of my drink and shouldered my bag for me practically reeked of displeasure.
While I was still debating for the hundredth time whether I should just say I’d form a different group, we arrived at my place.
“Here.”
Junhyuk held out the bag and the cup. He might have thought he was acting without any emotion at all.
If you hate it, just say so.
I was so uncomfortable I could barely stand it.
In the end I almost spoke first—but then I felt Junhyuk’s gaze, completely still and fixed clearly on me, and a chill ran through me so hard I shut my mouth.
That expressionless face was several times more terrifying than actual anger.
“…What is it, Yeom Junhyuk.”
The voice that slipped out of me trembled thinly without my meaning it to.
When Junhyuk took one long step toward me, I couldn’t help it.
“Don’t come any closer.”
The words just burst out.
In that instant the countless streetlights near the house flickered and lit up one after another, and my spine went cold while my lips went dry.
Dangerous. Night was almost here…
“Do whatever you want with the group assignments. I won’t care.”
“No, that part I can actually change—”
“See you tomorrow.”
With that, Junhyuk spun on his heel and vanished without looking back once.
I couldn’t move for a long while. I just kept staring after him like I was keeping watch, until he was far enough away that I couldn’t see him anymore.
Only when the sun had fully set and the streetlight glow turned sharp and clear did I finally manage it.
“Haa…”
I let out a heavy breath and went inside.
In ordinary human relationships, if someone pulled a stunt like this you’d just swear at them to get their head on straight and be done with it. Even if one side crossed a line and blew up, things would still stay inside a solvable range.
But Yeom Junhyuk was an existence that far transcended that dimension. If he lost his temper even a little, he could not only mess me up beyond recognition—he could kill me.
Maybe that was why. The feeling I got while facing him was like being stared down by a starved, fully enraged beast that hadn’t eaten in days.
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
I hadn’t thought I’d provoked him that badly. My head was spinning.
If only I could sense the warning signs in advance…
The moment that thought crossed my mind, I suddenly realized how little information I actually had on Junhyuk.
To put it a little dramatically, this was someone who practically held the power of life and death over me—and the idea of just colliding with him until I figured him out was far too careless a stance.
If I kept bumping into him a few more times like this, I might end up wrecked beyond recovery before I ever understood anything.
So, to cut down on trial and error as much as possible, I decided to make use of this world’s information broker.
Whether she had nothing better to do or not, she picked up almost immediately.
“Serena. If you’re not busy, want to come over to my place?”
Inviting a girl over to drink alone with me was a first in my life, but—
“Hell yeah! Finally get to drink some expensive booze for once!”
The sight of this elf girl showing up in a stretched-out T-shirt and a sloppy tracksuit set made what little masculinity I still had left shrivel even further.
As free with physical affection as ever, Serena latched onto me with her usual beagle energy.
“Philin~! What’s the occasion, calling me over today?”
“Ugh!”
I gently pushed her off and threw out whatever excuse came to mind.
“Just, you know. Got bored being alone.”
“You fought with Yeom Junhyuk, huh. Eheh~ Love fights are the best.”
I scolded Serena, who was resting her chin on empty air with a soft, dreamy smile, and pulled two bottles of wine out of the wine fridge.
“Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not dating that guy!”
“Oh-ho. So you broke up?”
“Stop talking nonsense and just grill the meat.”
“You used to be the one who grilled it!”
“Want to try some rare?”
I had no idea how the original Philin did it, but if you made me grill meat, I was confident I’d make you regret throwing away perfectly good side dishes.
“That’s your punishment for all the nonsense. You’re grilling the meat.”
“You think I can’t if you tell me to?”
If she was going to do it, I was more than thankful. Serena rummaged through the drawers like she owned the place, pulled out a wine opener, uncorked a bottle, and poured herself a glass.
I’d almost been stuck sitting there like an idiot waiting because I couldn’t even open the damn thing, so this worked out perfectly.
“I like mine medium~”
Whatever happened to the person who said she didn’t want to, she was already humming. Serena poured oil with practiced ease, started grilling the meat, and even found seasoning somewhere to sprinkle on top. Her form was skilled.
I didn’t know for sure, but it was obviously going to taste incomparably better than anything I would’ve made.
“You could’ve just had a glass while you waited. Why wait for me?”
Serena plated the perfectly cooked steak, brought it over, and sat at the table.
“Wouldn’t be right while you were working so hard.”
“Ooh~ I’m a little touched.”
I held out a wine glass to the playfully smiling Serena. We clinked glasses lightly—cling—and each took a sip.
I had no idea how good the wine actually was, but personally I would’ve voted for soju. Fancy stuff just didn’t suit me in a lot of ways.
I needed to bring it up now. While I fretted over how to open the topic naturally, I somehow emptied more than half a bottle of wine on my own.
Only when I felt a light buzz starting to settle in did I carefully open my mouth.
“Hey, Serena.”
“Hm?”
“Yeom Junhyuk. His personality’s… kind of weird, don’t you think?”
“What are you saying all of a sudden now? You already knew that when you got together, didn’t you?”
True—she’d mentioned they’d fought a few times even before dating because of how violent Junhyuk got at night.
I took another sip of wine and shook my head.
“It’s not that I didn’t know. It’s more like… while I was trying to understand him, I started wondering if there was some kind of background to it. Wouldn’t it be better to know ahead of time before talking?”
Serena stared at me for a moment, then tilted her head, rinsed her mouth with wine, and dropped the words casually.
“Just ask him yourself! It’s between the two of you—why are you trying to solve it through me?”
If I’d known she was going to say that, I wouldn’t have dragged her over here and sat her down. Irritation flared hard, but I forced it down and took another mouthful of wine.
“Still. You could at least play supporter a little.”
“Philin. Look. I think hearing about someone precious through a third party is bad for building trust.”
Look at Miss Love Doctor over here. If you’re so great, how come you never even made heroine and got stuck as the speedwagon? I snarked only in my head and just quietly listened to Serena for now.
“If I were Yeom Junhyuk, and I found out you’d heard something we could’ve worked through by talking to each other from someone else… I’d be a little disappointed.”
“That’s because you don’t know Yeom Junhyuk. Conversation just doesn’t—”
“Have you even tried listening?”
It sounded like she’d tossed it out just to tease me, but—
I couldn’t answer.
“I’m asking if you’ve ever put the same question you just asked me to him.”
She drained an entire bottle like it was grape juice, then pop—uncorked the second one with a scolding tone.
She was right.
My feelings toward Junhyuk had been nothing but fear and terror, plus constant thoughts about how to seize the upper hand in this relationship.
What had happened to him. Why he was like this. What I could do for him. I had never once asked.
Of course, even just sitting down to talk was frightening—but looking back, conversation had always been possible if I wanted it.
If night was dangerous, I could just make time during the day.
“I think you’re right.”
Without realizing it, I’d been pushing Junhyuk away far too hard.
And if I wanted to keep controlling him inside the lines I’d drawn, I first had to approach him myself.
“Oh, perfect timing. He’s here. Just call him over and ask.”
Serena was sipping wine when she looked toward the window, then waved her hand big with slightly slurred pronunciation—“Yaaah!”
“What are you doing. Are you already drunk?”
“N-no. I mean, I am drunk, but… look over there.”
“Where…”
I followed the direction Serena pointed with a little snicker—and the alcohol evaporated instantly.
Because outside the window, Junhyuk was really standing there, watching the inside of the house.
He’d said he was going home, then came back and spied on me? This whole time?
Serena, completely unaware that my expression had frozen solid, kept waving cheerfully at Junhyuk like she was happy to see him.
“Perfect. You two talk it out.”
“No—wait a second.”
I was willing to try talking, but not at night.
Who knew what a guy already in a foul mood from earlier might do!
“I’m outta heeere~”
“Hey!!”
I shouted, but Serena just laughed it off with a sly “Don’t be shy~,” then walked a little unsteadily to the front door.
And somehow Junhyuk was already waiting right outside—she opened the door for him.
“Good luck~!”
Then she left.
The door slammed shut, and in the silent house only Junhyuk and I remained.
“…Hi?”
I waved awkwardly in greeting, then cursed Serena with every fiber of my being.
We’re done. You clueless bitch.