2. Common Sense Says Rent Comes at a Fixed Rate (1)

"Pick out one from there that catches your eye."

Yeomra gestured toward the pile of scrolls, telling me to choose one. With all worry about my lifespan completely forgotten, I began working through the scrolls stacked layer upon layer, comparing which would prove the most valuable.

From Guaranteed 30% Annual Returns on Financial Investments to Left-Handed Fireballer (160 km/h), I spent a good ten minutes rummaging through scrolls inscribed with talents that ranked among the very best in their fields. By the time the "abilities" on my mental shortlist had already climbed past ten...

"!!!"

The title on the scroll in my right hand seized my entire attention in a single stroke. And not only that. It was a title so shocking it wiped the candidate list out of my head, clean away.

It was none other than Common-Sense Alteration via Good Deeds.

The kind of power you only saw in comics and novels. Common-Sense Alteration, a mad ability that rewrote other people's "common sense" however I pleased. Anyone, man or woman, young or old, couldn't help but covet it... and to me it felt all the more special.

Because through Common-Sense Alteration, I might finally be able to solve the serious "problem" I carried with me.

If it's this... then even I...

Objectively speaking, I had a handsome face and a lower half so monstrous it bordered on criminal. And yet the moment I ended up alone with a woman, my confidence would inexplicably plummet in a vertical free fall, and I would stammer like a broken machine.

I was so hopeless that even at the establishment my friends dragged me to, kicking and screaming, to finally lose my virginity, I fumbled and hemmed and hawed until they handed me a refund... Even by my own assessment, I was a premium-grade idiot, the kind you don't find twice.

"Han Jjunsu, how good was it that you blew your load and walked out that fast, huh? You premature bastard, heh heh heh."

"I-I couldn't do it..."

"What? So you just came out without doing anything?"

"Yeah."

"Argh, you fucking moron, seriously! What's the point of hauling around that huge dick if you can't even use it right? Just cut it off and give it to me, yeah? Hey, tell me the truth. Are you gay? Because there's no way you just walk out otherwise."

As the memory surfaced of that friend berating me on the day I walked out of the establishment with a refund, I tightened my grip on the scroll in my right hand and made my decision.

In exchange for twenty years of my lifespan, I would take Common-Sense Alteration, and first, I would peel off this goddamn virginity sticker. Once I'd lost it, the problem of me shrinking into nothing in front of women might disappear along with it.

And so, the next moment, I stepped forward before Yeomra with the Common-Sense Alteration via Good Deeds scroll in hand.

She gave an odd little smile and swirled her hand lightly, once. In the same instant, the scroll slipped free of my fingers and unrolled with a rustle in midair. Stretched long from end to end, its inner surface was packed dense with writing.

Like the fine print on an insurance policy.

"Read the description and the warnings carefully, and if it suits you, sign right away."

"Yes, of course..."

For the next five minutes I scrutinized every brush-written character, one by one. A few blinks of my dried-out eyes, and my "close reading" was done.

Scratch, scratch.

Without a moment's hesitation, I took the pen floating in midair and filled in the signature line. There were a few restrictions, sure, but this Common-Sense Alteration ability was, without question, the most valuable compensation I could have chosen.

Immediately after, no sooner had my signature been completed than the scroll rolled itself back up and vanished, scattering a burst of white light.

By the time the glow died down, Yeomra had already stepped down from her throne, resting both hands on my shoulders as she spoke.

"Okay. That wraps up your compensation, so it's time to send you back to the land of the living. Enjoy the rest of your life, and let's meet again sometime."

"Lady Yeomra. Before that, may I ask you just one thing?"

"Hmm? Ask away."

"What was my original lifespan?"

"Your lifespan? That's supposed to be a secret... but you're cute, so I'll tell you just this once. Han Junsu, you were originally meant to arrive here in the underworld at the age of 108."

The number 108 slipped softly from Yeomra's lips. Even subtracting twenty left me with 88, and just as the word jackpot surfaced in my mind, my consciousness cut out, just as it had when the reaper mistakenly dragged me down here.

"Ughk!"

With that peculiar falling sensation, guts lurching, I bolted upright in bed. And just as my memories of the underworld began blurring fast, like a dream, something like a hologram floating dead ahead of my vision jolted me back to reality.

So I really had been to the underworld and back. And in compensation for my shaved-off lifespan, I had gained the "Common-Sense Alteration" ability.

Just as the happy news that I could live to 88 even after losing twenty years, along with the explanations of how Common-Sense Alteration worked, came swirling dizzyingly through my head, an irritated pounding on my front door rang out, followed by a voice I knew all too well and hated to hear.

BANG BANG BANG!

"Unit 302!"

Noise loud enough to make my sixteen-square-meter studio apartment thud and shudder. The moment I heard it, one person came to mind.

Ryu Ayoung. The only daughter of the landlord couple I rented from... and a woman so catastrophically rotten it was hard to believe she'd come from two of the kindest people on earth.

Just two years my senior, yet she'd barked down at me in casual speech the very first time we met. And now, minding the building in her parents' place while they cruised the high seas, she'd been spouting every manner of bullshit imaginable. The moment she came to mind, my head was already throbbing and a sigh leaked out of me.

Ah... that crazy bitch.

Even so, I gave my face a quick dry scrub and made for the front door. She would clearly keep up that pounding and yelling until she saw my face, so for my neighbors' sake as much as mine, opening the door fast was the best move.

"Yeah, coming out."

Click!

And so, still struggling to steady a mind addled by the night's events, I opened the door, and there stood Ryu Ayoung, her looks the exact opposite of her fucked-up personality: the kind of face and figure any man couldn't help but love.

Every time I see her... she really is fucking gorgeous.

There was a slightly bratty edge to her, sure. But even through my own subjective eyes, Ryu Ayoung was pretty enough that denying she was a "beauty" was impossible. A catlike face, sharply defined features, and flawless porcelain skin. Honestly, if I hadn't known her personality, I'd have fallen head over heels and let her take everything, liver and gallbladder and all.

Add to that a figure straight out of a manga or anime, a violent, impossible body with huge breasts and wide ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hips sitting atop a waist far too slender, and even me, who inexplicably turned to mush in front of women, felt a jolt run straight through my crotch.

But that lasted only a moment. The instant Ryu Ayoung's sharp voice cut in, my groin went ice cold.

"What took you so long to open up!"

"Ah, that's, I was sleep-"

"Who asked?"

Crazy bitch, she's the one who asked...

Ryu Ayoung's attitude had the words rude fucking bitch jamming themselves to the back of my throat. Had my heart matched my mind, I'd have picked a fight right then and there and pounded her into the floor. Instead, I forced a smile and smothered the impulse.

Before anything else, before the fact that she was the beloved only daughter of a good, decent landlord couple, I was a tenant, the party with no leverage whatsoever.

I have to put up with it... there's nowhere else near the office this clean, with amenities this good, and rent this cheap to boot...

Like any respectable working adult, I compromised with reality and opened my mouth behind my customer-service smile.

"So... what brings you here on a weekend morning?..."

"What do you think? I came for the rent, obviously."

"The rent? There's still about a week left before it's due, isn't there?"

"The utility bills are piling up this month, so I'm collecting a little early. It's not like I'm skimming off you, so quit interrogating me."

Irritable as always, yet somehow off, something about Ryu Ayoung's attitude felt strange. For a moment I could smell "trouble" thick on her. But only for a moment.

I pulled out my phone to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠send the money and opened my banking app. Experience had taught me that nothing good ever came of standing face to face with Ryu ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Ayoung for long.

The transfer record will exist anyway, so even if there's a problem later, the landlord will sort it out.

So, the moment I moved to transfer the money to the account I always sent the rent to, I noticed the "Good Karma" indicator, tucked away in the corner of my vision at some point. Glowing faintly, it stopped my finger in its tracks, and reminded me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that the perfect test subject for "Common-Sense Alteration" was standing right in front of me.

And right on cue, a window slid smoothly into being above Ryu Ayoung's head.

True to her usual conduct, her Good Karma sat at a measly "2." And thanks to that low number, the "Tier 1" tag, meaning no surcharge on the alteration, came into view as well. Without the slightest reservation, I cast my first Common-Sense Alteration on Ryu Ayoung.

On the landlord's good-for-nothing daughter I'd been itching to properly put in her place for ages, on her, that oddly bratty edge of hers only making it sweeter, I unleashed a thoroughly lewd alteration.

It is common sense that Han Junsu's rent is to be collected in person, at a fixed rate.

Just as the instructions I'd read in the underworld said, I fixed my eyes on the target and pictured what I wanted. No sooner had I done so than a new window appeared in the air.

Without hesitation, I shouted "Yes" in my mind. The window above Ryu Ayoung's head changed, and for an instant, her eyes went glassy.