The Family Accord and the Battle for First Date
"If the kids found out their dad was some reckless playboy dickhead swinging his cock around like an idiot, how heartbroken would they be? They'd start thinking our relationship was built the same way, right? That Daddy's a sex maniac with his brain in his dick, who forced himself on his own mom, sisters, and little sis for some twisted incest and that's how they popped out."
"Mm…."
"But ours is true love, isn't it? Right? Or were we just your fucktoys for fun? That'd make me pretty damn sad…. Ah, just thinking about it brings tears…. Sob, sniffle…. Sniffle…."
"Huh? No…. No, that's not it…. Absolutely not. Believe me. Our family's special. For real. Don't cry. It's not like that…."
"…Sniffle. Anyway, even if you are a sex-crazed dick-brain—and even if that's the truth—getting exposed and finger-pointed at versus staying hidden and earning social respect? World's apart. You get what I mean, right?"
"Yeah…."
"Then promise. You'll follow our word."
"…Sigh, fine…."
Completely outmatched by my family's women's logic, I had no choice but to strike a deal with them.
'No way the secret pact those women related to me made back then went down like this too, right? But why keep the details secret still? They said it was already broken. I heard about the punishment clause, but they never spilled the actual content….'
The terms of the pact I just signed were as follows.
From this moment forward, before fucking any new women beyond the ones I've already done, report it in advance to the women of our family.
Also, report every woman I've fucked so far.
If, upon advance report, they deem a woman too dangerous, our family women will object—and if they do, I'll drop it.
"The third clause is too much. Drop it? That'd just make me want her more, don't you get that?"
"…Sigh, is that really something you say in front of your family—your pregnant baby mamas?"
"……."
"Fine, then. I won't say drop it outright. Convince us instead. Persuade us she's not dangerous, and we'll approve."
"…Convince? Hm…. Convince, huh…."
Should I come clean about the hypnosis skill? Or the aphrodisiac & drug cum? They might understand…? They're family, so maybe. Nah…, what if they flip out asking if I've used it on us too…? It is on them, after all….
'Hold off for now. If I can't hold back, I'll casually drop a hint about those skills.'
"Oppa, but who's this Hye-jeong, Hye-yeon, and Seo-yeon? Daegu? When did you even go to Daegu?"
'Shit, fuck. Head was spinning so I listed some tower fucks by accident?!'
"Ah…, th-that's a mistake. Total mistake."
"Hmmm……."
The maknae shot me a super suspicious glare, like she was staring down a liar.
"…For real, total writing error."
"Feels like you listed actual people, though? …Oppa, be honest. We're not mad about this stuff. Who's this Kim Hye-jeong chick? Sisters with Kim Hye-yeon? Who is she? …And why's she at the top of the list?"
"Huh?"
"Huh? Wait, no way—this isn't in the order you fucked them, right? No way she's your first lay…? I'm shaking, tears coming. I wasn't first…?"
The maknae was on the verge of bawling, asking if she wasn't my first. If I didn't soothe her now, it'd be "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!" and total house chaos.
Meanwhile, Lee Ji-min—who'd been eavesdropping while pretending to clean nearby windows—was twitching nervously.
Ji-min thought she was my first, since she'd bragged to the clueless maknae about popping my cherry—and timeline-wise, she'd been before.
Of course, Ji-min had tilted her head, puzzled, since I'd been a pro from the start. Sorry, Ji-min, but nope—not you either.
But Kim Hye-jeong wasn't my actual first either…. Well, excluding paid hookups, she kinda was….
My real virginity went to some no-name bar whore at my first entertainment joint, before the tower shit hit. Think her fake call-girl name was 'Jessica'…? Hope that sis is living well.
…Eh, average looks, nothing memorable enough to track down. Face and body all fuzzy now.
"No. I said no. Mistake, mistake. For real. Swear on Mom—Hye-jeong's not my first."
"…Really? Sniffle. Then why? This Kim Hye-jeong bitch. Why's she top of the paper, huh? Pisses me off. I figured you'd list family first. Especially me at the top. So who is she? This Hye-jeong?"
"Uh, w-well…, ah, right. G-game. …Game character. …Liked her a ton, so …m-mistake, slipped in."
"What? Game character? Sigh…, unbelievable. Oppa, you're such an idiot? Jealous over some girl—no, not even a girl. A 30-year-old game waifu? Ugh, pathetic and annoying. What game? Eroge? I know all your games—no char like that."
"…H-how do you know all that?"
"……."
At this, the women's faces got weird. What? No way—they'd been snooping my PC like stalkers…?
Especially Fourth Sis and maknae's guilty looks. Avoiding my eyes. These bitches wouldn't…?
"Ahem. Ahem. Anyway, Oppa. You've been ignoring us lately—no time together. We're pissed. Date us, each one."
"Dates?"
Looking at their faces, this was the real goal all along.
"““Yeah.”””
The women of my house wanted dates with me.
Mom wanted a normal couple's trip abroad, incognito—getting compliments on how good we looked together, her personal dream.
Big Sis wanted gym or fight club dates—plus, handle some pesky weak monsters snacking on snacks at her training hall. Not serious, but annoying rumors of hiders tanking property value—no buyers.
Second Sis wanted auction houses, bond markets, business tours—mixing dates with econ/finance work.
Fourth wanted hide-and-seek, then hacking practice, spy movies, real infiltration missions, security audits on our mansion—weird combo.
Maknae listed reading, book discussions, museum art, recent research papers—pure hell. One bright spot: PC gaming together.
"““You'll do dates, right?”””
"…Fine."
Say no, and they'd flip the table, go on strike en masse. So I caved easy.
"So, who first?"
The second I said that, fierce number wars erupted among the women.
Maknae called it like the golden apple dropping among Greek goddesses—sighing dramatically.
"Rock-paper-scissors."
"No. Big Sis reads muscle twitches with her reflexes—wins too much."
Big Sis suggested RPS, but maknae noped. Reason: Sis's superior dynamic vision predicts moves.
"Draw lots?"
"No. You'd rig it, Fourth. Last vote, you hacked it—caught red-handed."
Fourth pitched lots; Second vetoed. Can't trust her not to cheat.
"Girls, age order. Respect elders."
"““Rejected.”””
"Raise daughters, what a waste…."
Mom tried age order; maknae and Fourth shot it down hardest. Big Sis neutral, Second just no.
"Richest first? Most capital sacrificed in this house."
"Not even worth hearing."
Second tried wealth order; Fourth told her to cut the crap.
"Grab senior year mock exam papers, test scores total—highest first. Mocks optional—pen subjects fine. College exams, paper evals, essays too. Exclude languages/diplomacy, PE/military, econ/business, hacking/counterintel/info. Art/music tests? I'm good."
"Maknae, we know you're book-smart—drop the nonsense. Sudden tests? And excluding your strong suits? Languages/diplo Mom can't, PE/military me, econ/business Second, hacking/counterintel/info you."
"Then youngest first. Spare the young."
"Our cute baby girl, more bullshit? Mom suggested oldest first—you shot it down."
Maknae tried scores or youngest; Big Sis and Mom told her to quit yapping.