Chapter 287
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 287
Chapter Title: Reality. The 10,000 Year Alchemist
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"…No, uh…, I was just hacking those haters badmouthing Oppa and ruining their lives, then I went off to play some games? I was queuing up some LoL."
"My haters? Why would I have haters?"
"Oppa, you still don't get how the internet ecosystem works. …Oppa, the internet is this abyss where even if angels or the Second Coming of Jesus descended from the heavens, there'd still be assholes leaving hate comments…. And conversely, even if a demon showed up, there'd be simps slurping it up. …Until reality bites them in the ass."
"Ahem, alright. Fair enough. Good job. Those bastards badmouthing me deserve to get wrecked. And? Games? LoL?"
"Yeah. Honestly, wrecking the haters took less than an hour, and the rest was all gaming…."
"What? You little bitch. Over some stupid game, you ditch your Master—me—who just woke up without even giving your morning blowjob service? Because of you, I had to wake up and handle my morning wood myself. Fuck, that pisses me off. You're done for, Fourth Sis. Time for some pussy and anal retraining. …Oh right, we'd been training your urethra too. Urethra hole gets retrained too."
"…Ack! …O-Oppa. Wait a sec. …Ahh! …W-Wait. …T-Time! Time, haaah! Ah, Oppa. Time…. Heeeut♡ Haaaang!"
"Time my ass. From now on, if there's no damn good reason I approve of and I'm awake but you're not right there servicing my cock, you're getting punished. Got it?"
"Heeeut, …G-Got it. Got it, sooo…. Hiiuut…♡"
I had soft, gentle sex with the youngest and rough, torturous sex with the fourth before sending them off, and just like that, time flew by until it was interview time.
"…Uh, um…, what do I even say in the interview?"
"Sigh, you hopeless little brother. That's why I told you to practice more than just fucking. Slurp…♡ Here, memorize this at least. It's the model answer. Slurp, lick, slurrrp…♡ Luckily, they gave us the questions in advance, so our company's PR team wrote up model responses, and we've coordinated exactly what to say with them. Slurrrp, lick…♡"
If Second Sis wasn't nagging while sucking my dick, she'd have a bit more credibility.
Something about her sucking my cock while nagging made it kinda funny-looking.
Second Sis seemed aware of it too, because when I stared right at her, she blushed, looked down, stopped nagging, and just focused on sucking my dick hard.
Second Sis, who had been nagging away while sucking my dick.
From her pussy and asshole, the thick white semen I'd shot inside was dripping down, and Mom and Eldest Sis were down below catching it in their mouths and eating it up.
Fourth and the youngest were standing to my left and right. I was idly poking Fourth's urethra with my left pinky, while with my right fingers, I toyed with the youngest's clit and pussy, savoring the feel of that soft pussy flesh.
It was the picture of a perfectly harmonious incest family.
"…Oh, really? Then it's easy. But this is just, like, rote memorization stuff. Is that how interviews usually go?"
"Pretty much. So don't get too nervous—just read what's prepared."
"Got it, Sis."
I did back-to-back interviews with the three TV reporters who came to our mansion.
Since they even brought cameras to film footage…, I figured I'd be seeing myself on TV news pretty soon.
"Looks like our boy's about to become a superstar, huh? Hohoho."
"They said it'll air on tomorrow evening's news, so be careful when you go out. People will recognize you. And… you might end up with fans and stuff, so prepare for that. Got it?"
"That big a deal? Hmm."
For some reason, my family seemed more excited than I was.
Under Second Sis's schedule management, I did interviews with three TV stations, three dailies, three weeklies, and finally one monthly mag.
All places that promised Second Sis they'd write favorably about me.
And those promises weren't empty—soon, I was seeing the grandest, most over-the-top Dragon Ball-style news about myself across national broadcasts.
–"Our nation's great alchemist, Park Seung-ho, finally unveils himself in an exclusive interview with Channel B…."
–"Alchemist Park Seung-ho sleeps only three hours a day…."
–"From a young age, he viewed the world from a unique perspective, engaging in eccentric behaviors that ordinary people struggle to understand…."
–"From that unparalleled, original viewpoint came these groundbreaking inventions…."
'Did I ever say any of that?'
They were filling in a rags-to-riches success story with words and deeds I never said or did, crafting my biography as a great man.
"Whoa, bro, seeing you on TV like that makes you look like some legendary figure."
"Uh…, yeah…."
–"Park Seung-ho grew up poor under a single mother, but his dreams were grander than anyone's…."
–"In the midst of a single mom and five siblings, burdened with infinite responsibility as the eldest son and family head to lead his impoverished household to success…."
According to the media, I was packaged as the classic self-made rags-to-riches hero raised by a single mom.
'…Single mom is true, but rags-to-riches? Not really….'
Honestly, our family lived comfortably.
At least as far back as I can remember.
Mom said things were a bit tough right after she escaped some shady secret organization, but that didn't last long—Mom and Second Sis were so talented that we got rich quick.
For reference, Second Sis was called a stock prodigy even before starting elementary school, so yeah, that tracks.
Sometimes the abilities of the women in our family feel like they've been blessed by the Goddess of Luck or something—it defies understanding.
–"Thus, Park Seung-ho spent a whopping 10,000 years inside the Tower, forging his own unique path in alchemy…."
"Whoa, isn't that just a parody of the 10,000-hour rule? Oppa, did you really do that? Spend 10,000 years in the Tower?"
As my youngest sister said, whether it was a nod to the 10,000-hour rule or not, I was now portrayed as a mad genius who spent 10,000 years honing alchemy inside the Tower.
"Nah, never happened. …10,000 hours? That make any sense? And I never said that either…."
All I remembered from the interview was mumbling that I couldn't recall the exact time spent in the Tower, just in case my lie got exposed.
I hadn't cleared the Tower yet, and my stay time was still ticking up in real-time, so I couldn't pin it down exactly.
I wasn't used to lying on camera yet, so I just vaguely said I couldn't remember, but why'd it turn into me spending 10,000 years…?
This part was just scripted as 'answer honestly' in the model response, so it was tricky.
'These trash reporters need to write fiction with some restraint—what the hell…? Even if we asked for favorable coverage, this is too much….'
–"Park Seung-ho has engaged in numerous eccentricities since childhood. For example…."
"Ah, Oppa's childhood black history!"
"What?! No way, these fuckers? They said they'd write favorably about me!"
"Nah, that's them being favorable. And I leaked all that stuff myself."
"…Second Sis?! Why?! Why leak it?"
"Yeah, I did. You're gonna be huge in Korea now, so all your past antics were gonna come out anyway… Better to get ahead of it and frame them as genius quirks. We coordinated with the stations in advance."
A bunch of my childhood black history moments from when I was little were airing.
Surprisingly, there were more incidents I caused or forgot about than I thought.
(Like flipping up girls' skirts every day in kindergarten, forming a panty raid gang with the boys in elementary school, etc…)
But as Second Sis said, my antics were neatly packaged as the kind of quirky behavior eccentric geniuses do as kids.
Like the wacky stuff artist or scientist prodigies get up to—like Einstein or Edison hatching eggs as a child.
The stations dramatized it into legend-worthy biography fodder.
Some even blatantly steered the broadcast that way.
"Whoa, Oppa. People in the live internet reactions are totally buying it."
"Really?"
I'm a practicing alchemist, and if he spent 10k years in the Tower, he's the real king, fr.
I was wondering how he even makes those items.
But that mad dedication, persistence, and genius from 10k years in the Tower? Totally legit.
Especially since it's not some gross talent or genetics bullshit—it's just pure, silent dedication to one craft for 10k years. Inspiring af.
I'm just some scrub who learned alchemy but is itching to get out of the Tower, make bank, and get famous.
Hating on Park Seung-ho from now on is hating on me. No—it's an attack on all alchemists.
Lmao fr
10k years is straight insane.
Sounds bs, but seeing the items he makes… it clicks.
Damn… how do you even survive 10k years in the Tower? Dizzy just thinking about it.
With that madness, he'd have mastered swordsmanship too.
How do you stick with boring sword arts for 10k years? Alchemy must be fun af.
Lmao exactly cuz alchemy slaps. Add this + that = boom? Holy shit so fun.
10k years sword training? He'd cleave the Earth. Agreed?
Sadly obsessed with alchemy. Sword or magic? World domination.
You dissing alchemy rn?
Yup~ 10k years sword/magic? Korea conquers the world~
'They buy that?'
They did.
People swallowed the media's flimsy bullshit hook, line, and sinker.
Now, whenever I upload something amazing to Second Sis's company site, Hunter Auction, they'd nod along with, "As expected of the 10,000-Year Alchemist…."