Chapter 36

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 36

Chapter Title: Nostalgic Karaoke from Those Days

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Midterms, day one.

After finishing the last ethics exam in third period.

I was walking home with Han So-mi's group.

"Ow ow... Seriously, Han Kyung-jun, what are you, a gorilla? Why'd you have to make someone's wrist like Lee Ho-kwon's~?"

"Sorry."

No way.

What's with middle school girls being cheat-key achievement factories?

Everything I do turns into achievements and points.

Not that I'd argue with it being pure honey.

"Han Kyung-jun, because of you, I messed up marking my ethics exam~ What are you gonna do about it~?"

"Even if I had crushed your wrist or not, your ethics exam would've bombed anyway."

"W-what did you say~?!"

"Fuck, that shit's hilarious."

"...Sorry to Eun-ha, but yeah, that sounds about right."

"A-ram, even you...! You guys are all too much~!"

I wasn't even trying to be funny.

Just said what I thought straight up, and it landed.

Even Han So-mi, poster child for shyness, was covering her mouth and giggling beside me. Definitely landed.

Though I don't get why it's funny.

And middle school girls remain cheat-key achievement factories, unchanged.

"Anyway, sorry."

I got too hyped from the national inssa mock exam rewards.

Forgot I had stamina (strength) way beyond any average middle schooler.

"If you're sorry, you buy karaoke?"

"Nah. This stuff's gotta be split evenly, N-split."

"N-split?"

"Means we all split it fair and square."

"Oh... Never heard that one... Wait, Han Kyung-jun. You said sorry~ Being stingy like that as a guy?"

Hey, hey.

You try saying that in ten years as an idol.

Sure, on the surface it's fine, but men's communities would roast you subtly.

And buffalo guys would swarm the opportunity.

"What kinda logic is 'guys have tons of money'? Anyway, in return, I'll help with math and science from now on. As compensation."

"Ugh, what the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hell~! I don't need that kinda reward~!"

As Yu Eun-ha, Han So-mi's lively friend, kept complaining.

"So, which karaoke?"

Lee A-ram, the brains of Han So-mi's group, asked everyone.

"How 'bout the one past the GX Mart overpass~? The one on the second floor."

"Yeah, that's clean."

"Those fuckers charge way too much. Broke."

"I hardly ever go to karaoke..."

Opinions split even before heading out, chaos ensued.

Meanwhile, I quietly checked the status window in front of me.

Taking them to a karaoke they'd be satisfied with was one of my quest objectives.

"I know a good karaoke spot."

I stepped up without hesitation.

"Huh? For real?"

"Yeah. Kinda rundown, but killer bonuses. Cheap too."

This wasn't posh Gangnam with good school districts.

Kids' allowances weren't huge.

Like how Sinnong Middle School had its bullies, Hajeong-dong wasn't some ritzy neighborhood.

Way better than next-door Wondang, though.

Families with real money in Goyang probably headed up to Ilsan, one of the second-phase new towns.

Wait, was Ilsan first-phase? Unjeong above was second, right?

"Whoa, fuck yeah, bonuses mean we go."

"I'm in. GX only if they up my allowance for good exams."

"Damn, Lee A-ram subtly bragging about acing hers? I totally bombed."

"Pfft. Kids who say they bombed always did fine. But Hong Ja-hee, you probably didn't."

"Fuck off, wanna die?"

"Haha... If everyone's cool... I'm yes."

Leading the never-quiet middle school girls, I said,

"Everyone agreed? Follow me then."

Shh, shh.

Navigating back alleys like a pro who'd been here a time or two.

"This looks kinda sketchy..."

"Yeah, good call. Hold up."

Before the corner, I stopped the kids.

Then silently motioned for them to peek.

"Whoa... That's our school uniform, right?"

"Look close, some Jidu Middle too."

"Those guys... smoking, huh...?"

Around the corner: our school's bullies puffing cigs.

One guy with half his head shaved bald.

Next to him, another dude with shoulder-length hair breaking every hair rule, like some rocker.

Even a yellow-dyed delinquent girl, despite dye bans and length limits back then.

-Yo, Kwak Ha-yoon. Fuck, gimme one. They wear out?

-Piss off, fuckboy.

-Bullshit. Word is you're banging some high schooler?

-Wanna die, you fuck? Fucking trash spreading that. Yun Hye-won started that rumor.

Crude as hell.

Smoke billowing.

Spitting not once, but Hydra-style, rapid-fire.

Minefield central.

"Side path to dodge 'em. This way."

I led Han So-mi's crew down another alley, bypassing the delinquents.

"How do you know spots like this?"

"What, weird?"

"...Not weird, suspicious as hell."

Obvious, right?

"Just been around."

Not by choice, of course.

Pre-regression, dragged around by Lee Ho-kwon during his bullying days.

"Whoa, fuck. Since elementary? Insane."

"Be real, Han Kyung-jun. You smoke~?"

"For real. Total player vibe."

"...Kinda suspicious. And that time with the Himalaya shirt."

"Nah, come on. A face this innocent? Where?"

True story.

Pre-regression, the constant line was "you look funny/innocent."

Fuck, just say I look like shit outright.

Always "innocent," those damn smoking bastards...

"Hahaha. Heard 'innocent-looking' so much growing up. They were all good people."

Snapped out of my rage-spiral the second I saw the status.

Switched to pure thoughts.

World peace.

Animals too cute.

Pork too delicious.

Hope weed and euthanasia legalize someday, everyone happy.

Like in that novel 1984.

Thankfully, Assa Force stopped rising.

"Anyway, follow careful. Almost there."

And we arrived at the karaoke spot.

Managed to dodge the scary big bros and sis perfectly.

"Phew."

The clerk was a grandma.

Smoking openly inside.

Girls pinched noses, grimaced, hesitant to enter.

"Cleanest room please. One no one's used today."

I strode in like a regular and told her.

Key phrase.

This place gives fat bonuses, free drinks on extensions.

But patrons are rowdy delinquents who hawk loogies everywhere.

So pick a room cleaned end-to-end, unused today.

"Room 6."

"Got it."

Paid up smooth.

Grabbed Febreze by the counter like I'd done it before.

"Febreze? Why?"

"Might have smoke smell."

"..."

Led the speechless crew to room 6.

Door opened: smoke faint, barely there.

"Eww, smoke smell..."

"Yeah, kinda."

"Fuck, thought I sat next to some PC bang uncle who got beat and games."

"Haha..."

Apparently not for the girls.

"This is basically none, right?"

"...Be honest. You smoke?"

I neither confirmed nor denied, just sprayed like mad.

Smoke?

Obviously not now.

But pre-regression, chain-smoked like a maniac.

Grad school onward?

Nothing beat nicotine for studying and research.

"Y'know, famous novelist said smokes are like the devil."

"Devil...?"

"Boosts your writing chops, but eats your soul."

"..."

They say smoking dumbs you down.

Half-true, half-false.

If true, why'd me and tons of grad students smoke?

Research ideas often sparked during smoke breaks.

Sorry.

Lie.

Grad life just sucked dick, so I smoked.

Still, we sold our souls to smokes, got our PhDs.

Landed "good" jobs, popping dozens of pills daily.

Piled up expertise, zero charm as men.

Devolved to ATMs, slaves to someone else. Side note.

Source: me.

"Whoa, got it. Like stimpacks in StarCraft, right?"

"No such thing. Smoking's bad. Rots your lungs and brain."

"Han Kyung-jun, flip-flopping~?"

Can't teach fresh middle schoolers wrong, so I pivoted quick.

Wait, bringing 'em here already a fail?

"But coming here makes us feel like delinquents, huh~?"

"Yeah. Not thrilled."

"Lee A-ram acting goody-goody all day? Nah. After, PC bang with me. StarCraft 3 hours punishment."

"...Hate that."

"Ahaha... Count me out...?"

Might be a surprisingly decent pick after all.

"No smell now, right?"

My pro Febreze aim turned it to pure fragrance.

"Whoa, bigger than expected?"

"Me first~ Me first~! So-mi, duet that one?!"

"That one...?"

"Y'know! The~ days gone by~♪ That e~ra~♬"

Girls clumped in trios, room noisy in seconds.

"Yeah, TVXQ's Balloon! Been dying to sing this~!"

"Eun-ha, I don't know this song...?"

"What?! Don't know TVXQ~?!"

"No, I know TVXQ, but..."

Karaoke vibe kicked in fast.

"Sing well. I'ma nap."

I crashed on the opposite sofa, bit away.

"What, Han Kyung-jun~ Even at karaoke."

Hidden by the table, I just waved lazily.

"So-mi, sing super loud so Han Kyung-jun can't sleep. Mic here!"

"But I don't know this song..."

"Psh~ Easy, just follow. I'll go first, okay?"

Mood heating up peak.

Thud, thud.

Door knock.

Then opened right away, no clue why knock.

I went "Huh?" then "Ah."

"Thirsty from walking? One drink each before starting."

Karaoke classic opener drinks.

Reason delinquents flocked here over others.

"Whoa, thanks grandma!!"

Grandma nodded "Sure, sure," set drinks on table.

Thunk.

Then slammed down a wet ashtray rough.

"No hocking loogies, hear?"

Room went dead silent.

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"We don't smoke~"

"Eh, tsk tsk, all say that then spit everywhere, rotten kids... No loogies, no loogies."

Grandma, battle-hardened, clucked her tongue heading out.

"No spitting, big bonuses then. Have fun."

"Yes~"

Last words cheery, door shut.

Click!

Door reopened.

"Just sing. No funny business. Got it?"

One stern line added, finally left for real.

Why say that staring at me, grandma...

"Funny business? What's that? Y'all get it?"

"Uh-uh, no clue? So-mi, you~?"

"T-that's..."

"...So-mi, better not know."

"Hey! Han Kyung-jun, you know?! Kids won't tell~!"

"I'm sleeping."

In the awkward vibe, I just sighed deep and shut eyes.

'Bout five minutes after I faceplanted to "sleep."

Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting!

"Sorry~!"

I was possessed, hammering the tambourine like mad.