Chapter 18

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 18

Chapter Title: Mom Catch (1)

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I moved over to sit next to the foul-mouthed kid.

Not to enjoy a fun game together or anything.

"No matter how pissed you get from losing at a game, you shouldn't curse. Cursing is bad."

It was to scold her.

"……."

The kid sat there sullenly, barefoot on the PC bang chair, hugging her knees.

Unlike her childish pose, as if trying to look pitiful...

"……Fuck, you sound just like a damn mom."

The words coming out of her mouth were anything but innocent.

"Ah, not your mom—I'm talking about our shitty mom."

She belatedly added an explanation, sensing it might come off like a mom diss.

The generation after mine throws mom disses around casually as a matter of course.

But my generation still wasn't that forgiving of them.

One wrong word, and it could turn into a full-blown fight.

"You're such a cheating bastard. Using exploits and shit."

Looked like the scolding had failed.

In fact, trying to lecture someone in the same grade was an error to begin with.

Plus, I'd been messing with her too much.

Honestly, a bit of cursing was whatever.

"Exploit?"

Instead, I was interested in something else.

"Stop Mine is a fucking exploit. Even Kim Yo-hwan got banned for it."

"Oh, really?"

"Of course you know, fuck. Did you think I'd fall for it? You've been looking kinda sus ever since you started using Stop Lurker……."

She knew about Stop Lurker and Stop Mine, and that they were exploits.

This kid had more StarCraft knowledge than I thought.

She even seemed to follow the pro leagues properly.

But then why was her skill level so trash?

Was this that famous "mouth gamer" thing?

"You fucker, you just thought I was a mouth gamer, didn't you?"

The kid, who'd been hugging her knees without even glancing my way, suddenly snapped her head up.

What a mind reader.

"Nah, I just thought you knew your StarCraft."

For real.

Sure, later on everyone regardless of gender would game together.

But back then, even famous pros aside, it was mostly guys playing.

I never imagined a middle school girl would be a true hardcore fan following the leagues.

"……Even if I look like this, I was top in my class at StarCraft back in elementary."

"Among the girls?"

"Fuck no. The other idiots barely even play StarCraft. Clueless bitches."

There are kids like this sometimes.

Girls who don't hang out with other girls, instead kicking it with the boys playing soccer or games.

Usually, that gets them shit-talked by the other girls.

Thinking back to my first life, there was definitely one like that in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠first year middle school.

Probably this one.

"Yeah, makes sense. Your skill started picking up midway."

I turned my gaze and sat down in the seat next to her.

Then I booted up the computer and started logging into my PC bang account.

Since I'd already moved seats anyway.

I just had to say this one thing.

"Controlling five whole Mutalisk squads at once."

"?!"

She flinched for a second.

"Y-yeah? I'm not, like, bad at control?"

She averted her eyes and tried to brush it off.

"Sure. Moving five squads without a single mistake was impressive. I can't even do that."

"Th-that's nothing! Just do it! Fuck, if your hands are fast enough, anyone can!"

"Yeah?"

I glanced sideways at her as I said it.

Swoosh!

She instantly pulled her legs off the chair.

Creak!

Then yanked her chair forward, huddling close to the computer.

Like she was trying to hide her screen from me.

But for a tiny kid her age, it wasn't enough.

I could see her screen wasn't the default PC bang wallpaper—there were compressed files and folders scattered around.

"Anyway."

I didn't bother checking further.

Instead, I looked at the name on her white name tag.

"Oh, right. This was weird too."

I dove back into the archives.

Skimming the abstracts of the remaining papers I hadn't checked.

Then, with a wry smile, I added...

"It was like you had eyes everywhere. You preempted my drop and had Turrets ready."

"Th-that? I just predicted it after a few probes?"

"Really? You never scouted once, but it was like precognition. Mad respect, seriously. Oh, hadn't seen this one."

Quantum entanglement in human brains via 2D harmonic oscillators?

Sudden inspirations or prophetic dreams actually caused by quantum brainwave linking?

Analyzing correlations between lottery winners based on that premise?

Whoa, this is totally about her.

Click.

I closed the nonsense paper and moved to the next.

"Hey."

I called out to her softly.

"……."

No response.

"Hong Ja-hee."

Finally, using the name I'd spotted earlier.

"What……."

She answered in a tiny voice.

I delivered the final verdict to her.

"You used map hacks."

"……."

"And multi-command too."

"……."

Same silence as before.

I didn't even bother looking to confirm.

I already knew what face she'd make.

"N-no!! Fuck, for real, I didn't―?! Hnng?!"

Her face beet red, she shot up and yelled at me.

Then suddenly slammed her head back down.

I wondered why and looked.

"F-fuck…… M-Mom's here……."

She whispered, holding her breath.

She frantically scanned for escape routes.

Then peeked up cautiously toward the door again.

"Ah, fuck, no……!"

She was trapped.

"H-hey! Hide me or something……!"

"What."

Before I could finish, Hong Ja-hee was already squeezing under my legs, into the desk space.

I wondered what kind of mom inspired this panic, so I glanced up to check.

"Whoa."

I had to whistle in admiration.

Apron still on, clutching a ladle.

And the way she gripped it wasn't for cooking.

It was pure attack stance, ready to smash the first skull she spotted.

"H-hey, don't look up……! What if she sees……!"

Looking down at her huddled form yelling in a hushed voice.

I finally saw her forehead under those long bangs.

A fresh red bump swollen up.

Definitely the ladle's handiwork.

"No wonder you grow your bangs to poke-your-eyes-out length. Now I get it."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

I didn't really want to know this deep, dark family secret.

"Fuck, is that important right now……?! Please! Pull the chair in quick! Hide me……! Please!"

Hong Ja-hee yanked desperately at my leg, dragging the wheeled chair over.

I let myself be pulled along, but leaned my upper body sideways.

To check her computer again.

Her PC bang ID matched her StarCraft one from earlier.

And damn, seven hours charged? True PC bang warrior.

-That ID with Ja-hee in English? Yeah? Ah, that's the one. This damn idiot kid, I told her a million times to come straight home after it ends, and here she is again……! This time, I'm showing her what for!

Her mom had already clocked the kid's ID too.

Well, with an ID like that, no way it flies under the radar.

"She already spotted you from your PC bang ID."

"Ah, fuck, right……! Should've logged off!!"

"But why use such an obvious ID? That bump says you've been caught more than once."

"Gotta use up all the charged time……!!"

Eh, fair point.

Pretty convincing.

"Ah fuck, what do I do?! Seriously, what……?! If she catches me again, my allowance is toast……!"

Toast, huh.

This kid wasn't just a StarCraft fiend—she ruled internet communities too. Prime cyber ghost material.

Bright future ahead. Yeah.

"Ah fuck, screw it. Hey, turn off my PC for me! Please! And tell her I'm not here! No, just play dumb……!!"

What to do.

Save her?

Or just watch her get ladle-smashed? Tempting.

"Hey, want me to save you once?"

But usually in these situations, you flip it to score that.

"There's one way to keep your allowance safe."

"F-for real?!"

I nodded calmly.

She immediately begged.

"Fuck, please! Save me……! I'll grant one wish! No money stuff!! Nothing impossible!!"

The caveats she added while begging were hilarious.

Second life savvy? Smart cookie.

Anyway.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Perfect. This was what I wanted.

I didn't need that wish voucher crap at all.

But Life Points? Game changer.

Could buy elixirs from the special shop to boost stats—my Intelligence, specifically.

"Alright."

I accepted the quest and immediately pulled two things from my bag.

First, the glasses I no longer needed since my Physique stat boosted my eyesight.

And my research notebook from today's debate class, where I'd jotted down future plans under the guise of "life goals."

Snap.

I put on the glasses like a total nerd.

Thud!

Plopped the notebook open confidently in front of the keyboard.

"Come out. Sit in the chair next to me and scoot close."

"I'll get caught right away……!"

"You'll get caught hiding anyway."

Her PC bang ID screamed "zIjaheeIz," and mom had already seen it.

Even if she slipped away here somehow.

Back home, it'd be ladle to the skull and allowance gone either way.

So.

"Better to go bold. Out in the open."

While Hong Ja-hee and I sat side by side, boldly pretending to debate something at the PC bang computers...

"Hong Ja-hee, there you are hiding!"

Her mom finally found us.

"You little shit, today you die and then I die!"

And her mom was faster than expected.

Whoosh!

No time to react—a full-power ladle swing incoming.

"Eek, eeeeeek……?!!"

Hong Ja-hee ducked and squeezed her eyes shut.

Clang.

It halted just short.

"……Hoo."

Me, wedged somehow between Hong Ja-hee and her mom.

A split second later, and it'd be my forehead instead.

"Hello?"

I caught my breath and greeted her with feigned composure.

"You……."

Catching her off guard, mom was still buffering.

I seized the opening.

"Are you Ja-hee's mom, by any chance?"

Polite as can be.

With the kind of well-mannered smile a good kid would flash.

Only then did her mom lower the ladle.

"I'm Ja-hee's mom, yeah. But who are you?"

"I'm her classmate, Han Kyung-jun."

I introduced myself with another bow.

Last time was just eye contact.

This time, a slight head and waist dip—childlike, not overdone.

A polite kid leading with manners? No parent can swing wildly at that.

"Ja-hee's friend, huh."

My strategy landed perfectly—mom ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠forced a smile and made her request.

"Mind stepping aside for a sec? Auntie and Ja-hee need to have a little talk."

Creak.

The ladle handle twisted in her grip.

Hong Ja-hee flinched and trembled behind me.

Yeah, their "talk" would be a very physical conversation.

One-sided, too.

Whew, calm down.

Back in college and grad school, tutoring through all kinds of helicopter parents.

And the weird profs I masked up for? Child's play compared.

This wasn't tough.

First off.

With quirky family types like this, you gotta poke first.

"Um, that's kinda tricky."

"What?"

Hong Ja-hee's mom's eyes narrowed sharply.