Chapter 18
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 18
Chapter Title: Mud Slime
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The two great spirits bickered back and forth until Sylph finally gave in.
"Promise you'll take me to a place full of water the moment we get out."
'How much water are we talking?'
"Where I come from, everything was covered in water. Somewhere like that would be perfect."
"But humans can't breathe underwater, right?"
Sylph had said exactly what I was thinking.
The ocean depths might satisfy Undine's conditions, but humans couldn't survive there.
"You can just make air bubbles for them. They can live inside those."
'People can't survive on air alone.'
"Don't worry about food. You like seafood, don't you?"
She promised to break down any waste with microbes the instant it left the body.
It was a perfectly great spirit way of thinking, with zero regard for human dignity.
"So, that leaves sex. Humans have sexual desires, right? Is that important?"
'It's extremely important. But spirits don't have those kinds of urges?'
"No need for them. We're not divided by gender like humans, we don't work to preserve our species, and we don't eat, sleep, or shit. None of those human needs mean anything to spirits."
'What about yin energy? You said it tastes good.'
"Life force is different. It's the source that powers creatures like you. I've wandered countless dimensions and seen all kinds of life forms, but I've never tasted anything as unique as yours. I only said it 'tastes good' because I liked the human expression."
Apparently, my yin energy was a rare treat even across dimensions.
The scale of this just exploded.
"It's nothing like that female's desires. She wants your body, but we're only interested in your life force."
'Don't talk nonsense. What makes you think Yeonseo wants my body...'
"You're so dense."
Undine cut me off.
I turned to see Oh Yeonseo's face about to explode.
What? Why's she reacting like that?
"......"
A strange tension hung between me and Oh Yeonseo.
If we were alone, I'd have kissed her and pinned her down by now, but not with the spirits watching.
"I don't mind."
'Stop reading people's minds without permission.'
"I read that female's mind too. Want me to tell you?"
"Uwaaaah! P-Please, Lady Undine... nooo..."
Oh Yeonseo waved her hands frantically, eyes brimming with tears.
Adorable.
"Anyway, what about your sexual desires? If the goal is just to ejaculate, I can handle it with water."
'With... water?'
Her brilliant idea left me speechless.
"I can do anything with water. Just shape it like a human hand and stroke, right?"
A water handjob.
This wasn't just brilliantly weird—it was next-level.
But how did she even know about jerking off?
'How do you even know about handjobs? Who was doing that in the gates? It was all women.'
Rubbing maybe, but jerking? No way.
"There are parallel dimensions where only men can enter gates. Some guys go in just to jerk off. Filthy bastards—they should clean up after themselves."
My gate knowledge just leveled up, but then Oh Yeonseo tugged my arm.
"W-Woojin... Instead of the spirits, let me..."
Wait, is this woman looking at me like that, expecting me to cave?
Why ask for a handjob when there's a perfectly good pussy right here?
"I could make a water pussy too."
'Enough with the water handjob talk already!'
"Seriously, what's so great about sticking it in that tight hole? Humans are so weird."
It's exactly because of that weirdness that humanity has thrived this long.
I let go of Oh Yeonseo's arm and spoke.
She flinched but still clung to my arm—pretty gutsy.
"Yeonseo, spirits think completely differently from us. Don't try to imitate them. If you're feeling that way, just have sex. Why ask for a handjob?"
"Huh?"
"I might be curious about a water handjob, but I'm not relieving my urges with a spirit. Got it?"
"Ah... y-yes..."
She looked relieved.
I had no idea why, but that wasn't important right now.
'Now stop with the excuses and let's make the contract. The ocean's not feasible right away, but there's a lake park near my place. That lake alone is bigger than this.'
"Really? Hmm... Fine, let's check it out. If it's bigger than here, it shouldn't feel too cramped."
Good, she wasn't refusing outright.
I'd placate her with the lake for now and hit up somewhere like Wolmido Island next weekend.
Contracting with Undine was simple.
A spray of water enveloped my body, gathering at the back of my hand and glowing.
A faint new pattern shimmered beneath the Gnome's emblem.
"All done. Keep your promise. By the way, you need to grow that vessel of yours. If Gnome and I both drain you, there won't be anything left."
Gnome had said the same during our contract.
My yin energy was delicious, but the vessel containing it was too small to eat our fill.
They weren't full yet, but if the food ran out, they'd get mad.
'How do I grow the vessel?'
"The gate didn't teach you that?"
'It gave me some info, but only answers to questions. Sylph even taught me a skill.'
[Tattling isn't nice. What a petty, stingy loser.]
'That's a fact!'
Stuff kept popping up that I didn't know— what was I supposed to do?
[Remember when Gnome sucked you dry before? Your vessel grew a bit then. The more your yin energy gets drained, the more it adapts to hold larger amounts. It'll expand on its own when it feels short. So keep generously sharing, Master.]
'If the great spirits keep draining me, it'll grow.'
The amount and speed Gnome absorbed was on another level compared to hunters.
A few more sessions like this, and my vessel would expand.
[That's not how the gate wants it. It has to be women, not spirits. Your yin energy needs to mature inside a woman's body to become the high-purity yin the gate loves. Spirits don't emit yin energy.]
'Complicated.'
[There are ways to get drained outside gates too. You spend more time out there, so more time to get drained.]
'No yin energy gets drained outside.'
In gates, even holding hands drained it greedily, but outside? Nothing.
If they won't take it, what am I supposed to do, chase them?
[Think beyond simple contact—deep infusion methods. You'll figure it out easily, Master.]
'No way...'
I was about to respond when Sylph cut in.
"Now it's time for my contract, right? I'm not picky like Undine. Wind and air are everywhere."
Every time Sylph's breeze brushed my skin, goosebumps prickled up.
Infused with spirit energy, it felt utterly different from normal wind.
Cool gusts alternated with hot ones, forming a small vortex on the back of my hand.
It etched something beneath the two great spirits' emblems, then vanished.
With this, I had become contractor to the third great spirit.
"But what about this gate? The boss is gone."
To clear a gate, you clear the field mobs and find the boss area.
Defeating the boss at its deepest point clears the gate.
Undine ate the boss, so there was none left here.
Meaning we couldn't clear it the usual way.
"Why? Do you need that filthy thing that was here?"
Undine asked.
'Yes. You have to kill the boss to clear the gate, but you ate it.'
"True, but want me to spit it back up?"
'You can do that?'
"Leviathan swallowed it— just tell it to regurgitate. You guys handle the rest."
Even better.
This was a perfect chance to pass Undine's power to Oh Yeonseo and see how much her summoning improved.
Beating the boss meant the artifact was ours too.
The water surface churned, and a massive water dragon rose up.
It was the Leviathan, the water demon beast that had burst apart against the golem earlier.
It opened its jaws wide and vomited something out.
Mud-like sludge that bizarrely refused to sink, floating on the surface.
It heaved for a while, then dove back underwater.
The floor-filling water swirled into a vortex and vanished with Leviathan.
On the now-muddy floor, the wriggling mud clumped together and slowly rose.
Upside-down bowl shape—straight out of a slime mold, covered head to toe in muck.
"Grraaaaaahhh—!!"
A scream hundreds of times thicker than Gnome's filled the corridor.
We'd studied every monster and boss that appeared in school gates, but this was new.
No data on movement patterns, attack methods, or weaknesses.
Blue gates truly were uncharted territory.
"Mud Slime."
Gnome said.
'How do you know?'
"It came from the earth—think I wouldn't recognize it?"
Come to think of it, it was made of mud.
"A demon beast born from impure muddled earth and water. Neither holds a fixed form, so it's tricky to fight."
As if proving Gnome's words, the thing stuck and unstuck itself repeatedly.
Slithering along, steadily closing the distance to us.
"Yeonseo."
"Yes."
"I've only made the contracts—I don't know how to handle the spirits. You're the expert here. I'll pass you both their powers, so you fight. If you run low on yin energy, I'll keep supplying you."
In other words: I'll chill on the sidelines while you show off.