Chapter 8
Chapter 8
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: Oh, Happy Day!
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***
A transaction is the act of buying and selling. Generally, it's adjusting the value of what the other party wants and what I want until they're roughly equal, then exchanging goods. That's a transaction.
The problem in my current situation is that what the trading partner wants isn't in my possession. Well, technically it is, but I absolutely can't give it. What the troll wants is my fresh, tender flesh, but I can't just hand that over, right?
[Left Shin - Fracture: Recovering (Contaminated Bandage + Splint (90%)]
‘My leg... still got a ways to go.’
At 90%, it's like a slight crack in the bone? I could probably run, but if I kick off the ground hard, it'll snap again—I'd bet my right arm on it. I'd just end up tripping while fleeing with my back turned. Even if that troll were the reincarnation of Buddha or Jesus, it wouldn't hold back.
In the end, I have to somehow negotiate my way out.
“Grrooo... Give words! Give wooords!!!”
Thud! Thud! Thud!
With no response to its words, Notum seemed pissed and was venting by slamming its massive hand into the ground.
‘What do I do? How can I drag my blood-dripping carcass out of a troll's territory after four days of starvation without giving it a single scrap of food?’
There has to be a way. It's a quest, so there must be a method. The troll is starving, and the scent of blood has it extremely excited. Plus, after four days without eating, its ferocity doesn't even need explaining—
‘Wait a sec. Four days, a full four days without food? A troll?’
Something flashed through Professor's mind as he desperately racked his brain.
‘Trolls are known for their superhuman strength and ridiculous regeneration. High regeneration means a highly active metabolism. That means they burn through energy fast. Normal trolls go berserk and head out of their territory to hunt after just half a day without food. But four days? Even if Notum is a rational troll, that's impossible!’
Even humans can't think of anything but food after three days of starvation. For a troll that turns savage the moment its stomach empties, four days is physically impossible.
‘My premise is wrong. Notum hasn't starved for the last four days. It ate something, but it didn't like it!’
The outline of the quest began to take shape in his mind. And with it, the thought that maybe, just maybe, he could survive this!
‘If I'm right, I need to convince it.’
Professor gathered his thoughts for a moment, then opened his mouth.
“Um... Notum?”
“Give words, little big human.”
“Whoa, whoa, calm down! You're right! Of course I'll give it! We're sorry, Notum. You must've been really hungry, huh?”
He spoke soothingly, and Notum nodded as if in agreement.
“Notum. Strong. Hunting food, not hard. Ate wolf, bear, squirrel, deer. Tasty people one, two, three. Let pass. Ate tasteless wolf, bear, squirrel, deer. Keeps promises well. Notum's belly full. Notum's tongue hungry.”
Just as he thought. Notum's desire wasn't instinctual—it was a matter of taste. It had given up delicious human flesh for its favorite horse meat, filling its belly with less preferred wild game while waiting.
‘That's why I didn't run into a single wolf in two hours of defenselessly wandering this forest unarmed.’
“Good, Notum! I'll give you the horse!”
Professor stood from his seated position, brushing the dirt off his clothes with his good hand. He needed to look as healthy as possible. Not like food, but like a conversation partner.
“Ooooh! Horse! One, two, three, four, five! Where?”
“Over~ there, beyond the hill! Not five, but ten! No, a hundred ready!”
“T-Ten? H-Hunhred???? ”
“Hmm... you don't know numbers that high yet? Yeah, what I'm saying is we've prepared enough horses to fill this forest! Come on, imagine! Horses! Neighing 'neigh neigh' filling the woods!”
“F-Fill... woods!”
“Yeah! Filling the woods! Enough to stuff your fingers, your toes!”
“U-Uuuu! Grooo!!”
Notum pretended to count on its fingers, then trembled with a huge grin.
‘This gourmet troll held back from touching passersby in its territory for four days because of anticipation. The belief that its patience now would bring a mountain of horse meat later, even tastier rewards. That belief was propping up the rational corner of this troll's mind.’
So his task was clear. Inflate that anticipation even more to firmly anchor the troll's rationality, then slip away in the meantime. Luckily, he'd never see Notum again, so he could issue all the bad checks he wanted.
The troll, drooling at whatever it was imagining, sparkled its eyes and said,
“Notum ready! Where horse!”
“Well... over there, way over there...”
“Gro?”
Notum stared in the direction Professor pointed. Toward the horizon beyond the wheat fields rippling like waves in harvest season.
“Thing is... bad stuff happened with the iron humans.”
“B-Bad... stuff?”
“Yeah, bad stuff. Really, really bad. Bad guys showed up and stole Notum's horses!”
“Grooo? Stole Notum's food?”
“Yep! That's why the iron humans can't come here—they're guarding so no more horses get stolen!”
Notum's face scrunched up in thought for a moment, then twisted hideously.
“So... no horse?”
‘One wrong word here and I'm dead!’
Gulp.
“Not now! Not now, I said! I can bring them all by tomorrow! Promise! It's a promise, Notum! By this time tomorrow, no matter what, you'll have your horses!’
‘Build up the anticipation plenty, then take the risk. If Notum's expectation of a mountain of horse meat holds its rationality, success. If its desire for the meat in front of it overrides... fuck, after all this, it can't end like that!’
He'd done all he could. Honestly, if Notum were any smarter, he wouldn't have even tried. This was his best shot. If Notum bared its fangs again... whatever. He'd just quit the game. Better to grind like a dog for 700,000 silver from Kan Gehan than feel the pain of being chewed alive.
Still, he figured the odds of success were high. For one thing, the thing flinched every time he mentioned 'iron humans.' No matter how smart, taming a wild man-eating monster had to involve some coercion. It probably recognized the level gap between itself and the knights. And since he was connected to those 'iron humans,' it'd hesitate to touch him.
After a highly avant-garde display of 'a troll's face torn between reason and instinct,' Notum let out a massive sigh that could’ve sunk the ground and stood up.
“Notum? Where you going?”
“Gro. Notum. Hungry. Go hunt.”
“So... you're not eating me?”
Swish—
‘This troll's got expressive faces for a troll.’
Notum, turning its back but looking over its shoulder, wore an expression like it still had some lingering regret.
“Notum. Wise. Mountain of horses, neigh neigh! Living horse. Iron human granted request. So Notum waits.”
“Living horse? Request?”
“Grrk. Living horse. All so far dead horse. Torn horse, chopped horse, bloated horse, horse mixed with weird stuff. Notum eats anything well, but living best. So asked iron human for living horse. Grooo.”
Apparently, the group managing this troll had been feeding it horse meat from various accidents.
‘Extremely efficient. The price of live versus dead horses is worlds apart. Cleaning the forest of dangerous wildlife with scraps of horse meat? Smart move.’
Trolls value their territory highly. As long as Notum stayed here, the odds of orcs or other trolls settling nearby dropped sharply, and with occasional hunger pangs, it'd handle the wild animals itself. Way more profit than the cost of horse meat.
‘The iron humans are knights from Turan lord's side.’
Now, it was a relief he hadn't had the strength to attack Notum. In this situation, this troll was basically the lord's property.
Anyway, whatever. The dangerous part was completely over now.
Notum wrinkled its nose, still tormented by the blood scent, but with things settled, it was best for everyone if he left quickly.
“Alright then, that's the deal—wait just until tomorrow, Notum! I'm off!”
Professor said that and hurriedly stood.
***
Notum watched Professor intently as he gathered his staff, the loosened splint, and his things. Arms and legs that looked uncomfortable at a glance, fresh blood scent still strong. Notum felt an inexplicable discomfort.
“...Gro.”
Professor's shoulder, as he tried to hurry away, was suddenly yanked back. Notum had approached and grabbed it.
‘Shit! Caught! Even with low intelligence, piling on the horse mountain was too much? Should've moderated! Fooled it with more detail!’
Professor chewed on the wave of regret. Notum quietly gazed at him, then spoke.
“Little big human. Hurt.”
“Y-Yeah! This! It's nothing!”
Professor desperately denied it.
Notum shook its head. Iron humans. Strong. Cut the tree Notum swung with tiny skewer. Said bad guys stole horses, and even strong iron humans couldn't come—so bad guys strong too. Little big human got hurt protecting Notum's horses.
Notum looked down at the little big human, barely reaching its waist. Weak, injured little creature. Yet with that battered body, it remembered the promise with Notum, left its stone nest, and came all the way to Notum's territory.
“Little big human. Hurt bad. No strength.”
“N-No, I said! I'm still fine! Look at these muscles! Muscles! Won't even chew well!”
Suddenly, a novel emotion welled up in Notum's chest, one it'd never felt before. Like a tiny creature wriggling helplessly in front of it, unable to even support its own body. The sight of that fragile being struggling for Notum's sake tickled its heart.
“Grooo....”
Scratch scratch scratch!
Scratching wildly at the strange feeling in its chest, Notum said to Professor, now nearly in panic,
“Little big human.”
“N-No! Mountain of horse meat! Think of the horse meat! Please!”
“Road dangerous. Come with Notum.”
Notum didn't know it, but that was what people called 'maternal instinct.'
“What...?”
Notum was female.
***
Thud! Thud!
Autumn. The season when golden wheat fields laugh in the wind's whisper, and spotless clear skies spread like a lake.
Anyone who'd spent years seeing only barren wastelands wouldn't be able to tear their eyes away from such a scene, but Professor had no mind for beautiful landscapes.
“Um... Notum? You don't have to escort me all the way like this...”
“Little big human weak. Notum strong. Notum smash bad guys, get horses.”
Hearing Notum's words, another deep furrow of worry creased Professor's brow.
Ha, for fuck's sake. He thought he'd wrapped it up perfectly right to the end, not a super play unworthy of the name!
“Little big human, eat much meat. Notum give one horse.”
“Th-Thanks, h-ha ha...”
Damn it. How did it come to this?
- Professor: Hey, viewers. Anyone know anything about this situation?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Lol I'm dying ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
- Take a Look: Dude this is insane ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
- Deer Drug Please: Ah, after all that, gotta cut him slack for closing chat ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Professor The Charismatic Man!
- Heung An Mandu: Even man-eating monsters aren't safe around him! How far does his defense range extend!
- Professor: Notum's female?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Couldn't tell? Got boobs and long lashes.
- Professor: How could I see if I couldn't tell? And that's not boobs. Pecs.
- Holy: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Of course.
Earlier in the forest, Mental Fragility made even one or two chat messages unbearable, so he'd closed it briefly. Now they were chatting among themselves out of spite, and not one offered help.
Thud, thud!
Bouncing up and down on Notum's shoulder, Professor felt seasick from the swaying view and squeezed his eyes shut.
‘What happens if it takes me all the way to the city like this?’
First off, Notum's a troll. Looks like one, acts like one—perfect monster. Just nearing the city would set off alarms, and guards and knights would swarm out. And me, riding on such a Notum's shoulder...
‘Black Mage confirmed.’
Black Mages are World 3's main enemy faction. World 3 divides into three parts:
The great war era starting from the territorial wars of the Cephalin Three Kingdoms, who ignored the peace treaty around World 2's end and declared war—called the Warring States period in the community, Solar Calendar 121~124.
The Black Mages' era, when nations and cities were locked in stalemate after three years of endless war depleted resources, hatred at its peak, security in chaos, and they began their uprising: late 124~127.
When the Black Mages couldn't be stopped, and their creations, Mutation Blood—aka Mutts—invaded en masse, kicking off World 3's true downfall: 127~130.
That's World 3 in summary. He hadn't pinned down the exact era yet, but the peaceful roads suggested not the great war time. Likely the Black Mages' era.
‘The time when each nation's leaders started noticing the Black Mages, thought wiped out 70 years ago.’
In such times, walking into a city looking like a Black Mage? Oh, better to just suicide 100 times over. Knights in this era learned torture as culture.
For that reason, he had to ditch Notum before entering city territory.
But...
“Grooo. Little big human, soft swamp in my territory. Met many injured beasts there. When get horses, you go too. Eat meat, soak body, heal quick. Grooo.”
‘No, seriously, why are you doing this much for me?!’
No matter how he looked, this troll had no intention of letting him go.
***
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