Chapter 63
Chapter 63
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Inside Out (10)
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***
"Here you go, take a good look around."
"Hahaha, thanks for the cooperation. It's all for the safety of Sector 47, so don't take it too hard...."
Clunk—
"Huh....."
"What."
"No, it's just...."
Ezel, following behind Ian, caught sight of the armed truck's cargo bay opening up on both sides and lost his words entirely.
It was packed to the brim with an insane amount of firearms and explosives, loaded up like moving furniture since there was no room left. The variety ranged from high-end stuff rare even in the Dome to beat-up secondhand gear that only Scavengers would use.
"You just need to see what we're selling, right? Sorry, but if I show you our own gear too, it'll give away our strength, and I can't exactly stomach that."
"Th-then this isn't everything?"
"Hm? You're asking the obvious? Who'd load a whole truck just for show? This is promo stock to spread our brand name—selling it at a discount. Even if it looks like a lot, it's all pre-packaged, so it won't take long."
Even a rough count showed enough to arm three Raptor legions with plenty left over, and he was saying he'd dump it all at rock-bottom prices for promotion.
'And this isn't even all of it. This Metaljaw guy's got his guard way up with me. Unless it's absolutely necessary, he'll hide the rest, so this is probably just for show......'
No matter how he thought about it, it was too much to pass off as a casual display to fool him.
'Sector 43's spice merchant. They've been making a name for years, and sure enough, not your average joe.'
Ezel studied his face closely to commit it to memory. Prominent eyes and nearly half his face made of metal—a highly distinctive look. But oddly, it felt familiar.
"Um...."
"What? Something wrong with my goods?"
"No, we'll wrap up the inspection of the merchandise here. But.... have we met somewhere before?"
Ezel was an inspector, and he sorted people in his memory into two categories: those whose faces stuck because he saw them often, and those he remembered because he had to.
No way he'd seen Sector 43's merchant regularly, so the familiarity had to be from the latter......
'But no match no matter how I look?'
Feeling an eerie sense of déjà vu, Ezel subtly sketched Ian's face in his mind when prickling stares started coming from around him.
"Uh.... do you have something to say to me?"
Professor staring at him with bewildered eyes. The old man squeezing his shut like he'd seen something he shouldn't. And,
Crack, creak!
The big guy twisting his face as far as it could go.
"We. Have. Met. Before....? Man, the Dome bastards must have some fine tech, huh? Guts swollen right out of your belly—did they culture a half-dozen and stuff 'em up your ass?"
"Ian. No killing. We gotta live here."
"Got it. Course I do. No worries, Professor. I'm being perfectly rational right now, fully in control."
The man approached Ezel, muttering something incomprehensible.
"Uh..... sorry, what are you talking about....."
"Heh! Inspector, that's some ancient, blunt pickup line."
"....Huh?"
Only then did Ezel realize what misunderstanding he'd caused. The big man had taken his offhand question in a whole different way.
"Endure it."
"Yeah. I can endure."
"Endure it, I said."
"Hahaha. Hey Professor, believe me? You doubting a battle buddy we've crossed death with?"
"Bex, grab him."
Whoosh!
Click!
Right on cue, Bex charged as Ian pulled a comically small pistol from his pocket that didn't match his bulk at all.
"Uwaaak! Nooo! Endure it! If you shoot the inspector dead, we'll be hunted by the Dome our whole lives!"
"Let go, fuck! That bastard.... that bastard looked at me with filthy eyes! Oh yeah? I'll play along! Shove some big, thick, hard dynamite up every hole till you go out in a blaze to paradise!"
Bang!
"Uwaaak! He actually shot!"
"Inspector! Get down! Grab his arm, arm!"
"I'll kill you! How dare you insult me like this! Anyone who mentions Dome in front of me from now on, I'll rip out their spineeee!!"
Bang!
"Hepburn! Grab the gun, gun!"
"This fucker's biting! How's a jaw like that got such bite force!"
After the chaos died down, Ian finally calmed once Ezel, flat on the floor, had spilled every detail of the Inspection Department's personnel ID method, confessed like a sinner that he had perfectly normal sexual tastes and there'd been zero implication of that sort.
***
"Huff, huff, huff."
Tied up again with the same rope from morning, looking like a maggot, Ian drooled through his gag while glaring murderously at the inspector.
"Uh.... you must've been pretty shocked? He's got a real hot temper."
"Huff, huff, n-no, sir. I said something that left room for misunderstanding...."
Truth be told, Ezel had lost interest in the big lug long ago. More than that, amid the commotion, a name had caught his ear.
'I definitely heard it. Once, but Professor called the old man Bex, and the man called Professor Hepburn.'
Scratch, scratch, scratch—
Ezel's pen danced nonstop over his notepad.
'Hepburn. The leader of the group that came out on top in the massive clash in Sector 45 recently—the name he uses. Hepburn, Ian, Bex. H.... HIV. It's them, these guys are the conquerors of Sector 45!'
A few days ago, an underground bunker in Sector 45 full of ancient resources. Dome and Raptor forces clashed to claim it, hundreds of mutants and Scavengers dying alongside Dome elites and Raptor legions in that hell, but the victors who seized the spoils were a three-man group called HIV, their names not even known.
A week later, Dome had scoured everywhere for info, but the troops sent into the bunker were wiped out.
Sector 45 informants swept away in the Raptor massacre, and chaotic Sector 43 yielded zero intel. Forced to rely on community rumors, they missed the chance to make contact early, and now the bunker security key presumed stolen by them was up on the exchange in auction.
Inspection, Enforcement, City Council—all unanimously marked them top recruitment priority with a live capture bounty, and here they were, settling in Sector 47 right in front of him.
'E-emergency report priority. Streamer 'professor' as HIV's leader. Makes sense they're expanding like this. Must be raking in cash. Especially that key—still topping the exchange auction leaderboard in real time.'
"Inspector."
"Uh.... this is beyond imagination.... Professor, you're.... no way...."
"Inspector?"
"Y-yes? Yes, sir! Wh-what is it, Professor, sir?"
Ezel snapped to at Professor's call. A total shift from his usual smarmy demeanor. No choice. If this Professor was that 'Hepburn,' a single latest-model exosuit wouldn't even scratch him—a combat master beyond measure.
No info on style or power, but piercing a battlefield where mutants, Dome, and three Raptor factions collided—and walking out with loot? His absurd strength was obvious even without reports.
Professor eyed the suddenly stiff Ezel oddly and spoke soothingly.
"Seems things got awkward today with the misunderstanding. If you need more info, let's connect privately next time. You know my nick. Mind sharing yours? For contact. I get not revealing real names for security, but a community handle's fine, right?"
"Uh.....huh?"
Wait. My ID?
.
.
.
.
Click, click, ding—!
'[Soy Sauce Gaybar]'
'Fuuuuck!!!'
In that instant, Ezel realized Dome politics were the least of his worries. Soy Sauce Gaybar. His nickname. The countless misdeeds hidden behind that anonymity!
'[Legendary Stench], [Terminal Exhibitionism], [Unique Diet: Filth], [Chronic Vomiting]. Whaddya think?'
'Fuck off, Professor. You think I'm a pushover? Ahhn~?'
'Trait 6: [Mental Fragility]!'
'Kekekekeke he's dead lmao'
No, no. Past me, what the hell did I do....!
A highlight reel of Professor's in-game suffering flashed by—all caused by him. The conqueror of Sector 45, superhuman fighter HIV's leader Hepburn, whom he'd rolled like a dog!
'D-dead. If he finds out, I'm done for....!'
Professor's chat 'Hey where you live?' echoed like a hallucination in Ezel's ears.
He desperately tried to stay calm, but cold sweat soaked his pits and back.
"Inspector, you hot? Why're you sweating like that?"
"Y-yes, n-no, it's nothing! I-I've got hyperhidrosis!"
"Oh? Come to think, your clothes are blood-soaked. Shower up inside before you go? Our shelter's small, but facilities are decent......"
"I-I'm hydrophobic too! Afraid of water!"
"R-really?"
'God, Buddha, Jesus, Confucius! Please don't let him catch on! Please!'
Seeing Professor's brow slowly furrow, Ezel prayed desperately.
"Y-yes! Anyway! Inspection's all clear, so I'll head out!"
"....Right, well. Then your nick—"
"I'llgobye!"
Ezel whirled away, pretending desperately not to hear Professor's last words. Natural, act natural! Damn it, why're my joints so stiff! Why's breathing so deliberate! Even a boar in rut wouldn't huff like this!
But his frantic efforts paid off—the stealth field's edge hissed with noise ahead. Just a bit more, reach the suit and......
"....Halt."
"Ah."
'Such@#%^&!!!'
Steps from safety, the sharp voice pierced his ear. Ezel instinctively knew Professor had caught on.
Turning slowly like a horror flick protagonist, he saw Professor staring him down, hands in pockets, head tilted slightly.
"Inspector.... you said earlier you watch my streams religiously. And from the moment Bex called me 'Hepburn' and you started acting weird......?"
"Uh uh uh.... th-that's...."
Tremble, shake!
Ezel's hand fumbled his pocket frantically. Emergency beacon, emergency beacon....!
"Actually, I moved assuming you knew our intel from the start, but thinking it over, Sector 45 Scavengers charged blindly, so the spice merchant = HIV link's still contained to Sector 43. Naturally, Dome knows the merchant joined our big dream, but not that we're the near-mythical HIV."
Clunk.
Fumbling his pocket, Ezel remembered leaving the beacon in the suit. His mind went blank.
"That explains why our inspector here's rushing off.... but why hide your nick so hard? Like you've got guilt? Right? Viewers?"
Step, step, step.
Thud.
Professor stood behind frozen Ezel, slinging an arm over his shoulder with a devilish grin that ensnared souls. He was certain.
"Who are you?"
"Eeek!"
Terror choked Ezel; all he could do was whimper.
***
Ten minutes later, Ian's old rope was repurposed to bind Ezel.
"Oh ho."
Flinch!
"Oh hooo—"
Flinch! Flinch!
Each exclamation from Professor made Ezel, trussed up on the shelter sofa, twitch like he'd been pricked.
"Soy—Sauce Gaybar. Soy Gay."
"Y-yes, Professor, sir."
"Soy Gay?"
"Y-yes, sir?"
"Why so scared? We're not one-day acquaintances—call me like usual? Professor~ you bastard~ Professor fucker~. Right? Soy buddy?"
"N-nooo! J-just Professor, sir!"
Professor smirked at the Soy Sauce Gaybar frozen like a rookie. He'd wanted to meet this guy proper. Knew he was loaded and Dome-based, but an elite inspector with exosuit access to boot.
"Soy Sauce Gaybar..... striking nick. So you were eyeing me like that, huh?"
Ezel spasmed at Ian behind him tossing and catching dynamite one-handed.
"Absolutely not! I just asked 'cause you looked familiar! For real!"
"Oh? Take a closer look then. Ever seen a face like this?"
"N-no! Never!"
Ian lit a lighter with a click and shoved his face close; Ezel blurted frantically. Satisfied, Ian chuckled and stepped back.
"Ian, don't scare him too much. He's a Dome inspector, practically my lifesaver."
"Oh right. Wasn't it this guy that kicked off our roleplay?"
"Y-yeah! Without the fuel and cash I sent then, no generator, no big-earning character like now—"
Shing—shiiiing—
Bex, sharpening his blade on a whetstone, checked the edge and his eyes gleamed.
"So.... the bastard who planted a time bomb in Hepburn's head. This guy......"
Gulp.
Ah, fuck. My fate said I'd die young from this prick's tongue.
"Speaking of. Hey, Hyde. Say hi. This is your godfather."
[Ooh, godfather! Hi?]
Ezel's mind went white at Professor's twitching finger and the razor-sharp kukri opposite.
"Soy Sauce Gaybar. No, Ezel. You know the wasteland rule: give and take clear-cut. We owe you quite the pile from five years back. How about settling it all now......?"
"Pr-Professor.... sir! Wait! Just wait!!!"
"No killing. Losing a hand or foot doesn't shock you to death. Trust me. Thanks to certain someones, I started GG random traits and lost limbs plenty in-game. Expert on this."
Shake, tremble!
Ezel squeezed his eyes shut at Professor's iron tower stance and white smile.
"Last five years. You made it fun. Soy."
Shing!
Before anyone could stop him, Professor swung the kukri.
Snap snap snap—
The blade only sliced the ropes binding Ezel. Professor sheathed it casually and playfully slapped his shoulder.
"Heh heh heh. Yo, scared? You tormented my heart these past days, so I gave you a taste—"
Thud.
"....Soy? Ezel?"
"He passed out?"
Bex and Ian, grinning at the swing, paled in panic.
"Yo, small fry. He's an inspector. What happens if he blacks out and doesn't report back?"
"Wh-what! They'll treat it as an attack and Dome spec ops swarm our last stop!"
.....Shit.
Professor knelt by slumped Ezel, slapping and shaking his cheeks.
"Yo, Soy. Wake up."
Slap slap.
"Soy! Joke went too far! Get up!"
Slap! Slap!
No matter how hard Professor smacked, Ezel flopped like rotten wood.
"Screwed! He's totally broken!"
"Water! Get water! If this guy's mind doesn't snap back, we're all dead!"
"Fuck! Professor you dumb fuck! Know when to quit joking!"
"You think I wanted this!"
Just like that, another uproar erupted in Professor's shelter to revive fainted Ezel.
Ezel opened his eyes five hours later, as frantic contact tones blared from his exosuit.
***