Welcome to Happy Lostco
As soon as word spread that I had come to my senses after a week, the crew gathered at the hideout.
"Waaaah, Master...!"
Yu Min-seo buried her face in my sleeve, her cheeks smeared with tears and snot.
"I told you not to do it because it was dangerous!"
Whack whack whack!
Choi Eun-ha, unable to contain her anger, pounded my back over and over.
"Everyone's making way too big a deal of this. I always trusted that Do-sa would wake up safe and sound."
"Truly a relief, Master."
"Sorry for worrying you all for nothing."
Though I didn't mention it, Lee Ha-ram wasn't in great shape either. From what I heard, as the owner of the hideout and the one who'd been by my side the longest of the four, he'd kept vigil the entire time. Ha-ram had always been scrawny, but now he was thin to the point of being practically a skeleton.
"Come to think of it, where's Han-soo?"
"Well, about that..."
"Ah, it's fine. It happens."
Apparently, Kim Han-soo had decided to cut ties with me. I couldn't blame him—had I been in his position, I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't have done the same. Honestly, the strange ones were the people here, who stuck around as if it were the most natural thing in the world even after hearing the story.
In any case, it seemed I hadn't caused worry only for them.
"Hey, why aren't you picking up? Choi Sun-woo—no, Dad—is freaking out because he can't reach you."
"Do-sa Kim? I'm calling about payment, but you've been unreachable. Did something happen to you?"
"Do-sa Kim, this is Shin Han-hee. There's something I'd like your advice on recently. Would you be available to meet or take a call for a moment?"
"Hey, Do-sa Kim! You bastard, you said you wouldn't take commissions! How dare you stab me in the back like this! If you have a conscience, hand over 10% of the fee!"
"Thank you for everything at Yeoindo, Do-sa Kim. I'd like to set up a dinner to thank you properly—when might you be free? So-da, Jin-woo, and PD Choi all want to attend as well."
"You haven't been streaming at all lately. Is something going on with Cosmos? As your number one overseas fan, I'm worried."
"Looks like I've been living earnestly lately. I'm getting this many calls."
"That is NOT the takeaway here!"
Whack!
"Ugh!"
That Choi Eun-ha... she hits harder than she looks.
"You think a mere blow like this can affect me, now evolved into my Second Form...!"
"Quit talking nonsense and call everyone to tell them you're fine."
"Fine, fine. More importantly, what happened with the stream?"
I streamed at least four times a week. Then I'd gone silent for a whole week without even a notice. Of course people were in an uproar. For my plans going forward, the stream needed to run without a hitch...
"I posted a notice in advance, saying you'd be resting for a week because you were unwell."
"I see. Hmm. Our viewers must have been going crazy."
And with good reason—my stream was a bit unique, wasn't it? Plus, the last thing they'd seen was me exorcising a fake Dragon King at the Paranormal Society. There'd probably be several thousand more people than usual tuning in.
Come to think of it, could I hit five thousand subscribers by the end of the year?
"I doubt it, honestly."
"What?"
Choi Eun-ha shrugged with a sour look on her face.
"While you were sprawled at the dinner table groaning for a week, Yi-yeon, Gremlin OBS was the hot topic. Thanks to that, the paranormal-occult channels that had been slowly growing exploded in number. It's honestly a little scary to watch channels that had zero interest in this stuff pivoting overnight."
"...It got that famous?"
Gremlin OBS.
Something I already knew about. True to the name OBS, it was a broadcasting software of unknown authorship that had suddenly spread across the internet one day. It first got famous because, despite being open-source, it outperformed most paid programs.
But Gremlin OBS became famous for something else entirely—rumors spread that if you recorded with it, things that should never be caught on camera started appearing.
Of course, plenty of people pushed back—it wasn't even a camera lens, how could software make ghosts show up?...
The Gremlin OBS Everyone's Talking About! I'm Going to Verify It Myself!
The Truth Behind the Ghost-Recording OBS!
Ghost Hunting at an Abandoned House~
Streamers who didn't give a damn about ghosts or anomalies so long as it meant views took the bait, and the result...
WAAAAAAAH!
SAVE ME! SAVE ME! SAVE ME!
MOM! I—I don't wanna die...!
With those lives as the price, Gremlin OBS left behind proof that it was real. But back then, the Paranormal Administration Bureau swooped in and the related videos were yanked down immediately. The story fizzled out into hushed rumors passed around in whispers.
And then...
"Over this past week, the big-name YouTubers all raced to do paranormal occult streams with Gremlin OBS like it was a coordinated event. Thanks to that, it's now famous enough that even kindergarteners know about it."
Fresh kindling thrown onto a dying fad. I had a pretty good idea whose doing it was.
Cosmos...
I'd suspected it the first time I heard about Gremlin OBS, and sure enough—this was Cosmos's handiwork. From the broadcasting station all the way to Gremlin OBS. Why was Cosmos so hell-bent on advertising the existence of anomalies to the whole world?
Think about it—isn't that strange? If a corporation like Cosmos got tangled up with anomalies, the normal move would be to exploit them in secret and chase profit. But Cosmos was practically desperate to thrust anomalies into the spotlight instead.
Why on earth?
"Damn it, if I knew that I'd have laid out a mat and set up shop..."
"Don't you do fortune-telling content all the time, Do-sa?"
"It's a figure of speech."
After that, I sent my regards to everyone who'd reached out and headed home. I'd kept them waiting a week; I owed my viewers a hello too. ...I just had to trust they hadn't jumped ship for the shiny new trend.
And so, connecting to the stream for the first time in a while...
Hm, the chat was scrolling faster than usual. Being back after so long, I suppose. Quick, slap on a chat delay—
"Yes, I'm sorry for the delay, everyone. I hit a bit of a bottleneck during my meditation training and had a rough time of it. I appreciate your patience."
Ahh, THIS is why I stream! Before getting into the main content, I spent a leisurely hour shooting the breeze with them, then dove in.
"Now, I have a major announcement today."
"No, cut the nonsense, please...! Ahem. As of today, I'm launching a new content series. It's called [Do-sa Kim Goes!]"
"Ugh, as long as the meaning gets across, quit complaining! Anyway, [Do-sa Kim Goes!] is different from the indoor content I've done until now, like viewer stories and fortune readings. In this series, I'll personally travel to famous ghost stories and haunted spots reported by viewers and exorcise them myself."
Now that I knew both exorcisms and streaming racked up merit, there was no reason not to combine them. Plus...
The more famous I get as the icon of fake scripted paranormal streams, the more the general public's perception of anomalies will tilt toward 'anomalies? They're all hoaxes, obviously.'
Until now, I hadn't particularly cared one way or the other whether anomalies and the supernatural became known to the world. But now that Cosmos was clearly trying to screw me over, I had no intention of letting things flow the way they wanted. If someone hates you for no reason, the natural move is to give them a reason, isn't it?
"Looking forward to lots of reports, everyone."
Behold: the era of farming merit and money in one go.
"Argh, Yi-yeon! Do you know why you always end up like this? It's because you're the type who has to taste-test to find out whether it's poop or soybean paste!"
"I... I'm sorry."
"Hey, Choi Eun-ha, quit yelling at Do-sa Kim and organize your own pile."
"M-Master, I've finished proofreading pages 15 through 20."
Lee Ha-ram handed me the sorted files with a dazed expression.
"T-Teacher, I'm done too..."
The viewer report drive for [Do-sa Kim Goes!] had been a success. The problem was that it had been too successful. The ongoing paranormal boom, the Gremlin OBS fad, and the synergy of the Paranormal Society combined, and the reports came flooding in like a tidal wave.
The problem was figuring out how to sift the real ones from the flood. We weren't a state agency like the Paranormal Administration Bureau, nor a mega-corp like Cosmos. In the end, the only option was the brute-force method of reviewing every single report by hand.
That was absolutely not a one-man job, so I had no choice but to call in the Anomaly Strike Squad—Ha-ram was pushing that as our crew's official name—and ask for help.
"Agh, my eyes... it's finally over."
Choi Eun-ha was the last to finish reviewing, stretching with a groan.
"Tch. Good work, everyone."
"You'd better mean it. You'd better."
For all her griping, the truth was that Eun-ha had worked the hardest of anyone on the sorting.
"Min-seo's already a bona fide summoner, Ha-ram can at least fumble his way through a talisman, and Momo's got hidden talent—but me? I'm just plain ordinary. If I want to be part of things, this is the sort of work I have to do, right?"
"Don't talk like that."
"It's not wrong, is it? So, which one are we visiting first?"
Having sorted through hundreds of emails, Eun-ha pulled up her hand-picked shortlist on the laptop screen.
— The Man-Eating Tiger of Bukhansan —
— The Big-Box Mart You Cannot Leave —
— The Station That Should Not Exist —
— The Hospital That Eats People —
The reports on this list were cases where the accounts sent in by unrelated strangers all matched—meaning the odds of them being genuine were extremely high.
"This one."
"Ooh, figures Yi-yeon thought this one looked the most fun too, huh?"
"Not fun—I picked it because it looked the most accessible."
And so, before wrapping up the historic [?] first meeting of the Anomaly Strike Squad...
"Before you go, accept this link."
"What link?"
"You'll see when you accept it."
Steel-ing myself, I invited the four of them to the plan I'd purchased from Nikola's Hyper-Radio Communication.
A permanent channel that keeps the connection between people going, no matter the circumstances.
Permanent Channel:02081
Channel Name:Anomaly Strike Squad
It was the permanent version of the channel we'd used at Yeoindo—one that worked even inside anomaly domains. It could even carry messages from the Outside in, and from inside out.
Nikola, brother... did you really have to go this far?
No wonder Edison wiped the floor with you...!
But I had no regrets. It was the least I could do—a token of goodwill and a safety measure for the people who'd stayed by my side even while Cosmos had me in its sights.
"If anything happens, text or call me on this. No matter what anomaly phenomenon you get caught up in, the connection will hold."
"Ooooh~ what's this, Yi-yeon? Are you worried about us?"
"Just testing it out."
"Aww, he's embarrassed! He's embarrassed! What kind of full-grown adult gets flustered over something like this? So cringe~ Anyway, I'll head out first."
"You're leaving without dinner?"
"I have a family thing."
As Eun-ha flashed a wry smile, I casually tossed something at her.
Plop.
"Hm? What's this? A ring... huh?"
Receiving the Azure Ring, Choi Eun-ha's eyes went round.
"Keep it. It's a rare artifact—as long as you're carrying it, it protects you from all manner of curses and anomalous attacks, and it keeps your body in peak condition."
"...Why are you giving ME something like this?"
"Like you said—Ha-ram can use talismans, Min-seo's a proper summoner, and Momo... well, she hasn't trained yet but her talent's outstanding. You're the only ordinary one. You should at least have something on you to protect yourself."
"...What, that's all it was?"
Eun-ha shot me a sidelong glare, then pocketed the ring.
"Okay, I'm off!"
Nervously sweeping back the blonde hair that had somehow grown down past her ears, Choi Eun-ha left the hideout.
"Why so cranky when you just got a nice gift?"
"...Master, are you by any chance a mother conso... Never mind."
"What? What were you about to say?"
"Nothing, it's nothing at all."
Ha-ram deflected awkwardly.
"Do-sa Kim?"
"Yeah?"
"Is there nothing for me?"
Momo asked with a smile that cast a deeper shadow than usual.
"Um..."
I had a premonition that answering wrong would land me in very deep trouble.
"I-I'm working on it!"
Grin.
"I'll be waiting."
"Uh, right..."
Somehow it felt like I'd stepped on a landmine and tiptoed past it at the last second.
"Ha-ram, pass me a spoon over there."
"Yes, sir!"
"Min-seo, did you call your mother?"
"Yep! She says to eat well and come back soon."
"Momo, set out the dishes, please."
"Okay~."
And so, just as Eun-ha had gone and the rest of us were about to sit down to dinner together...
Ring.
A single message arrived. The problem was that it had come through the Anomaly Strike Squad channel.
— Newbie — Jjthtjf — 26.08.18 — 0 comments —
"Oh dear, why does it always end up like this? Haha."