Chapter 285
Chapter 285
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 285
Chapter Title: Interlude 7: The Twins' Kitchen Catastrophe
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The kitchen, which the chefs had left spotless, now looked like the aftermath of a massive earthquake.
A huge chunk of cheese riddled with rat bites rolled across the floor, while crushed oyster shells scattered everywhere underfoot.
"The filling ended up more than the recipe called for... Hmm... We should probably bake it another twenty minutes or so."
Having arbitrarily tweaked the recipe right up to the end, Odil gathered the debris with telekinesis and tossed it into the trash, glancing at the clock.
Odet, who had been crouched in front of the oven with flames roaring inside, stood up and brushed off her skirt.
"Cooking is so fun."
"Right? It feels just like an alchemy class."
"Exactly! Way more fun than alchemy. If you mess up the measurements in alchemy, it explodes, but cooking doesn't."
The twins pulled up chairs in front of the oven and watched the horned chicken roast to a golden brown, swinging their legs back and forth.
Just waiting around doing nothing felt boring, so they pulled out some wine.
Passing glasses back and forth like an aperitif before dinner.
"Sis."
"What, Odet?"
"You know, there's something bothering me."
"What is it?"
"Sharon sis."
"What's up with Sharon sis?"
They had heard from Head Maid Galina that Sharon had regained consciousness that night.
Sharon Evergreen, who had been staying in the mansion's guest room for a while now.
Back when she was out and about in the world, she had doted on the twins quite a bit, and the twins hadn't disliked her company either.
She had this airheaded vibe that made her fun to tease, and aside from that, she was incredibly kind in a way that wasn't typical for a witch.
The bored twins would often visit her room after their daily routines, half out of worry and half curiosity, wondering, "Has she woken up yet today?"
If she had, it would be nice to greet her and ask about the assistant's recent whereabouts.
"What do you think of Sharon sis, sis?"
"She's a pretty, kind witch. She even played nicely with the assistant when he was bored."
"Right? And her boobs are huge."
"Totally. As big as Master's."
Starting with some idle chit-chat to warm things up, Odet got to the point.
"Don't you think... maybe the assistant and Sharon sis are lovers?"
"Huh? What brought that on?"
Odil, who had assumed it was just the usual silly banter, widened her eyes like saucers.
"No way. When we asked Sharon sis directly, she said they were just friends."
"Right, she said he was teaching her magic in exchange for room and board. But remember that time?"
"What time? Tell me more details."
"When the assistant was hugging Sharon sis to comfort her, and I tried to butt in, but you stopped me."
"...Oh!"
The time when Tiphereth Duke had misunderstood something and attacked him.
Seeing the two embracing, Odil had quietly stepped aside.
Truth be told, she had wanted to squeeze in between them, but she thought, "She's the one the assistant needs right now."
Sharon was the only one who could be his friend by his side, someone he could rely on.
But after Sharon's declaration of friendship, Odil had firmly believed their relationship would stay that way.
One could say the twins were far too naive about romance to fully grasp the intricate drama between men and women.
And the first to question that assumption was none other than Odet.
The culprit? One of Odet's two personal maids, Pecha.
"Maybe... they slept together?"
"You say the wildest things! We saw the separate rooms and beds back then!"
They might not have understood before, but now they knew what it meant for a man and woman to share a bed.
Odil jumped at Odet's bold, dizzying remark.
Stabbed right in an unexpected spot, she shook her head vigorously, denying it.
"No! Sis! Calm down and listen. I asked Pecha about it, and she said a man and woman living together can't just be friends."
"What? Why not?"
Odil's delicate eyebrows furrowed seriously.
Her expression looked almost angry, as if interrogating, making Odet's voice shrink a bit.
"Think about it. If you lived in the same room as the assistant every day, what do you think would happen?"
"Sounds awesome?"
"No, not that. I'm asking why it would be."
"Why?"
Fluffy clouds.
Odil's imagination began to unfurl in her mind.
The assistant, naked except for a towel around his waist, and Odil soaking in a huge tub filled with bath salts.
For some reason, the fantasy started with both of them nude.
"Lady Odil, allow me to assist with your bath."
"Sure, if it's you, Assistant, you can scrub every inch of me thoroughly."
Siu bowed politely as he attended her, while Odil giggled and teased.
As he covered her soft skin with smooth soap suds, Siu suddenly dropped his towel.
"...Assistant, what are you doing?"
"Preparing to scrub every inch thoroughly, as ordered."
In the fantasy, Siu slathered lotion generously over his impressively large member.
After that...
"A-As-Assistant...! You don't need to wash that far in???"
"Nonsense! I am your devoted servant, Lady Odil! I cannot take even the smallest order lightly! Now thrust out that tempting rear of yours!"
"Y-Yes... truly, As-Assistant... you always know how to make a girl squirm... Ahhn...!"
Their bodies overlapping.
Odil's deepest parts being cleaned more thoroughly than ever...
And then defiled again with hot white fluids at the end of the passionate act...
"Sis?"
Odet tilted her head at Odil's flushed face.
Steam practically rose from her head; you could feel the heat from afar, like a teapot on boil.
"A-anyway! So you're saying maybe the assistant scrubbed your deepest parts too?"
"What are you even talking about?"
Pulled out of her reverie, Odil shook her head as if it were nothing, spouting nonsense.
It had taken some time on pointless fantasies, but she got Odet's point.
"...Sounds plausible."
A man and woman sharing living space could glimpse each other's bare bodies with the slightest lapse in guard.
Plus, thinking of that officetel, the bed was just five steps away.
It was a lab primed for chemical reactions between young man and woman to ignite into explosions!
"Right?"
Odet clapped at her sister's agreement, confirming her hunch, then realized this wasn't something to celebrate and grew serious.
"This calls for a deep discussion. After the cooking research club disbands tonight, let's head to the room and form the 'Special Protection Headquarters for Assistant Shin Siu'."
"Sure? Then I'll be the headquarters chief!"
"You're already president of the cooking research club. It's my turn to lead this one."
"Why do you always get the prime gigs, sis? I've got riding club, oyster research club, tea party manager—stuff like that! You've got magic potion lab, ancient books archive, and now Special Assistant Protection Headquarters Chief? Not fair! And I discovered this threat first!"
In truth, all those "clubs" and "positions" were just role-play between the twins, holding no real power, but Odet was still miffed.
She glared daggers and confronted Odil.
But when it came to sophistry, Odil was a level above.
As she plotted to sweet-talk Odet as usual, a strange noise rang in her ears.
-Plop!
"Huh?"
"Hm?"
-Plop! Pffft! Plop!
Like fireworks bursting underwater, bubbling up.
Hearing the unfamiliar sound for the first time in their lives, the twins looked around frantically, then bent down together toward the source.
It came from the oven warming their shins at their feet.
Poor horned chicken, stuffed to its limit.
The moisture from the oysters and assorted ingredients was thermally expanding, bursting steam through the sewn seams.
It almost sounded like the horned chicken's death throes from the underworld.
"W-what do we do?"
"Odet, how much time left?"
"Perfect timing! Just right to take it out!"
Odet hurriedly turned off the oven and waited for the popping to subside.
Once the intermittent explosions died down, she cautiously lifted the lid to check the results.
"......"
"......"
The twins' creative horned chicken dish had somehow retained its shape, but in a truly pitiful state—hardly appetizing by any stretch.
Oysters had burst grotesquely from between its legs, where it should have been well-sealed, sticking to the floor. It looked just like "Horned Chicken Wrapping Twisted Underworld Oysters."
Chunks of cheese and vegetables interspersed only added to the grotesqueness.
At least the smell wasn't half bad—that was some consolation.
"Well then..."
"Well then..."
The twins locked eyes, immediately starting their "you first, no you first" routine.
"I'll let sis try it first."
"I'll let you try it first."
Of course, it wasn't sisterly love.
Neither wanted to be the first guinea pig for whatever this dish disguised.
"No, sis. You've worked so hard. It'll be tough leading the headquarters meeting later, so you need solid nutrition."
"No, Odet. What have I done that's so hard? And as cooking research club president, it's only natural I handle the crucial first taste test."
"No no, sis. I'm resigning as cooking research club president effective today. I've come to realize the vanity of empty titles. I'll hold a press conference in the room tonight."
"No no, Odet. Honor isn't born from substance or authority. It's called honor precisely because it demands respect in itself."
Trading verbal jabs that could be fatal if they landed wrong.
Then the kitchen door creaked open.
-Click clack clack
Footsteps echoed in the kitchen.
The twins froze mid-argument, then sighed in relief.
The figure emerging from the shadows was none other than Lena, who had helped them through it all.
"Lena!"
"You scared us! Knock next time! I thought you were Head Maid Galina..."
Odil's face drained of color mid-sentence.
Because the one person she least wanted to see was right there.
"You guessed correctly, Miss Odil."
Galina, the head maid, past sixty yet boasting a sturdy build and sharp eyes.
She had used Lena to block any chance of the twins' escape, showing her seasoned prowess.
"S-sorry... I didn't mean to hide it..."
"I allowed use of the mansion's public facilities because you said you'd make jam to take home... Did Lena lie?"
"I'm sorry... Head Maid Galina..."
"We'll address responsibility tomorrow. Head upstairs first."
"Yes.... I'm truly sorry."
Lena shot an apologetic glance at Odil and Odet before scurrying upstairs.
Galina's round glasses reflected the chaotic kitchen, arms crossed.
Odil had tidied somewhat, but it was still pandemonium.
The twins' shoulders trembled like aspen leaves.
"Now, shall we go over this one by one?"
"Hic!"
Caught in her viper-like glare, the twins hiccuped in unison.