Chapter 124
Chapter 124
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 124
Chapter Title: Missed Connection (4)
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Exiting the cabin and the gulping tree forest, they followed the field path leading east.
After walking along that path for about thirty minutes, a gentle hill came into view.
The hill was low enough that one could reach the top without even getting winded, and it was densely covered with clusters of vibrant green wild barley that had bravely pushed through the late winter chill.
Untamed by human hands and growing wild in its natural state, the barley boasted leaves of lively jade-green, full of vitality, swaying their heads this way and that in the breeze.
Leaning back against an unnamed tree planted in the middle of the hill, Amelia and Siwoo each set up their easels.
To keep the paper from being swept away by the wind, they secured wooden boards behind the easels and began to draw.
Amelia quietly traced lines, capturing the scenery before her eyes onto the canvas.
There were plenty of spots near the cabin perfect for landscape painting, but this barley hill was Amelia's absolute favorite.
Yet even on this picnic with Siwoo—which should have been pure delight—Amelia kept fidgeting, setting down her pencil only to pick it up again.
It was because Siwoo was unusually quiet today, staring blankly at his drawing paper with a dazed expression.
"Siwoo."
"……."
"Siwoo."
"...Yes, Lady Amelia."
Even when Amelia called to him, he wouldn't meet her gaze.
The tip of his pencil moved halfheartedly, scribbling meaningless lines across the white paper.
Amelia wasn't stupid.
She could easily guess his state of mind—and what was happening right now.
"Are you hungry? We did skip breakfast, after all."
"I'm fine."
But the instant the words left her mouth.
The moment she spoke to him, a suffocating anxiety gripped her—the fear that her sweet dream would shatter into pieces without mercy. She was forcing herself to play dumb.
"I packed extra salmon today. You love that, right?"
"Really, I'm good. No appetite."
Amelia bit down hard on her lower lip.
The chorus of anxiety and unease pounded in her chest, her heartbeat racing uncomfortably fast.
She tried her best to sound normal—like the tone she'd always used with him back at the cabin.
"Siwoo, like I told you before. When you hold the pencil, grip it with your fingertips... Ah!"
Amelia reached to adjust his grip over the back of his hand, but her arm was flung away sharply.
Bounced back by Siwoo's fierce resistance, Amelia stood there in a daze.
She couldn't process what had just happened.
"Sorry, I-I grabbed your hand out of nowhere, didn't I? That pissed you off? Because of yesterday... right?"
Siwoo's hand trembled faintly as he gripped the pencil, still refusing to look at her.
She rattled off random topics, acting like nothing was wrong.
"You must be upset. I know I was too reckless... I'm reflecting on it. Sorry... So please, just cool off..."
"……."
"Or is something really wrong with you? Should we head back and rest together?"
As if this could erase it all.
As if it could keep that dreaded day of reckoning—the one she'd been desperately delaying—from ever arriving.
She squeezed her eyes shut and pretended not to notice.
For the first time, Siwoo's gaze turned to Amelia.
Amelia thought it looked like supercooled water.
Calmly rippling now, but ready to flash-freeze into ice flowers at the slightest jolt.
Amelia bit her lip, choking back tears as she pressed on.
Forcing a poignant smile, she met his eyes.
"Today... when we get home, let's have tea together. Milk tea and scones—sound good? I even stocked up on butter from Tarot Town the other day."
A vain hope, destined to pop like a soap bubble.
"Then we'll read books until dinner... Study the magic you like, together. After we eat, how about stargazing? Lying on the roof... You loved that, Siwoo."
Words of a happy day that might never come.
"It's been ages since we shared a bed. You've grown so much now—the bed might feel cramped—but I'll scoot over. Then, after that, after that..."
What came after that?
What was there after?
Drip. Drip.
Tears streamed down, ruining the corners of Amelia's eyes, but Siwoo's expression didn't change.
"I know... I already know..."
The Siwoo who'd rush over worried if she so much as pretended to be upset? Gone.
The Siwoo who'd tenderly comfort her tears? Gone.
"You've come back... completely."
"Yes, Associate Professor Amelia Merrygold."
That selfish springtime dream? Over.
2.
Amelia collapsed to the ground right there.
Siwoo looked down at her.
His chest felt like it was ripping apart.
The sight of Amelia—precious beyond words—crying because of his coldness choked the breath from his lungs.
He wanted to drop to his knees, pull her into his arms, and comfort her right then.
To cradle her small frame, stroke her hair, whisper that it was okay, over and over.
Because that's what she'd done for him.
Amelia had indulged his childish whims, shown him simple, beautiful happiness, always made him smile, made his heart race.
That's why.
He couldn't forgive her.
In the tangled wreckage of his memories, Amelia was smiling.
Sneering.
Amid the muddy swirl of emotions, Siwoo was loving her.
Hating her.
"Why did you do it?"
"Ugh... uuk... hic..."
Amelia tried to speak, but her words drowned again and again in tears and sobs.
Siwoo reached for a cigarette out of habit.
None there.
He irritably tugged at his collar.
Forcing a casual tone with a raised voice, he confessed.
"Just like you said, Associate Professor. My memories are all back. Woke up at dawn, and bam—everything, every last bit."
Siwoo yanked Amelia's arm.
Like a doll with severed strings, she rose unsteadily, dragged along limply in his grip.
"I wrestled with it. What to do. You know that feeling? The person you loved and respected most in the world turns overnight into someone you truly hated."
If only.
He hadn't lost his memories.
If only.
Amelia hadn't been kind.
If only.
She'd stayed the hateful Amelia.
If only.
He'd never fallen for her.
At least then, he wouldn't feel this searing betrayal.
When he pushed her and saw her pained grimace—that heart-melting agony wouldn't have hit.
He might've hated her less.
"I agonized. Could I just move past it? Forget everything from before? Or this fucked-up mood, this nauseating confusion, this betrayal... how to pay it back? A hundredfold, thousandfold, the exact feeling I had. Agonized over it endlessly."
Amelia's motives? Unclear.
Why suddenly dote on memory-lost, childlike Siwoo?
What was the goal? No clue.
He wanted payback.
This teeth-grinding betrayal.
This gut-wrenching loss—the most trusted person flipping to the city's most hated, overnight.
That void she flung him into—he wanted her to feel it too.
"But nah. I can't go that far."
Couldn't do it.
Just couldn't.
Bloodshot veins crept into Siwoo's right eye, laced with icy chill.
He seized the barely upright Amelia and spoke.
"So convince me. Why, why, why me? Why the one who got that shitty treatment? Why play nice so late, toy with a person's—a person's feelings like trash, leave me this wrecked? Give me the reason."
"Siwoo..."
"Let go!"
Amelia's pitiful hand flopped harmlessly onto his arm.
Not the pain—it was the terror. Siwoo, of all people, unleashing that razor glare, raw resentment, disgust. Amelia froze, numb.
"Think I still forgot everything?"
"Siwoo, Siwoo... I-I'll explain... Don't get mad..."
How could her terrified trembling look so repulsive?
She wasn't like this before.
Always cold-faced, stern-eyed, dumping brutal tasks without mercy.
It all felt fake.
Truth be damned—even if she'd changed after nearly losing her "useful assistant."
Siwoo couldn't wrap his head around it.
The images wouldn't mesh.
Slaves don't challenge witches.
Getting emotional with 22nd-rank Amelia? Knife-edge walking.
Siwoo didn't care.
Compared to his rage, betrayal—life weighed less than a feather.
Amelia staggered forward, clinging to him.
Forcing past his rigid elbows, no give at all, she hugged his torso desperately.
"I'm sorry... Siwoo, my fault... Tormenting you all this time, venting on you, overtime... The stable for five years... All my fault... I'll do anything for forgiveness... Please, please..."
Her apology—sobs mangling it near unintelligible.
Still pierced like an awl.
Siwoo's heart? Unmoved.
Just reconfirmed her past cruelties as petty whims.
The gut-punch realization: Yeah, it really happened.
"Tell me why. Why torment me? That's all I wanna hear."
Amelia looked at Siwoo.
Siwoo looked at Amelia.
"Because I love you, Siwoo."
Amelia unleashed the words she'd bottled up.
The ones she could never say.
"After nearly losing you... I finally admitted my feelings... Sorry, so sorry..."
Siwoo's tension snapped, strength fleeing.
Not that the reason underwhelmed.
Just that—for such a flimsy excuse.
Even her doting on child-Siwoo? Pure self-interest.
Selfish, start to finish.
Amelia, selfish through and through.
"If you hate me that much... I'll live in the stable too. Use me like a slave till you're over it... Torment me... Please, just forgive me..."
"Lady Amelia."
His voice softened a touch—Amelia dared hope, peeking up cautiously.
Their eyes met. Vain hope shattered.
"I asked—even if I got my memories back... couldn't you forgive me?"
Cowardly.
If she'd pondered even a second what regaining-memories Siwoo would feel—what despair—what she'd unleash.
She never should've said it.
Never.
That? Unforgivable.
"Let's end it. I forgive you."
Amelia read his eyes.
Thick resignation. Disillusionment.
"Please, don't... don't say that."
All threads binding her to Siwoo frayed, snapped.
"What? Forgave you. Your wish came true, Lady Amelia."
Amelia stumbled back, collapsing to the dirt.
"Tore up the slave contract too. Not your exclusive anymore. But baroness—I'll show max respect."
Siwoo's parting blade severed the last strands.
"The Siwoo you loved? Dead. Didn't exist."
Amelia awaited final judgment, eyes glazing—tears' strength gone.
"The Siwoo who loved you? Dead too. Same deal."
Bitter smirk curling, Siwoo folded his paper, packed his easel.
Amelia couldn't hold his retreating back.
"Oh yeah. Gotta say this."
Siwoo halted abruptly.
No time for hope—the killing words dropped.
"You're selfish. Terribly so."