Chapter 121
Chapter 121
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 121
Chapter Title: Missed Connection
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do happy moments slip away so fleetingly?
Time flowed through her fingers like sand, impossible to hold onto.
Every day, they woke up together and shared breakfast.
Amelia's cooking wasn't exactly top-notch.
She knew that herself, so instead of showing off fancy techniques, she focused on simple dishes that let the ingredients shine on their own.
Fried eggs with bacon, sausages, and bread, that sort of thing.
Once breakfast was done, they'd pack a lunch and head out for the day before noon.
They had promised to do something special each day, after all.
Some days, they'd grab an easel, canvas, and pencils, then sit on a hillside where the barley grew wild and uneven, sketching side by side.
Other days, she'd play the violin in a private concert just for Siwoo.
Or they'd go fishing in the nearby lake, or swim together.
They'd lie side by side on the roof, gazing at the stars,
or stomp bedsheets in a basin full of soapy bubbles to wash them,
or occasionally buy ingredients and bake apple pies in the annex oven.
Amelia shared with Siwoo every warm day her master had given her.
Each one felt so precious, shining so brightly.
"Lady Amelia."
"Yes?"
"You're spacing out more than usual today."
"Just lost in thought for a moment."
Amelia shook her head and looked at Siwoo.
He was sitting at the table, organizing formulas that had grown far more complex.
Now, she couldn't even make sense of them without his explanations.
It might be different if it were another witch's self-generating magic, but the spells he was researching had such a strong personal flair.
And ever since he'd lost his emotions once, that color had only deepened.
"You don't have to stay right beside me. I can handle it on my own now."
"No, sometimes you still get stuck."
Siwoo's voice had deepened.
More than half the vial was empty now, and he'd taken on the look of a young man whose adolescence had passed.
He still had a boyish air, but with each passing day, he resembled the Siwoo she remembered more and more.
"If you're tired, you can go to bed first."
"No, I'm a witch. This much isn't enough to wear me out."
"Still, you've been sleeping properly every night lately."
"Guess it's become a habit. But I don't need to sleep, either way."
Amelia, who used to go a week at shortest—or months at longest—without sleep, had now become a witch with a steady sleep schedule.
"Are you feeling lonely without me there?"
It had been quite some time since Amelia and Siwoo stopped sharing a bed.
Siwoo, growing taller by the day, had been the first to feel awkward about it and suggested they stop.
He asked casually, but trailed off as if embarrassed, seeming to regret bringing it up at all.
"You think?"
"Ah."
Amelia's offhand remark made the already awkward Siwoo even more flustered.
The words slipped out without passing through any filter in her brain.
Siwoo gaped blankly, and Amelia stared right at his face.
He no longer looked like a child.
That little boy had grown up so much before she knew it.
In reality, they'd only spent a little over a month together, but watching him grow from that young age made it feel like they'd shared years.
With time this happy, it wouldn't be strange if years felt like mere days.
"Sorry. I was just kidding."
"Were you? I was kidding too."
Amelia rested her head on the desk and grinned broadly, while Siwoo awkwardly cupped his chin and turned away.
He cleared his throat.
With memories densely reconstructed day after day, every moment felt like a year to Siwoo.
He'd go to sleep and wake up changed in body, mind, and memory.
So the closeness and affection he felt for Amelia, who stayed by his side all day, wasn't just a month's worth.
Sometimes she felt like a mother who'd raised young Siwoo, sometimes a sister, a teacher, or even...
"Siwoo."
Amelia suddenly poked her head in, interrupting his thoughts.
In her now-smaller hand compared to his was the vial, less than half full.
Every night, she fed him the medicine.
She wished these days could go on forever.
But she also wanted to run and hide.
Still, this was her duty, her responsibility.
Seeing Siwoo recover safely brought relief—and a sadness like smoldering ashes.
Siwoo, oblivious to her inner turmoil, calmly took the potion from the spoon.
"I could drink this on my own by now."
"I want to do it."
Siwoo obediently let the spoon into his mouth and swallowed.
Amelia watched with inexplicably sad eyes.
"Don't push yourself too late. I'm heading to bed."
"Goodnight, Lady Amelia."
Amelia paused, afraid that staring at his face any longer would make tears spill over.
But seeing his sturdy, growing form revived regrets she'd thought she'd abandoned.
Her mind knew better.
She shouldn't say it.
She couldn't.
It would be cowardly, petty, vile.
But the anxiety and desperation built up from watching these happy days end right before her eyes slipped out unbidden.
"Siwoo, I have something I want to say."
"Yes?"
Amelia stood diagonally by his desk.
Had he noticed her voice was different? Siwoo turned to her with visible tension.
Her pleading eyes pierced his heart.
She was grieving.
Seeing her so downcast made his chest ache too.
That expression didn't suit her—she looked better smiling.
"I'm listening."
Siwoo gently prompted her, as she struggled to speak.
Tears welled up in her beautiful eyes.
"Later..."
Amelia swallowed a sob and spoke to Siwoo.
Words she'd sworn never to say, selfish comfort for a fleeting moment.
"Even if you regain your memories later... can you forgive me?"
"........."
Seeing Amelia so frail and small, unlike her usual self, Siwoo reached out and wiped her tears with his shirtsleeve.
"Lady Amelia..."
Amelia felt the urge to rush into his broad embrace.
To confess everything, how sorry she was, to cling to him.
To beg.
To wail that she was so sorry, so regretful, never to abandon her.
To plead, implore, seek forgiveness.
But Amelia barely restrained the irreverent impulse.
She felt his thickened hand patting her back.
"I don't know what wrong you did me, so I can't promise for sure."
His kind voice rang close in her ear, even amid her weak, selfish state, and tears burst out like magic.
"Hic... ugh... sob..."
Siwoo gently stroked her trembling shoulders as her tears soaked his.
"But I'll try to forgive you. Even if not right away. Because right now, you're the most precious person to me."
Siwoo waited until she calmed.
He held her shoulders and pulled back slightly to see her face.
Her once-composed features were a tear-streaked mess right in front of him.
Despite their different upbringings, mindsets, and positions, in that moment, they shared the same thought.
I want to kiss her.
Their lips met without hesitation.
Soft, yielding lips overlapped, and Siwoo wrapped his arms around her waist and nape.
Amelia's wandering hands clutched his shirt like a lifeline.
As if she never wanted to let go.
As if she wanted to stay like this forever.
When his rough tongue slipped past her lips, her body jolted like an electric shock.
At her instinctive pullback, Siwoo gripped her slender waist firmly to keep her close.
Amelia felt the kiss in a dreamy haze.
Coarse yet soft, yielding yet sticky.
Her master had taught her.
A kiss is a signal between two people.
A signal of "I trust you."
A signal of "I permit more than before."
Shin Siwoo trusted Amelia.
Amelia wanted to permit him even more.
She knew that much, felt it clearly, even if nothing else.
Exchanging saliva and breaths, Amelia clung to Siwoo.
Their quickening breaths filled the small room.
Her hands on his collar held a silent plea.
Siwoo's hand slid from her waist to her buttocks.
His other hand lifted her nightgown like a curtain, grasping her soft bare breast.
Siwoo didn't know how to treat a woman.
He was just following instinct with Amelia.
She offered no resistance to his groping hands.
She simply sucked his tongue more eagerly, panting as she yielded her body completely.
Without breaking the kiss, they waltzed naturally toward the bed.
Amelia's retreating legs hit the bed, and she toppled backward.
"Haa... haa..."
"Haa..."
Their lips parted, and Siwoo steadied his heaving chest as he looked down at her.
Her hair fanned out on the bed like golden sand, cheeks flushed red.
The nightgown, hiked up by his hand, exposed her pale, smooth belly and one breast.
Amelia didn't cover herself.
Didn't fix her dress.
She just lay there, gasping from the kiss, gazing up at him as if awaiting judgment.
Siwoo swallowed hard.
To him, Amelia was a benefactor who'd cared for him for nearly a decade.
He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't claim he'd never thought irrationally upon seeing her beauty.
Quite the opposite.
He'd thought it often—wanting to be closer, to have something deeper than this ambiguous bond.
And even to oblivious Siwoo, the mood felt like a natural progression.
A flow toward becoming one, growing closer.
"........."
"........."
Even in formal courtship, intimacy waited three years later—that's what he'd always thought.
That was proper for a chaste, refined lady.
But when his tongue invaded her lips.
When his strong hands gripped her breast and lifted her hips.
Lying on his bed under his burning gaze.
She wanted to allow it.
Wanted him to open the door to a world she'd never known.
Siwoo swallowed again and leaned down, crawling over her body.
Amelia squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head.
Then, as if resolved, she gently pushed his cheek away with her palm as he moved to bite her nape.
"No... Siwoo, we can't..."
"Ah..."
Siwoo snapped out of it, as if awoken from a dream.
As the heated mood chilled rapidly, Amelia sat up and straightened her disheveled gown.
She spoke in a choked voice.
"I want what you want too..."
Amelia brushed past him like fleeing and grabbed the doorknob.
Her back, turned to him, looked so small and forlorn.
"But... I don't deserve it... I don't deserve this..."
"What do you mean, deserve—"
"I'm sorry."
With that apology, as if rewinding everything, Amelia returned to her room.